"C'mon honey, they said it'll be hours. What did they say?" Carolyn asked Alex.

"Minimum six hours, more likely eight," Alex confirmed. "She's right, Sarah. Let's get you to the hotel."

"I won't sleep," Sarah said weakly.

"I know. But you can at least rest. Then when Jay wakes up, you won't look like hell, and get her all worried. It's the best thing you can do for her," Carolyn wasn't above emotional blackmail.

"But if …," Sarah started.

"I'll stay here," Alex promised her. "Mom and Liv will get you settled."

"I'm staying too," Joe said quietly, trying not to meet anyone's gaze. Alex reached over and squeezed his fingers.

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Nine hours later

"I don't care. I'm going back over. What did Alex say?" Sarah demanded, as Olivia hung up the phone.

"Nothing. No news. She's only just back from the nurses' station. The nurses think the operation is just finishing up."

Sarah was already lacing up her sneakers.

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An hour later

"I'll go ask again," Alex said. "Wait here."

She returned ten minutes later. "She's in recovery," she addressed her remarks to Sarah and Joe. "She coped well with the surgery. The surgeon'll be here in a few, to give us all the details."

"So she's still alive?" Joe was pale.

"Very much so," Alex said. "I know this is unbearable. Just a few more minutes," she felt a warm arm round her waist, and knew even without looking that it was Olivia. She leant her head on Olivia's shoulder.

When the surgeon came into the room eight minutes later, they all looked up.

"Family of Jane Kazinsky?"

"Yeah," Olivia replied, as the others seemed incapable of speech. "That's her wife," she pointed to Sarah.

The surgeon gave a kindly smile. He drew up a chair between Sarah and Joe. "She did very well," he said. "And her fever's even fallen a little. She hasn't had any more seizures, and her oxygen saturation is a little better." He took a deep breath. "As you know, there was some tissue necrosis, and that was turning into septicaemia. We had to stop that right away. Her body can't take any more. So, we removed the dead tissue. It wasn't too bad, but we did have to do a couple of small amputations."

Sarah inhaled sharply, a look of anguish on her face. She opened her mouth, and then shut it again. For as long as she didn't know, she could imagine her darling girl intact. Once she had asked the question...

"How much damage are we talking?" Alex asked.

"It's not bad. It's really not," the surgeon reassured them all. "On her left hand, we had to take off two fingers, and one fingertip."

Sarah nodded. She didn't care about that. That wouldn't ruin Jay's life.

"And her leg?" Alex pushed.

"Just the foot," the surgeon said. "That was a little more damaged. I'm sorry to say she has lost all her toes. But we managed to save most of the foot. The problem there is that the big toe contributes significantly to being able to balance. She'll have to learn to walk a little differently. But, with the right support, and the proper adjustments to her footwear, she should be okay."

"So she's going to be okay?" Sarah whispered. This whole thing was like a nightmare. She had never imagined discussing her wife's amputated toes. Not in any circumstance. But it was the fever that was the major problem, she knew that.

"Nothing is certain yet," the surgeon said. He gave a small smile. "But there's every reason to be optimistic. The operation was traumatic for her, but she coped. And she's recovering nicely right now. The team doesn't have any immediate concerns. We need to get that fever down, but it has fallen slightly, which is a very good sign. Often the trauma of an operation has the opposite effect. We're continuing to push the antibiotics. It's starting to look as though they may be working."

"When will we know?" Alex asked.

"It's hard to tell. Every case is different. We'll be keeping a very close watch."

"Will she wake up soon?" Olivia wanted to know.

"No. We're deliberately keeping her sedated, to give her body the maximum chance to recover. We're going to maintain the sedation for at least 24 hours, probably longer. This time tomorrow, we'll look at it again, and see if anything has changed."

"Can I see her?" Sarah asked.

"Very soon. They'll be transferring her to ICU soon. I'll get one of the nurses to come get you as soon as she's settled."

"Joe can come too, right?" Sarah asked.

"Of course. It's the best thing for her, being surrounded by the people she loves."

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Casey tried to be patient. She spoke calmly into the phone. "I'm sorry, Charlie. Of course I know it's my birthday. But I'm having to cover here. It's an emergency, I told you that. It's Alex's niece," Casey didn't want to have to explain that it was in fact her niece's same-sex spouse, that would only give more ammunition for Charlie to fire at her. "She's got meningitis. Yes, of course it's serious. She could die, Charlie, it doesn't get much more serious than that. We can celebrate another day. Twenty-nine is hardly a milestone. Yes, I'll make it up to you. Another four hours at least," wearily she looked at her watch. "I'll see you later."

"She's not going to die," Alex said very quietly, from the doorway.

Casey looked up, and saw how pale Alex was. She rushed to her and gave her a warm hug. She pushed her gently into a chair.

"She's not going to die," Alex said again, quietly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I …," Casey was frightened of saying the wrong thing.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just … I won't accept that that's even a possibility."

"How is she?"

