Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.
Rated: M for language and mature themes.
They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that.This is almost exclusive Callie and Arizona, the other GA characters do pop up from time to time but please don't count on a fully fledged GA episodehere.
If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly.
Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc.
Apologies for my absence but I did have a great holiday! Thanks for your comments and feedback.
11
Dr Wyatt watched quietly, her hands folded, almost primly, on her lap as Arizona Robbins paced up and down a stretch of her office.
She had made a one-off appointment more than a week ago, cancelled and re-booked it twice and had finally shown up late and had yet to do more than shine a weak smile in her direction and pace the floor.
"You know, I'm not sure what kind of insurance you've got but I doubt it will cover the cost of my Persian rug, Arizona." The psychiatrist smiled encouragingly at Arizona as she came to a halt in the middle of the office.
Arizona had very thin personnel file. She was a brilliant doctor and surgeon, was an army brat and had lost a brother in Iraq. Given the plethora of issues that were almost inherent with the type of high-stress, high-stakes medicine that Arizona practiced as Head of Paediatrics, the fact that she had never previously met with Wyatt told the older woman that the blonde was used to sorting things out for herself. She didn't like asking for help and quite possibly considered it a weakness.
It might explain the cancellations and the pacing without a word. All Wyatt knew was that Arizona was having difficulty with her partner's recent injury.
"Arizona, you explained only the basics over the phone, why don't you tell me how I can help you."
"Callie Torres is my partner," Arizona finally spoke out, her words quiet. She still stood in the middle on the office, examining her hands as if they would give her the answers she was seeking.
Dr Wyatt allowed herself a slight rise of her eyebrows. Callie Torres had a whole slew of appointments with her soon. The older woman now had more than an inking into what was coming next.
"Callie doesn't know that we're together, she doesn't even know that she's gay and I don't know what to do." The words seemed forced out of Paeds surgeon and Wyatt finally opened her notebook and jotted down a few lines.
"Have you seen her since she woke up?" Wyatt asked, her words impassive.
"Every day. I...told her that we were...are friends..." Arizona trailed off and Wyatt could see the pain in her eyes, but just for a second.
"And...?" she prompted, wanting Arizona to open up.
"And I've avoided certain subjects, I've talked about work and our friends and what's been going on. I've talked a lot about George." Arizona twisted her lips as she said this and Wyatt picked up the inflection.
"Is it a problem for you to talk about George O'Malley?"
"Calliope is still grieving for him; I can't break it to her that we're together, not right now."
"It's perfectly normal to feel jealously, Arizona."
Arizona closed her eyes for moment.
"I know that and this isn't about me, it really isn't. I...I just don't know what to do."
"Yes, you do, Arizona. It will be difficult. It will be uncomfortable. But you know what to do."
Arizona swung to look at the other doctor and wanted to argue. She wanted to protest. She wanted to cry.
Arizona slowly sat down on the leather couch.
"What if she freaks out?"
"What if she doesn't?"
Arizona tilted her head slightly, a sad smile on her face.
"You don't know Calliope...she'll freak..." Arizona stopped talking and swallowed hard. She had cried far too much over the last few days. She didn't need to be a cliché and cry while in therapy.
Dr Wyatt gave Arizona a minute to compose herself.
"You know that for sure...really?"
Arizona went back to examining her fingers. "Actually, she's unpredictable...it's one of the reasons I love her."
After a pause Wyatt picked up an earlier thread.
"So, you've seen her every day and she hasn't asked who she's been seeing since George or the nature of your relationship?"
Arizona rubbed her hands over her face, trying the erase what seemed like years of exhaustion.
"I've ...skirted the issue...she has trouble sleeping so I've been going around her bedtime to help her relax and ... and..."
"To be near her?" Wyatt asked gently
Arizona nodded once without looking up.
"Do you think you can hide your love from her?" Wyatt carried on without waiting for response, even as Arizona shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, the leather creaking slightly. "I've never seen the two of you together yet I can see how much you love her just by what you've just said. She will know that you have feelings for her, unless she's blind and her chart says that her vision is unimpaired."
