A/N: Poor Hermione and Draco. The danger of Dangerfield is gone now leaving Hermione to try and piece her life together and make Draco remember… along with dealing with the loss of their child. Merry Christmas all!

DISCLAIMER: Only the plot and Douglas and Dangerfield… and Professor Hill, Nancy, Darren, Peter, and Benji.

Chapter Eleven: Regret

Hermione slowly opened her eyes and looked around at the small room. Where on earth was she? She looked down at the bed taking in the white sheets with a soft yellow top blanket matching her nightgown. She pushed her self up and sat silently as it came back to her. The pain, blood and telling Blaise what had happened, how she had miscarried. How she had lost the baby. Her baby, Draco's baby, their baby. Hermione let out a sob and covered her mouth with a hand trying to silence the sobs.

She closed her eyes and took deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. Why should she cry? She had been the stupid one to change her future, which must have triggered the miscarriage, surely!

A knock at the door caused Hermione to stop crying. She wiped her tears away and took a deep breath as the door opened with her mother and father walking in.

"Oh sweetie," said Elle hurrying over to her daughter and hugging her, "I'm so sorry honey."

"I'll be fine," said Hermione with a tight-lipped smile before her father hugged her as well, "How are you both?"

"We are fine," said Sam, "It's you we are worried about. Your Headmistress said that it was caused by stress. What are you stressing about?"

Hermione was silent as she took in the information. Stress had killed the baby. Hermione had been stressing for quite some time. The curse drama, learning her and Draco had broken up and stressing over how she was going to make him remember. After a moment she looked up at her father ready to answer him.

"School work."

Her parents both gave her a disbelieving look but didn't question her answer. They stayed for a while longer arranging for her to come home for the weekend to escape the stress of University. Hermione said goodbye to them just before Harry and Ron arrived. Ron shut the door as Harry hugged Hermione. Ron gave her a hug and both sat on either side of the bed.

"We saw Malfoy," said Harry, "He's hanging around outside the Hospital Wing pacing."

"Probably wondering if he should see me or not," said Hermione, "Doesn't want to appear too concerned over his ex-girlfriend's condition, does he?"

"Apparently he has already seen you and knows about… the miscarriage," replied Ron.

"Oh."

Harry glanced around and saw a wheelchair to the side of the room, "If he won't come in why not go out to him?"

Both Hermione and Ron looked at Harry in confusion. He gave a sigh and shook his head briefly.

"You both are going to have to talk about the miscarriage one day. Or it is just going to manifest into this big ugly thing between you both and you'll never get him to remember."

"It's not worth it," said Hermione bitterly, "It's over between us and I'm tired of fighting to be happy! I was fighting against Leonard to be happy and now I am fighting to make Draco remember about us so I can be happy. Why do I have to keep on fighting?"

Her two friends looked at her sadly causing Hermione to look away with an irritable sigh. At that moment the door opened with Professor Hill walking in.

"How are you Miss Granger?" she asked with a smile.

"When can I go?" replied Hermione looking up at the Professor, "I don't feel sore."

"Let me check you over and then I'll see whether you can leave or not."

"We'll wait outside," said Harry standing with Ron and leaving.

Professor Hill checked Hermione over and wrote notes down before pulling a slip of paper out from her folder.

"You have an appointment with the University counsellor. It's tomorrow at 2pm," said Professor Hill, "You must attend it, okay?"

Hermione gave a nod before looking up at Professor Hill again, "So am I free to go?"

"Sure."

DH

Hermione walked out of the Hospital Wing with Harry and Ron on either side of her. As they stepped out Draco looked up at them in surprise. Hermione looked down at the ground as Harry and Ron mumbled about going to the library awkwardly. As they left Draco walked closer running a hand through his untidy hair. Hermione finally looked up at him, holding a bag of blood stained clothes.

"I… I saw your parents earlier," said Draco unsure of what else to say.

"So did I," replied Hermione quietly.

"Right… so you did."

Hermione nodded before looking down at the ground.

"I ah… should let you go then," said Draco running a hand through his hair again.

Hermione looked at him fighting off the urge to run towards him and kiss him passionately, or to even hug him and cry her heart out. She looked away as feet came hurrying down the corridor. Rushing towards her were Ginny and her mother. Draco backed away and turned and left as Ginny gave Hermione a hug.

"Mum came and got me once she received Ron's letter," said Ginny looking at Hermione sympathetically, "How are you?"

"I'll be fine," replied Hermione glancing down the corridor Draco was walking down, "Can we go back to my dorm?"

