Disclaimer: I own only the plot of the story. The names of the characters belong to S.M.

CHAPTER 9 – Apart

BPOV

I thanked the Gods above that another hectic day had come to an end I would soon be home, taking a long, anticipated, relaxing bath. I was so tired, not only physically, but emotionally too. Ever since Jasper's crash, life had been a downward spiral to hell.

He was pushing everybody away stubbornly, hurting us immensely. I knew he was extremely lucky to come out of this ordeal with only that cursed scar on his face. But it bothered him so much, he was obsessed. He had become so self-conscious that I couldn't believe it myself.

I mean, he is Jasper Cullen; being a Cullen means people will always be taking about you or trying to bring you down. Why did he care so much about what other people said? And it wasn't a problem that couldn't be dealt with. Dad had assured him it could be surgically fixed soon, but Jasper refused to listen.

"I am not concerned about my looks," he once told me when I cornered him. "I will keep this scar as a reminder of my stupidity. I should have been more careful. I always drive recklessly. If Alice had been with me…she would be dead," was all he said, and retreated to his room, as usual.

To top it all, he managed to break Alice. Her pale face when she came out of his room two days ago will haunt me for forever. She never told me what happened that night, just kept everything inside her. But I could really her heart break over and over again, as we were driving away from my parents' house. The bond between them was so strong that unconsciously pulled them close. They could never stand being apart for more than a few hours, and being separated for so long was devastating them both.

She had locked herself into her room since we got home, and I never heard back from her again, except when I would call for her outside her door. She had declined any offers for food or company, blaming piled-up class work and fatigue. But I could hear her crying softly and calling my brother's name in her sleep, begging him to come. He could be so stubborn and stupid some times.

I sighed, thinking about my best friend and my brother, as I unlocked the door of our apartment. Hm, it seems I am the first one back from class. Usually Alice would be her before me. Probably she stayed to talk with Professor Jensen, since Jasper's hospital stay had caused her to lose a few assignments.

I put my keys at the coffee table and, taking my shoes off, walked into the apartment thinking about dinner. Maybe we should order some take-out, I thought, since one look inside our fridge had told me we needed to go food-shopping.

I should call her and see what time she would be back. I dialed her number, but went straight to voicemail. Probably still with her professor.

Absentmindedly, I walked through the parlor, where Edward's piano stood majestically, to go out at the veranda for some air and relaxation. I tried Alice's phone again; still nothing. A strange sense of foreboding washed over me, like something was wrong, but couldn't pinpoint it.

I looked around, scanning the room thoroughly. It seemed the same, and yet, it felt different. What is it, I wondered.

My eyes finally fell on the dining table, on top of which were a pretty vase and some framed photographs, courtesy of Alice, stood proudly. Except now a few photos were missing. I checked the room again and realized that everything that was Alice-related was gone; photos, her glass figurines from inside the glass cabinet dominating one side of the room, and all her personal purchases.

But why? There was only one possible reason and I was really scared to even consider it was the truth.

I ran to her room and burst through the door, my heart breaking as I took in the view in front of me. The room was bare of her belongings; her laptop, her books, her alarm, gone. I slowly opened her closet and, surely enough, it was empty.

I turned around tiredly, as the reality started sinking in. Alice, my best friend, my sister, was gone. I knew the demise of her relationship with Jasper was torturing her, but I never thought she would give up on him. It was so not…Alice-like.

I called her once more, but was directed to her voicemail.

"Oh, Alice…silly girl…" I whispered, feeling moisture gathering under my eyelids. "What were you thinking?"

I rubbed my face furiously thinking what I should do, when I saw something white lying on her bed. It was an envelope with my name on it, in Alice's familiar hand-writing. I gingerly picked it up and opened it, to find a letter for me.

"Dear Bella,

my best friend and sister. If you are reading this, then I have already left your house for good. I know it might seem cowardly to leave this way, but I just didn't have the strength to face you or Edward, not after the kindness and love you two have shown me.

I never really understood why you decided to talk to me that day, when you held that door open for me. No one else had bothered to do so. But I am grateful that you did. You have helped me a lot. You pulled me out of my shell and, for once, I felt alive, normal. I wasn't the crippled girl with you, I was just Alice, for the first time in my life.

You showed me what it means to be loved by someone, besides my parents. You were so kind to introduce me to your friends, who in turn became my friends, too. You took me to your house, to your parents, to your family.