Wyatt leaned forward, elbows on knees, her hands loosely clasped in front of her. Her expression was both earnest and urgent.
"Calliope will know that you are keeping something from her and the longer you keep from telling her the more she will feel that something is wrong, that you're hiding something.
"She might be shocked by the news that she's gay. She might not. But the longer you make it a big deal, the bigger a deal she will make out of it."
Dr Wyatt sat back and looked into the unhappy face of her reluctant patient.
"You have to tell, Arizona and you have to tell her now."
"Hey, where have you been? I missed you."
Callie sat up straight and grinned broadly at Arizona as she walked into her room.
"You know, I almost had you paged yesterday. I had to beg Shepherd for 2 of Haldol the other night, just to help me sleep."
"You are kidding, right?" Arizona stood stock still, slightly shocked. After her session with Dr Wyatt, Arizona had tried to maintain a little distance and had only visited Callie while she was asleep. She knew that Carlos and Marguerite had been confused but she hadn't been able to explain.
But Callie's grin widened a little.
"OK, I'm exaggerating a little. But I did miss you. I've got used to your voice sending me to sleep."
Callie looked over at her friend and noted the look of tension on her face and felt a pang of guilt. Callie knew that she could be demanding and that she had been relying quite heavily on her new-found companion. The woman was the head of paediatrics, it was unreasonable of Callie to expect Arizona to spend every last free minute babysitting her.
Callie reached out and grabbed Arizona's hand and held it in her much larger one.
"Look, I'm sorry. I know I can be a little too much sometimes...I mean, you must have a life outside of the hospital and all you've done the last week is talk me to sleep, I've completely monopolised your time. Your boyfriend must really be hating my guts, right now."
Arizona closed her eyes at Callie's words. No time like the present.
"Umm, Cal, I don't have a boyfriend...I'm..."
"No, really?" Callie interrupted, her voice surprised. Arizona was a very attractive woman, but perhaps, like many career surgeons, she didn't have time for a personal life right now.
"Callie, I don't have a boyfriend because I'm gay." Arizona corrected quietly, watching Callie's face closely.
"Oh, wow. OK. My gaydar was never any good." Callie smiled up at her, easily, without missing a beat. "So, I guess your girlfriend must really be hating me right now, huh? C'mon. Don't tell me you don't have a girlfriend...you're gorgeous."
Arizona sank down on the edge of Callie's bed and looked at their intertwined fingers. It was a comfortable, familiar gesture, one that they had shared countless times, their hands meeting and linking instinctively. Arizona loved the warmth and strength of Callie's fingers and had missed the physical closeness that they shared.
Callie could see that Arizona was troubled about something.
In the evenings, when she came and spent time with her, Arizona had talked about George or the hospital or the shooting but she hadn't talked about them, about their relationship and small bell went off in the back of Callie's head.
"You know, Arizona, for all the time you've been with me, you haven't really talked about yourself, other than your work here." Callie's fingers were loosely resting on Arizona's wrist and under the pads of her fingers she felt the pulse rate jump and pick up.
"I don't remember anything about you, and it's kind of weird, since I think we must be pretty good friends and I'm guessing it might be kind of painful for you... or something. I just wish I could remember more."
Callie wasn't sure what she was getting at but she was sure something was wrong.
"Callie, you need to pace yourself, you've been through unimaginable trauma, you can't just expect everything to fall into place at once." Arizona kept her voice low and calm, even as she felt her heart rate pick up. Coming here, talking to Callie had always been a calculated risk. But she had taken it because she hadn't been able to bear the pain of separation. Not seeing Callie, not being with her had been unbearable. So, Arizona had taken the risk that she might reveal herself or their relationship before Callie was ready for it.
Carlos had agreed that he wouldn't break the news to Callie about their relationship, but Arizona was now increasingly aware of the fact that she would have to tell Callie soon. In truth, she'd known this even before she'd gone to see Dr Wyatt. She just had to find the right time, the right words but one thing was clear; she couldn't hide her love for Callie forever.
