AUTHOR'S NOTE – Chapter 11 rings in the 2nd Anniversary of the Many Hearts to Tread series! Wow! I just wanted to take this time to thank my readers. Every time I get a message or a review, it makes my heart flutter with joy. Thanks so much for every great compliment that has made me speed my writing process. Even during the times when I didn't have the writing bug! Thank you, thank you, thank you! And I love you! Enjoy the 11th chapter of Cruel World.
Chapter 11
Ryan walked out of the wing of the court house as he looked around with nervousness. Already the secrecy made him feel skeptical of everyone around him. It was still some time before lunch as he quickly made his way down the stairs and started heading towards the mill to rally more men to Dwight's cause. He thought of men that made impatient comments about being fed up with Negan. The idea that Negan could have been overpowered seemed ludicrous. But he was tired of trying to fend for his family and give them the food and clothes that they needed.
As he walked towards the mill, his route went past Negan's house as he saw their leader sitting on the porch with a beer in hand. Ryan tried to avoid eye contact and could feel himself become red in the face as he almost started to hyperventilate from the overwhelming pressure. Be strong, Ryan, he thought. Everyone is counting on you.
He just stared dead panned at the sidewalk and successfully passed Negan's house. As he made the turn towards the mill, he heard Negan's front gate open and close while footsteps paced towards him. Ryan looked behind him and quickly saw Negan walking in his direction with a friendly smile and an unopened can of beer.
"Ryan, isn't it?" Negan inquired while handing Ryan the can.
"Uh, yeah." Ryan stammered. He almost felt flattered that Negan remembered his name.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Negan asked and nodded towards his house. "Step into my office and let's have a chat, alright?" Negan started walking away as Ryan was left to panic about what greeted him inside the house.
"Did I do something wrong?" Ryan asked innocently.
"Oh fuck no," Negan clarified while turning around to face him. "You just looked like you were in an awful fucking hurry to head towards the mill. I'm bored and I want to know what kind of plans you have going on today. Any kind of business that goes on in Sanctuary is worth my time, isn't it?"
"I suppose." Ryan said in a shaky voice.
"And if there is something going on that I don't know about…" Negan began while getting dangerously close to him. "I have a right to know. Don't I?"
"Why would something happen that you don't know about?" Ryan thought to ask but wasn't necessarily wanting an answer as he stared down at the ground.
"I have my suspicions." Negan revealed and put a hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Let's enjoy some beer in my office where I'm sure you can tell me all about it."
Ryan entered Negan's home and was immediately greeted by Negan who gestured for him to come into the living room. "Take a load off, soldier. How's your wife doing? Your kids holding up?" He asked nicely. Ryan was slightly shocked that Negan even knew that he had a family.
"Um, they are doing alright." Ryan said as stumbled over his words. "Sir, I don't understand why you suspect me of treason. I have served Sanctuary since I have been here without trouble." Ryan stayed standing up and was hoping that Negan would soon wave him off so he could go about his previous business.
Negan grinded his teeth but after several moments he smiled warmly. "Did you ever get a low down of what our community offers? What the other communities could offer?" Negan asked Ryan.
Ryan shook his head. "Not particularly. I was only told to join or die." He answered honestly.
Negan grinned even more upon his statement. "Nasty thing that nowadays we have to scare in order to add to our ranks. But how great would your family have lasted if you stayed outside of our walls? Answer me that." Negan tested. When Ryan shrugged while Negan scoffed and walked towards his kitchen. "You want a fucking picture painted out for you? I would love to one day see the communities work together without fighting each other. It was like that for a long time too. They gave us half of their shit and then we would protect them from herds. That was our deal and it worked. Then some shit stain comes and ruins all of that. Livestock, produce, various other shit that they find are no longer given to us. Going back on deals isn't something that should be admired, rather it should be eradicated. See, I'm not the only one who suffers on the selfishness of other communities. It's my people that go without food for months. You said you have two daughters, right?" Negan asked.
Ryan nodded as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Yeah, Lorraine and Lydia." He responded.
"Lorraine was my mother's name." Negan beamed with fondness. "Have you ever heard children cry themselves to sleep because they are starving to death?"
Ryan's lip quivered at the thought as it had been every night where his children were desperate to have more food. He couldn't respond and only nodded an answer.
"My family and I went through a rough patch. We were all still living at home and my mom remarried and had a shit load of other kids. My sister also lived with us with her son which added to the crazy. My new daddy beat the fuck out of us and was a dead beat loser. No money for food. I would hear my nephew cry every night desperate for something; anything." Negan told. "I get how bad that feels to not do anything about it."
Ryan started to wipe at the tears forming in his eyes as he stayed silent. Negan continued, "Like I was saying before, I feel like something isn't right among the ranks and I have a feeling of where it all begins. I just saw you come out of the court house which also raises my suspicions as to who it is. He's been a great soldier but his time is coming to a close and I need another man to take his place. Someone more loyal who sees the grand picture for what it is." Negan walked towards Ryan as Ryan shook at his presence. "What do you say? All you have to do is give me a name."
Ryan glanced up to Negan as he panted in fear. He knew Dwight was a better person but was unsure of his odds against Negan's forces. He contemplated that his family had a better shot at survival if Negan remained in charge. However, he didn't want to turn his back on a person that he knew was a greater man.
"All I need is a fucking name." Negan said in a friendly way while Ryan continued to feel conflicted about his future and what it would bring.