And, on top of it all, you introduced me to an angel. An angel who, even for a short time, loved me and made me whole.

For all these things, I am now forever in your debt.

But all good things have to end, especially for me. I got a taste of heaven and happiness, only to have them ripped from my grasp. I never expected it to last, luck was never on my side. The only thing I have done in my life is to cause pain and heartache to the people around me.

Jasper's accident was the final straw to my ignorance. I have hurt him and your family by being near you. This is something I will never forgive myself for.

I decided to stop being selfish. By now, I have moved out of the apartment, taking everything that might remind you of me or my presence in your lives. It will be as if I never existed.

I will never bother you again. I will hurt you no more.

I am sorry…

Alice."

I stared at the paper in my hands, still not fully comprehending its content. My legs gave way and I fell backwards, bumping on the wall. I slowly slid down and found myself sitting on the floor, my back on the closet door, my face wet from tears I couldn't remember falling.

I calmed a bit after a few moments, and read the letter again, absorbing each word eagerly. By the end, I was crying my eyes out, shaking from sadness and anger. My heart was aching from Alice's sacrifice and heartbreak, while my mind was angry as hell at both Alice and Jasper.

Why did she think that leaving was the solution? Why didn't she stay to fight for him? And why on earth was she responsible for the crash? It wasn't even my brother's fault; the other driver caused it, despite Jasper's effort to avoid him. After all, that man was deranged. Jasper rescued Alice from him and James wanted revenge. Jasper knew it was a possibility that James would go after him, he had threatened my brother that night, before he escaped. But I knew my brother; even if he had a choice, he would always do the same and save her.

And Jasper…don't let me start on him and his idiocy. I couldn't believe that he allowed a few immature and cruel people to put a distance between him and his loved ones. Our family was always looked upon and envied for our looks and money.

Jasper had legions of girls swooning and following him around, but he never gave them a second glance. They weren't what he had been looking for. And the guys hated his guts for drawing all the attention to himself, even unwillingly, but he was never bothered. He was only minding his studies, his work and his family.

The crash and its consequences were the perfect chance for all those people to have their revenge. Merely by existing, Jasper was the enemy and they took great pleasure to strike him while at his lowest. He was a strong man, but he was only human, after all, with doubts and insecurities. It was only too much a person can take of malice and pettiness.

Carlisle assured him all too many times that, when the time was right and his wounds had fully healed, he could have his scars removed, and save himself all this pain and regret. He only had to be patient and everything would be okay.

I guess he couldn't take it anymore and tried to save himself the only way he could think of; by locking himself away from everybody, not considering the repercussions of his actions.

"Baby, I'm home," Edward's voice echoed inside the house. "Where are you?"

"In Alice's room," I answered weakly, but he heard me. Soon he was standing at the door. I didn't look at him, I didn't say a word. I just sat there, staring at the wall, Alice's letter still in my hand. I won't cry any more, I can't. I have no more tears left.

"Sweetheart? What are you doing here?" he asked. "What is going on? Where is Alice?" he went on, noticing the nakedness of the room.

I remained silent. I didn't have the courage to tell him the truth. I won't cry, I must be strong. He cared for Alice like a sister, and he would be hurt by her leaving. Still, he kneeled beside me and took me in his arms. It was at this precise moment where my resolve cracked and the dam holding back my sorrow broke down completely.

I cried loudly in his arms for everything; my brother, my best friend, my love, my family and friends. So many people were suffering due to a stranger's distorted mind.

I cried for a long time, soaking his shirt, Jasper's and Alice's names escaping my lips between sobs, until I ran dry and my throat was raw. Edward was still holding me tight, rubbing my back and arms soothingly. He kissed my forehead softly, and I raised my head to face him, only to be startled by his expression.

I never thought I would see Edward in so much pain. He looked as if he had lost a family member. And, in a sense, he had.

"My love…what happened here? I can't bear to see you in so much pain…It's tearing my heart…" he whispered. "Did you two have a fight?" he asked, glancing around the room.

I shook my head and passed him the crumbled letter. He took it and, with me tucked under his arm, started reading it. I waited for him to finish it all, my eyes never leaving his face. I could see clearly all the emotions I had felt, too, when I read it earlier; even a lone tear trickled down his cheek.