"Everyone has been tiptoeing around me as if I was made of eggshells, I don't what the hell people are so worried about; I'm tough, I can take it, whatever it is. I mean, Mark's dropped by a couple of times but he actually blushes when he looks at me, which probably means that I was an adulterous slut at some point. Even my parents are dodging my questions, Arizona." Callie leaned back against the bank of pillows and closed her eyes for a moment.
Arizona's heart caught in her breast as she looked at Callie. Her long dark eyelashes cast a crescent shadow on her cheekbones, her skin still pale from her ordeal. She was beautiful.
Callie's eyes opened and Arizona felt herself drown in the dark warm depths of her brown gaze, she felt the familiar tingle of awareness that always encompassed her when Callie looked into her eyes and a for second, just a second, Arizona forgot that Callie didn't know what they meant to each other, she forgot that she had to be careful and simply let her love for the woman shine out as she returned her stare.
But only for a second.
Arizona lowered her gaze, hurriedly, uncertain of how much she had revealed.
"Arizona, what is it that people are scared to tell me?" Callie fixed her gaze on Arizona's face, determination evident in the set of her jaw.
Arizona took a deep breath and held on to Callie's hands with both of hers, trying infuse confidence and love and hope into her clasp.
"Callie, after you and George broke up you had...a sort of ...you ...began a relationship with the new head of Cardio but it didn't quite work out."
Arizona still hesitated and knew that she wasn't doing the best possible job of breaking it to her girlfriend that she was gay. Some indication that the erstwhile head of cardio was a woman would be a help.
"I went out with a Cardio god?" Me? Really?" Callie frowned slightly, though there was a small, playful smile playing around her mouth.
"I can't quite see myself with someone as controlling and intense as a cardio king...especially if they were anything like Preston Burke."
"From what I understand...from what you told me, you weren't really together...not properly a couple ..." And Arizona hesitated some more. And then took a deep breath.
"And she was a cardio queen. Her name was Erica Hahn."
A beat passed and Callie's frown deepened, the playful smile disappeared.
Arizona held her breath for a second, waiting for the explosion.
Callie giggled out loud.
"I divorced George and then became a lesbian. That's sounds just about par for the course. I can't get a damn thing right, can I? How long did that last?" She was still giggling, mirth filling her eyes and brimming over.
Arizona's immediate relief fled.
Without inflection she added, "A few months after that, I came to Seattle, I met you at Joe's...we...we started dating...I ...we fell in love and we've been together for over a year now. More or less." Her words were fast and her tone was low. Arizona kept her eyes fixed on Callie's face and watched as the amusement drained away to leave something else.
Callie was very still; her face carefully blank of the emotion that Arizona knew must be churning within her.
"Excuse me?"
"Calliope, there was no other way for me to tell you this. I know it's a shock but you're my girlfriend." Arizona tried to keep her voice from shaking, tried to keep an even tone, but inside, she knew she was pleading.
Calliope, please be ok with this.
Callie looked up into the face of the woman she had grown to depend on over that last week and felt a chasm open up inside her.
She dropped her gaze to their joined hands and felt the anger overtake the loss.
She shifted in bed and used it as an excuse to free her hands. Her mind had gone blank. She absolutely could not form a single coherent thought.
Right now, Callie was all instinct, all emotion.
Her instinct was to scream out loud.
Enough.
Enough.
Too many things had changed for her.
Everything had had changed.
In the last 5 days the single constant had been the wonderful friend and comfort that she had found in Arizona Robbins and now, that had changed too.
"I don't know what to say." Callie could hear her voice shake but couldn't tell if it was with anger or hurt.
"Calliope...I know it's a shock, but..." Arizona's voice, familiar, cherished even, suddenly was filled with mystery and shadows and deceit. What else was she hiding?
"You know, I'd really prefer it if you called me Callie, like everyone else." Callie kept her face blank as she looked up into the face of Arizona and correctly read the distress on her face.
