Its about 7pm and I'm still next to Christian on his bed. He's holding my hand and is lightly running his thumb across it.
"I know you hate being asked this, and I've tried really hard not to ask you today," I utter softly. "But.. How are you feeling? Are you okay?" I ask glancing up at him and he smiles knowingly. I melt.
"I know you've been itching to ask me that all day Ana," he smirks and oh how I love him. "But in answer to your question, I feel better, I honestly do, I bet I look like shit though Mrs Grey, I dread to think. One thing's for sure Ana, you wont have to worry about women hitting on me for a while." he winks and I laugh and kiss his cheek.
"You could never look bad Mr Grey, your face is always perfect, even if you are a little paler than normal," and he smiles that shy smile and then scoffs. "Okay you look like a ghost, but your still hot as hell." I continue and he grins.
"So you still want me Mrs Grey?" he says trailing his fingers down my leg.
"Christian, I will never ever stop wanting you." I confess and he smirks.
The next thing I know Taylor comes rushing through the door and we both look up.
"Mr Grey, I hope I'm not interrupting, its just I have some important news," he says rapidly and he looks stressed.
"Not at all, go on Taylor." Christian says.
"Well its been driving me crazy that we couldn't find that bastard, and I started to think the name that the bar guy gave me sound familiar. But I couldn't put my finger on why. So I did some research and anyway I'm sure you'll remember the incident about 6 months ago, with that cheeky fucker who broke into your office and then went awol. Bernini. His name was Malcolm Bernini. Now I know his name wasn't Malcolm, it was in fact Troy. But I drew up his file and guess what his middle name is.
"Malcolm," me and Christian say together and he looks at me proudly. Jeeez I'm not a idiot.
"So I think I've found our man Sir," he states formally.
"Thank god. I cant believe it. We have that many threats I never even considered that for a second." Threats I think. He never tells me about any threats. I'll have to question him about this when he's recovered. I feel him look at me guiltily and I think back to that eventful night. I shudder at the thought. "Have you tracked him down?" Christian asks.
"Not yet but now I have a lead, I'm sure it wont be long before we have that fucker locked away in a cell for attempted murder." Taylor says aggressively.
"I can't believe it was him, I thought you said he'd left town. Not turned into a stalker who tried to murder my husband. Is he that angry he got fired!, I ask and I find this whole incomprehensible.
"I've never even met the bastard, he wouldn't of got fired if he didn't break into my office, I think I let him off lightly! "Christian says angrily. "He fucking deserved everything he got."
I genuinely cant believe this and I cuddle closer to Christian's side, this is truly unbelievable. The only reason I know about this whole incident is because Christian had no choice but to tell me. That was a god damn horrible night, I practically worried myself into a early grave because of the man sat next to me. The only other time I've seen him so drunk is when I told him I was pregnant with Teddy.
I look at the clock and it's 8.45pm. Christian said he was going to be late but this is getting ridiculous. The next thing I know I hear the front door slam and I leave the kitchen and run into the hallway, to greet my husband. I run up to him and attempt to wrap my arms around him but he shrugs me off.
"Not now Ana," he mutters taking off his jacket and throwing it on the small table beside him.
"Baby, what's wrong? I thought you were never going to get home, its almost.." I state warily and he cuts me off.
"I know what fucking time it is Ana," he says walking into the kitchen swiftly.
I almost retreat upstairs but stupidly decide to follow him into the kitchen.
"Are you okay?" I ask watching as he aggressively pulls out his phone and keys from his pocket and throws them onto the kitchen side.
"I'm hungry, I'm tired and I've had a fucking shit day, so no I'm not okay." he states but doesn't look at me.
"Well, your home now, we could…." I begin.
"Just leave it Ana, " he says and I can hear the angry undertone to voice. Someone has clearly thrown his toys out of the pram and is determined to have a tantrum.
"Well I guess I'll just go to bed" I sigh, "Perhaps you could join me if you decide to get your head out of your ass."
