Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

A/N: To all my guest reviewers: I am unable to PM you, so I'll just have to say here thank you for all of your encouraging reviews. To all my reviewers – You inspire me.

Rain fell earlier and the night air was crisp with a piercing cold. Snow had yet to fall in Konoha, but weather experts (read old, gossiping women) claimed that this would be the year that snow would fall in Konoha. Everyone was excited and the children practically bubbled with frenzy. Sasuke couldn't figure out why. If they'd been to the Land of Iron like he had then they definitely wouldn't be so happy about the onslaught of freezing sleet and slippery ice. Hinata told him that most likely his memory of snow was being coloured by his rather melodramatic experience in the Land of Iron.

Pshh.

"Melodramatic? You should talk Ms. I'm not afraid to die protecting you because I love you." He muttered as he finished sweeping the last of any sawdust remains into a dustpan. From the corner of his eye he saw Hinata's face pale at the mention of her long ago confession to Naruto. "Yeah, you're not the only one who's heard stories." Then he saw her face redden in what was most likely due to annoyance and shame. She took a deep breath to smooth her ruffled feathers before she brought over the garbage bag for him to pour the refuse into it.

For a moment they simply stood in the hisashi staring up at the strong wooden pillars that they had polished to a fine hew just that evening. A sudden gust of wind blew in from the front door and windows that were still open, blowing up Hinata's hair into Sasuke's face. She moved to pull it away, but he was quicker and he grabbed the end of her locks in his right hand. The next moment something odd happened or at least that's how Sasuke would have described it. It was only a fleeting moment, but there seemed to be an instance of shared intimacy between them in that short space of time when they both looked at each other, both of them holding onto her hair, never breaking eye contact. He loosened his grip and her hair fell from his hand slowly, like water pouring out of his palms.

It was odd, he would have said. It was awkward as hell, she would have said. She started to stutter, not even sure what she was going to say.

He moved and went into the kitchen, leaving her with her low volume, high pitched noises; all the while wondering why just now was so peculiar between the two of them. He determined that he'd file it away for future reference. When he returned she was sitting at the genkan slipping on her shoes.

"Where are you going?"

"Umm…I'm heading home." She didn't turn back to look at him. He was standing on the shikidai, the step right behind her.

"Hn."

"You should too, Sasuke-san. You haven't eaten all day."

"Well I was going to make a hotpot on the irori."

She turned to look up at him. "I thought you said that you didn't cook?"

"I did say that, but it doesn't mean that I don't know how."

She conceded that he had a point.

"You were going to have dinner here then?"

"Hn. Payment for your services today."

"Payment in hotpot. At least genin are paid with actual money." She smiled her watery smile.

"Greedy Hyuuga-hime."

She smiled a bit warmer now.

"You know, now that I've thought about it, you could move in here full time." She stood up. He was always taller than her and with her standing in the genkan and he on the first step looking down at her, she looked like a little child with her eyes lit up in excitement for this big move in his life.

"I can't. I still have to fix the indoor bathrooms. The plumbing is still in a bit of a mess. There's only the outdoor bathroom."

"Hmm. Bathing under the stars..."

"As romantic as that sounds," He said sarcastically, "it's freezing, in case you forgot."

"Hmm. Well I guess you could do it the old-fashioned way and use water from the well at the back and heat it up."

"I'm only going through that trouble if I had Naruto's clones to help me do all the heavy lifting." At the mere mention of her ex-husband's name, Hinata seemed to shrivel into herself. It was a quick look in her eyes, those frost-covered eyes that mirrored the quality of a winter's chill and stillness. It was a subtle shutting down, a closed-off look that he knew all too well. How often had/has he done that when Itachi was mentioned by someone?

"Anyway, I'd better get going. I'll see you around, Sasuke-san."

"I'll walk with you. I might as well head back to the apartment."

She waited patiently while he put on his shoes and closed the front door. The moon was hidden behind the clouds tonight so the path was dark. They walked up the stone pathway, the cold eating away at any skin that wasn't covered; the wind howled in the trees. She stopped suddenly.

"I don't want to go home." She said in a small voice. Sasuke waited patiently for her to elaborate. "I'm expected home tonight because Hanabi wants to throw me a nice dinner since today is my birthday, but the truth is…I'm just not really in the mood."

He was surprised to learn that today was her birthday and she chose to spend all day with him working on the house instead of doing whatever it is she usually did on a day like that.

