The sparring ring. Not a place you would normally find a child, but with the amount of fires Justin had started over the past few weeks it seemed as good an outlet as any. Alyssa had of cause given him basic mental exercises, but he needed a physical outlet before he burned the keep down. To make sure that Duncan wasn't feeling like he was being pushed aside Alyssa had arranged training for him as well. Duncan was only eight and far too young to be taught how to use weapons in Alyssa's opinion. But Justin was far younger than Duncan and needed the training now. She couldn't find any way to justify to Duncan why he could not be allowed to train. She had decided on letting him train with a two-handed wooden sword. A choice she was already regretting since the only one who could teach him was Oghren. She could already hear all the inappropriate comments coming from her son's mouth. With all her responsibilities she didn't have time to teach Justin herself. Luckily a few years ago she had found her old friend, Jowan and recruited him into the order. After the incident with Arl Eamond and Colin, he had really tried to change his way. She still felt bad for him, because of what happened with Lily and sometimes even felt responsible. Now she was relieved that she had gotten the chance to help him. She had been sitting by the desk, going over trade deals and some letters from the warden base in Amaranthine. Nathanial Howe was put in charge there after the orlisian wardens was sent home when trouble started stirring between Ferelden and Orlais. Now she wanted to see how the children were doing. Honestly she didn't know if she was looking forward to it or dreading it, but hopefully it would keep them out of mischief.
She had barely entered the training grounds before a fire bolt came flying towards a target dummy next to the one Duncan was training with. Oghren looked more than a little surprised and to be honest so was Alyssa. Justin had not yet turned five and for him to be so strong was unusual. She reminded herself that it was probably due to the taint, a thought that continued to sadden her. Sigrun was standing next to the ring and was laughing at the spectacle. Alyssa went over and stood next to Sigrun.
" 'EY! Watch it sparklefingers!" Oghren roared.
"Yeah, sparklefingers! This is my dummy." Duncan grumbled.
"Sorry..." Justin mumbled.
"That was very good, Justin, but you need to concentrate so that you can determine the size of the fire bolt. There is no reason for you to use so much of you mana for one single target." Jowan smiled.
Justin nodded and then began to yawn. It had obviously tired him. He saw Alyssa and ran to her with a proud smile.
"Did you see my big fire bolt?"
"I did. You did well. Just promise me you won't start throwing them inside."
"I promise."
"You should be proud, Justin. That one would have rivalled even Anders'." Sigrun smiled.
"Who is Anders?"
"He was a warden a long time ago. He was the first mage I ever recruited into the order." Alyssa smiled.
"Was he good?"
"All wardens are good, but he was very good yes. He was better with healing magic though. You look tired sweetheart. Jowan, will you take him inside, please? I would like to watch Duncan for a while."
Jowan nodded and took Justin's hand. When they were out of hearing range Sigrun let out a sigh.
"I miss him. It's funny. He wasn't with us for more than a year, but I still miss him... and Justice."
"I know. Before Amaranthine the only warden I really knew was Alistair. He used to speak about the bond between wardens. I never fully understood that until we formed our little group."
"When I joined the legion I never thought of having a family again, but the wardens became my family."
"Yes and Anders was the sarcastic cousin who would flirt with everyone." Alyssa giggled.
"Warden-commander."
Alyssa turned around and saw one of the low ranking wardens coming towards her.
"Yes?"
"The mage delegate from Denerim is here."
"Thank you. I'll be right back Sigrun."
She walked to the entrance and saw her distant cousin smiling at her. She greeted her with a big hug.
"Bethany! It is so good to see you."
"You to, Alyssa. I brig news from Denerim can we speak in your office?"
"Of course."
Alyssa led Bethany into the office.
-OOO-
Thank the Maker for Fenris. They would have to get out of the city quickly which wasn't easy with a little girl. Varric's short legs gave him enough trouble, but caring a child while running would have been impossible. Many children were often frightened by Fenris, but Lea had known him all her life and felt complete safe and comfortable around him. So him caring her wasn't an issue. Isabela was caring a backpack with the most essential things. Aveline had remained in Kirkwall to make sure that if any enquiry should come from Stark Haven it would be replied with false information. Unfortunately they discovered it was too late. No more than fifteen men appeared around them. What could they do? There were far too many for them to fight. Even if they did fight, how could they make sure that Lea didn't get harmed or kidnapped. When Fenris turned blue with frustration they shot him in the shoulder with an arrow. A woman dressed all in black with green eyes came from the shadows. For a moment Varric could have sworn it was Hawke, but why would she kidnap her own child?