I'm laying on my side of the bed with my eyes closed when I hear the door go. I can hear Christian shuffling about as he gets undressed. I feel the bed go down as he climbs in, and I am tempted to turn around and see if his mood has improved but then I decide against it. Probably best to leave him to brood. My mind is working overtime and I just cant seem to fall asleep so about half a hour later when I hear Phoebe screaming on the baby monitor I am still wide awake.
"Fucks sake, I'm so sick of this," my husband mutters pulling the cushion from under his head and covering his ears. I feel the anger spike inside of me, why is he being such an ass.
"Sick of what Mr Grey. Your daughter? Our family?" I reply and he turns his head to look at me as I swing my legs over the bed to go see our baby girl.
"Sick of this! I just want some peace for once in my life Ana." he says bitterly putting his hands in the air for emphasis.
I can feel the tears encroaching my eyes as my husbands looks at me coldly.
"Well thank you Christian at least I know how you really feel about us," I say wiping my eyes.
"Oh Ana, stop overreacting," he says. overreacting!?
"Christian you just informed me you are 'sick of this,' whatever that means, so excuse me if I feel a little hurt. "
"I cant deal with this right now, "he says getting out of bed.
"What are you doing?" I ask as I see him start to put on the clothes he has just taken off.
"Well it seems I'm not going to get the sleep I want here, so I'm going out."
"Where are you going?" I feel rise the panic inside of me.
"I don't give a shit right now Ana. Just out," he states not making eye contact.
"Well that will really solve everything wont it Christian. Running away. Well done," I say sadly.
He finishes putting on his clothes and walks out of our bedroom without another word. I hear him bang down the stairs and go straight out the front door. The next thing I hear is the car speeding away from our house. I wipe the tears from my eyes and feel like I've just been hit by the high speed train that is my husband. I walk to check on Phoebe who is still crying and when she stops I put her back down and I walk back to our bedroom and sit on the bed. I hate it when Christian goes out angry, he doesn't think clearly, anything could happen to him.
I reach for my phone and ring him, but he doesn't answer.
"Christian, I know your angry, and you've had a horrible day and I'm sorry. But please come home, I don't like it when you go out angry, I'm worried about you, I love you baby. Please come back." I sit on my bed and wait until I get sick of staring at the walls and go downstairs. As soon as I enter the kitchen I see Christians phone on the side where he left it when he got in. Great he definitely won't get my message then.
The fact he doesn't have his phone makes me worry even more. I think about calling Grace to see if he's gone there but by now its 1am and its not fair to wake and worry them over nothing.
I sit at the kitchen counter staring into space for god's knows long. I wish he'd come home, I wont be able to rest till I know he's safe even if that means staying up all night. I get myself upset and go upstairs to check on my babies. I go into each of there rooms and they are sleeping peacefully. I hope to god I never have to tell them daddies gone and he's never coming back. I will god damn kill Christian if he ever does anything to put himself in danger.
I go back downstairs and sit on the sofa staring into space. Eventually I look at the clock. It's 4.50am. I know it sounds stupid but I'm tempted to switch the TV on and flick through the news channels and see if my stubborn husband has crashed into a tree in a rage, but I know I'm being ridiculous and he's probably at his mom and dad's fast asleep by now.
Its 5.55am when I hear it.
"Shit." I hear a voice echo from outside and I'm certain its Christian but I know I didn't hear his car.
I run to the door and open it, not caring if it's a burglar, and in the distance I can see my husband bent over the flowers. He honestly looks like he is gardening , what in the world is he doing I wonder. I look for the nearest shoes which happens to be his slippers. They are way to big for me but I run outside in them anyway quickly slipping on my coat as I go. It's the middle of winter and it's bloody freezing out.
"hereeee" he slurs as I run at him, great he's drunk. At least I know where he's been. "Flowers to say I'm sorry," and he hands me some battered flowers he has just pulled up from the garden and I smile slightly putting one of my hands on his arms.
"Shit. Christian your absolutely freezing, come on lets get you inside before you get pneumonia," I say as I rub my hand up and down his arm in a pathetic attempt to warm him up. He's just in his shirt, as when he stormed out of the house, he didn't even bother to take his jacket, or phone for that matter.
"I got lost," he mumbles as we walk towards the door which is difficult as I'm basically carrying his weight. As we reach the door, I reach for his jacket on the small table inside and put it over his arms for temporary warmth.