"Of course," said Molly kindly.

DH

"Well won't things be easier now?" asked Blaise as Draco stared into the lit fireplace, "You both won't have to face each other now."

"This isn't another ordinary break up Blaise," said Draco looking at his best mate, "I love Hermione. She helped me get away from drugs and alcohol. I've never met anyone else like her… you should understand that. You and Pansy are in love and still together."

Blaise shrugged with a nod, "True. But mate… with their being no pregnancy, what excuse are you going to use to hang around her? The only time you both are in the same room is when one is arriving at the centre hall for a meal and the other suddenly leaves."

Draco shot Blaise an annoyed look before sighing, "Maybe it's just over for us. For good."

"Mate, only you can decide that. If you want it to work go for it. If not… let it go."

Blaise stood and walked out whistling some Weird Sister's song. Draco stood as well seeing it was time for Quidditch. He gave a turn and suddenly appeared outside the University. He ran up the steps and along the corridor looking away as Molly and Ginny walked past him. He gave a sigh as he rounded a corner coming face to face with Hermione, her self.

What was he to do? Keep walking or say something? It all came down to what Blaise said. Did he want it to work or let it go?

"Staring at me won't make me vanish," said Hermione pulling Draco from his thoughts.

"Sorry," said Draco before clearing his throat, "I was just thinking."

Hermione nodded glancing at him and looking away, "Okay."

"About… us."

Hermione looked at him again and let out a sigh, "You just want to forget it all… I can understand that."

Draco frowned. Even he could sense an underlying message to the comment, "What do you know?"

"What?"

"You mean something with what you said."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you do, Hermione. I'm not stupid."

Hermione took a deep breath and crossed her arms, "It's nothing alright? I really need to go rest."

As she turned Draco reached out and grabbed her arm. Hermione looked at him expectantly but Draco merely frowned.

"Maybe… maybe we should," said Draco softly.

"We should what?"

"Let this go… or something like that."

Hermione just nodded and backed away from him, pulling her arm free, "If you want that, fine. I… I won't change your mind or anything."

Before Draco could stop her, Hermione left. He watched her silently feeling something heavy settle in the bottom of his stomach. He knew the name of the thing: regret.

DH

The week passed with Hermione keeping her heartbreak to her self. She attended class like normal and avoided Draco as if he were a disease. If she did have to see him her eyesight was conveniently occupied elsewhere, normally listening to Douglas rattle about something French. He did however keep his comments about Hermione and Draco truly breaking up to himself, unlike other people who constantly asked if she was all right.

Hermione stifled a yawn as she sat in the library at 2am in the morning. She tiredly rubbed her eyes and looked down at the thick medicine textbook trying to take in the information.

Dragon Pox marks can be flammable. The best treatment is ice-cold, itch free balm… flammable… itch free balm… Pox… treatment… ice-free… he pressed her into the corner, his lips invading her body. She stood stiff praying for it to be over… Draco looked at her coldly and laughed.

"I don't love you Hermione, I never did."

"No," begged Hermione falling to her knees as Dangerfield tilted her head back roughly and glared down at her, "Draco!"

"Oh come now Hermione. He won't save you now. Didn't you just hear him? Hermione? Hermione-"

"Hermione! Did you spend the night in here?"

Hermione jumped awake and blinked a few times before looking at Nancy in confusion, "I was dreaming… Dangerfield."

"Who? Is everything okay?" asked Nancy sitting across from her, "You've been doing this all week girl. It's not healthy."

Hermione rubbed her eyes and stretched, "What time is it?"

"9 in the morning. Did you rest at all at your parents?"

"Somewhat. I've got to stay ahead, you know? Falling behind… I can't do that."

"Hermione you are studying Chapter 24. In class we are only up to chapter 10."

Hermione shrugged but jumped up packing her stuff away as Draco's voice came from a nearby aisle. She stuffed her things into her bag and looked at Nancy.

"I really should eat and get some sleep," said Hermione, "I'll see you later, right?"

Nancy gave a nod and watched Hermione leave before shaking her head.

Hermione ran out of the library and along the corridor before leaning against a wall gasping for breath. She found a toilet and locked her self into a cubicle before rolling her pant leg up to see no scar. She closed her eyes and wiped away a few tears.

Regret.

She hated it. She regretted changing her outcome. Maybe there was another way no one thought of. Killing Dangerfield? Torturing him for the cure? So many more possibilities were coming to mind now more then ever.

Hermione composed her self and exited the cubicle and toilets and headed for her room. She kept her mind alert for any sign of Draco and gave a cry of shock before calming down as Harry and Ron appeared around a corner.