…
Sherry played with the fringe on the edge of her jacket as it was starting to fray from too much wear. She sat on the front seat of the truck with her legs on the dashboard while Carol drove the vehicle towards Hilltop. The truck was able to load the most of the items that belonged to the Alexandrian's. Everyone attempted to pack as light as they could with as little of vehicles as possible so space was limited on their journey. Most of their food was in the bed of the truck that Carol drove.
Carol rode behind everyone else as they took the long route towards Hilltop. The truck that Carol drove had to be as old as Sherry but it was one of the only working vehicles that they had. Sherry looked around the white truck as all the parts in the truck appeared to be falling off or completely gone. It ran like an old lemon and the more they drove, the bigger the distance was to the cars in front of them. It didn't worry Sherry too much since they had a walkie-talkie. They were at least able to let the people in front of them know that their car was sincerely lagging.
Sherry sensed some discomfort within the truck as a silence befell between the two women. Wondering who was going to cave first to the overwhelming silence, Sherry continued to toy with her jacket sleeve as if nothing bothered her. If Carol wanted to discuss something, Sherry was determined that she would be the first one to speak.
They drove in silence as more time passed. Carol would often glance in Sherry's direction with a light smile and then focus on the road once more. Every time that Carol did that, Sherry would look out the window to avoid eye contact. She didn't understand why she was so agitated by the attention but the stares weren't helping her nerves.
"Not a lick of sunlight, is there?" Carol commented as she looked up to the gray sky.
"What?" Sherry said breathlessly as she looked at Carol wide-eyed as if the spotlight was immediately on her before she processed exactly what Carol had even said. When she realized that Carol only mentioned weather, her face reddened at her erratic response. She decided to try and recover from her outburst and looked up to the sky. "Yeah, it's nice." She mumbled quietly and then sat back in her seat. She put her feet down from the dashboard and stared out the window in silence once more.
Carol didn't respond for another minute as she just nodded her head. Sherry couldn't fathom what was on her mind but knew it was on the tip of her tongue. She didn't understand why she feared what Carol would say to her. Many times, she discussed important conversations with Rick and Sasha. Sherry respected Carol as well; she even went as far to admit that Carol scared her. She didn't understand where the jitters came from. Carol hadn't given her any reason to be afraid once they had gotten to know each other. She had helped Sherry so much in the past.
"Did you see the flower petals on the graves before we left Alexandria?" Carol asked making light conversation once more.
"Yeah, I think Terri's boys and Jenna did that." Sherry replied while still looking out her side window. "It was a tradition that one of our old group members had in her family and she passed it onto us."
"It's a sweet sentiment." Carol acknowledged as Sherry held her breath for what was going to be said next. She didn't understand why she was able to read Carol so well. Perhaps it was Carol's uncanny knack of concern like a mother. "Has Negan beat you so hard that you passed out, Sherry?" Carol inquired out of the blue. Sherry took a sharp breath and then understood why she was scared of Carol. The older woman knew too much about her personal demons from an outward prospective and the thought unnerved Sherry.
"Yes." Sherry answered with no emotion while staring at the paved road as it flew under their car.
"How many times do you think he's hit you?" Carol asked without hesitation.
Sherry started fidgeting in her seat feeling immediately uncomfortable by the questions. "You lose track after a while." She relayed while some flashbacks presented themselves in her mind.
"Ed used to beat me after long nights of being at the bar." Carol revealed. Sherry looked to her with understanding. She didn't have to know exactly who Ed was. Sherry knew who he was by the way Carol spoke of him in a less fond manner. "I would tell my daughter to hide underneath her bed the second I heard his car pull into the driveway." Carol looked at her hands on the wheel while reliving the memory. "It's the weird things that stick with you after all the years of damage." She glanced at Sherry. "I bet you still locked the door to your bedroom at Terri's house. You didn't have to but you did it anyways. Or you remember the times where your body didn't feel so stiff all the time. When was the last time you let your shoulders just slouch down?"
Sherry tried to take a deep breath to let her body relax but it went back to being tense due to habit. "It's a work in progress." Sherry uttered and sighed. "How long has it been since Ed last beat you?" She asked knowing Carol wasn't going to be offended since she brought him up in the first place. Sherry also wanted to gauge where she was in the process stages and wondered how much longer she had to look some semblance of normal.
"He died several months after the outbreak. Maybe weeks. We didn't really keep track of the time during that first year. Everything was just based on surviving." Carol replied. "But you know something? All the years that have gone by… I still have to watch my back almost as if I'm waiting for him to come back and finish me off."
Sherry started feeling some remorse for herself as she thought of the last month outside of Sanctuary. It had been hell to think of Negan coming at any moment of the day to do the same thing that Carol had feared for her own well-being. "You don't seem that scared." Sherry challenged quietly. Truthfully, Sherry felt herself lacking in comparison.
"In my life I have discovered that people can be all sorts of emotions at once." Carol disclosed. "Some emotions are well-hidden with years of practice but they are still there underneath the surface. You grow and you become a stronger person because of it."
"You're a better person because of it?" Sherry asked.
"I didn't say better. That alludes that I'm a good person. I said stronger." Carol clarified. Sherry wasn't sure what to think of the statement but decided to keep her mouth shut. She didn't even want to know what Carol had done in the past that made her no longer a good person. "We do the things we do to take care of the ones we love. Being with people means that we have to kill for them. And if that's the price that we have to pay then we do it."