He cocked his face towards me and crashed his lips on mine. I let myself get lost in this kiss, full of love and sorrow. God, I love him so much. What would I do without him? He is my rock, my life, my everything. I was clinging on him like I was drowning and he was my lifesaver. With him by my side, my pain was more bearable. His low voice broke the silence inside the lonely room.

"Don't be mad at her. She is in so much pain, and overwhelmed by the guilt for her wrongly-assumed faults. She did what she thought was best for all of us. You know how little she thinks of herself and her wants."

I closed my eyes and let myself relax a bit more into his arms, while thinking of my response. "If my brother wasn't such an ass to everybody, none of this would have happened. I know that, after the crash, the girls were even more attracted to him, and jealous of his relationship to Alice. They thought that, by belittling and insulting her, he would see she was no good for him. Alice was tough and could care less, as long as she was with him.

"But my stupid overprotective brother couldn't stand seeing Alice subjected to their venom, and this was his brilliant idea to solve it; push Alice away, make her hate him so that she would move on."

"Jasper was always like that," Edward said, "he is your brother, for God's sake! He can be stubborn as a mule, and he hated being looked after by us." I tried to deny this, but he wouldn't have any of it.

"No, I am right and you know it. Hell, if I was in his shoes, I would probably have done the same thing! Now," he was thoughtful, "we can talk forever about the what-if's on the matter, but I believe we must concentrate on what can be done to rectify this.

"He loves Alice, he needs her, and vice versa. What can we do to make them both see their mistakes?"

I couldn't agree more. But what should we do? My eyes fell on the letter again, and it hit me. I tagged at my lover's shirt and he looked at me puzzled.

"Get up, honey," I told him, standing up. "I have to talk to Jasper. This is something I should have done a long time ago."

JPOV

I was furiously clicking the laptop keys, writing on one of my class projects. It was one of the few moments in my life that I could forget a bit about the hell I was living in since the crash. I never knew that people could be so mean to one another.

Of course, I never minded anything those imbeciles would say about me. But when they started picking on my Alice, it was then when I decided to save her from all this torture and let her be safe. She had suffered enough through her life due to her disability, she didn't need to face my mayhem, too.

Nevertheless, while it had been my decision to break things up with her, it still hurt like a bitch. I was calmed by the thought that she at least had the support of my family and friends to move on. I knew Bella and Edward would take good care of her. Not me…

The sound of my door bursting open jerked me out of my trance and I turned around to face the intruder, angry for the disruption.

"Bella?" I blinked at my livid-looking sister. What is her problem, I wondered. She was furious, it was obvious. What did she want now? I cowardly tuned my attention to my laptop, trying to figure out how to proceed on my work, ignoring her presence near me.

I was interrupted by a piece of folded paper thrown at my face.

"Happy now?" my sister sounded strange, broken, "you are so absorbed in your shit that you don't care about anybody else now. You pushed your family away and you managed to break the one person that made you happy. I hope you enjoy loneliness," she glared at me. "You've got what you wanted."

I picked the paper up cautiously, like it could set me on fire, and stared at it clueless. She sighed.

"She is…gone. Moved out of the house and out of our lives…for good," Bella answered my unspoken question, disappointment dripping from her voice, and strutted out of the room.

Frozen on the spot, I looked again at the letter in my hand. She left…This is not what I wanted for her. I just wanted me out of her life…Not her being all alone. I could never be with her; I had caused her so much pain…

I slowly unfolded the paper and Alice's neat handwriting danced in front of me. Dear Bella, it started out, and I was absorbed in it immediately. Every word, every bit of this letter was a stab in my heart. I couldn't believe her. My sweet selfish girl…Always blaming herself for everything.

I finished reading quickly enough, and by now I was bawling my eyes out. It wasn't very manly of me to cry like a baby, but I couldn't help it. Suddenly, I was being hit by everything I had said and done since the accident, and I was ashamed of myself. I never cared about appearances and looks, but my actions and attitude gave out the wrong impression.

When did I start caring about other people's opinions? My family and friends, the important people in my life, accepted me for who I am as a person, not my looks. When did I allow their hate get at me and dictate my behavior?

And my Alice…she simply adored me as I worshipped her. I had never felt happier than I had felt with her. How could I get so disillusioned to even think my looks mattered to her? And she was brave, defying cruelty all her life. She had assured me time and time again that my love gave her the strength to endure everything, even the fires of hell.

"These girls can bite all they want; they are just jealous of us and our love. They wish to be in my place, and will try anything to break us apart. But our love is my biggest power. I can take anything as long as you love me," she had told me, with a shy smile.