"Look at you!" cried Ron seeing Hermione's appearance, "Nancy is right. You are a mess!"

"Lovely compliment," replied Hermione bitterly, "Is that your new pick up line?"

"Herms, Ron is right. You are a mess. I haven't seen you in two days. Have you been living in the library?"

"I have to keep ahead in class," replied Hermione as they walked into her dormitory.

"So that requires starving yourself and being anti-social?" asked Ron bluntly.

Hermione shot him an irritated glare as she sat down and burst into tears. Harry stepped forward and placed an arm around her shoulders as Ron sat across from them both.

"It's all wrong," said Hermione miserably, "I thought with Dangerfield gone everything would be great again but it's the total opposite. Nearly three weeks I've been broken up with Draco! But in my reality it's only been a week and a half! I want him to remember… but he won't."

"Why not?" asked Harry.

"It's over! He wants us to just let it go… what can I do?"

"For one," said Ron, "Get cleaned up. Pull yourself together Hermione. No one finds a miserable, depressed woman attractive, no matter how pretty they are."

Harry nodded, "Then you need to get rid of the whole… bitterness. Be your self again and start socializing with your friends. You will only ever find an answer if you start being positive about things. Show Malfoy what he is missing, alright?"

Hermione gave a sniffle and nodded.

"But first," said Ron, "Get some sleep. You look like a zombie."

Hermione managed a chuckle and hugged her friends before heading to get much needed sleep.

DH

"No!" laughed Draco whacking Darren on the arm, "You actually did that?"

"Yeah… though I must say I did get detention for two months," said Darren, "But when I told Nancy, she was impressed."

"Ah… Nancy. How goes it with her?"

"Smoothly. She is a great woman. I'm glad I got to meet her here, you know? She is nothing like the other chicks here. Most are so absorbed with superficial crap. Nancy is nothing like that."

Draco nodded. He knew what Darren meant. That's how it was with Hermione. He found her to be nothing like the other women around the University. He looked wistfully up at her dorm window, as though willing her to be there looking down at him. All he got was an empty balcony with only a towel hanging over the edge drying.

"Not over her, huh?" asked Darren seeing his face.

"Won't be for a while," said Draco quietly, "I'm the one who ended it completely."

"She's a mess from what Nancy said. Hibernates in the library, studying non-stop. Hardly eats. Nancy is really worried. I think she was going to see Harry and Ron about it. Maybe they'll set her straight."

Draco gave a nod. He did hope Potter and Weasley got to Hermione before she got messed up into anything.

DH

"Oh she looks real messed up," said Draco as him, Blaise and Darren stood at the Centre Hall doorway watching Hermione interact happily with her friends.

Draco looked at Darren who shrugged.

"Maybe Harry and Ron spoke with her," said Darren, "I just told you what Nancy told me."

The three walked in with Darren sitting beside Nancy, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek. Blaise and Draco sat across from Hermione and Harry. Hermione smiled at them both before looking at her Roast Beef dinner.

"Looking healthy again, Granger," commented Blaise, gesturing to her tidy outfit and her groomed hair.

"Yes I am," said Hermione with a small smile, "Harry, be a dear and pass the gravy."

Harry looked at her and chuckled, "Sure my sugar pie."

Both chuckled as Harry handed her the gravy. Draco merely raised his eyebrows, but kept his eyes focused on his plate. Blaise openly rolled his eyes at the pair as Ron gave them a weird look.

"Sugar pie? Dear?" he asked.

"Just mucking around Ron," said Hermione reassuringly, "I could always go about calling you my Ronnikins."

Ron paled at the idea and shook his head, "My mother will be doing that the day I tell her I am getting married. That alone is bad enough, thanks."

"So, you made a turn around, Hermione?" said Nancy looking pleased.

"I did. Thanks to a little birdie alerting Harry and Ron," said Hermione smiling at Nancy.

Nancy grinned as Draco looked at Hermione with interest. So she was moving on. He knew he had to as well.

"How is Pansy these days, Zabini?" asked Hermione.

"Good. She is coming for the Christmas break. She can't wait to see you."

"Do you know if Millie is coming?"

"No idea. You'll have to ask her your self."

Hermione just nodded and dropped the conversation. She looked at the food she had eaten half of. Her good mood was waning as her hand absently brushed her stomach. She forced a smile to her face as Harry looked at her.

"I need some fresh air," said Hermione standing up, "I'll see you all later."

Everyone said goodbye as Hermione left at a quick pace.