Sherry nodded in agreement as she thought of all her past kills. She couldn't say that she necessarily regretted killing them but that they were all for the betterment of her group or herself. She wanted her group to live and to receive justice for their lives when they were trapped inside such a hopeless place such as Sanctuary. None of the community members deserved to have the Saviors tie them down and keep them from the hope they had before Sanctuary invaded their livelihood.
Just then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone near the forest by the road with a gun drawn. "Carol," she warned and pointed to the source. Carol watched as more Saviors emerged from the forest and started shooting out their tires. Sherry then heard a loud pop underneath her feet as the wheel burst into multiple fragments. Carol immediately lost control of the vehicle as the car began to tip on its side. Sherry held onto whatever she could find to steady herself and watched as the world outside the truck began to careen out of its horizontal state and then quickly roll into complete chaos. Sherry shut her eyes closed as the windshield shattered and her window beside her followed suite. There wasn't any time to act as she could only hope that she would make it out of the crash alive.
The car stopped rolling as it landed on its side. Sherry slowly opened her eyes as blood spilled off her face. Where the source came from, she didn't know. She was mainly focused on her body being suspended from the ground with her seatbelt holding her into place. Sherry looked around and saw beneath her that Carol was still in the driver's seat but not responsive. Carol then glanced around in a daze as Sherry could see the left side of her face was bloodied from possibly skidding on the concrete with her shattered window. Sherry then heard voices outside of the car and knew that they weren't out of danger just yet.
Sherry let her legs drop to the side as she propped her legs around Carol's body so she could undo her seatbelt without falling in a heap on top of the wounded woman. Once Sherry was satisfied with her placement, she unbuckled the seat belt and tried to catch herself on anything to steady the out of control motion. The she bent down low above Carol as Carol started to moan in pain.
"Shh…shh…shh…" Sherry repeated as she observed Carol's side. With her hands bloodied, she quickly observed that Carol had a piece of the shifter protruding from her lower back. Sherry looked to her side to see that the shifter knob was completely missing and had broken off from the crash and was shoved into Carol's side. Sherry debated whether or not to pull it out but decided stealth was the most important thing for both of them so they could make it out alive versus giving Carol some relief. Sherry then thought of calling for some backup on the walkie-talkie but couldn't see that the device was anywhere in the cab.
"Shit, is she dead?" She heard one Savior shout to another.
"Boss won't be too happy about that, would he?" One man responded. "We're gonna be in fucking deep shit!"
Carol's eyes started rolling to the back of her head while Sherry tried to think of what to do. She looked around the cab as quietly as she could and saw Carol's assault rifle underneath her legs. Sherry closed her eyes and felt resolved about what she had to do to get herself and Carol out of their situation. She didn't enjoy killing others but knew there were times when an exception came along. She could hear feet shuffle outside of the truck as they closed in on her location slowly just in case she acted in violence.
She quietly grabbed the gun as it made a small noise while hitting the side of the dashboard. "Oh, thank Jesus!" Someone exclaimed. "At least one of them is alive. Maybe it's her."
"Well, let's collect her and take her back to the boss. You know what he said about rations being doubled." She heard. Sherry recognized that voice but couldn't exactly place who it was without a face to go by. She checked to see if the gun was loaded and was gratified to see that the magazine was completely full.
"Come out, you little bitch." A Savior boomed. "We promise to bring you back in one piece."
"Can't guarantee the same for you." Sherry muttered to herself and gave one last glance towards Carol. She hoped that she would hold out just for several more minutes while she gathered strength to take care of the Saviors that stood in their way. She popped her head out quickly from the broken window above her and then aimed her gun towards the men.
"Don't shoot!" The man shouted who Sherry had previously recognized his voice. It was the man who they saw before when they tore down Sanctuary's front gate. She remembered his name being Ryan. "Listen, Negan just wants to talk with you. I'm sure we can figure out a way that we all go back to Sanctuary peacefully and with no trouble. Think we can work something out?"
"I'm leaning towards my answer being an emphatic no." Sherry declared in a flat tone while keeping her sights on the man that was the closest to her. "I'm not going back there."
"Negan wanted us to tell you that your time with the communities is all used up." One Savior piped up. "He's summoned you back and we won't leave here without collecting his personals."
Sherry scoffed and didn't lower her gun. If she went anywhere, Carol would have been alone until the other Alexandrian's figured out that they were in distress. Sherry didn't even know when they would have been clued in at that their trip to Hilltop became more perilous.
"What do you say, Mrs. Negan?" One Savior with the mustache commented. "You ready to go back home?"
"Nope." Sherry said confidently and shot the man that was closest to her in the cheekbone as he went flying backwards from the force. The men started running away to get better cover until she ran out of ammunition. They weren't going to shoot at her for fear of hurting what Negan had wanted. They had to run to their car or behind trees as Sherry had plenty of time to kill them off before they even made it to their destination.
Sherry would shoot at the ones that were faster runners which were almost to their hiding spots as they each hit the ground running. Sherry made sure not to waste any bullets as she took calm and careful aim towards the men that threatened her. Rain started to fall while Sherry continued her rampage against the men who were hell bent on taking her back to Sanctuary.
"Fuck this shit!" One Savior yelled as he cocked his gun.
"Shit." Sherry muttered as she hid back in the truck while he opened fire. Bullet holes quickly riddled the truck's roof while Sherry stayed low and tried to shield Carol if any bullets flew through the metal. They were lucky as the bullets fell silent.