"Now there calm down. I mean you no harm, I just need the girl." Drea said calmly.
"You won't have her!" Fenris growled.
"You have a choice. Either you corporate or I will kill one of you at a time, starting with the girl."
"You bitch! What do you want with her any way?" Isabela snarled.
"You really think that Prince Vael didn't know that the champion and Anders had a child? We have been watching you for months."
"If you know who she is, then why would you threaten to kill her?" Varric snarled as he pulled Lea close to him to comfort her.
"His grace only wants justice for the lives Anders took. To get that he needs Anders and what better way to ensure he will come to Stark Haven, than using his daughter? Anders won't know whether she is dead or alive."
"Anders is tranquil. He wouldn't feel anything for her." Varric answered.
"The mage rebellion have been reversing the rite of tranquillity for years, he has most likely regained his emotions by now. So what will it be? Do you come willingly or will blood be needed?"
Isabela and Fenris looked at Varric. He was after all her guardian so this was his call. He nodded while he whispered "I'm sorry Shadow.". The men then removed their weapons and threw them inside the back of a wagon. Lea cuddled up against Fenris when she felt the blood on his shoulder. She then put her hand over the wound and her hand started glowing. They all gave her a surprised look when the wound healed.
"By the ancestors!" Varric gasped.
"How did you know how to do that, kitten?" Isabela asked.
"I don't know." Lea shrugged.
"Have you done this before?" Fenris asked.
"Yes. One time when I scraped my knee. Did I do something wrong?"
"No, not at all. Thank you very much. My shoulder feels much better now."
They went quiet for a while, when Lea suddenly asked.
"Varric? What was that woman talking about?"
"She was talking about your parents. Do you remember all the stories I told you about the Champion of Kirkwall?"
She nodded.
"Well, the champion is your mother. Her and your father was captured when you were an infant. They send you to me so that I could keep you safe." Varric sighed and felt guilt washing over him. He had failed.
"Who is my father?"
"Remember I told you that there used to be a healer in Darktown, who helped the sick without taking any coin for it?"
"He was my father?"
"Yes."
"Why does that woman want my father?"
Varric choked. Telling a four year old that her father murdered a chantry full of defenceless people wasn't exactly a bedtime story. Not to mention would she even understand? Isabela could see on Varric's face that even with his gift for stories he had no idea about how to deal with this.
"You see sweetness. Your father wanted to save a lot of people, who were put in prison without having done anything wrong."
"Why were they in prison if they didn't do anything?"
"Because people were afraid of them." Fenris answered.
"When your father tried to free them he made a lot of people angry. Do you understand, Shadow?" Varric said in a comforting voice.
She nodded again and hid her face in Fenris' chest. Fenris removed his cloak and put it around her hoping that she would fall asleep. This was his fault. Had he never come to Kirkwall, maybe this wouldn't have happened. On the other hand Sebastian clearly knew about her all along. But how did he know? Fenris looked down at Lea. If he had been spying on Varric it wasn't a unlike assumption to make. She did after all look a lot like her mother. The same dark hair, green eyes and pale skin like both her parents. And apparently she had her father's gift for healing.
-OOO-
They had finally reached the ancient temple where the ashes were supposed to be hidden away. They had met a few spiders and a pack of wolfs, but other than that the journey had been quite uneventful. They had however met a few templars who guarded the area, but Bethany had handed them a letter that allowed them passage. Anders had hid under his hood. The mages where free in Ferelden, but he doubted that anyone would be happy to see him. Not to mention the sun on his forehead that didn't exactly make him discreet. Oran was left outside the ruin to guard the horses since he was the only one without any business at the urn itself. The ruins were magnificent and there were a lot of beautiful carvings. Normally Anders would have thrilled to look at them, but all he could think about was his daughter. Why didn't Bethany tell him and what else was she hiding from him? They entered the last part of the ruin and were met by a bearded man in full armour.
