Yeah...whole every Friday-a-chapter thing didn't work so well with me. I was hit with such a need to write that I had to post this one up! Hope you enjoy and I finally figured how to end this. Though, that is still like three-four chapters off. Hope you read, review, and, the most important, enjoy!

11) Nightmare And A Dream

Finn expected Rachel to be shocked, in the least, but what he didn't expect was for her to freeze, eyes going rigid. They always had a warmth to them, but now they were ice cold with a fury that rocked the tall boy back slightly. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong with him going into the Army, but she threw back her chair and stomped towards her room without saying a word or giving him a second glance, her seat crashing to the floor with a loud series of clunks.

He stared at the table for a moment, utterly confused. He thought she would be happy for him because, besides his mom and Burt, she was the biggest one on his case to figure out what he wanted to do with his future. Rachel had always wanted him to follow her to New York, but what was he supposed to do there? He didn't have the talent like Kurt and Rachel to get into NYADA, so what was he going to do? Sit in Rachel's shadow and let her carry him through his life?

No, he was better than that - he wanted to be better than that. Rachel told him that he was a leader once, and he didn't want to be a lackey that just dogged her footsteps looking for tidbits whenever they fell. That didn't mean he didn't want to be with Rachel - far from it - but he wanted to show everyone that he could accomplish something by himself and make them proud of him.

And what was better than joining the Army? His father went into the military and he died a hero, his courage and honor setting a flame of pride in Finn. He was proud of his father and what he had done for his country, for his family. He gave his life so others could live and claim their freedom, never having to face the ugliness of war and misery like some nations were facing overseas. Christopher Hudson was his biggest role-model and there wasn't anyone else (except possibly Rachel) that Finn wanted them to look at him with admiration more; his father smiling down at him with a familiar crooked grin and pride flaring in his eyes that matched Finn's so well.

Didn't Rachel see that? Couldn't she understand that a piece of him was always missing, a void that never seemed to be filled. Maybe following in his father's footsteps would replace that hole inside of his chest and, hopefully, then he could understand what he really wanted to do in his life. Rachel had to understand that, she, more than anyone else in his life, had to know.

"Rach!" He yelled, and ran up the stairs just as she slammed the door to her room and locked it with an audible clicking noise. Stepping softly, he approached her door and put an ear to the wood. He heard the slight creaking of her bed as a weight was pressed down on it and a quiet sob - one filled with sadness and anger. Sighing, he knocked once on the door. "Rach, let me in."

"Why?" Her voice was bitter as she snapped back, Finn almost seeing the glare of reproach she probably gave the door. "So, you could just decide to walk out and leave me alone? Just go away, Finn. I don't want to see you."

"Why the hell not?" Finn returned, confused at her words and tone. "Don't you see? I finally have a plan for once in my crappy life and you're pissed about it? Explain that to me, please, maybe I'll freaking understand what the hell is wrong with you."

The instant he said the words, he regretted them and he felt his flare of anger die down. They were harsh and he had to remind himself that Rachel had been through a great ordeal, she didn't need to be accused. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Don't lie to me, Finn! I heard the truth in your voice, I knew that it all had to be a lie. It was too good to be true!" Rachel's voice was full of scorn, and her next words came with a very sarcastic tone. "How could I think that you are different than anyone else. You think I'm horrible now, too, and all your promises to not leave and that you'll stay with me forever? Lies! Lies! That is all my life seems to be now, lies and trust shattering under reality's brutal hammer. Just run as you always do and leave me alone."

The tall boy was silent for a moment, allowing her words to soak in completely. Why did she think that all his promises were false? He meant every single one of them with all his heart, and a horrible ache filled him when he found out Rachel didn't think he meant them. Pressing a hand to the door and resting his forehead against the surface, he started.

"Rachel, please listen to me." He paused for a second, and when he didn't hear a sound of complaint, he continued with increased vigor. "Every single word, every promise - I meant it. There is not another person in this world that I could feel the same with, I love you. When I fall asleep at night, you are my last thought, and when I awake I only think of seeing you. Out of everyone in my life, you changed me the most and when you did that...a connection was born. We're tethered, Rach, and nothing could keep us apart. I meant it when I promised I'll never leave you."