"What the fuck are you doing, Kyle?!" Ryan shouted. "The boss doesn't want her fucking dead!"
"Fuck Negan!" The Savior replied while Sherry could hear him reloading. "I'm out for myself now."
Sherry took advantage of his time fidgeting with his gun and popped back up to shot him. She got his shoulder as he fell in a heap. Sherry didn't waste any more valuable time and then shot him in the gut and then in his neck. Two men were left as they stood confused as to what they could do. Sherry stayed stalwart in her stance as they waited for whatever outcome.
"What is it that you want?" Ryan asked. "I'm sure that Negan could make you an offer that would be optimal for everyone."
"What I want is something that he can never give." Sherry revealed while pointing her gun at him.
"Negan's a reasonable man." Ryan conveyed while taking a couple steps closer. "Just please come with us and I promise that we'll come to an agreement that suits you and him."
Sherry was finished with their conversation and shot him in the chest. He fell back as Sherry climbed out of the truck while looking around to see if any other Saviors were waiting in the shadows. When she jumped out of the truck, she started walking towards Ryan while the other Savior tried to reason with her one last time.
"Listen… if you would just come with us…" The Savior said desperately while trying to walk in stride with Sherry while she stalked towards Ryan. Sherry wasn't having it and shot him twice as he yelled in agony and fell to his knees. She heard a plop behind her as he had face planted to the ground. Sherry kept her anger towards Ryan who made it seem like everything was going to be fine when she returned to Sanctuary. If only he had known.
Ryan spit out some blood as he stood on all fours trying to recover. Tears dripped from his eyes as his cheeks were soaked with dirt and blood. He looked towards Sherry with agony and regret as she crept towards him with purpose.
"Don't!" Ryan pleaded. "I just wanted to be favored by Negan like Dwight was."
"Why?" Sherry asked with infuriation. "What are you trying to do?"
Ryan tried to choose his words carefully but knew it would be for not. "I only wanted food to provide for my family. I didn't want everything to go this far." He confessed.
"Yet you led how many Saviors to come pick me up?" Sherry questioned as she kicked him in the stomach. He tumbled over to his back as rain fell upon his face. Blood seeped out of his mouth and fell to the concrete below while Sherry only watched. "I find that hard to believe." She finished.
"Dwight." Ryan muttered. "He knows about him."
Sherry's pulse started on its incline as she kneeled down to hear him over the downpour. "What did you say?" She asked worried that she heard him incorrectly.
"Dwight… I sold him out." Ryan stated while looking into Sherry's eyes with guilt. "Negan knows about him fighting for Alexandria."
Sherry could feel herself shaking when she heard Ryan say the words as she looked around the forest with misgivings. She turned around to peer at the tipped over truck that Carol was still inside and then stared at the highway that led to Sanctuary. "Where is Dwight?!" She pressed with her voice rising while turning her attention back to Ryan who was bleeding out.
Ryan whimpered as he looked to Sherry with an apologetic overcast. "I'm sorry…" He said grimly as Sherry feared the worst. "I just wanted my family to have a happier life."
"By killing my family?" Sherry exasperated as she thought of Dwight. Her heart seized at the thought of him dead that it made her gasp for breath. She put her index finger and thumb to her temples as she tried to mentally process the worst news ever given to her. Tears erupted as she hadn't felt a worse betrayal since Haruki. Anger started boiling up inside as she looked at the gun then glared towards Ryan.
"I'm so sorry." Ryan whispered as he looked up to the sky in his weakly state.
"So am I." Sherry muttered as she pointed the gun at his forehead and fired without a second thought. The noise blared as his head snapped back from the force and blood flowed out just above his eyebrow.
Sherry stood up and looked towards the direction of Sanctuary. She didn't know whether to believe Dwight was dead or not. She couldn't even fathom the idea of living her life without him there by her side. Somehow, she always figured he would be. The thought terrorized her mind as she put both hands to the side of her head and faced downwards at the concrete below. Rise above it, Sher, she thought to herself. If he's dead, he would want you to take control of yourself. Just focus on the present and hope for the best.
She hoped he was alive. If he was alive, Negan would eventually make him pay for his misdeeds in the near future. Sherry knew Negan all too well. A hit like the one Dwight had given him would result in death. Sherry openly cried at the thought but started walking towards Carol's truck to help her and focus on getting to Hilltop. "We're still here." Sherry said softly as she heard a car heading towards them on the highway. She turned around to see it was Rick's van that he would often drive when they were in transit with a lot of people. Relieved that she and Carol weren't alone for long, she limped to the truck where Carol laid. "We're still here."
…
Dwight was uncertain of where Ryan went after he agreed for him to be on their side. He didn't know whether to trust Ryan but wasn't sure if he had any other choice. Dwight didn't have any reason to suspect the young father and was sure that Ryan valued the cause that they had stood for.
Hoping that Ryan would stay strong for however long the war would last, he left the court house and started towards his home to have a brief amount of down time. He strode the distance as he looked at what was left of Sherry's old house. He could only identify a pile of burnt wood and part of its foundation buried underneath. From what Dwight understood from one of the Saviors who raided the house and the people inside, Sherry was the one who sent it up in flames. He almost felt a small sense of pride in the fact that she had done something so drastic to get her friends out of a terrible situation. Still not knowing all the details, Dwight remained impressed regardless.