"Greetings. I am the Guardian of the gauntlet."
"Greetings. We have come seeking the ashes of Andraste." Bethany answered.
"And so you shall if the gauntlet decides that you are worthy. Before you go there is something that I must ask."
"As you wish."
"There is suffering in your pasts. You're suffering and the suffering of others. Your mother died by the hands of a madman trying to recreate his dead wife. You wonder don't you, if you had been home that day it would never have happened?"
"Each and every day."
"Thank you. And what of those who follow you. Phillip former templar and brother of the mage Paul. Your brother was sent to the circle in Kirkwall after you had been responsible for revealing his powers. He was later made tranquil by the order that you joined. Do you feel responsible for what happened to him?"
"Yes. If I had not teased him that day maybe he wouldn't have been angry and started that electrical storm. If I had only seen what the templar order was capable off sooner I could have saved him."
"And you Susanna of Nevarra. Your mother died while giving birth to your youngest brother. You took over the role to care for your three younger siblings. When you discovered you had magical talent your father tried to hide you from the templars. When they found you, your father was sent to prison and you to the circle. Your siblings became orphans. Do you regret that you let your father hide you?"
"Always." Susanna started to cry and Phillip held her close kissing her hair. Anders choked knowing he would be next.
"You, Anders. In your past there is more suffering than most experience in a lifetime. You ran from your father. You ran from the circle. You ran from the wardens. You killed a lot of people in the name of justice forcing you to run again. Lately you have been running from your past. Are you afraid that you have become accustom to running and that by running you have lost what mattered the most?"
"Yes... I am afraid that I will never stop running. I fear that this need for continuing to run will cost me everything I hold dear. I regret that I lost the love of life and I blame myself for it. I fear that I will never be the father my daughters deserves. I fear that everything I have risked was for nothing." Anders felt his eyes tearing and at that moment Bethany stroked his back and kissed his cheek. The spirit disappeared and they went through the door. The first room was filled with spirits who gave them riddles that were fairly easy to answer. When the last spirit disappeared, the door till the next room opened. The all stood still.
"Mon cherrie, what do you see?" Phillip asked Susanna as her eyes filled with water.
"I see my father... what do you see?"
"My brother."
-OOO- Susanna -OOO-
"Father?"
"Shhh... sweetheart it is alright. You have wondered many times if what happened to me was your fault."
"Yes... oh father can you ever forgive me?"
"There is nothing to forgive. Hiding you was my choice. It was my responsibility to protect our family never yours. Forgive yourself my darling daughter. You were never to blame."
-OOO- Phillip -OOO-
"You are not my brother."
"I didn't think I fooled you. I am part of the gauntlet."
"What do you want from me? Are you here to make me feel guilty?"
"That is not my purpose. I am here to give you the forgiveness you will not grant yourself. My powers would have shown sooner or later, nothing you could have said or done would have changed that. You are now devoted to helping my people regain their freedom and it gives me peace knowing that no one else will suffer what I have. Thank you."
-OOO- Bethany -OOO-
"Mother I am so sorry. I should have..."
"Hush love. There was nothing you could have done. I am so proud of my little girl as are your father and Carver. You have helped to change the world and in the future all mages will have what we had. A family. You need to let go of all your regrets so that you too can have the family you deserve."
"No mother don't go, please."
"I don't belong here. I love you very much, dear."
-OOO-
Susanna smiled with tears in her eyes and hugged Phillip. Bethany looked into the ground wiping tears from her eyes. Susanna then looked at Anders. He kept starring straight in front of him his tears falling from his eyes while he was complete silent. He stood there for what seemed like minutes. Susanna figured that he must have seen Marian and made sure that they gave him the time he needed. Then all of a sudden he grabbed Bethany by her shoulders and pinned her against the wall as he started to kiss her. Susanna and Phillip stared at them until Anders finally pulled away from the kiss still pinning her against the wall.
"Love, why didn't you tell me?"
"You didn't remember me... I waited for you for so long and when I finally found you again you didn't remember. I was afraid that you wouldn't love me as you use to."
"I love you. You are the only person ever to stand by me even as I gave you every reason to turn away. You are the one bright light in my life. No one else will ever have my heart."