Silence, then a creaking and a rush of steps. He barely moved back when the door was thrown open and Rachel looked up at him, surprising him greatly when he noticed the anger in her eyes. "You are the biggest hypocrite in this world, Finnegan Hudson."

Finn frowned while his mind was reeling, this was defiantly not something he was expecting. "I don't even know what that word means, but I am not it!"

"A hypocrite is someone who says something but means something else or intends to do the opposite." Rachel explained, her eyes burning with her anger...and disappoint, and was that hurt? Behind the murderous rage, she looked broken and shattered, lost in her disbelief. "How can you say that you will stay with me when you tell me you're enlisting in the freaking Army?"

He gave her a confused look. "I'm still going to be with you when I join, I wouldn't dump you over that-"

Rachel stomped her foot and shook her head, wet hair flying out around her face. "No, no, no! You promised you would stay with me, and you can't do that when you are thousands of miles fighting in some stupid war or in danger of getting yourself killed. Do you realize that if you enlist, you could be away from me by the summer because of boot camp and the other stupid trainings they do? We would be apart, Finn, we wouldn't be together and I can't stand you leaving me...not now."

Rachel couldn't handle herself anymore and her anger facade faded quickly as she crumpled into his chest, crying. She wrapped her hands in his shirt and pressed herself against him, like she did in his truck. He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly, but he didn't say anything as he tried to understand.

She wasn't worried of them breaking up, she was scared of them being apart. Truthfully, Finn really didn't think of it when he came up with the idea; he always had the impression that Rachel would just be there, like she always was. But she was right, he would be away from her. He wouldn't see her every day, talk to her, hear her laugh, witness her smile, feel her skin under his... And he wasn't sure that he could handle that, but that emptiness inside of him loomed at his feet.

Pressing his face into her hair, Finn only said softly, "Summer is a very long time away and you'll be busy in New York with NYADA...so, maybe, we can both go our own paths for a bit but always remains true to each other. Just because lands and oceans separate us doesn't mean we have to separate as a couple; we will always be together, no matter what."

Rachel sniffed, rubbing her face into his polo. "I-I'm so...selfish!" She pushed herself away, and walked back into her room. Moving away from him with her back turned and arms wrapped tightly around her body, she padded softly to the window. "Why can I only think of myself? Even now, when we should be talking about your future, I can only contemplate my life - what is going to affect me? I shouldn't be yelling at you, I should be encouraging you and saying that I'm proud of your actions."

She sighed and turned to face him, a watery smile upon her sad face. "But in my heart, I can't. I'll support you in whatever decision you make, no matter how much I hate it or dislike it, because that is what I should do. You're my boyfriend, and I'll stand by you with whatever you decide to do."

Finn's eyes watered, realizing how difficult that had to be for Rachel to say and he pulled her into a hug, crushing her body against his. "I love you so much, do you know that, I love you, Rachel Berry. And I can't imagine a life without you being by my side, even if you're not actually, you know, like there."

"And, I love you, Finn Hudson, and I could never imagine what I would do without you," She returned, muffled as her face was pressed up against his chest. They stayed like that for a moment, both content in holding each other and listening to other's heartbeats and breathing, but finally Finn pulled away and looked down at her with a shaky smile.

"So, what now?"

Rachel looked up into his face, her eyes still a little misty, but she only returned his smile with one of her own and asked, "Any chance of there being more casserole?"

xXx

Rachel shot up in bed, her eyes flashing wildly and her hands clawing the sheets around her, trying to get them around her, but there was nothing to cling to. She wasn't even in bed, she realized dully, as she swept her gaze around her surroundings. Instead of her bright bedroom, she was in a field with gravestones rising from the ground silently, their presence making a cold shiver run down her back. She must be in a graveyard, she thought to herself as she stood up on shaking legs, but she had no idea on where it was.

Without any reason, she walked up to the nearest gravestone, its letters barely legible due to the elements and age. But squinting and brushing a few flecks of dust off, she read: Sergeant Lee Tophan, 1901 - 1944. Not knowing whom that even was, she continued to the next stone and the next, reading each of the names but recognizing none. She really had no idea why she was even doing it, but it felt right even as a slow depression was slowly suffocating her; each step like plunging into a pool of mud, her strides getting slower and more difficult to manage.

