The Baked, Pathetic, and Tasty Noodles

I grinned at the pot of boiling water; I had been waiting a half an hour for the thing to come to a boil. Nobody had put an emphasis on eating in the construction of this place that I called home. Apparently with a tight budget, getting a quick heating up stove top wasn't on the top of the to-do list.

Ripping open the colorful package, I dumped in the dried noodles. The water frothed in complaint. Five minutes. That's all I needed to wait before my stomach would be full.

"What are you doing?" I didn't have to think who that voice belonged. Didn't the Espada have something better to do then to watch my every single move?

I didn't look behind me to reply. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing my annoyed face. Instead I watched a giant bubble explode in the center of the quickly thawing noodles.

"I'm making some dinner," I replied in when I felt like it.

"You are being wasteful. Your prepared dinner will be ready in an hour."

I looked closely over my shoulder at the taller person, "If you didn't know, my 'prepared dinner' stinks like old fish and tastes about the same. And it's the same thing every day."

"Baked…dry…tasteless noodles in a plastic bag are better than the food the Lord Aizen provides for you?" He watched the noodles twitch a bit in the water.

Revealing the tiny, brightly colored packet in my hand, I grinned. "You've never had ramen have you? I have to put in the favor. This is chicken flavor. It's quite good."

"I do not believe that."

"Fine, don't," I drew out a chopstick from a drawer and tested to see how far the noodles had cooked, "if you stick around, I'll let you have a bite."

I didn't think that he would accept. Actually, it was a way to get him out of my way. Lowly human food was beyond him. Well, I meant that tea was about the only human thing that he would even admit to have a connection with. Even for that, you had to strangle it out of him.

I lifted the chopstick, the noodles pulled and stretched like white worms, completely intending for it to look gross and completely uneatable.

"I will try it," The noodles fell back in with a spoolsh. Ulquiorra took a seat and put on one of his emotionless faces.

I was speechless. I didn't even have a single smart-alecky response in my mind. Silently, I drained out the water and added the contents of the package. Dumping the long noodles into two bowls, I set the stuff in front of the Espada and went to sit in the other seat.

"Who said you could dine at the same table as an Espada?" Ulquiorra asked calmly.

I sat down in the chair anyways, "The Arrancar that just slaved over your dinner."

"That does not give you areason to sit here," He sighed.

I shoved my chopsticks in my dish and rounded up some of the noodles, "you are not going to win this one Ulquiorra. This is the kitchen and anything is fair game in here. Just try the noodles already."

The Espada looked skeptically down at the food and poked it. Carefully taking his chopstick, he wound some of it up and ate it. Or, you I say that this would have happened if we weren't talking about ramen noodles.

The wrapping part went over fine. It was when he tried to shove it in his mouth that he had problems. The noodles stretched and wiggled as they left the bowl. They slogged up and plastered themselves down Ulquiorra's chin. A white beard formed. His eyebrows scrunched up as he realized the wet noodles of a mess that was hanging out of his mouth.

I was barely holding back laughter.

It was the uncharacteristic slurp that did it.

I fell out of my chair howling.

"Enough," Ulquiorra pushed his way out of the chair and stood. I tried my best but ended up coughing.

"It's just too funny," I smiled as I sat up.

"I said enough, your futile attempts to humiliate me with awful noodles are not going to work," he turned and left without another word.

Slowly I picked myself up and went back to eating the ramen. They weren't half bad, too bad that Ulquiorra didn't like them. Ah well, the less the merrier in my opinion.

Thanks to TheCrimsonKiss, IControlAllYaoi, Meggy, Winter 'neechan, & DemonColours for reviewing! Also thanks to Rose202 for betaing and kindly reminding me that Sola and Ulquiorra do NOT live in American and use chopsticks instead of forks. :)

I really like ramen noodles, I would eat them every day if I could. I know this wasn't the chapter that I said that I would post this week...but things happened and this is what I had. You know how that one goes, yes? I just realized that I am posting two food related chapters together...oh well. You probably didn't even know that until I said something, right?

Review?

-Quin

Kubo Tite=Ulquiorra and company Quinhywvar=Sola, yes?