"You don't want to be with your family today? Are you sure?"

She nodded morosely.

"It's just…" Easier being with you because you don't force me to be happy or be anything, she finished in her mind. "…and I feel really guilty because she's trying so hard, but I…" He wondered if she knew that she didn't finish any of her sentences.

Sasuke was silent for a while, but Hinata had learned to be patient with him, that he was simply thinking. Meanwhile, he was wondering what advice to give her. He knew that if it were him that he'd want to duck out of any parties too. How many parties had Team 7 dragged him to and he was worse than miserable from start to finish? How many parties had he skipped and felt absolutely relieved that he wasn't there? How many people could he tolerate now because of all of those parties he was forced to attend? But Hinata wasn't him. She clearly didn't handle guilt well, no matter the form it came in. Yet he knew exactly what she was going to say when he made his suggestion.

"You shouldn't disappoint your sister. She has worked hard."

"I don't want to go." Her voice was almost a whisper.

Yes, he knew that she was going to say that. Like the frost on the ground, her stubbornness was like a delicate, crystalline veneer of ice.

"Come on, let's walk."

He turned back down the walkway and she followed. They walked in silence until they came upon the farmhouse again. This time they didn't go back inside, instead he led her to the back of the house where they sat on some logs and watched the lights of other farmhouses flicker in the distance. He built a fire (this time he used matches) and they sat contentedly for while in silence watching the dancing flames. Suddenly she asked,

"What kind of hotpot were you planning on making tonight?"

"Nothing fancy. Just some shabu shabu nabe."

"You have the beef?"

"Hn. Let's go inside."

Sasuke put out the fire before they headed inside. Hinata, feeling grateful to him tonight, offered to cut the vegetables and beef. However, when she went to the kitchen, she found a few bowls, two plates, two Styrofoam cups and about four pairs of chopsticks, but no knives.

"Umm, Sasuke-san, where are the knives?" She shouted from the kitchen as he busied himself with lighting the irori.

"I don't have any. Use your kunai."

"Umm…" She was closer to him now as she handed him a small pot of water that he placed on the fire. He looked up at her curiously. She looked nervous and uncomfortable. "My weapons need to sharpen."

He was confused now, but said nothing, only wordlessly pulling out a kunai and passing it over the flame to sterilize it before he handed it to her. She smiled, but her eyes said something to him. He saw that look again in her eyes – that chill. What was that about?

"Well let me sharpen your weapons in the meanwhile." She paused, as if turning over every way she could politely refuse, but eventually she capitulated. She turned over her weapons and hurried off to the kitchen.

Instantly, Sasuke noticed one thing: All of her kunai and shuriken couldn't cut a soft cheese on a hot day. They were that dull.

She came back a little while later balancing the five bowls and a couple pairs of chopsticks. One bowl had finely cut razor-thin slices of beef, another had some chopped vegetables and a third had a thick sauce. She sat down opposite him at the irori and started babbling immediately as she handed him an empty bowl.

"Oh great! The water's boiling. I found some sesame seeds and soy sauce so I just whipped up a quick sesame seed sauce. We don't have any ponzu sauce and that really makes shabu shabu, but we'll just have to make do. It's not like –"

"Why are your weapons so dull? Haven't you been training?"

"I haven't had the time to sharpen them." She avoided his eyes as she passed him a bowl and chopsticks. She added some sake and salt to the water, mumbling about not having kelp.

"Hinata look at me."

The sternness of his voice forced her to look up at him.

"It's not safe for you to be walking around with dull weapons. Why are your tools in such a state? You shouldn't be going on missions if your tools are in this condition. Why are they like this?"

She was staring blankly at him. He waited patiently for her answer. But she wasn't hearing him. Her mind was far away, two years ago on her birthday. You've stopped me from going on missions. Is it because you don't trust me? Her own voice echoed in her head. She shook her head. She could practically see Naruto in front of her.

"Hinata?" Sasuke grew concerned. Her eyes were closed and she was shuddering. She kept shaking her head as if trying to get rid of mosquito. She seemed frozen in some sort of loop in her mind. He got up and stooped next to her. He called her name softly, careful not to touch her.

"Hinata. Hinata, listen to me. Hinata."

She was hearing him. He noticed that she was employing a breathing exercise. When she calmed down she turned to him, her eyes lowered.