"A little better. I think. She lost some fingers, and all the toes on one foot," Alex blinked back tears. "Sarah's with her now. Her fever's fallen slightly. Not much, but it's a good sign. And they're pretty sure they got all the dead tissue."

"So what in the hell are you doing here, counselor?" Casey asked.

"I just wanted to check everything was okay. To be honest, I was going stir-crazy. I can't do anything to help. I wish I could. Liv's with the girls right now, but I … I'm being a coward. I don't know what to say to Lily. She knows Jay's sick, but she has no idea what it could mean. So I told Liv I needed to call in here. She knows I'm just hiding."

"And that's okay," Casey said softly, upset to see the usually composed Alex Benson vulnerable and frightened. "We all need to get out sometimes. I'm sure Olivia understands."

Alex nodded. "And what about you?" she tried to change the subject. "That conversation didn't sound good. How are things?"

Casey gave a hollow laugh. "Truthfully? You don't want to know. You have more than enough to handle right now, Alex."

"But that doesn't mean I don't care about what happens to you."

"I know. And I'm grateful. I'll tell you what, when you can tell me that dear, lovely Jay is okay, then I'll bore you with my domestic travails. Is that a deal?"

Alex nodded. "But you are okay? It's nothing serious, right?"

"I'm fine. I swear to you."

They both looked up as Liz Donnelly strode into the room. Liz looked at her watch. "It's 11pm. How about we all have a shot of that single malt whisky you keep behind those constitutional law books?" she looked directly at Alex.

Alex smiled. She knew it wasn't even worth asking Liz how she knew about that. There was very little that Elizabeth Donnelly didn't know about. She opened a filing cabinet and extracted two glasses and a coffee mug. Pouring them all a slug, she smiled to herself. Nothing could make the situation any better, but good friends could help to find a way through.

"You look like hell, Cabot," Donnelly said. "Sorry, Benson. I still can't get used to your domestic idyll. How are your beautiful babies?"

"They're wonderful," Alex said.

"Tell Lily I need to see her."

"You do?" Alex played along.

"Yeah. I need to show her her mother's new office," Donnelly gave a small smile. "This place isn't big enough for the two of you. And Lansing's finally handed in his notice," she held her glass up in a celebratory gesture. "So that opens up the big corner office."

Casey gaped. Lansing's office was a huge, L-shaped room, with its own private bathroom, and, most excitingly of all, a large window by each desk, offering a great view of the city.

"You two can argue over who gets which end. It's perfect for the two of you. And," Donnelly winked, "there's that alcove in the middle. I thought it would be perfect for Wiggle's basket."

Alex started to cry.

Donnelly looked startled, and then she did something she hadn't done in 25 years in the bureau. She strode over to Alex and took her in her arms. She rubbed her back as she cried.

Alex was mortified. She had never lost control like this in the workplace. And in front of her boss! But she couldn't stop crying. Nearly ten minutes later, she managed to get some control over herself. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, as she pulled back a little.

"You weren't here when my nephew was killed," Donnelly spoke more gently than Alex had ever known. "Arthur Branch took care of me. He even organized the services, as my sister and I were … well, we couldn't do anything. We're a team, here, Alexandra. We look out for each other. And we always will."

Alex nodded. This was the first piece of personal information she had ever heard from Donnelly.

"Of course, if that pooch of yours ever decides to take a piss on my carpet, all bets are off," Donnelly tried to lighten the mood.

Alex smiled.

"I like Jay," Donnelly's tone was soft again. "We all do. You'll give her our love, won't you?"

Alex nodded again. "I should get back to Liv and the girls," she drained her coffee mug.

"I'm serious. I do want to see Lily. She makes me laugh. She's the perfect blend of you and Olivia."

"She gets more like Liv every day," Alex smiled. "She has such a strong sense of what's right."

"Like both her mothers," Casey said.

Alex stood up. "You've been very kind. Both of you. And happy birthday, Casey, what's left of it."

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Two days after the operation

"It's looking good," the doctor said as she adjusted Jay's IV. "Her fever's come way down. It's at 102.4 now. We'll let her sleep the night, and we'll slowly reduce the sedative from tomorrow morning. We can't be sure of anything until she wakes up. She's likely to have some damage, but we can just pray it's minimal."

Sarah gulped. She was desperate for Jay to wake up, but at the same time, she was terrified, as then she could no longer kid herself that everything was fine. At the very least, Jay had a long recovery ahead of her. But she was looking calmer, and she was no longer in that terrifying agony. Sarah would never forget the pain that her beloved wife had suffered. She was still flushed, but she was mostly peaceful, and she had stopped making those involuntary sounds that had scared Sarah so badly. "Hear that, sweetheart?" she brushed the hair tenderly from her forehead. "You're coming back to me real soon. It's all going to be okay. You're going to be fine. We can work through everything together."

"She's very lucky," the doctor said. "So many people don't have anyone to wake up to."

"I'm the one who's lucky," Sarah whispered. She touched Jay's cheek softly. "So lucky."