This was Alice, the most caring person in the whole wide world besides my family. When I was with her, I felt like the damned accident had never happened. Why on earth I didn't believe my own father when he had told me that those damned scars could be removed, and I would be good as new? Why, in my time of need, did I put up walls of pride and kept everybody I loved away from me?

"Oh, my God…" I screamed, crying harder now. "I have been so stupid." I had to find her, to talk to her. I needed to crawl in front of her, beg on my knees for her forgiveness. I was the one to blame for hurting everyone.

I pulled my cell out and called her, my hands trembling from anticipation. It rang four times before it was directed to voicemail. I tried again, still the same. She was obviously screening her calls. What did you expect, my mind sneered at me. I shut my phone and leaned forward, my head resting on my hands. I have destroyed us…me and my stupid pride…I shoved a hand into my mouth, to muffle the frustrated roar that had built inside my chest.

I was so mad I wanted to murder someone. Just because some psycho decided to come after me, innocent people had to pay. I let my life become a mess and there was no easy way out of it. My parents and my sister, my friends, they all might forgive me.

But not Alice; I had hurt her beyond forgiveness. I knew how much she loved me, yet I cruelly let her believe I didn't care for her anymore. I had really crushed her spirit and I would never be able to atone myself for my sins. Unless…

I stood up abruptly and run down the stairs, screaming Bella's name. Strangely enough, she took pity on me and called out for me.

"In the library, Jazz!"

I entered the room and stopped, finding all the peopled that matter, except one, there. I looked each and every one of them, and they all wore the same desolate expression. Disappointment and…hope? I immediately understood.

"I guess you all know what happened," I said somberly. They nodded, still staring at me. After a while, it became too much and I started squirming.

"Please, stop it! Yell, scream, curse at me! I deserve it! Just, stop with the stink-eye!" I pleaded.

"You value yourself too highly, my friend," Rosalie sneered. I was taken aback with her animosity.

"What the hell, Rose? I know I screwed up! I may be too late, but I have finally come to my senses. I am so sorry for treating you all so badly for so long. You raised me better," I said addressing my parents. "But somehow, I let my fears and my twisted sense of protectiveness rule me and I forgot everything you have taught me is important in life.

"I have allowed meaningless people define me. They managed to get at me and, by association, Alice. I stupidly believed that, by distancing myself from her, she wouldn't suffer from their abuse. She deserves to be happy."

"But, don't you see?" Rose yelled at me, "you are her happiness! You are her strength. As long as you stand by her side, and you love her, she fears nothing! She was willing to go through fire and ice for you!" She was so angry, her body stance in full strike mode. Thank God Emmett was there to hold her back.

"Baby, stop…Enough! He has wronged everybody, he knows it and he is truly sorry," he gestured at my defeated form. "We can yell all we want at him later, after this whole thing is over and done with. Now he needs to talk to her and explain everything. He has an eternity to earn her forgiveness," he said pointedly.

"First, he has to get her to talk to him. She has made it clear in her letter that she will avoid us at all costs," my sister sniffled. Edward patted her hand in encouragement, and turned his gaze at me. He had remained silent until now.

"We all have to keep trying to get her to listen. Never give up. She will cave in, eventually. She loves you and misses us too much. She is only doing this to protect you from her bad luck." He paused and his face darkened before he continued. "I want my sister back. Do what you must."

We all nodded in agreement. "Operation Alice" was on.

Three weeks later…

APOV

Miserable…Unhappy…Alone…Three words that described my life best ever since I had cut myself out of the Cullens' lives. I stuck with my decision and avoided any contact with them at all costs. Of course, it was easier said than done since our paths seemed to collide all the time.

Ever since I moved out, each one of them had tried separately to talk to me, but I had refused to even acknowledge them, lest I would cave in.

A few times, I was lucky enough to see him again. My Jasper…No, I scolded myself, he isn't mine anymore. He didn't want me; too many bad memories were attached to me. Though I did caught him staring intently at me, his baby blue eyes burning me inside out, and my heart missed a beat, as I was lost into him.

Then, I remembered the image of a banged up Jasper in a hospital room, or the reclusive Jasper I saw that last night in his room, and the spell was broken. I averted my stare away from him and walked away, unable to hold back my tears. My heart was shuttering at every encounter, as I was reminded of what I had and lost.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it was your fault, my mind kept reminding me. I wasn't supposed to be happy or loved, and by tasting this side of life, I brought my bad luck to everybody. It is for the best, I assured myself. He is better off. Soon I will be forgotten and he will find happiness with someone else, someone who will be worthy of him.

