Once again, the entire cast of Dynasty Warriors are gathered together. This time they are standing uncomfortably in the charred remains of what was once the Wu throne room. *smash* Random bits of ceiling and burnt out fireworks fall to the ground as everyone dodges*.
Zhu Ran:*struggling with the ropes tied around him* Hey!let me go! It's not my fault you guys don't appreciate the wonders of FIRE! *sulks* Sheesh, why is Xun the only one to appreciate my renovation skills?
Lu Meng: *anger vein explodes* SILENCE! One pyro is enough! *slams duct tape over Zhu Ran's mouth*
Zhu Ran: Mmph!hmph!mmmph!mmm! [translation: Hey! Stop! get it off meeeee!]
Everyone: *murmur* why are we even here again? Didn't Mei go on holiday and never come back?*whisper* Don't say her name or she'll come back to terrorise us..*looks around just in case*
Dong Zhuo: Mwahaaha! That means all the women can be MINE! mwahahaa Diaochaaa-bguh!*gets sent flying*
Lu Bu+ Lu Lingqi+ all married men: *smoke blows from their fists* hmph.
And as expected, Dong Zhuo was sent flying again, though this time it appears the addition of Lu Lingqi has made him fly even further! and look! he's become a shooting star!
Xiaoqiao: oh! oh! Yu-baby! A shooting star! let's make a wish! *giggles* hmm~ ah! I wish that Mei will come back! It's been kinda borin-mmph! *Zhou Yu slams his hand over her mouth*
Zhang Fei: What? no wine? Psh. I'm leaving. *grabs a wine bottle snuck over by Liu Bei but is stopped by Xingcai*
*crash* A sudden thundering sound echoed through the ruined throne room as Zhang Fei smashed into the wall. *smash* the entire thing fell to the ground, sending a shower of dust on everyone as a shifty shadow emerged from a magical portal.
Mei: I'm..BAAAAAAAAACKKKK! *smiles evilly* Missed me? *giggles* I mean who else would do the narrating? *smack* oww! who threw a wine bottle at me? *evil smile*
Everyone: ...*all stare at in horror*..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Teehee~ Awww no need to be shy! Well then, shall we begin the randomness? :D *taps microphone* oh my! Feels like it's been awhile since I used this! *ahem* Hellloooo~ to celebrate my reaching 11 chapters and my return...*drumroll* welcome to the very first Dynasty Warriors Grand Tournament Battle Showdown Royale!
Ok~ now onto the rules for this special tournament! it'll be boring to have an old fashioned showdown right? *some members nod in agreement* teehee~ so...it'll be a husband vs waifu battle!
All married couples: what? again?
Certain individuals: Ohh please no cooking again...
oh you people! you call yourselves warriors?this time will be...a different match depending on the couple! lets go!~
Everyone: *groans loudly*
Match 1~
Ok! First up will be Xingcai! Could your husband please come on up?
Xingcai: *frowns and looks at the Shu stand *which one? *points to Liu Shan* Him? or *points to Guan Ping* him?
Guan Ping:...
Liu Shan: ...I wanna play kemari..
Hmm, well since Mei likes you with Guan Ping and KOEI likes you (sorta) with Liu Shan, let's bring them both up!Ok! This will be a battle of speed!Courtesy of the wonderful Py-chan, your mission is to escape this maze in the fastest time!Let's go!
*Everyone watches as a maze suddenly appears out of nowhere and a giant stadium with HD TVs also appears*
Xingcai: *charges through the maze* This shouldn't be worse than the Stone Sentinel Maze
Guan Ping: For my father! I'll make it through this maze first!
In audience, Guan Yu rubbed his beard and spoke solemenly "but my son, you're adopted." Somehow the microphone in Mei's hands caught onto that sentence and transmitted it to the inside of the maze.
Guan Ping:...! *trembles* F-father...*falls down crying*...I'm...adopted? *cries in the corner*
Oh my! Looks like Guan Ping is out of the race! We've still got Liu Shan and Xingcai, so let's see who'll be the winner!