"Where's your car Christian?" I ask putting my hands on his face, he's so cold, god knows how long he's been outside.
"I lost it," he smirks "left it" he corrects himself.
"What do you mean you lost it?" I ask he isn't making any sense
"I was driving and all I could hear in here," he points to his head. "Was you," he points to me." Saying, "get out of the fucking car Christian." He pathetically attempts to put on his best girl voice, waving his arms about.
"Christian were you driving like this?" I ask shocked and he nods seemingly unaware of the seriousness of what he has done in his drunken state.
"Christian your lucky you weren't killed, are you that dumb!?" I cry! Beating him on the chest. "What would we do without you. Why would you risk your life like that! What if you had crashed, no one would have had any idea where you were! Or you could have been arrested!" My husbands stupidity has no bounds and I hug him tightly even more relieved he's made it back in one piece.
"Why I left the car somewhere," he says. "and walked," he continues. At least now I know why he's so cold, I'm going to kill him when he is sober.
"But I got lost," he adds casually again.
"Come here and sit down" I say and I practically drag him to the kitchen onto a stool, getting a glass of water. I pass it him but he clumsily puts it back down the side almost knocking it off and puts his hands on my face. "Ana, my sweet Ana."
I take his hands and rub them together in between mine and that's when I notice his ring is missing.
"Christian where's your wedding ring I ask?" He never ever takes it off, and I will kill him if he's lost it in some dirty bar.
He thinks for a second and then pats his shirt chest pocket.
"I put it next to my heart so you could help me find my way back to our house," he babbles incoherently and it makes no sense but I feel like crying because hes so sweet but also because I'm so angry.
"You are so stupid do you know that!" I say as I once again put my hands on his cheeks forcing him focus on me.
"I'm sorry" he says solemnly taking some of my hair in between his fingers and playing with it. He cant stop fidgeting.
"I love you so much. I've been worried sick. The only reason your still breathing right now Mr. Grey is because how much I love you is marginally outweighing how much I want to kill you for being so god damn reckless. Don't think you've heard the end of this," I mutter but I dont think he's really focusing on what I'm saying.
He laughs a bit and I smack him on the arm lightly.
"This is not one bit funny," i assert.
"My poor car," he says "a hobbit will probably steal it from me," and he laughs at his own joke but I am not amused.
"How long have you been walking," I ask and he shrugs like he's a child. "Dunno could be…," but he loses his train of thought and doesn't finish. I assume he's not feeling the cold because of how wasted he is.
"We need to get you to bed," I say. "Come on put your arm around me baby," and he does as he is told and I drag him towards the stairs.
We get half way and I swear he's gonna break my back, but I power on through, but half way up the stairs he stops and sits on the step.
"Are these stairs moving?" he asks holding his head.
"No, its just you Christian." I say and he looks truly pitiful. My foolish husband.
"Come on, you'll feel much better when your laid down," I say trying to encourage him to get up but the truth is all he'll most likely be able to see is stars.
We stumble up the stairs and when we get to our bedroom I deposit him onto the bed and he collapses hard onto it. I quickly run back downstairs and get a glass of water, immediately returning to my drunk husband.
I pull off his shoes and socks and am about to remove his clothes when he starts gagging.
"Ana, I don't feel good," and I pray he isn't sick on the carpet.
"Bathroom baby, now!" I say pulling him up and I get him to the toilet just in time. I sit on the floor with him and rub his back and look at the clock. its 6.30am. I feel like all I have done tonight is stare at the god damn clock. I take it Mr 'I go get drunk because I have thrown a tantrum' will not be making it to work today as he supposed to be getting up in a hour, but is currently throwing his guts up in the toilet looking like crap. I wonder how its possible for him to be this sick. What in the world was he drinking. He lays back onto the cold tiles and heaves. I darn't leave him as I'm scared he'll choke himself. What a way for Christian Grey billionaire extraordinaire to die. I can imagine the headline now. Christian Grey dies after choking on his own sick. Idiot.
"Ana I think I'm going to die," he moans with his head now again over the toilet.