Arizona Robbins was her girlfriend and they were in love. What the hell did that mean?
"What the hell do you expect me to say to something like that?" Callie burst out, anger overriding her hurt.
"You've come here every single day in the last week and you didn't think to ...I don't know...give me a heads up about my major frigging change in lifestyle choices?" Callie's nostrils flared and her BP hiked up a notch.
"Calliope...I didn't know how to ..."
"Stop calling me that." Callie snapped, immeasurably irritated by the familiarity implied by Arizona's use of her given name. In a deep recess of her brain, Callie wondered if she was overreacting but the shock of the revelation buried the thought almost before it was formed. Right now, she had lost a friend and gained a lover and what she needed was a friend, someone she could rely on.
"So, tell me, why didn't you tell me about our relationship? You had plenty of time."
Arizona bit her lip and tried to keep calm, not only was Callie totally furious with her, she was also in danger of putting her recovery at risk.
"I know that this is a shock but you have to stay calm." Arizona leaned forward to touch Callie's hand but was cut her core when Callie flinched away.
"There was no easy way of breaking this to you, Callie. I know that you're angry and confused but ... I love you and I'll do whatever is needed to help you through this." Arizona smiled gently, and patted Callie's covered thigh but stood up from the bed, not wanting to crowd her.
Callie looked up at Arizona, the turbulence within her clearly displayed.
"I've been in a coma for 5 days, my husband is dead and I've apparently become a lesbian. I promise you, I'm not going to stay calm." Callie buried her face in her hands.
"You've been my friend these last few days, my lifeline; you were the only person I could rely on...why couldn't you tell me the truth?"
She flung herself heavily back on her pillows, careless of her well-being and Arizona's heart twisted at the emotions that crossed Callie's face.
"Baby, I'm so sorry." Arizona whispered the words softly, not meaning to say them out loud but Callie's face was wiped clear of emotion at the tender words.
"Baby? Are you frigging kidding me? You let me believe that we were simply friends...and now you call me baby?"
"Callie, your BP is getting too high..." Arizona tried to placate her.
"I think it would be a good idea if you left now, Arizona." Callie straightened her covers and looked directly at Arizona. Her voice was polite, distant and it chilled Arizona to her bones.
"Callie..."
"I'd like you to leave." Callie's voice was implacable and her eyes were cold.
Arizona looked like she was going to argue but nodded once and quickly left the room.
"You do know that you're not being reasonable or even rational now, right?" Mark asked her.
Callie knew Derek would give her hell but she was out of bed, pacing in her room while Mark sat with his feet propped up on her bed.
"You think I care? You really think I care about reasonable or rational, right now? I just wanted one thing, just one lousy crappy thing to remain constant and I thought she was it. You know... is that too much to ask?" Callie took a few steps and furiously wiped away the tears that formed on her eyelashes.
"Well, maybe a little bit, yeah...Torres. You only woke up 2 minutes ago, by your reckoning, you barely know her...how come she's your one constant thing? What am I, chopped liver?" Mark was only partly playing.
He had been a little embarrassed seeing Callie realising that, for her, they'd quite recently spent a night doing the horizontal mambo, but for all that, he'd been relieved that Callie was bonding with Arizona. If he was honest, Mark had even been a little jealous of how close the two women had got over the last week but he had been happy as well thinking that, despite the coma and the memory loss, Callie had somehow remembered her love for Arizona.
Mark closed his eyes for a second in disbelief. He needed his head examined for being a love-struck dumbass. Clearly he'd been spending way too much time with girls.
At Callie's sharp smack to his shoulder, he opened his eyes in a hurry, her irate features at complete odds with the adorable black curls forming around her bandage. He ignored the fact that he found her curls adorable as it was another clear sign that he needed to go out and strap on a pair.
"Shut up, Mark. This really isn't funny."
"Cal, I know it's not funny and I'm not laughing at you but what do you want me to say? This has been incredibly tough on Arizona; she thought you were going to die and when that didn't happen, she had some hope until you woke up and went and lost all your memories."