When Dwight walked into his house, there was complete silence. He half expected his housemates would be present but there was no one to be found. Just then, he heard muffled laughter up in his room as he gazed up at the stairs to see the source. His bedroom door was partially closed as he occasionally saw a silhouette pacing back and forth while it continued in outbursts of amusement. Dwight perceived who it was and reluctantly walked up to confront him.
Dwight opened the door as he saw Negan take a seat on his bed while Sherry's letters to Dwight were strewn across the floor. Negan looked up to him with a smile as if he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary and almost appeared like he was inviting Dwight to have a laugh with him.
"'Dear Dwight,' blah blah fuckity blah. ' I hate it here. My parents would be humiliated to know what my outcome has been throughout all of this. I mean, they would understand and know it wasn't really my fault but if they knew, I feel like my dad would be charging those gates now and try to take Sanctuary on all by himself.'" Negan looked up with skepticism. "Well, he was a cop so maybe he would have just proven to be useful as one of my men instead. He could have joined in the ranks!" Negan read on as he tried to find another paragraph that interested him. "'I want to believe that we will get out of Sanctuary sometime soon. I just don't want to get my hopes up, ya know? After last time, I don't want anyone else to die because of me. I don't think I could take it if another member of our group was killed. Sincerely, Sherry.'"
"Are you done?" Dwight growled as he leaned against his wall. He was growing tired of Negan's games but Negan sneaking into his room and going through his things was something that he had yet to do before. Dwight considered it a low but was actually surprised Negan didn't do it previously.
"No, I still have a couple more letters to read if you care to join me." Negan informed and reached for another letter. "That's cute that you marked each letter with a number so I can follow the letters in chronological order of when you got them. Makes my job easier."
Dwight exhaled loudly to express how Negan's trick to get under his skin worked. "You going to take another toe off for these?" Dwight inquired sarcastically.
"Depends… I'm guessing these letters were before I branded your fucking face, am I right?" Negan quizzed. Dwight nodded his answer. "Then you're off the hook." Negan responded and brought the letter up closer to his face so he could read Sherry's small font. "Ya know, most of these things that she told you about where she was from… where her grandma lived… her religion and her family's nationality… ballet… She told me these things. It took a lot of coaxing and I fought to really get to know her but she finally let me in; physically and figuratively speaking, that is." Dwight bristled in his place at Negan's comment as Negan glanced up to him with a playful look. "That still a tough pill to swallow, isn't it?"
Dwight didn't respond but grinded his teeth instead. Negan scoffed then looked back down at the letter. "I enjoyed being with Sherry. I loved being with her actually. But I'll let you in on something I haven't really told you before. I think I took pleasure in making you jealous even more. Just seeing your face whenever I talked about her with me…" Negan peered at Dwight and smiled wide. "Hey, you have that same look now. It's fucking priceless. But now I know you lied about something."
"Lied about what?" Dwight quipped while Negan only rolled his eyes.
"You said you were over her. Clearly, you aren't even fucking close. Not by a long shot." Negan said and moved onto the next letter. "And she was never over you. That one was more obvious. But she liked me enough." Dwight made a noise of disbelief. "Don't believe me? Well, I guess you don't have a reason to."
Dwight did know that Sherry cared for Negan if even in the smallest measurement. She had confessed that to him when they were both at the Kingdom. Some envy arose within Dwight when she had said it but he understood why she tried to acclimate to her situation. Dwight didn't appreciate Negan for making her care but he accepted her reasoning behind it.
Negan carefully folded the letter back up and then picked up the other ones off the floor. "Well, if it makes you sleep better at night, you can keep these. I have no use for them." Negan said and handed them all to Dwight.
Dwight looked at the letters and wondered if there was some trick up Negan's sleeve if he took them. Regardless if there was, he reached for them anyways and put them in his jacket pocket for temporary safekeeping since his room felt a little less secure.
Negan looked out the window as it started to rain and then at Dwight. "We're going to have a little meeting at the mill to discuss our next attack at Hilltop. We'll come full force tomorrow but I have a feeling I might stump them all with our next strategy. After the meeting, I need you to come to my house where I have a specific job for you to do at Hilltop when everything goes down. And it has to be you and nobody else." Negan directed while they both walked out of Dwight's room.
Dwight sighed but nodded his head. "Sounds good." He said in no particular tone other than somewhat tired of the constant strategy conversations that seemed to consume his time.
Negan picked up on the way Dwight said it and looked to him. "With your help, this will be our last fight with them. Then, I'll have you know, you'll be relieved of duty as my second hand man."
Dwight stopped and gave Negan a puzzled look. "What?" He questioned.
"I said you don't have to be my second hand man anymore. Isn't that what you wanted this whole fucking time?" Negan asked. "You helped enough. You can settle down and put your feet up once this is all over."
Dwight felt surprised and wondered what would compel Negan to come to a decision such as that. Immediately feeling wary, he still gave Negan a doubtful look.
"I'll catch you up to speed when you come to my house after the meeting, alright? We'll get into more details about your demotion." Negan said with a too friendly smile as they walked out of the house and towards the mill. That same feeling overcame Dwight. The same feeling that he had two years ago when Negan returned from overthrowing the Kingdom. Two years ago, everything fell apart. Dwight could sense it. Somehow Negan knew. Dwight was quick to suspect Ryan. He didn't have a reason to distrust Mark or Carson with their equal efforts to make sure Negan was stopped. They, as well as Dwight, had too much at stake for the cause they rallied for. Takuya would have never turned his back on Dwight. Dwight knew it had to be Ryan who opened his big mouth.