She turned away from him and began to cry. He gently placed his hand under her chin and lifted her lips to his.
"Marian, love. Look at me."
"Marian?" Susanna gasped.
"As in Marian Hawke, the champion of Kirkwall?" Phillip starred in disbelief. Then he got a little annoyed. Did this woman do anything, but lie? Then his annoyance turned to confusion. How in the void did she get away from the templars alive? Anders looked at them.
"Would you give us a moment please?"
Susanna and Phillip nodded and went back into the room they came from. Anders took Marian in his arms and held her close.
"I thought I had lost you. I wish you would have told me."
"I wanted to, but you didn't remember me and when you got your emotions back you didn't seem to care."
Anders cringed remembering how he flirted with Susanna. No wonder she had hit him and been angry with him. How could he have been such a fool?
"I am so sorry, my love. I wasn't myself, if I had remembered you I would never have done those things."
"It is just as much my fault. If I had been honest from the beginning maybe all of this would have gone smoother. I missed you so much and I have been aching for you to come back to me. And then you were so close, but you acted nothing like the man I fell in love with. When you discovered that I was a woman I should have told you the truth, but I was so afraid that you would reject me. Even Justice scolded me."
"Justice?" Anders looked at her. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. She pulled out the amulet.
"You don't remember everything yet do you?"
"No, but I am sure it will come back."
"You gave this amulet to me, when we were hiding in Tevinter. You were afraid that you would lose control over Justice. This amulet protects against spirits and demons. In ancient times it was used to bind those who were lost in our world. You gave it to me so he would never be able to harm me. Five months after I gave birth, we were caught in Nevarra while trying to break some mages out of the circle. When they removed Justice from you they didn't bring him back into the fade, so he was lost wandering in our world. After the templars had beaten me they left me in a cell to die. They didn't even bother to lock the door assuming I would die soon after. Justice found me and tried to save my life by merging with me. After my injuries were healed however he got trapped inside the amulet."
"I am so sorry old friend. Once again I am responsible for his suffering."
"I don't think he minds so much. When he entered the amulet it cured him of his corruption."
She pressed a symbol on the amulet and a cone of light was reflected from it. A spirit in full plate armour appeared in front of them.
"Justice? I am so sorry... I don't know if you can ever forgive me."
"You are not more to blame than I. I am sorry too... more than you could possibly know."
"I should have done more. You didn't deserve what I turned you into."
"And you did not deserve what I did to you. You alone have paid for the crimes we have committed. I learned much from you, Anders and for that I am grateful."
"I am surprised. After all I put you through, it seemed like there was so little left other than vengeance."
"When I was in Kristoff's body all I had was his memories. Sharing yours I gained my own. I learned what it was like to love and be loved. And now I have the peace of mind to value those memories. You have shown me much... as have Marian."
"Marian? Love, what does he mean?" Anders looked at her almost fearful. She took his hand and gently squeezed it.
"We didn't stay merged, love. When I am wearing this amulet I can communicate with Justice as you could when he was bound to you. After I lost you, he comforted me and helped me through it. He has been my strength through all of this. My advisor. My companion."
"This is not the best time for this, mortals. I suggest that we return to our mission." Justice looked tenderly at Marian "I am here for you, whatever you need."
Marian nodded and Justice let his hand stroke her cheek as if he could almost feel her, before returning into the amulet. Anders remembered those last words. A memory came flashing back.
Leandra had just died by the hands of a blood mage. Marian was sitting on the bed. Her face was covered in tears, but she didn't make a sound. He walked towards her slowly.
"I know nothing I can say will change it. It's just... I'm sorry. You were lucky to have her as long as you did. When the pain fades, that's what will matter."
"Thank you, Anders. What would I do without you?"
He sat down on the bed next to her and held her close.
"I am here for you, whatever you need."
Susanna and Phillip rejoined them and for the first time they saw Marian smile. Everything about her seemed different. The coldness had left her and was replaced by a warm kindness surrounding her. They passed the final obstacles and went to the urn. Phillip and Anders took each a pinch and put it into their own glass vial. They would later mix it with water so they could drink it. Marian took out three little pouches. The two small once she filled with a pinch each. They last one she took three pinches. Anders was about to ask about the amount, but she just gave him a smile that told him that she would inform him later.