Liu Shan: ...ooh, this is so cool! la la la la la~ *skips around happily*
Xingcai: *charges straight past him* My lord! Please try not to get too lost in the maze. *sighs* I'll have to come back and rescue you again.
Liu Shan : *Nods happily* don't worry Xingcai! oh! A butterfly! *runs after butterfly* come baaaaack! *disappears* Preeeettty buttterrrfllyyyyyyy!
Ahhh! Liu Shan! not there! not there! Don't run towards that glowing light! noooooo!
Everyone watched intently as Liu Shan, focused on chasing that butterfly ran straight into a warphole towards the Orochi universe.
Liu Bei:...b-benevolence?
Well, that was a little unfortunate..*whistles* now, shall we continue with the commentation? oh my! Looks lik Xingcai is running out of patience and is cutting down the walls with her weapon! ...wait! hey! Since when could the walls be broken down? *dials KOEI*
KOEI : The number you have dialled is not available. Please check the number and try ag-*slam*
Gah! I hate that robotic voice! *gasp* where did Xingcai go? ahh! she's running towards the warphole and trying to rescue Liu Shan! **gasp* did you see that? She kicked Guan Ping out of the way like he was a soccer ball!
Zhang Fei: *charges like a mad bull towards the warphole* XINGCAIIIIIIIIIII! DADDY WILL SAVE YOU! BAO! Get going!
Zhang Bao: *Struggles while carrying wine bottles* but...*sigh*..
[Match 1 Winner: N/A]
~Match 2~
The extremely popular tsundere of Jin will be up against none other than her absolutely wonderful husuband... Sima Zhao! *applause* now! onto the important part! teehee! you wouldn't want to miss out on hearing the rules right? This time it'll be a battle of wits! teehee~ my, this will be fun to watch!
Sima Zhao:...*Scratches head* a battle of wits you say?...ugh...*rubs neck*...hey, can I switch? *shuffles away from Yuanji *please?
Hmm...I'm tempted to allow this..buuutt...rules...say...that you can't so -*gasp* w-wha? *Sima Zhao creeps onto the stage* you mean you'll give me the exclusive photobook of Wen Yang's sleeping faces? *nods intently* mmhmm...eh? oh! teehee! silly me! I forgot to mute the microphone! *scrrrreeech!*
Everyone: *winces and covers ears* hey, what're they talking about up there?
Wen Yang: *somewhat panicked* Lord Zhao took photos of me when I was asleep?...*silence*... ...*spaces out*
Ok! There's been a few...minor changes to this match...due to..umm special ! Jia Chong and Sima Zhao will be a team against Wang Yuanji!
Angry contestants :hey! that's not fair! He bribed you!
W-wha? *hides photobooks behind back* There's no evidence!I said so! *ahem* well, without further ado, let's begin! Each team will be given a special item to hold onto. Don't lose it now! The winner will be the one who can outsmart the other and claim both items for themselves! let's go!
~x~x~x~
Ah! We should see who has what item right?
Sima Zhao+Jia Chong: ..huh? a baozi?
Somewhere in the audience, Sima Shi had to be restrained as his inner baozi addict cried for the baozi.
Wang Yuanji: ...*frowns*...I got a firework and matches?
Somewhere in the audience, two pyros had to be restrained and dragged out by security. Another person also had to take half a bottle of headache pills. Anyways! Shall we continue? I wonder how our teams will tackle this challenge? Will the waifu beat the husband/advisor combo? *munches on popcorn*
Wang Yuanji: *thinks for a moment* Jia Chong. *looks at him and then at Sima Zhao*
Jia Chong: *gives a shifty smile* I understand My lady. *pulls out his axes*
Sima Zhao:*panicking* w-wait! Yuanji! why? H-hey! Jia Chong! I swear I'll stop being so lazy and do all the paperwork for o-gyyaah!
Jia Chong: *troll smirk* I wonder about that Zhao...*axes go flying towards Zhao and chase him around the stadium*
What's this? An amazing turn of events! Wang Yuanji has somehow managed to get Jia Chong to betray Sima Zhao! aah! suspense! What will happen next?