Negan and Dwight both walked in silence the rest of the way towards the mill as an abundant silence grew loud in between them. Dwight even wondered if the rest of his face would have been ironed within the next ten minutes and he was just heading to his own ceremony for it.
When they made it to the mill, he saw several people wrangling walkers to be chained against one of the longer walls. The Saviors were even enjoying having a little fun with kicking in some of the walkers legs so they would limp a little bit more. Dwight glanced quickly around the room and didn't see Takuya in sight. Dwight made sure Eugene and Sasha were on constant watch and left Mark and Carson to protect them. All of his group members were accounted for besides Takuya.
"Have you seen Tak?" Dwight asked Negan as he still stayed at his side.
"Can't really say." Negan grumbled as he gazed around to feign concern. "I guess no one gave the Jap a memo." Negan patted Dwight on the shoulder and walked towards the Saviors and into the center of the room. Dwight made his way to the front of the crowd and mentally counted how many men were there. Even the men that were supposed to be on guard were also in attendance. Dwight saw at least a hundred men that stood at the ready on Negan's signal.
"Good morning, Saviors! Thanks for gathering for me so early today!" Negan said even though Dwight figured it was more around eleven o'clock. "Look what we have here!" He gestured towards the walkers that lined the wall behind him. "I know it seems fucking crazy to have undead fucks inside the walls but these beauties are the lynchpin of our war plans going forward. Believe it or not, these things are going to help us win this fucking war."
There were nods of approval and obvious stares of awe while Negan continued his influence on the men. Dwight just folded his arms at the front of the group and looked at the others who fell for Negan's show presentation.
"You all know how this shit works. You get a bite, you get any kind of wound from these things, something from them gets in you and you fucking die. We're all infected. We all have this to look forward to when we kick the bucket. We know this." Negan continued, "But for some goddamn reason, one of these things bites us… No matter how minor an injury it would otherwise fucking be – the fever sets in. That fever burns us the fuck out. Makes us one of them faster then we'd planned to be. Which fucking sucks."
Negan walked closer to one of the walkers as it snarled in his direction. "That's the dangerous world we're living in. But we're going to use it to our advantage!" Negan placed Lucille on the walker's shoulder as the walker protested with hunger. "You see this? Look at it…watch how I'm just getting in there…rubbing all up in its grill. Lucille is getting to know this sorry sack of dead flesh. Sorry Lucille." Negan said with the last sentence more of a mumble. Dwight watched as he twisted Lucille in the walker's dead skin and muscles as the baseball bat became more and more reddened with rotten blood.
"Now look at this!" Negan shouted while raising his bat up for everyone to see. "The new and improved, better than before, all awesome and abso-fucking-lutely deadly Lucille! I don't have to crush your head or pound your face through the back of your skull anymore. The slightest touch from Lucille...just a kiss…and she's left her mark."
Negan pointed a finger at each of his men as he beheld all of them. "We're going to do this with all our weapons. We're going to gunk them up. We're going to have space-aged zombie bacteria weapons at our disposal." Negan encouraged as he gave a face that Dwight had never seen. Negan was out for blood and he didn't care who he stopped to get it. "And we're going to kill every fucking last fucking one of these ungrateful fucks. Load 'em up!"
…
Sherry kept pressure on Carol's wound all the way until they made it to Hilltop. Rick, Daryl, and Carl were the only ones in the van when they had pulled up to come to their rescue. With Daryl's help, they got the shifting knob out of Carol's side which sent her into shock as she fought for breath and her body laid tense. Sherry held one of Carol's hands to hold her still while Daryl did the same as they each took turns compressing her leg.
"I need something else for the blood." Sherry urged. It was only thirty minutes ago that she took her own jacket off to give to Carol. Now only wearing her jeans and a black tank, she looked to see if there was any piece of cloth that could be used to help. The amount of blood that Carol had lost was astonishing. Sherry couldn't focus on how awful the wound itself looked but instead zeroed in on saving her life.
Daryl started taking his own leather jacket off as they felt the car slow upon arrival to Hilltop. Carl watched them take care of Carol from the front seat as he stared on in horror. They had lost too many people and Sherry refused to have Carol be another name on that list.
"We're here." Rick said as he pulled the car past the gates and straight towards the mansion. Once the car stopped completely, Sherry opened the side door and reached for both of Carol's legs. Carol had since passed out and her body fell limp. Sherry waited for Daryl to adjust himself to carry Carol's under arms and to find his bearings as they stepped out of the car with Carol in between them.
"Two steps behind you." Daryl instructed as Sherry practically jogged backwards into the mansion while still supporting Carol's legs. Sherry took the stairs and made it into the nicely furnished house without any more thought.
"Where's the doctor?!" Rick demanded as he hurried his pace behind them.
One man stood at the top of the stairs and gestured with his hand to join him on the second floor. "Please, please, come with me! The Kingdom's doctor is here! He has more experience with this kind of wound." He explained with hope in his voice.
"No!" Daryl barked angrily but Sherry started taking the stairs anyways while Daryl followed. Sherry glanced at him with surprise as Daryl's nose flared. "Not him!" He argued.