Callie stopped pacing and turned to stare at him affront replacing the irritation.
"It's not exactly like I lost them on purpose, Mark...jeez."
"Callie, she loves you. And you love her. So ok, you're gay, now...is it so hard to take in?"
"Stop saying that." Callie resumed her pacing, her fist clenched at her sides. "I'm not gay."
Mark opened his mouth and then closed it. He was pretty sure he barely passed his pysch rotation as a med student and he was making no attempt to try offer anything other than a broad shoulder and a friendly face. Callie needed proper therapy and he wasn't to guy to give it. He was the guy who brought the beer.
"You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Callie. But Arizona, she does love you and she's going to want to take care of you. This thing that you're going through now, this is probably the reason she didn't tell you about your relationship earlier. There was never going to be an easy way to break it to you and you're being unfair to her."
Callie stared at him for a full minute, her lips pursed and unspeaking, hands on hips and menacing despite her Elmo flannel pyjamas and fluffy slippers.
"What?" Mark protested, uncomfortably aware of how strong Callie was.
"You're taking her side?" Callie was hurt.
She had been totally floored by what Arizona had told and had no idea of how to process the news. Basically, everything in her life had just been turned upside down. Arizona had provided some measure of stability since she woke up and Callie felt that she had lost that now. Somehow Callie felt that she had lost something precious but it didn't make sense to feel that way.
The fire drained from her eyes and she climbed into her bed and lay on her back, pulling the blanket up to her chin as if warding off the cold.
"Callie?"
"Get your feet off my bed, Mark." Callie said quietly, avoiding his gaze.
"Callie, come on. Talk to me." Mark obliged but nudged her anyway, trying to elicit a response.
"Mark, I don't know who I am anymore. It's like I've lost one friend today. I know I'm probably making a huge deal over nothing but I don't want to lose you as well." Her voice was small and Mark sighed a little.
"It is a big deal and it's a lot for you to deal with. All I'm saying is that you don't have to do it alone."
He shuffled to his feet and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
"And you really can't get rid of me that easy."
Callie smiled a little, her eyes were shadowed and Mark could see the sheer confusion just under the surface.
"Try to get some rest, kiddo. Things will be better in the morning."
"Daddy, you knew about this?" Callie screeched. Her face had gone completely red and her voice had reached a pitch that Angela Gheorghiu would have been proud of.
It was morning and things weren't better.
Carlos had come in at his customary time in the morning after rounds and, to Callie's undying embarrassment and complete incredulity, had launched into a detailed monologue extolling Arizona virtues.
"You knew that I ...was in a relationship with...her... and ...and...you're ok with it? Callie didn't know what to think and she certainly didn't know where to look. She could, very clearly, remember how he'd treated George the first time they'd met. Carlos Torres was a very traditional man. Very traditional. Callie couldn't begin to conceive of how he father was so blasé about her new lifestyle.
Carlos leaned back and sighed.
It would have been so easy to have just taken Callie home with him and things would have gone back to the way they had been. And he had been tempted.
But Carlos knew that Callie was entitled to make her own decisions, whether he agreed with them or not. He didn't like the fact that one of his daughters was gay but he accepted it. He had learned to accept it.
Arizona had come to their hotel room last night and explained that she had told Callie about their relationship and that Callie hadn't taken the news particularly well.
"Mija, it was very hard for me at first...and...and ...I wasn't ok with it. Not for a long time." Carlos knew he was being a bit of a coward but their estrangement and his behaviour was something they could deal with at another time.
"So, what changed your mind?" Callie could hear her voice and marvelled at its apparent calmness. Her mind was reeling.
"Arizona did." He replied, simply.
"She's a principled woman. She's honest and kind and she loves you. She would do anything for you and while you lay in that coma, I watched her suffer, every bit as much as your mother, sister and I suffered." Carlos took a breath to calm himself, that Callie had so nearly died was more than enough reason for him to do anything he could to make sure that she was happy and safe.