"Do you want some water?" I say, and he shakes his head.
"I cant face anything," he says and leans against the wall nearest the toilet.
"Do you feel like getting into bed baby?" I ask softly crouching down in front of him and he shakes his head and leans forward so his head is on my shoulder.
"Do you know how silly you are husband?" and I feel him nod against me.
"Thankyou for taking care of me even though I'm a idiot," he mutters and I let my fingers run through his hair.
"Christian no matter how stupid you are, I will never not take care of you. I love you." I whisper into his ear.
"I do honestly think I'm about to die though," he groans leaning back against the tiles once more.
"Not on my watch Mr Grey, now come on, lets get you in bed." I say and put my hands out to pull him up. I drag the mess that is my husband to the bed, pull back the covers and help him take off his shirt and trousers. He gets in and lays down closing his eyes.
"Oh god, its spinning." he groans and picks up my pillow from beside him and holds it over his face.
I sit down beside him and pry it from his hands.
"I'm gonna go check on our babies, I think you should try and get some sleep." I say and I kiss him on the forehead. He nods and makes another groaning sound. I feel like shaking my head at him and stating 'self inflicted' but I wont. He feels bad enough as it is.
"I'm sorry Ana, I'm sorry you married a fuck up," he rambles and I shake my head. "I love you, we'll talk when your not looking so green in the face. Sweet dreams baby." I say and I hear him moan as I walk out of the door.
I check on the children who are still fast asleep and then call Taylor. Why I wait for him to answer I realize how tired I am. I've been awake for 24 hours straight.
"Mrs Grey, your calling early is everything okay?"
"Yes, well ish. Christian decided it was a good idea to drink himself into oblivion last night and has no idea where he left his car, I was wondering if you could find it for us. Christian tracks our cars doenst he," I tell him.
"Yes, no problem Mrs Grey, I'm sure its at one of the bars just inside town," he grumbles.
"Hmmm, lets just say he tried to drive said car home ,before realizing he was probably going to kill himself and ditching it. I think he was walking around trying to get home for hours lost so I really think the car could be anywhere." I sigh
"Is he out of his mind?!" I hear Taylor say before composing himself. "Sorry Mrs Grey I didn't mean too.. You know."
"No Taylor your right, don't worry when my sleeping beauty wakes up from his drink induced slumber I plan to make him face the consequences. " I hear Taylor stiffle a giggle.
"I'll get on to finding the car right away Mrs Grey, I'm glad he made it home in one piece."
"Me too , thank you Taylor." I look at the clock its half 7 and I am just too tired to function. I pray the children will sleep in another couple of hours so I can take a nap. I head back up to our bedroom and quietly get into bed looking over at Christian who seems to be finally asleep. I pull the quilt around me and the next thing I know I am being enveloped by my husbands arms.
"How you feeling?" I whisper, as I assume he's awake.
"Fucking horrible." he mutters. "Better now I have my wife to hold though," but he doesn't open he eyes. I hear his breathing even out and he is obviously asleep and a few moments later I drift off.
When I wake up Christian is practically suffocating me and I am melting. I'm surprised the children have slept in this long. I unwrap his limbs from around me and he groans. Me and my dear husband need to have serious words.
"No, don't go," he mutters cracking his eyes open. I sit up against the headboard with my legs stretched out and he looks up at me with a don't kill me Ana, puppy dog eyes look.
"We need to talk about what you did last night Christian." I say crossing my arms. He moves across the bed still rolled in the quilt and starts kissing the outside of my thigh.
"No, not gonna work this time baby, now sit up and stop hiding," I say shaking him off.
"What can I do to avoid this conversation Ana." he says and pulls the quilt over his head. I stand up on the bed, and yank the quilt off him and off the bed so he's completely uncovered apart from his boxers
"That's nasty wife, I'm cold now," he smirks up at me.
"You said you were sick of us." I say and watch his reaction. He sees this as his queue to do some serious ass kissing and sits up with me putting his hands on my face.
"I am not and never ever will be sick of you Ana," he says softly and I pout.
"What about Phoebe it wasn't her fault she was crying she's only a baby Christian. Are you sick of her too?" I ask him raising a eyebrow but the truth is his words hurt me.