Eventually, Rachel approached a grave at the end of a row, the dread flaring to such a level that she could barely breath. She didn't stop though and she examined the stone with interest. It wasn't like the others, it looked bright and new with the letters shining in the sunlight, as if trying to get her attention.

Finnegan Hudson
1994-2013
A boy who died for the people he loved.

Horror, cold and prickling, ran through Rachel's entire form and she couldn't stop reading the message. The words were imprinted fiercely into her mind, echoing cruelly as she backed away from the grave. Her heart was beating fiercely, mind rushing, and her mouth opening in a constant string of denials. "No, this can't be. Not Finn, not him. No, he can't die."

"Rach? Babe?"

Spinning around with disbelief, her mind trying to reject the voice - the voice that was so familiar to her, one that she never tired of listening to. The voice's owner however was supposed to be in the grave that lay at her feet, whose message glowed like a beacon in her mind. But there was Finn, his hair short and cropped close to his head, but the same glowing cinnamon eyes were there and his crooked grin. She laughed, it had to be a joke and she rushed forward to give him a hug.

Then she noticed the hole in his chest and the blood flowing freely from it, staining his Army clothes a horrid brown. Her body stopped at the sight, unable to comprehend how she was feeling as she lifted her head and examined Finn again. This time she noticed how pale he looked and how his hair was a dull color, his lips flaking as he titled his head to look at her. He held out one hand, stained dark red with his own blood.

"We'll always be together, Rachel." His voice wasn't his anymore, now it was hollow and rough, no life or emotion emanating from it. He took a step forward, but Rachel took one backwards, staring unbelieving at Finn. A high shriek of laughter tore from the figure that was now resembling a corpse instead of Finn, the flesh dissolving away and the hair falling out in small clumps. "Together forever, Rachel."

"NO! Not like this!" She screamed, the sound amplified loudly as a sudden wind flared, dark clouds replacing the sun and a bitter cold appearing in the air. Trying to turn away, Rachel tripped over something and fell to her knees. She tried to throw out her hands to stop her fall, but they only got caught in a pile of leaves and she crashed to the woods' floor.

Woods? She frantically looked around, but the graveyard was gone and trees rose up around her, looking cold and eerie in the gray day. She didn't need to think about where she was, she knew exactly. The park, the place where it all began. A place of destruction and nightmares, where her whole life was thrown around by one single event.

Rachel shivered and she slowly got to get feet, noticing as she did that there was an odd scent in the air and clumps of white and gray falling from the sky. Holding a hand out, she caught a piece and looked at it. It wasn't snow, as guessed, but ash and the smell was smoke, she realized. No sooner did she think it, when fire, roaring with intensity and heat, rose from the ground and raced towards her. Panting, she turned and tried to run but she was blocked by another grave. Her eyes instantly sought the name, uncaring that the flames were nearing her.

Rachel B. Berry
1994 - 2012
Selfish in life, alone in death.
Suicide.

A chasm suddenly ripped open at her feet and before she knew it, something hit her in the back. Throwing out her hands, she tried to stop her plummet but she fell into the grave. As all light vanished and she was plunged into a dark and cool abyss, she screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

"Rachel! Stop it! Rach! Can you hear me - Stop!" Rachel's eyes flew open and she was meet with a pair of concerned and tired cinnamon eyes. Her heart was racing and her breath came in gasps as she leaned up in her bed, propping herself on her elbows. Finn was sitting down beside her with one hand clasped tightly around hers and a worried expression on his gentle face. "Are you okay? Was it a bad dream, a nightmare?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay," Rachel reassured, her body slowly relaxing as she knew Finn wasn't dead, that he was here with her. Tears had sprouted in her eyes, but she wiped them away and gave him a sheepish look. "I'm sorry, I probably look so pathetic right now."

"No," Finn said seriously, his eyes never leaving hers for a second. "You're hurt, Rachel, and that doesn't go away in a day - believe me, I know."