"You were willing to give us up for her, Callie. You love her; you said that she makes you happy." He leaned over and stroked his confused elder daughter's face.
"That's really all any parent could want, Calliope. For their children to be happy."
Arizona knew that she needed to get some sleep.
She had been running on empty for the better part of the week and after last night, Arizona had nothing left in her tank.
Callie's reaction had been every bit as bad as she had anticipated.
Actually, it was worse because when Callie was angry, she shouted, ranted and raved. Or she smashed bones into dust. Once she'd thrown a magazine across the room. She had never been so cold and dismissive as she had been last night and it shocked Arizona.
It frightened her.
She had hoped that the easy friendship that they had formed since the night that she had hovered in her darkened doorway would help, but somehow, it had only made matters worse.
The apartment was quiet and empty. Cristina was still at work and would probably spend the night with Owen anyway, so Arizona was alone.
She stood up and wandered about for a moment, still in her scrubs, her mind deliberately blank. She didn't want to dwell on her last conversation with Callie, didn't want to think about what was going to happen next.
She didn't want to think of what would happen if Callie completely rejected her, rejected their life together.
Arizona didn't want to be alone tonight; she needed a distraction and decided to invite Mark over for pizza and a beer or something.
She picked up the phone to call him when a knocking on the door made her swing round, startled. Mark had never once been known to knock and had had, on more than one occasion, gleefully caught either resident couple in flagrante delicto untilall concerned learnt to lock the front door or at least keep their activities behind closed bedroom doors.
Arizona opened the door and felt her jaw go slack and the tears well up in her eyes.
"Mom?"
#
Mary Robbins was a practical woman.
She allowed her only daughter, her only child collapse in her arms and rocked her like a baby as a well of tears and grief erupted. Arizona sobbed like her world was coming to an end and Mary soothed her, murmuring quietly and stroking her hair for over an hour.
"Arizona, sweetheart, have you eaten yet?"
They were on the couch in the gloom of the darkened room, Arizona lying with her head in her mother's lap. She had almost cried herself to sleep and though Mary knew that bed was probably the best place for Arizona right now, she also had a strong suspicion that her daughter had been skipping meals. Some hot food and a shower would ensure a solid night's sleep.
Arizona kept her eyes closed and took a deep breath, inhaling her mother's familiar scent. The rhythmic stroking of her hair and her mother's low voice had taken her to a twilight place that existed between sleep and wakefulness, where there was no pain and anguish and doubt. Arizona wanted to stay in that place but knew that it wasn't real.
She sat up and flung her arms around her mother.
"I'm so glad you came...I didn't know how much I needed you until just now." Arizona's felt the tears roll down her face and despite everything laughed a little as her mother wiped the tears away.
"I'm going to be dehydrated after this; I swear the body isn't supposed to hold this much water."
"Is she doing any better?" Mary straightened Arizona's hair and look into her face, noting the exhaustion etched in the premature lines on her face.
Arizona dropped her eyes for a second, preparing for the jolt of pain that came every time she thought of Callie.
"Physically, she's healing but her memories haven't come back at all, she'll need to go into therapy to try and recover them. She'll need to go through a barrage of tests before she can come back to work...that alone will drive her crazy, she adores being in the OR." Arizona sank back and closed her eyes, remembering the countless times she'd observed Callie in the OR, either dancing to loud music as she worked or intense and passionate and in utter silence. Callie loved being an orthopaedic surgeon, loved the feeling of working with bones. An image of Callie pulling off her mask and laughing out loud, with pure unbridled joy, after a long and difficult surgery popped into Arizona's mind and she smiled at the memory.
"Hold that thought." Mary spoke quietly but urgently.
Arizona opened her eyes and looked at her mother, questioning.
"Whatever it was that you were thinking of, hold on to that thought. It took away your pain for few minutes, child."
Arizona bit her lip but nodded, not wanting to say anything else. As much as she had already cried, she knew that she was still so very raw and that anything could set her off.
