The Copy Ninja - Part 2

A Choice Between Death and Death

Never again, I told him. Never again, I told myself. How many times can never again happen? When did my promises lose all meaning? When did this anger start? Have I always hated the world as much as I hate it right now?

Somewhere in the shadows a puppeteer wielded an army of undead shinobi. In life some had been heroes, some villains. Mostly it depended on whose side you were fighting. Now they were tools of death. So what, really, had changed? Somewhere else a megalomaniac plotted to destroy this pitiful reality. And for a moment, maybe just a moment, maybe just a brief eternity, Kakashi understood exactly where these vainglorious psychopaths were coming from. That made him angriest of all.

'…The Eight- and Nine-Tails were protected successfully, but we suffered a casualty…'

Tell me, Kakashi thought, when isn't there a casualty? When will the day come that something is saved without something else being sacrificed? Will there ever really be a choice between good and bad? Will there ever be a road not ending in death? Never again, he'd said, over and over, hoping that someone else might believe it for him. Never again, he'd promised. And the memory played on, and the beast inside grunted and twitched, restless in his long sleep.

Eyes like lead shutters. Deadbolt locked. A body carved from steel. Underwater. Bones like broken glass. Lava where blood should be. Mixed metaphors stabbing like icepicks into the sheer cliff-face of his exploding head. One day, he decided, this is going to get easier. One day I'll return from a mission and – no, just that. One day I'll return from a mission. Not broken, bloody scraps of me. Not my unconscious body. Not an empty shell where a human used to be. Me. Whole. But not, it seems, this time.

Apart from the perpetual mosquito-pitched whine, which in lieu of actual memories told him that the bandages around his head were probably justified, all was abnormally silent. No instruments beeped to tell him whether he was alive or dead. No mechanical pumps churned air through his lungs. No one was poking him or checking his pulse. I guess I'm home then. Either that or I never made it back.

He focused one eye on his hand. The bandages looked fresh. Then I must be at home. People didn't normally treat their enemies after injuring them. Unless, of course, they were planning to injure them again. He reached out and flicked on his lamp. The glass of water by his bed toppled apologetically to the floor, where it smashed. Shit. Do I even own a lamp?

He lay back in the darkness and counted to ten. He opened his eyes. He felt the wire hanging by his fingertips. He probed for the switch. The room exploded.

Reality, he reasoned, tends to exist primarily in the mind of the beholder. Genjutsu was proof enough of that. Somebody's set off a bomb. Apparently I'm the only one who's noticed. He flicked the light shut. That's better, he thought, that's a lot better.

Time passed in the darkness. He pieced together, at length, who he was. After that the rest came fairly quickly. First he remembered where he'd gone, then he remembered who he'd gone with, then finally he remembered with whom he'd returned. The penny dropped. From a great height. Sharpened. He ripped off his covers and jumped to the floor. By the time his brain had caught up to his reflexes it was too late.

He watched passively as his body swayed, then slumped, then crumpled. His senses were like the buzzing of distant flies. Mildly annoying but not really his immediate problem. The intoxicating, sweet taste of blood was in someone else's mouth. Shit, he thought, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. The coprophilic mantra repeated, stifling any more enlightened thoughts. Only when his mind was almost entirely unencumbered by consciousness did the underlying message manage to frame itself.

I went with Tenzo. I came back alone.

"Clearly they made a mistake, discharging you from the hospital so soon."

They didn't discharge me, Kakashi managed not to say, I discharged myself, through a window.

"You would have died on that mission. It was pure luck that the patrol squad found you."

Luck certainly. But which sort? Maybe I'm just as disappointed as you are that that mission didn't finish me off. No, probably not.

"In any case, Hatake, reporting for duty now is absurd. Even if I was willing to give you a mission, I would have to answer to the Hokage."

Yes, and we all know how much that prospect intimidates you.

"Besides, there's another task for which your unique skills are required."

Of course there is. I don't remember any mention of my unique skills when you sent me and Tenzo off to die.

"There is a new recruit that requires training. A kunoichi of the Uzuki clan. She will be your new student."

I already have a student you fetid, ferret-phallused infantophile.

He said, "Lord Danzo, I'm not sure if you entirely understand. I didn't come asking for a mission. I came to tell you that I already have a mission and I intend to finish it."

"That mission is over, Hatake. You failed. You were outnumbered and frankly outclassed."

Pain was spreading up Kakashi's right arm. He looked down at the bandages covering his clenched fist, and the four spots of red spreading out over each of his knuckles.

"They have Tenzo."

"The ANBU Operative formally code-named Tenzo is dead, Hatake. He's fallen into enemy hands. Protocol dictates that he take his own life before they begin to torture him for information. If he has failed in this respect then even if you succeed in bringing him back he will stand trial before the ANBU tribunal as a traitor. The punishment for betrayal is death."

Death: the punishment for not wanting to die. No wonder only the psychotic and the suicidal joined the ANBU.

Whatever emotions were boiling away deep inside Kakashi's mind, he kept them there. "I believe the ANBU rule book also states that an ANBU Operative is bound to obey their Captain's orders to the letter. Any violation of the ANBU Code carried out as a direct result of the Captain's instructions is the Captain's responsibility alone."

Another way to minimise the number of ANBU legislatively permitted to think for themselves.

"Are you implying, Hatake, that you gave your subordinate a direct order not to take his own life?"

The fact of the matter was Kakashi couldn't remember what the hell he'd said. He was pretty sure he'd screamed something along the lines of 'Touch my Kohai and I'll fucking kill you,' before being hit in the back of the head by what may conceivably have been an iron girder. However he had had a brief conversation with Tenzo near the beginning of their acquaintance in which he had patiently explained why each ANBU was provided with a standard-issue cyanide capsule. And how if this capsule had not found its way into the sewage system via the nearest available toilet within the next twenty-four hours, he would personally ensure that Tenzo spent the following twenty-four hours occupying said toilet, trying to dislodge the capsule from where it'd been quite forcibly shoved.

"More or less, my lord, yes."

Danzo, for a blessed few moments, was speechless.

Kakashi took advantage of this while he still had patience left to speak. "The current situation is entirely my responsibility, my lord. As such, I intend to deal with it personally. If you would like to accuse me of treason for, would this be the fifth time? I suggest that you file your complaint with the Hokage immediately. That way he'll probably get around to reading it at some point over the next few weeks. In the meantime, I've been sentenced to one month of medical leave. As of tomorrow you will find me recuperating somewhere close to the border of Kusagakure. If you send a squad to track me down, you'd better send them prepared to fight. This mission isn't over until the Hokage sees my report. And that report will not come into existence until it can be filed under 'Success'. I hope that we understand each other."

And that, as they say, was that. The ANBU Wolf, no, the Copy-Ninja did not leave a comrade behind. Maybe one of these days he'd get the hang of rescuing his friends before they got captured.

Kakashi remembered that thought. That feeling that at least he could make things right. Back when choices had been real and promises worth more than the empty air into which they were breathed. Never again, he'd sworn. Sworn on what? His honour? His life? The lives of those he cared about? Ha! No wonder his word wasn't worth shit anymore.

The mist was clearing. The dead stared at him with cold, empty, powerless eyes. 'My brother,' they seemed to say. The line drew closer. And in his hand, the butcher's blade grew heavy.