"S-S-Sasuke-san. I'm truly sorry."

"You apologize too much."

"Today is not just my birthday. It was also my anniversary and…the day that I asked Naruto-kun for a divorce."

It occurred to Sasuke that Hinata might still be in love with Naruto and he felt a strange sensation at this. It was like someone had kicked him in the chest forcing his heart to drop to his stomach. And it was then that Sasuke realized he was attracted to Hinata.

This was new to him. He'd never seriously been attracted to anyone before. In life he could note that some girls were pretty or sexy and that men would find them desirable, but that was always done in an objective sort of way. Never before had he been dragged into the desire of flesh. But he knew it was more than lust. Clearly it had to be. Her eyes were puffy and red and she insisted on wearing that cat-lady green jacket and baggy blue pants that effectively likened her shape to a sack of potatoes. No, it was an attraction that ran deep he realized and it hadn't only just started. It had been brewing for months, bubbling right under the surface of his mind. It wasn't just a physical lust; it ran deeper than that.

He stood up suddenly at this revelation and turned to go. When he was out the door he realized that she hadn't even called after him.

Loud crying could be heard before Naruto even answered the door. When he did, Sasuke could see that there was a Naruto holding a baby and another Naruto sitting on the couch using his foot to keep the bouncer going that held another baby.

"Where's Saskura?"

"I think she may have left me."

"What?" Sasuke asked in confusion when he was handed Ryuichi. Naruto dispelled his clone. The little boy wailed and wiggled in Sasuke's grip.

"We had a quarrel. She said that she wasn't just the babysitter to my children and walked out. I tried to stop her."

"Are you serious? She's left you?"

"No, actually she just said that she needed a break. She's at her mother's."

"Oh."

"But it feels as if she left me. We had a really, really bad quarrel."

Sasuke suddenly remembered what Hinata said and realized why what was most likely a minor quarrel had Naruto feeling like his world was about to end…again.

"Why are they crying? Did you try using a clone that looks like Sakura?"

"I did. Ryuichi is just a bit gassy. Teinosuke is miserable because he can't sleep because big brother keeps waking him up." Naruto looked up at him. It was a clear cry for help.

It took about an hour, but finally the boys went to sleep in their bouncers. They looked very peaceful and quite cute and not at all like the screaming little hellions that they were an hour ago.

"Ay man, I really appreciate it. How did you know that I needed the help?"

Sasuke shrugged. He didn't come over for that and he was a bit unsure of how to breach the topic without being told to mind his own business as usual, but in the end he decided frankness was the best policy.

"Tonight is Hinata's birthday." Sasuke said as Naruto got up to put the dirty baby bottles in the sink. Sasuke could see him from his position on the couch as the house had an open floor plan for these two rooms.

"I know. Did you spend it with her?" Naruto asked. His back was to Sasuke, so the hardened expression was missed.

"Not really."

Naruto turned to face him at the cryptic answer.

"She's…she's in a state. She said that she had asked you for a divorce two years ago tonight." Naruto looked annoyed.

"Yeah I remember."

"Is that why you're acting like this; because you and Sakura had a quarrel and you think that's how it's going to end?"

Naruto leaned on the counter that acted as a divider between the kitchen and dining area and living room.

"I was simply trying to talk to her." Sasuke wasn't sure which 'her' was being referenced. "I just wanted to talk to her, but things got so out of hand. I was blindsided. I didn't know that she already had that thought in her mind." Oh that her. "Up to this day I go over that conversation in my head and wonder where I went wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"I came home with cake for her birthday. It was a cinnamon roll cake that I had especially made. I was desperate to try anything to get her to just smile a bit again. Did you know that she has a really gorgeous smile?" Sasuke knew that that may have factored into why he teased her so much. He had done that with no other woman; no other person really.

"You've stopped me from going on missions. Is it because you don't trust me?"

"It was such an out of the blue question. I'd stopped her from missions at least two months now and she had agreed to it. She was sitting on the bed in the dark in our bedroom. When I had put on the light she looked awful, like she'd been crying. She has a really ugly cry face."

Sasuke nodded. He agreed that Hinata's cry face was not the prettiest.

"It's not because I don't trust you."

"It's not?"

"Look at us. We have no trust in each other. We're not the same anymore."

"We shouldn't be together anymore."

"What?! That's not what I meant. It's not what I want."