"Why don't you go have a shower and I'll rustle up dinner, how does that sound?" Mary knew that she needed to provide some distraction and had every intention of taking care of her child the best she knew how.
Arizona stood up and wiped her hands down the sides her trousers, a little shame-faced.
"Umm, I was going to order pizza, there's no food in the fridge."
"Really? What about the casserole?" Mary walked over to the freezer and peered in. She emerged with a bottle of vodka and held it up, inquiringly.
"What casserole? Umm, the vodka's Cristina's Mom." Arizona hoped her mother wouldn't comment on Callie's rum or her bourbon or the various other bottles of hard liquor stashed about the kitchen. She really hoped that she'd hidden her cigarettes.
"Callie made a casserole a few weeks back, don't you remember? We were talking about the merits of freezing it and for how long."
Arizona stood at the breakfast bar and watched as her mother took another look in the freezer.
"Callie is the domestic goddess around here, Mom. I'm just the grateful recipient."
Mary re-emerged with the frozen casserole and began toying with the controls of the oven. She looked up and saw the sadness written all over Arizona's face.
"Child, what is it?"
"I don't know what I will do if she never remembers us. I told her about our relationship last night and she ... she threw me out of her room." Arizona shrugged, her movements dejected.
"I don't even know if she'll ever accept that she's bi...let alone that she loves me, that we have a life together. She was so angry at me, Mom. I've never seen her that way before and I don't know what I'm going to do."
Mary straightened up from the oven and contemplated her daughter.
"Well, right now, you're going to shower and change. Then, you're going to get some decent, home-cooked food inside you and you'll tell me about some of your patients or about Mark or Cristina. I'll tell you about what your father and I have been getting up to and then you're going to get some sleep. That's what you're going to do tonight."
She walked over to her daughter and reached up and took her gently by the shoulders.
"Tomorrow is another day and when it comes you'll take care of whatever happens, when it happens. You've been through something dreadful and so has Callie. It's not easy for either of you but you'd made some progress with her before, you'll make progress with her again. All it takes is time, child. Just be patient."
Arizona took a shuddering breath and rested her face on her shorter mothers shoulder, wrapping her arms around the woman's body.
"How'd you get to be so wise?"
"I'm your mother, child, it's my job."
"Did you know about this?"
Callie was incensed and it showed.
Arizona shook her head but smiled a little, encouraging despite the impotent fury she could read in Callie's eyes.
Callie was standing in the middle of her room in street clothes, hoping for an early discharge only to be given some unexpected news by her consultant.
"You'll only release me into Arizona Robbins care? Seriously?"
"Callie, seriously, if you don't calm down, I'll keep you in for another week." Derek shot a small sympathetic look in Arizona's direction.
Arizona looked at Derek, partly annoyed, partly amused.
"Derek, not helping."
He chuckled, unrepentant but serious nonetheless.
"Callie, the truth is you're not ready to go home on your own not yet. Apart from your memories, I'm a little worried about your BP."
"OK fine, I'll fly back to Miami with my parents. How's that?" Callie sunk down on her bed and glared at the pair of them, with their pretty blue eyes and perfect smiles.
She was tired and cranky and had a headache.
She wanted her own bed. She really didn't want to go home to Miami because, as much as she loved her family, living with them drove her nuts. Derek had ambushed her with the news that he would only release her to Arizona, who was standing there all pretty and sympathetic and Callie wanted to ...
Callie didn't know what she wanted to do.
She missed seeing Arizona and was angry that she missed her.
She was angry at what Arizona had told her.
Callie was angry at herself for not being able to remember.
"No flying Callie after brain surgery, you know that." Derek looked up from his chart, suddenly anxious.
"You do know that, right?"
"Yes. I know that." Callie replied grumpily. "I've lost my memories, Derek, not my mind."
"OK. Good. So we're in agreement. I'll discharge you in 2 days time on the condition that you go home to Arizona's care and I'll see you on an out-patient basis. Right?"