Yeah, keep telling that and I might believe it, I thought bitterly. Who was I kidding? I loved him, he was my life, my reason to live. How could I go on without my heart? How could I exist without my soul?

JPOV

I was dead…numb…lost. I missed her, I craved for her, I needed her like the air that I breathed. She was my life force and, without her, I was fighting just to go through another day.

I kept myself busy, attending classes and working on my projects, hoping that I might bump on Alice around campus. Not much luck. I only saw her a few times from afar, and every time, I froze like my feet were glued to the ground. I wanted so much to go to her, to talk to her, to hold her in my arms again, but I couldn't. I could only stare at her, storing her image in my mind for keeps.

She was always alone, sad, forlorn. She kept to herself, drowning in her class work. Her face was even paler, her eyes were dim, her spark was gone and she was never smiling; this wasn't the Alice I had come to know and love, and this was cutting me to the core.

I had done this to Alice, I was the bastard. How could I ever think that staying away was best for her or for me? How could I explain my reasoning to her and expect her to forgive me? She was avoiding me like the plague, as if her life depended on it. It hurt, and it hurt me bad.

I had lost my girl…my love…and I was the only one to blame…

BPOV

"Ok, this is beyond ridiculous! They love each other, and they suffer by being separated. Their selfishness and pride keep them apart. At least Jasper has realized his mistakes and is dying just to ask for her forgiveness. But she is too damn stubborn and feeling guilty to talk to him, even to tell him off! We have to do something. I can't just stand by and let them suffer," Rosalie was ranting at me, while I listened patiently.

"I agree," I said, "but how?"

Rosalie remained silent for some time, lost in her thoughts. "Alice is now staying at her old room with Jessica," she shuddered, thinking of the stupid Stanley girl, "who told me Alice is miserable. She is barely functioning, keeping herself buried under her work. Jessica even told me that she has often heard Alice cry in her sleep, calling his name. Bella, this is so wrong!"

"Jasper is no better. He tries keeping up the façade of the strong man. But sometimes, I can hear him too, calling out her name at night, begging her to come back. It's breaking my heart to listen to his pain, Rose," I added in a low voice.

"We have to make her stop and listen. She keeps her distance from all of us, she doesn't want to make us choose between Jasper and her." Silly, selfless girl…didn't she realize how much we care for her? That she is family, too?

Rosalie nodded in agreement. "The problem is how to achieve this. We can't confront at the campus area, she would feel embarrassed. Maybe we should go to her dorm room, when she will be alone…" she trailed off, a light bulb of inspiration going off in her head.

"I've got a better idea! We should go at her room, in the pretense to take her out for a coffee, and then we sweep her to your parents' house. Just make sure he won't be there, so that she won't feel uncomfortable. And I hope the surrounding scenery will help her relax and be more accepting of our talk."

"Yes, this might just work," I grinned enthusiastically. "It's the only way. She might hate us for a while, but she will be thanking us in the end."

Rosalie smiled back, checking her watch. "We have to go to class. Call me when the meeting is set. Bye." She left quickly and I followed her example. As I entered the hall, my eyes fell on Alice, sitting in her usual spot. She was staring at me, too, and I could see her clearly.

She was…empty, drained of life. She was there but she wasn't. She was sitting in the middle of a whole class, full of people, but she looked isolated, left out.

Oh, Alice, I pleaded internally, let me come. Talk to me…

As if she had heard my unspoken plea, she closed her eyes and, shaking her head, turned her face to her desktop. I started walking towards my seat, which meant I had to pass by her side on my way up. When I was next to her, she whispered something, only for me to hear.

"It's better this way."

I stopped dead in my tracks. Her head was still hanging low, but her cheeks were glistening with tears. Putting my hand on her shoulder, I lowered myself to her eye-level.

"You are wrong," I whispered back, making her flinch. "We are all miserable and unhappy since you left, especially Jasper."

Her hands immediately flew to cover her ears.

"Please…" she begged and I knew what she wanted. Even hearing his name caused her protective walls to sway and come crashing down. I pried her hands away and took my chance.

"We must talk…sister."

A fresh wave of tears and a small nod was my answer. At last.