"Mr. Dixon, I'm only an obstetrician. I can fix things here and there but the fact of the matter is that Doctor Edwards knows far more about this than I do." The man said as Sherry presumed it was Carson's brother and resident doctor of Hilltop. "If you want this woman to live, you need to think about her well-being and not doctor preferences." Doctor Carson reasoned.
"Daryl, he's a good doctor." Rick reasoned behind Daryl. "Harlan is right. We can't fucking afford preferences right now."
Sherry and Daryl made it to the farthest room in the upstairs hallway and saw a twin size bed in the small room. They carefully laid her down as Sherry went back to applying pressure with Daryl's jacket. Another man walked into the room as Daryl made a noise of loathing. The doctor only stared at him but then focused his gaze on Carol. Doctor Edwards seemed to be stuck between a rock and a hard place as he wanted to start investigating the wound but Daryl stood in front of both Carol and Sherry in almost a protective stance. Sherry just kept her hand over Daryl's jacket to help stop the bleeding but even his attitude was messing with her ability to concentrate. Sherry was reading his behavior and her mind wanted to act the same way as he did with her own defense mechanism but she tried to swallow it down and be there for Carol instead.
Terri then walked in and was ready for action as she looked at the standoff in passing. "Daryl, things will be better for Carol if you leave the room. Let him focus and let him save her. Please!" Terri begged as she put a hand on Daryl's shoulder. "Sherry," Terri said to get Sherry's attention and to help Daryl leave their makeshift operating room.
Sherry quickly took her hands off Carol's side and stepped out of the room to let Terri take her place. She stopped at the doorway and turned to see if Daryl was following. He just stood there staring at the doctor who didn't move from his spot.
"You try anythin' and I'll kill you." Daryl muttered and stormed out of the room while Sherry closed the door behind them. Sherry didn't expect Daryl to stick around as he quickly walked down the stairs to lower his stress.
Sherry wanted to cry with everything that she had felt. Her life felt pretty dismal at the news of Ryan betraying Dwight. The more that she thought about it, she wondered if being in Sanctuary was all it took to save Dwight from his doomed fate. It made her want to cry even more at the fact that she was only wasting time being in Hilltop.
"Doctor Edwards and Daryl don't get along," Rick started who suddenly appeared next to her. Sherry heard what he said but her mind was made up and she needed to leave. "Sherry?" He asked when she didn't respond back to him.
She limped out of the hallway and down the stairs as she peered to Rick. "I need the keys to the van." She instructed as she barged towards the front door.
"For what?" Rick asked as he followed her outside in the rain. "We just got here!"
"Rick, the Saviors didn't attack me and Carol randomly!" Sherry disclosed in terror. "Negan sought me out and told his thugs to come find me."
"That hasn't changed anything. We need you here! You can't go back to Sanctuary." Rick argued.
"Dammit, Rick." Sherry whispered in frustration. "Negan knows about Dwight! He knows about him helping us out! Just please give me the fucking keys!"
"I don't have them." Rick confessed. "I gave them to Carl."
Sherry started walking inside the mansion to retrieve the keys but Rick caught her arm. Sherry raised her other arm towards him not scared in the slightest to slap him across the face. "Negan will kill Dwight, Rick. If I am able to help in any way, I need to go!" She pleaded.
"So you could just watch Dwight die instead?" Rick pressed as Sherry could feel the devastation take over. "Dwight wouldn't want you there and you know that's true! What if you get there and it's already too late?"
"I don't know that!" Sherry said as the tears came. She stopped fighting as she looked at her surroundings. There were so many things that she had to tell him and the thought of running out of time was too much. Even the thought of him being dead was unbelievable. Just when there was a chance that they could potentially be together, the hope was squandered away if he wasn't alive to be there. "What if…" Sherry started to say as reality started to sink in.
Negan was spiteful as she had always known him to be. He hardly gave second chances when members screwed up on a grand scale. Sherry knew it wasn't Dwight's first offense. Countless times he had sacrificed his life for the well-being of others even when it opposed Negan's new world order. If Negan knew that Dwight tarnished that world order beyond repair, Negan wouldn't keep him around; no matter how valuable of a leader Dwight was.
"What if he's already gone?" Sherry finished as she sat on the mansion's front steps letting the grief take over completely. Sherry put her face in her hands and let herself cry. She loved Dwight. The loss in her life stung more than any other death that she had experienced before. Dwight was hers and the void that she had felt with him not being in her life for the last two years wasn't nearly as bad as the emptiness in her heart while in Hilltop.
"I won't allow you to leave, Sherry." Rick said quietly. Sherry felt Rick sit down beside her and put an arm on her back while she sobbed even more. Everything had less meaning if Dwight wasn't able to reap the benefits of a life without Negan as well as she was going to in the future. Without Dwight, all the sacrifices no longer seemed worth it.
…
Dwight looked at the letter that he had quickly jotted out on his desk before he headed out towards the court house. Negan had been waiting for Dwight to come to his house but Dwight hadn't made it there and wasn't going to be there until he finalized some things before. Satisfied that the letter went over everything that he wanted to say, he stuffed in his pocket along with the other letters that Sherry had written him two years previously.
Dwight practically ran to the court house and up to the rooms where Sasha & Eugene were held. He heard some people talking in the hallway and then saw Mark and Carson outside of Eugene's room conversing amongst themselves while Eugene would respond here and there. When Mark and Carson saw Dwight, they stood alert and were quickly alarmed at Dwight's disposition.
