This fanfic chapter was published on September 11, 2008.
JEONG JEONG: Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully automated JEONG JEONG unit. To ensure you get the full benefits of your Firebender, Firebending Master, Ex-Admiral, and Deserter. Please pay close attention to the following instructions.
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Basic Information:
Name: JEONG JEONG
Date of Manufacture: About 65 years ago; exact date is unknown
Place of Manufacture: Unknown
Nationality/Ethnicity: Fire Nation (It's unknown if he is from the homeland or the colonies)
Height: About 5'7"
Weight: Won't allow to be weighed
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Your JEONG JEONG unit will come with the following accessories:
One (1) Set of ratty clothes
One (1) Metal shack (some assembly required)
A dozen or so candles
One (1) Tea set (sorry only one (1) cup included)
One (1) Tent for "old people camp"
One (1) Order of the White Lotus outfit
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Programming:
Your JEONG JEONG unit is not much of a versatile unit anymore due to becoming a deserter but is very proficient with the few skills he has. With the right coaxing you can get him to perform various tasks.
Firebender: (Default Program) Can be used for a wide range of things that will usually involve fighting. But can also be used as a heating source and a lighting source during those annoying power outages at night when you can't find a flashlight.
Firebending Master: Your JEONG JEONG unit has been a master firebender since his teens and has a substantial amount of experience. Can be used to teach AANG units how to firebend. Or rather the basics anyways because he takes forever teaching discipline first with breathing exercises and feeling the sun; that an AANG unit probably won't have time for.
WARNING: We are not responsible if your/an AANG unit burns a nearby a KATARA unit.
Order of the White Lotus Member: Your JEONG JEONG unit is a part of a centuries old secret society that believes in philosophy and beauty and is against the war. Along side 4 other OWL members (the other 2 are actually Fire Nation citizens as well) he will help take back Ba Sing Sei.
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Your JEONG JEONG unit has five (5) settings:
Calm: (Primary default setting) While your JEONG JEONG often gets angry he is surprisingly calm and mainly uses passive aggression. You will see your JEONG JEONG unit meditating during most of his waking hours.
Angry: (Secondary default setting) Will be triggered by either impatient firebending students, CHEY units when they bring strangers with him to his hideout, anyone that wanders into his hideout, ZHAO units anywhere within a 2 mile radius, about the fact that he became a firebender and not some other kind of bender like a waterbender for instance. Oh hell; what are we saying? Just about anything will piss off your JEONG JEONG unit.
Sorrow: He will be on this setting whenever he thinks about ever teaching ZHAO units, an AANG unit that he just taught accidentally burns someone, or just the fact that he considers fire to be the element of destruction and a burden to bare for as a firebender.
Frightened: If an avatar manifestation of a ROKU unit shows up criticizing your JEONG JEONG unit for calling the current Avatar weak.
Happy: Right before outwitting someone or when with other White Lotus members is when you will see a happy JEONG JEONG unit.
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Relations with other units: Your JEONG JEONG unit is not really a friendly unit until you get to know him and gain his trust and is compatible with only a few other units that are not OWL members.
CHEY: It seems that their relationship is not as on good terms as a CHEY unit would lead you to believe. A CHEY unit might not even be the #2 guy in his gang of deserters because it seems that a JEONG JEONG unit is willing to give him the shaft and abandon camp without even telling him; plus he doesn't even know whether your JEONG JEONG unit use to be a general or an admiral.
LING YI: This may be the more likely candidate that is your JEONG JEONG unit's #2 in his gang seeing as he basically has the same attitude. He will work for your JEONG JEONG unit as his lead personal security guard at his hideout.
NOTICE: You will most likely to forget this unit ever existed in the first place about 5 minutes after meeting one and will need this guide incase he shows up and talks to your JEONG JEONG unit a second time.
AANG: Will make it very clear to any AANG unit if he has not mastered water and earthbending yet, that he is not ready to learn firebending. But is likely to give in after speaking to a manifestation of a ROKU unit and making him spend an entire day of deep breathing exercises and standing out in the sun. Sadly it will be the keep the edges of the leaf from burning trick.
(ADMIRAL) ZHAO: Your JEONG JEONG unit taught at least one ZHAO unit how to firebend and apparently he regrets not teaching him enough discipline when it comes to controlling his firebending. These two units have since gone their completely separate ways and now hate each other.
KATARA: It seems that your JEONG JEONG unit wishes to be a waterbender like a KATARA unit is and is aware that she has healing abilities if she accidentally discovers it; even if that KATARA unit has never even heard of it and it's the first one he has talked to.
(MASTER) PAKKU?: Seriously JEONG JEONG units are almost the Fire Nation version of a PAKKU unit. You have to wonder if at one of their OWL meetings they got together and discussed the importance of all their students following their strict discipline and rules or not be taught at all; even if it were the Avatar. Presumably of course, several years ago when the threat of the return of Sozin's Comet was less eminent.
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Cleaning:
Your JEONG JEONG unit is fully capable of cleaning himself; although it appears that he doesn't do it that often. But if you wish to do it yourself do not machine wash, wash only in hot water, do not tumble dry, do not hang on the line to dry.
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Energy:
Since bending uses up a lot of chi, make sure that he is fed thrice daily.
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Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: How can my JEONG JEONG unit see what I am doing when he has his back turned to me or is in another room? Does he have eyes in the back of his head or something?
A: No but we know that he has a motion detector. However that still doesn't explain his ability to tell what you're doing in another room and that is a question we don't have an answer for.
Q: Is that a tree growing in my JEONG JEONG unit's shack? And how did it get there or am I imagining things?
A: No that tree is real. Either he built his shack around it or he planted it in his shack and somehow got it to grow. Why he would do this is anyone's guess.
Q: What is with my JEONG JEONG unit's opinion of firebending? It's this living, horrible thing that's hard to control. Yet its power comes from the sun which is needed to sustain life and is contradictory about fire only being destructive.
A: It is interesting to note that a JEONG JEONG unit's philosophy is surprisingly similar to what the Sun Warriors believe for a "modern" firebender. Like the Sun Warriors he strongly emphasizes the sun's importance and thinks of fire as being alive. The one critical thing that is missing is that your JEONG JEONG unit only sees the destructive side of firebending where as the Sun Warriors see both the destructive and life giving sides of firebending.
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Troubleshooting:
Problem: Your JEONG JEONG unit is having problems keeping people out of his hideout.
Solution: There are three (3) ways to solve this problem; 1. Get a LING YI unit to be his security guard to keep out intruders. 2. Chase off any CHEY units or hide your JEONG JEONG unit; tell him that he relocated since there is a good chance that a CHEY unit is bringing people to his hideout. 3. Install a firewall and we don't mean the computer kind (your JEONG JEONG unit can provide you with this).
Problem: It appears that your JEONG JEONG unit is insane and you don't know what to do about it.
Solution: Arrange an Order of the White Lotus meeting either at your place or somewhere else. JEONG JEONG units appear to be calmer and saner when around other OWL members for some odd reason.
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With proper care and maintenance, your JEONG JEONG unit should continue to be a firebending master; teaching anyone he deems worthy as well as encourage more Fire Nation solders to become deserters like him.