Wang Yuanji: *waves the Zhao/Chong team's baozi in the air* Hmm. *sets fire to the baozi*
*gasp* that was too easy! Wang Yuanji is indeed a formidable opponent! Shhh!stop crying Sima Shi! get your mother to make you some baozi! ...huh? it's blasphemous to fry them?...well...g-go tell your sister-in-law that!
[Match 2 Winner : Wang Yuanji]
~Match 3~
Now onto the next one~ It's a special request from FlamingBadass00 aka Py-chan shall be up against her husuband Xiahou Ba! Hmm, this time will be a pyro contest! First one to successfully light the Dong Zhuo statue on fire *ignores Dong ZHuo's angry yelling* will be the winner!
Xiahou Ba:...huh?
Lu Xun+ Zhu Ran: did someone say...FIRE? *eyes gleam and pull out pyro tools*
Security shows up to confiscate the tools and drive away the Lu Xun X Zhu Ran fangirls from the arena.
Lu Xun+Zhu Ran: *sob and hug each other crying*
Fangirls: *nosebleed and start writing up fanfics and drawing fanart for tumblr*
Hey! Who let these fujoshi in? Security! ...ok! let the battle begin~~
Xiahou Ba: huh? I'm up against you? errrr...*looks at Mei*...can I run away this time?
What are you saying? No running! anyways, your father is watching so make him proud!
Xiahou Yuan: That's my son! now get out there and win!
Xiahou Ba: Yeah! I'll win! I'll set fire to the Dong Zhuo statue and everything else!
Py-chan: XD I bet I'll beat you! *grabs flamethrowers and covers the entire stadium in flames*
Dong Zhuo: MAGGOTS! how dare you burn down a statue of ME? *gets escorted out by security*
*gasp* Py-chan! What are you...*evil smirk* doing? *hides face behind the schedule sheet* ah hah! I think I know what you're planning...*searches for camera*
Whats this? It seems Xiahou Ba was far too focused on his goal that he...completely blocked out everything except for wanting to win!
Xiahou ba: *fans self* oh it's so hot! *takes off helmet and some armour*
Xiahou Ba fangirls; *wink* no, you're the one who's hot.
Oh my! Looks like the heat is getting to Xiahou Ba, well then again he's wearing a whole suit of armour! and guess what kiddies, metal gets hot when its near fire !*nosebleeds*
All the fangirls , Py-chan and Mei the NOT perverted author (I'm very pure hearted!) stare as Xiahou Ba takes off his shirt and fans himself. *kyaaaaaa* abs! he has nice abs!
Xiahou Ba: *turns red* noo! give me back my armour!..um..please?
No. No way! not when I can see all this hotness! *grabs camera* *evil smile* This will be just perfect for the next fanservice pack *mehehehe*
Wen Yang: *ahem* well, since this battle has...*spaces out* gotten out of hand I'll make it a draw. *looks sad*...everyone wins..
*gasp*Yang! I haven't forgotten about yooouuu! *hides camera* oh this? teehee~ that's just for ...bribes.
~Match 4~
Ohoho! Next up we have Sima Yi and his perfect waifu Zhang Chunhua! Seeing as well...I'm running out of ideas, you two will have a staring contest! Let's begin!
Sima Yi: *sweats nervously and glances at Zhang Chunhua*
Zhang Chunhua: *remains smiling at him without breaking eye contact* Calm down my lord. *smiles*
Sima Yi: *Sweats even more*
Zhang Chunhua: *smile widens*
Sima Yi: Mm...mwaha...mwahaha...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!-gah!
he blinked! Sima Yi blinked! and Zhang Chunhua wins!
[Match 4 winner: Zhang Chunhua]
and looks like the contest has come to an end! *rushes to PS4* ok! now I'm going to be super busy playing Far Cry 4! see you all my wonderful readers! ah! and if you have any ideas or requests tell meeeee!