"Ana you know full well I would give my life for my children in a heartbeat, I'm so sorry for what I said I was just so angry," and I can see the look of displeasure on his face as he thinks about it.
"Why were you angry?" I inquire and he knows to get out of the dog house he has to tell me the truth. He hesitates and then begins his story.
"When I got to work this morning I was informed that security found some fucker in my office in the early hours. They don't even know how he got in, my door has two fucking locks on as it is. Soon to be ten." I had stupidly left some business papers on my desk and apparently he had them in his bag. Now I'm going to have to revise my deals and change the details and its going to cost me a god damn fortune. I cant risk some idiot knowing anything. I hate people who try to double cross me," he rants and I kiss his nose.
"Who was he?" I ask and I understand why he was upset.
"Only a fucking employee. Worked in the IT department of my building. The nosey fuck. How dare he try and try and steal from me!" I can see how upset Christian is about this, he hates betrayal.
"Did you know him?" I ask gingerly.
"No I've never even met him. I cant even remember the bastards name. I don't want to waste my breath taking about him. I hate the thought that someone other than me, and you of course was in my fucking office."
"Did you fire him?" I ask, wondering how many questions I get before he snaps.
"That's where it gets worse, somehow the security guards holding him let him slip apparently he disappeared." he says as he does air quotes with his hands. I mean he's not Harry fucking Houdini. How did they let him leave. Taylor gave the security his name and lets just say its safe to say he will never be coming never my building ever again," I wrap my arms around his neck.
"I'm sorry baby," I sigh, "at least he didn't get away with anything." I try and reassure him.
"Yeah thank fuck. I haven't even told you the worst thing," he confesses.
"What was it," I ask and my husband launches into a rant.
"He had a fucking picture of me and you in his bag. I mean what a absolute nut job, he's obviously off his rocker. Taylor went round to his address we had listed and he lived with his mother." Christian snickers at this."Apparently he came back in the morning told his mum he was going on a trip and left. He's clearly smart getting as far away from me as he possible can, I'll give him that much credit." He sighs and takes a deep breath.
"The picture thing is weird. Why would he do that." I ask confused.
"Probably just wanted to look at my beautiful wife." Christian snarls tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "I'm the only one who gets to do that," he says like he's marking his territory.
"Thank you for being honest with me, but well next time don't take it out on me, or the children for that matter." I say and he nods. He's forgiven, for that discretion anyway. Now let me get to my next one.
"Can I please go back to my pit now, Mrs Grey?" he asks looking towards his bed and quilt on the floor and pulls a sad face that makes me smile.
"No I'm not done with you yet?" and he knows what's coming.
"Christian what the hell were you thinking!? Going out getting drunk, DRIVING. I was so worried!" I scream at him! I need to make sure I get my point across.
"I know, I'm sorry I'm a fucking idiot," he says looking down.
"Christian think of all the things that could of happened to you. You could of passed out somewhere and froze to death, i've seen stories where that happens you know! I don't even know how you managed to not crash your car! Or you could of been arrested! Your obsessed with safety yet you do that to yourself!" I'm just so furious at his recklessness.
"I know, I know, I'm a friggin hypocrite." he sighs. "Theres no excuse."
"Promise me you will never do anything like that again. No matter how mad you are." I say looking deeply into his eyes.
"I promise," he kisses me. "I'm sorry." kiss. "I love you." kiss. He pulls away. "At least I had a hot wife to take care of me when I was home." He smirks.
"I'll forgive you this time, but if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I will promptly drive you to your mothers and tell her what you've done. And I'm quite sure she wont be so forgiving. I mean drink driving Christian. You never do that again okay."
He nods and tries to kiss me again. "haa, I don't think so Mr Grey, not at least until you have brushed your teeth." and I grin, and he sinks back down to the bed and pulls up the covers.
"Cuddle me Ana." he says pouting. How can I ever refuse that gorgeous face and I happily lay back down.
Thankyou for all the reviews once again! Please keep reviewing they make me happy! I'm sorry the flashback is so long it got a little out of control! xxxxxxx