Chapter 11: "Candy Canes and Cookies: Part 2"

I'd like to apologize for such a short chapter. I have been very busy!

Tino leaned his head gently on Berwald's shoulder as the pair watched some cheesy Christmas movie they were playing on TV. Tino was definitely content with this, and faced no inner turmoil. The same could not be said for Berwald.

He wasn't paying attention to the movie at all, really, but was thinking about this circumstance. He was staying the night with Tino. What did that mean? Did that mean he'd sleep with him? Did it mean he'd sleep with him? Was he supposed to make some sort of move on the other man or would that be wrong to do on Christmas eve?

He wasn't sure. Berwald had been waiting for so long, though, and he'd definitely thought about making a move. More prominent than kissing, that is. He always imagined what it would be like to touch Tino, but now that he was so close and so accessible, he wasn't sure what to actually do.

"Ber, do you want some hot chocolate? I can make some."

Berwald snapped out of his thoughts and nodded, watching for a moment as Tino walked away. He could hear him humming as he put a kettle on the stove. He seemed so happy. Berwald didn't want to mess the night up with a wrong move. But then again, it was Tino who'd asked him to stay in the first place.

What does that have to do with anything?

Berwald shook his head faintly and waited patiently until Tino came back with two mugs of hot chocolate. He smiled and sat back down, replacing his head on Berwald's shoulder. This time, Berwald wrapped an arm around his shoulders. It wasn't demanding or tight, but was relaxed and easy. Almost unsure. Tino immediately scooted closer, though, and before Berwald could do anything else, Tino's lips were pressed to his cheek.

"Tino?"

Tino grinned and kissed the side of his lips softly, ignoring the other man only for a moment. "Yes? What is it?"

Berwald turned and pulled Tino into an embrace, pressing a kiss to his lips bravely. Tino just grinned more and wrapped his arms around his neck tightly, giving him light kisses on his neck. "Aw, Ber! You're so sweet." He kept kissing his neck and his jawline, not showing any hesitation. "I'm so happy you're here."

Berwald was happy he was there, too. He hadn't been shown affection in over a year, and here Tino was, constantly kissing and nuzzling and hugging. He almost felt guilty for accepting it all. Tino was so perfect and he was…

Just himself. Quiet, reserved, and somewhat cold. Tino was the complete opposite. Loud, outgoing, and incredibly warm. He was everything he couldn't be but wished for. He completed him.

The two stayed on the couch for a few minutes, sharing slow, passionate kisses. Tino was practically in Berwald's lap by now, but Berwald definitely didn't mind. After a while longer, Tino pulled away and smiled at him. "Hey, Berwald?"

"Yes?"

Tino reached up, cupped his cheek, and chuckled nervously. "You know I care, don't you? About you, I mean. And I know we haven't known each other for that long but I think you're really different. You're nice and quiet and you aren't just trying to hook up with me and I like that."

Berwald nodded and hesitantly put a hand over Tino's. He didn't know what to say.

"And I just really like you. A lot."

"I like you, too."

That was basically a lie. Berwald loved Tino so much and he was still too afraid to say anything about it, so he kept his mouth shut for now.

Tino was silent for a moment before speaking softly again. "Berwald, I'm sorry if you thought that tonight was going to turn into something else. I'm not very sexy and I'm not very good at initiating things and I'm just really tired and I'm sorry!"

It took Berwald a moment to understand what he was talking about, and when he finally understood, he said, "You don't owe me anything. Don't be sorry."

Tino held onto his arm and kissed his shoulder, then said, "But I am. I don't mean to be a prude."

"You're smart," he replied. He knew it wasn't good to sleep with someone he didn't give a shit about and he didn't want Tino to do that. It wasn't fair to him. But then he couldn't help but wonder if Tino did, in fact, care about him.

Sex doesn't equal care.

Berwald took a deep breath. That was true. And besides, Tino was probably just being careful. It was a good thing that they were taking this slow. It had only been four months, after all. And neither were interested in hooking up. It would just take time.

"Thank you so much, Ber. It's really hard for me to even date. Everyone wants instant gratification and sex and it makes me so nervous to not provide that."

Berwald pulled Tino into another embrace and just held him, letting him know that it was okay. "I understand."

After a few seconds, Tino said, "You still like me, then, trooper?"

"Very much."

Tino grinned cheerfully and squeezed Berwald's hand tightly, pleased with the answer. "Good. I worry, you know?"

Berwald nodded and for a while, they sat in silence again, just enjoying each others company.

"Berwald!"

Tino shook the other mans shoulder gently and whispered louder. "Berwald, wake up!"

Berwald groaned and turned onto his side away from Tino, who was still shaking his shoulder. "Berwald, wakey shakey! Eggs and bakey!" He kissed his cheek over and over again. Finally, he sat up, rubbing his nose and reaching for his glasses. Tino giggled and got up, smiling like he had a secret. Berwald looked him up and down, looked behind the couch, then looked forward and squinted. "What is it, Tino?"

Tino pursed his lips and gave a little shrug before pulling out a box wrapped in pretty gold paper. "Merry Christmas, Berwald. I hope this is the best one you've had. Even if you slept on an old couch."

Berwald took the gift, his eyes not leaving Tino's. He felt so guilty. He hadn't even thought about a gift for Tino because he didn't think he'd even be seeing him on Christmas. He blushed at his falter and tried to give the gift back, but Tino shook his head. "Nope! It's all yours, Ber."

"Tino, I-"

"Nope, nope, nope! Open it."

Tino was so excited and so cheery that Berwald could no longer protest. He opened the present, revealing a thick book on woodworking and a gift card to a hardware store. In all honesty, Berwald didn't need the book, but he was so stunned by getting a gift at all that he said nothing. He didn't move. He just sat on the couch, staring at the gift.

"Thank you," he finally managed. Tino sat next to him and said, "You like it?" He was clearly nervous.

". . . I love it."

Tino beamed once more and hugged him. "I thought you would! Merry Christmas!"

Berwald cleared his throat and looked at him, hugging him back and holding him like he was the most important thing in the world. Because in a way, he was. He was the most important thing in Berwald's life. Suddenly, Berwald felt like he couldn't breathe. Like there was a lump in his throat. The feeling was foreign, but not completely unfamiliar.

He kissed Tino gently and tightened his hold on him so he couldn't turn around for the time being as one small tear slid down his cheek. Luckily, Tino never noticed and continued to smile brightly, clutching onto the other man like he couldn't stand to ever release him.