"Dwight, what's wrong?" Carson inquired while Eugene stuck his head out of his room to see what the problem was. Dwight felt a cold sweat coming as he rubbed his forehead and stopped in front of his group. Sasha walked to her doorway and looked to Dwight with worry.
"Where's Takuya?" Dwight asked them quickly.
Carson and Mark looked to each other and shrugged. "I haven't seen him all morning." Mark revealed.
"Fuck!" Dwight muttered and paced the hallway in thought. He then looked to Mark and Carson as everything that he worked for began to unravel. "You guys need to leave. All of you." He stated as they gazed at him with sudden fear.
"Why? What's going on?" Sasha asked as she walked into the hallway.
"Negan knows." Dwight confessed. "He knows about me going behind his back to fight for Rick."
"He's told you this?" Carson questioned with wide eyes. Dwight knew that it was going to put everyone who conspired against Negan in potential risk.
"No, I just have a gut feeling." Dwight said quietly as he kept looking towards the entrance of the wing with superstition.
"How would he even find out?" Mark asked with a shaky voice.
"Ryan." Eugene answered and looked to Dwight. "When's the last time you saw him?"
"I saw him leave Sanctuary with several men on business a few hours ago." Carson revealed. "I thought it looked out of the ordinary that he was leading men somewhere but I didn't think anything of it at the time. How does Ryan know about us?"
"He heard me talking to Eugene." Dwight admitted. "I just didn't think he would squeal this early. Or at all."
"He was a desperate son of a bitch." Mark uttered and looked to Dwight. "But wouldn't you be in his situation too?"
Dwight gulped down his pride and nodded halfheartedly. He then looked to Mark and Carson. "We're leaving for Hilltop at first light. Negan suspects that it'll be the last showdown before he takes over. If what I think is going to happen in the next twenty minutes, you two need to lay low. I'll tell him that I sent you guys on an errand. Do any other Saviors particularly know that you are here?" He asked them solemnly.
Carson shook his head but looked to Dwight with seriousness. "Dwight, what do you think is going to happen in the next several minutes?"
Dwight reached into his pocket and handed Carson the letters that Sherry sent him along with the new and short letter he had written to her only moments before. "Please give these to Sherry when you can." Dwight insisted. "The Saviors leave at first light, Sanctuary will be pretty much abandoned save for some outposts that are on the way to Hilltop. Negan has called all of the Saviors to the front gates of Hilltop. Stay low until then. When we are gone, you guys should be in the clear to make it the long way towards Hilltop and maybe get there in time to help with the cause."
Carson took the letters and stared at Dwight with shock. "Will you be there, Dwight?" He asked.
"I don't know." Dwight answered quietly and put a hand on Carson's shoulder. "Please make sure Sasha and Eugene leave this place alive." He looked to the Alexandrian's with regret. "Just wish I could have helped more."
"Dwight, just lay low with us." Sasha suggested. "You don't have to give up like this."
"Takuya is missing and has been gone all day. If there is any chance that Negan has captured him then I can't leave him behind." Dwight said firmly. "Good luck, you guys. Hopefully you will all see this battle to the end and come out on top." With that, he walked out of the hallway to meet his fate.
AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIAS, & FACTS
#1 – The "we're still here" line that Sherry says after killing Ryan is an homage to when Dwight said it after taking Haruki's life. Both times being said after seeking justice when they received betrayal.
#2 – Decided to give Carol a different role than what she has in the show. Didn't really enjoy the storyline that she had in the end of season six. It wasn't really in her character. It COULD have been in her character if they delved into it a little bit more but it was sudden and unbecoming. So Carol from Many Hearts to Tread is contradicting Carol from the Walking Dead show. Oops.
#3 – The tradition of the flower petals on the graves was something that Hannah's family did. Remember Hannah? Negan's first kill from Sherry's group? Yeah, she's more so mentioned then in the book but hey….
#4 – Sooooooo… I LIKED Doctor Steven Edwards from season 5 of Walking Dead. I am one of the many who shipped Daryl and Beth like there was no tomorrow. And it took me over a year to actually get over her death. I was a mess and every time "Be Good" comes up on my iPod, I still have to give a pout look as I remember her serenading Daryl while he chilled out in the fancy casket. Ways that I think Beth's death would have had more meaning? Glad you asked! First, the ONE person from Grady that came with Rick's group is dead? No! That literally gives Beth's sacrifice crappy meaning. Like what was that even for? Rick gives an invitation for whoever wanted to come with them and be away from Grady. No one took it. But hello, FanFiction. In MY version, the doctor from Grady comes with them. Back story would be as such: Doctor Steven Edwards and Noah are the only ones who come with Rick's group. Noah dies like the show and that leaves Edwards to be the only one who was touched by Beth's sincerity to live some kind of legacy of his own. Daryl doesn't trust Edwards (because Grady was fishy) and suggests to Rick that because Alexandria already has a doctor, that he takes temporary leave of his "practice." Rick agrees. In the month in between Vessel and Cruel World, Edwards decides to take up residency in the Kingdom for their lack of doctor and for the sake of being away from Daryl who we all know goes out of his way to dislike someone. So Edwards stays! I also collaborate with apenny12 who wrote HOPE. Many Hearts to Tread and HOPE are sister books of each other and we use each other's interpretations of the characters. So if you have wondered where Morgan has been this whole time… Just read HOPE! Spoiler for the Many Hearts to Tread series if you do read HOPE though.