"I don't want to be with you anymore."

"She was speaking so calmly. She was set in this idea." Sasuke nodded again. He knew her stubbornness well.

"Hina, let's be honest here. Let's talk about everything honestly."

"Okay. You blame me. I made a mistake and you blame me. You don't see me as the same person anymore. And we do not trust each other."

"That's not true. I have been trying. I've not been blaming you at all. I want us to move on from this. I've been begging you to move on from this. I want us to eventually have another child. We can move on this. We can still have it all – a loving family and be successful as a Hokage and the head of the Hyuuga Clan. It is hard to hear, but there is life after such a tragedy."

"It is so easy for you to move on?"

"It is not! Is that what you think? I'm trying. At least I am trying."

"I know that you just want it all. You want to save the day and be the perfect Hokage and get the perfect girl and have the perfect family. The perpetual screw-up has screwed up your plans to show them all, to show your past that you've moved on and your life is perfect and you have it all."

"That's not true. I just want us to move on from this. It was an accident. No one is to blame. You need to accept that."

"Have you?

"What?"

"You act so chipper around me, telling me that I need to move on, but have you really forgiven me? You have what I've done somewhere in your mind and in your heart. It's eating away at you. You want me to make up for what I've done. I feel suffocated! You are stifling me!"

"Stop it."

"You are stifling me! I want you to leave."

"You're feeling suffocated? I must watch you struggle to keep this burden all on yourself. Why don't you let me in? You're not the only one that lost. I try, I really do, but you're in too deep. I have to watch my words around you."

"Well you don't have to anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I want a divorce."

"And just like that…" Naruto shrugged as he continued. He moved to the fridge to have a beer. He threw one at Sasuke who caught it deftly. He didn't open it though. He had said that he wasn't going to drink again.

"Do you really think that she thinks that I didn't care?" Naruto sat back next to Sasuke on the couch. In a perverse way he was actually kind of glad that Sasuke was getting close to Hinata, only because he served as another avenue to get some answers.

Sasuke was quiet for a while. His foot was absently rocking baby Teinosuke's bouncer. Both children had Naruto's wild, blond hair.

"To the world it may seem so." Naruto said nothing, only continued to sip on his beer. "She pushed you away because she thought that she was dragging you down in her suffering. And then…" Sasuke didn't finish his sentence, only making a wide gesture that encompassed all of Naruto's present life. He wondered who had it worse. Was it Hinata, the tortured martyr that life couldn't cut a break, furthering her belief that she got was she deserved, that her guilt was justified? Or was it Naruto, the one who was pushed away and kept being blessed with things that he felt he didn't deserve, further sharpening his guilt? Everyone judged Naruto as the bastard. Everyone pitied Hinata.

Sasuke let out a small huff of laughter. Naruto looked at him quizzically. "It's a cold day in hell when I'm the well-adjusted one."

Naruto stared at him and then started laughing. Sasuke couldn't help smiling too.

Then in walked Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun?"

Sakura looked at the happy scene before her – her boys sleeping peacefully in their bouncers and her other boys sitting on the couch smiling happily. She couldn't help but smile.

"Would you like something to eat?"

Sasuke wondered what to do. Despite the smile, he knew that Naruto was deeply unhappy. But so was Hinata.

Sasuke stood up. "No, I…I have dinner waiting at home for me."

Sakura gave him a confused look. He had dinner waiting at home? Eh?

He wasn't really expecting her to still be there by the time he made his way back to the farmhouse despite his words to Sakura. He was pleasantly surprised however, to see that she was. She had fallen asleep near the irori, the bowls covered down next to her. As soon as he stepped into the genkan, she woke up, sitting up a bit.

"Why didn't you go home?" He asked as he sat next to her.

"Why did you leave suddenly like that? Did I upset you?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Me too."

The windows were left open again and the inside of the house was freezing and windy. Her hair blew up into his face again. He held it in his hand again, but this time she didn't try to stop him. In a moment he decided on a bold move. He leaned in and tucked her hair behind her ears. Her eyes widened in shock, but she never broke eye contact. He slowly pulled away.

There it was again.

He recognized it now for what it was. She may still be in love with Naruto. And Naruto may still be grieving over how things ended between them. But Sasuke finally recognized what this was between them. It was potential.

A/N: More on Sakura and Naruto next week, as well as more awkward SasuHina interaction – very awkward. Review please!