"Right." Arizona agreed.
They both looked at Callie who was staring at the ceiling.
"Callie? You know it makes sense." Arizona smiled persuasively, trying to ignore the jump of panic that was still making her heart pound when Callie considered going to Miami.
"Fine. Whatever." Callie agreed with poor grace.
"Excellent. I'll see you in a couple of days." Derek beamed and made his way to the door. "Good luck," he added to Arizona, missing the venomous glare that Callie directed at his back.
Arizona leaned against the closed door and stared hungrily at Callie. She was still pale and she had lost some weight since she'd been admitted. The heavy bandages had been removed leaving only the two large plasters that covered where the shunts has been placed. Callie's head was covered in clusters of jet black curls. It was a shocking change from her long hair, but she was stunning and Arizona couldn't take her eyes off her.
She had stayed away for a couple of days, hoping that Callie might be better disposed to seeing her after a short absence but her timing couldn't have been worse. Derek had been unaware of the tension between the two women and had come up with a plan that he thought would be beneficial to Callie's recovery.
He'd been a little off the mark.
"Callie...?"
Arizona waited for some indication that Callie was prepared to even listen to her.
"Calliope...?" That got a response with Callie swinging round and fixing Arizona with a cool stare.
"I believe I asked you not to call me that." Her words were excessively polite and Arizona felt her hackles rise.
"You know what, Callie, I know I dropped a bombshell on you the other night and I know it's got you confused about everything but I'm only trying to help. That's all. Derek sending you home with me was supposed to help."
"Help? Me ... going home with you is not helping. You ...telling me...the things you told me... is not helping."
Callie stood up and began to pace up and down the room like a caged animal, restless and not a little dangerous and Arizona started to worry about Callie's blood pressure.
"Me, with no frigging memories, no clue as to who the hell I am? Not helping."
"Callie, you keep this up and Shepherd will keep you here for a month." Arizona kept her voice firm, hoping to shock Callie into silence. She was getting into a groove of anger and frustration and it wasn't going to help her in the slightest.
The threat worked and Callie came to halt in front of Arizona, her chest heaving and her eyes flashing with emotion.
"Let me see if I've got this right? OK?"
Callie began ticking points off on her fingers as spoke.
"So, George died on me. 2 years ago. I date women now, or more specifically, I date you now. My ultra conservative father is being supportive of our relationship. We were involved in a spree killing, here. At Seattle Grace. And in one fell swoop Mark frigging Sloan is a grandfather? What else did I miss because I swear to god you're going to have to commit me to pysch if I learn one more thing."
Arizona watched as Callie's shoulders slumped and the anger drained from her face.
"I feel like I'm living in some alternate universe, Arizona. Things are similar but there's not one goddamn thing that's the same. I can't stand this. I don't know how to live ...like this. I don't know what you expect me to do...what you want from me."
Arizona wanted to pull Callie into her arms and hold her tight. She wanted to promise her that everything would get better. She wanted to stroke her poor shaven head and kiss her mouth.
But she did none of those things.
Arizona pushed her hands into her pockets to hide their tremble and she looked into Callie's troubled face.
"Callie, forget about the past for now. Just think about here and now, think about the present. Think about getting better." Callie raised an eyebrow and Arizona smiled a little at the gesture. This was Callie being sceptical.
"I'm not kidding, Cal, just concentrate on getting better. Don't worry about the rest. Don't worry about being gay or straight or something in between. It's not that important, not right now." Callie dropped her gaze and Arizona tilted her head, refusing to let her look away.
"And Callie, I'm the woman you made friends with nearly 2 weeks week ago. I'm still that person and even if you can't remember the rest, that's fine too. You don't need to worry about that. Just concentrate on getting better. That's all I want from you."
Callie stared into the eyes of the woman that had literally turned her world upside down. She wanted to hate her, she wanted to storm out and not look back. But she couldn't. She needed help.
She needed her friend.
She chewed her lip and sighed.
"So, looks like you'll be taking me home soon, huh?"
TBC