"I know you do," Rachel said softly, remembering vividly the look on his face when she told him of Quinn and Noah, how Beth was actually Noah's child and not Finn's. She couldn't even describe the emotions he probably felt; the emptiness, the hatred, disbelief and confusion, the overpowering pain. She put her free hand on his face and searched his expression. Bags were under his eyes and they looked tired, practically drooping with exhaustion. "You look horrible, I hope I didn't keep you from sleeping."

Finn smiled suddenly, a mischievous glint appearing in his eyes. "I haven't even tried yet, I've been a little busy."

"Busy?" She glanced at the clock and her eyes widened when she saw that it was nearing three in the morning. "What have you been doing that takes all that time?"

"Well," Finn rose up from her bed and walked over to her desk, where she noticed for the first time that her laptop was on. "I was coming up here to see how you were doing when I noticed something: a NYADA application that was empty."

Rachel blushed guilty, knowing well that she had been avoiding it all week. She didn't want to think about it and the hundreds of pressures that came with college. How was she supposed to deal with that and her unstable emotions? "I-I was going to-"

"So, I wondered to myself - why would Rachel not fill it out? Maybe she forgot? Was it possible that she hadn't forgotten about everything and just didn't want to do it anymore?" Finn continued as if he hadn't even heard her, his rhetorical questions coming with an amused tone. He flashed her a grin. "But then I realized that this is Rachel Berry I'm thinking about, so it couldn't be any of those reasons."

Rachel narrowed her eyes and decided to go along with whatever he was trying to say. "What did you come up with then if I hadn't forgotten about it nor was just being lazy?"

"I decided that you thought you could give up and forget about all your plans and dreams, to be like me and not think about it." Finn grabbed a folder off her desk and set it down lightly next to her and sat back down at the end of the bed, his grin growing. "But like I would actually let that happen, so I filled it out for you."

She opened her mouth in shock, unable to comprehend what he was saying. He finished her application? He couldn't of had, but opening the folder she saw that, in Finn's neatest writing, everything was completed perfectly. Lifting that paper up, she was meet with a copy of her resume - something that she hadn't made yet. Looking up with amazement, she meet Finn's laughing eyes. "I did your resume as well, and, crap, did that take awhile. Do you realize how many extra-curricular activities and clubs you did? I wouldn't even be able to remember them all, let alone do them all."

Rachel silently leafed through the thick packet, memories of happy times coming up from each of them and then she paused as she read the segment on how she was in glee club and one of the co-captains. Her eyes smarted with tears as so many images came from that single club; Finn's face being the brightest out of them all.

A sudden guilt pressed down upon Rachel's chest as she placed everything back into the folder neatly and shut it. She had given up, she had been ready to leave life forever and not care how others would feel when she did. It was selfish, but she had truly believed that no one really cared for her anymore - that she was, in fact, a monster. But this,a single folder, was proof that it was all lies. Someone did care for her and believed that she would do well in the future - Finn.

"I-I don't know what to say, Finn." She said dully, pressing the folder into her chest and hugging it tightly. "You have done so much for me, I wonder how I ever could do the same for you."

Finn's eyes warmed over her. "Just promise me one thing - that you will become the star you truly are and shine so bright that people will not be able to look away, like the sun."

Rachel, tossing the folder onto the floor, moved over and rested her forehead against Finn's. His face was so open and loving, dedicated to the fact that she would be amazing one day, that she couldn't help but to feel that urge again. The need to be someone important and famous, a feeling that had dominated her life for the last sixteen years of her life until a week ago. It was coming back in her, but it was no longer for herself - it was for Finn. "I will, only if you promise me one thing."

"What is that?"

"That if you join the Army, you'll come back to me safely and alive." Finn tensed a little, but he only grinned and rubbed his nose against hers.

"I would never think of doing anything else but that," Finn joked and pulled her into his chest, kissing the top of her head as he did. Resting her face upon his pajama shirt, she could hear his strong heartbeat and his steady breathing. His scent, rich and thick, surrounded her and she breathed it in greedily. Everything that was Finn was with her now and she couldn't help but to smile.

And that was something worth living for, she decided as sleep and peace fell over her.

No longer that night was she bothered by nightmares, her dreams filled with crooked grins and smiling, cinnamon eyes.

Yes, I'm obsessed with Finn's/Cory's eyes, you'll just have to deal with it. Hope you review (I really like those)!