"She put up a good show," said Harry to Ron, not knowing Draco was listening.

"She's trying. That's all she can do," replied Ron with a slight shrug, "Maybe she needs counselling?"

"Or someone to listen," cut in Draco, unable to keep silent, "I know I am the ex, but Hermione needs a person to just hear her out and not try and push their views onto her."

"Dude, you don't even know half of what is bothering Hermione," said Ron coldly, "Just stay out of this, alright?"

"That may be so, but that doesn't mean I don't know what she wants at the moment."

"Ron," said Harry firmly, "Just drop it."

DH

Hermione sat on the chair and looked up at the night sky. She crossed her arms against the cold and gave a jump as a shadow blocked her light. She turned slightly and saw Draco looking at her quietly.

"Hi," he said standing awkwardly beside her.

"Hi."

"Chilly, isn't it?"

"A little."

"Look," said Draco deciding to just get directly to the point as he sat beside her, "I know we broke up, but I can tell you just need someone to listen to you."

Hermione looked at Draco quietly before nodding, "I do, but it can't be you."

"Why not?"

"Well you covered one point moments ago."

"We broke up."

Hermione nodded, "And because half of it would trip you out completely."

"Like what? You slept with someone unexpected?" joked Draco, only Hermione took it seriously.

"What?" she cried standing up.

"Whoa, Hermione I was kidding!"

"Me? Sleep with someone unexpected? I would never do that to you! And even though we have broken up, shagging some random guy isn't like me at all! I haven't even considered sex or anything that relates to it!"

"I was kidding, seriously, I know you aren't like that."

Hermione turned away from him and looked out at the nearby gardens, "Half of what is eating away at me you know nothing about."

"Why not?"

Hermione whirled around to face him, "You just don't and you probably never will."

"Why is that? You keep on hinting about but you never explain it to me."

"It can't be explained!" cried Hermione waving her hands about in frustration, "If I could explain it to you in ten thousand ways I would, believe me!"

"Try me!"

"Try you? Fine! I will!" screamed Hermione before taking a deep breath, "I don't remember the same past as you do! My history is different to yours because I altered it for a reason! There you go!"

Draco stared at Hermione before he laughed, "Good one! Now tell me the truth."

"That is the truth! I am not lying! Ask Harry and Ron, Lupin, Charlie Weasley and Bill Weasley! It is the truth!"

Draco shook his head, "You must have some really vivid dreams."

"If you loved me without any ill feeling and believe I am the only thing you need you will remember it as well!"

Draco's smile faded as he looked at Hermione in shock, "What?"

"I want you to remember so badly but you won't. And it's because you either feel something horrible towards me or just don't believe I am the one thing you need out of anything else," said Hermione desperately.

Draco stepped back a bit looking a little pale, "You aren't kidding?"

"I wish I was now… but no I'm not."

Draco looked up at the sky, running a hand through his hair. He looked at Hermione and saw she was looking more honest then she had in days, "W-why did you change the past?"

"I was cursed. And no cure could be found… I was dying and was being forced to leave you and everyone behind… its complicated but that is the basic outline."

"I can't remember any of this?"

"No. None… I came back hoping we were still together… but then I learnt we had broken up and then I had the miscarriage… everything is a huge mess and that wasn't my intention at all!" said Hermione with tears filling her eyes, "Life was meant to be complication free… no messes or dramas but no. You can never win! The only good thing to come out of it all is Blaise lived!"

"What?"

"In my past he was killed in battle with Crabbe and Goyle."

"They… they did die protecting me."

"And your parents?"

"D-dead."

"Some things are still the same."

Draco shook his head. He looked at Hermione and saw her wiping tears away looking lost and confused. He stepped towards her, his heart pounding. Hermione turned to him and was met with his warm lips upon hers. A strong gust of wind whirled around them as the pair drew closer, Draco's hands on either side of Hermione's face as the kiss deepened. Within Draco's mind everything was unfolding, as though a block had been removed from his memory allowing everything to come rushing back.

Hermione felt her energy draining as the memories copied from her to Draco. But even though she felt weak, her mind wouldn't stop. It had to be shared, he had to know everything and only she could make him remember it all.

The wind came to a stop and the pair broke apart with Hermione staggering backwards onto the bench. Draco stood still breathing deeply as everything registered in his mind slowly. He looked at Hermione, actual tears in his eyes.

"I-I remember," he whispered.

Hermione nodded smiling before falling backwards, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.

A/N: Well that will do till next time. It is late and I need sleep… review!

Until next time…

Love yas!

Love Coz!