The cast waved lazily as the latest train of roller coaster cars broke the surface of Cloud, and the stunned occupants waved back numbly before they were sent back down to the world below. Considering Cloud floated 2000 feet above the Earth (give or take), they were in for a long ride.

The next car came up right on schedule, but instead of a train there was Phoenix in a single car. He overrode the safety bar and jumped out onto Cloud seconds before the car fell, striding toward the group at a quick pace.

"We've got another review! Guess the story's really picking up some fans!" Phoenix speculated happily as another car came up through Cloud. The side panel fell off and started floating, the Panem anthem starting up a moment later as the crest flashed up on the screen. Pictures of the Sisters soon replaced the crest, and President Snow's voice sounded out, "Guest proclaims that these three must watch a Disney marathon - " but was interrupted by Winnie and her sisters trying to make a break for it. They were imprisoned, however, by a ring of salt.

"This one must forfeit her magic for a chapter." Snow's voice continued, Winnie's picture appearing on the screen, and ignoring her outraged screaming, Snow continued, "And finally, everyone must tell one embarrassing secret."

"So the Gamemakers say!" Phoenix rumbled in a deep voice, startling all that were near him. That is to say, everyone.

Then Phoenix himself jumped slightly as his phone started vibrating. He couldn't see it, but there was a little speech bubble coming from his phone with an impaled witch's hat inside it. He pulled it out and unlocked it to find he was being Pestered. "Huh. gentryTailor? Wonder who that could be...", he mused as his fingers tapped the keys.

gentryTailor [GT] began Pestering godlyComposer [GC]

GT: OMG! BEST CHAPTER YET! You have a great imagination, Phoenix!

GC: Oh, thank you, but uh...who are you?
GT: Oh, I'm so sorry! Just call me Witch Hunter63 :D
GC: ...That's not really any more enlightening than gentryTailor.
GT: *rolls eyes* I'm a reviewer.
GC: Oh! Well, that changes things then! What would you like to submit?
GT: Oh, I don't have many thin – NUMBER ONE!
GC: *jumps back in surprise*
GT: Given your...talent...for making up pranks
GT: I dare the whole cast, except for Winnie
GT: To have an all-put prank war!
GC: Cool, anything else?
GT: Oh, not reall – NUMBER TWO!
GC: GAH!
GT: Winnie gets her revenge but SHE CAN'T USE MAGIC!
GT: She'll have to do it the old fashioned way ;P
GC: *warily* Anything else?
GT: No, nothing I can thin – NUMBER THREE!
GC: Gets old the third time around.
GT: Right. Anyways, I wanna know: Did Winnie ever actually love Billy?
GC: Ooooh, interesting B3
GT: 'Innit?
GT: Number four. If everyone had the chance (except for Binx), what animal would they be?
GC: Also interesting.
GC: I'mma take out the "'cept for Binx" part though. He might wanna be something else.
GT: Point. Finally, number five! Disenchant Winnie's book...and make her watch as you burn it.
GT: Heh. Heh heh heh...
GT: Ah hah hah!
GT: AH HA HA HA...AH HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!
GC: Very nice B|
GT: Thanks :D
GC: Izzat all?
GT: Yep! Can't wait to see how it turns out B]
GC: Hmm hmm hmm, I'll be sure to make a recording and send it to you.
GT: Lovely. Have to go now, my planet's exploding.
GC: Have fun with that, I have to get this lazy lot into gear!
GT: A truly insurmountable task. Bye!
GC: See ya!

gentryTailor's [GT'S] computer has been caught in a massive, all-consuming planetary explosion.

Phoenix let out a single 'hm' and put his phone away, turning to the cast and saying, "Alright, that was our second review! I'll just keep those items a secret until they come into play."

He grinned savagely and turned to the Sisters, who were cowering in fear, before raising his hand with slow finality. "If you survive, great. If you don't, we're above a cemetery." he said solemnly before snapping his fingers.

Down in Salem, a presumptuous little teenage boy was trying to sneak in the Sanderson Sister's house-turned-museum when piercing shrieks from three separate women filled the night. The boy soiled himself and turned around to go home.

"Well, while they're doing that, let's get to those secrets!" Phoenix cheered, sitting everyone down in a circle and looking at Max expectantly.

"I, uh..." Max faltered, then continued, "I've slept with a can of salt and a bat ever since Halloween."

Thackery and Emily nodded, Dani let out a 'pfft', and Phoenix, May, and Anne simply smiled. Phoenix turned to look at Dani, and she flushed a deep scarlet.

"Uh, I uh, uhm..." she flailed, trying to think of something to say other than what she had in mind, but then sighed in resigned defeat. "I, uhm...h-h-have a cat... that looks exactly like Binx...named...Binx..."

This earned a few snickers and one mutter of 'crazy cat lady' before Phoenix looked at Allison. "Heh heh, uh, I may or may not be obsessed with, uh..." she started, and the rest of the assembled teens leaned in close to hear the whispered, "...Pokemon."

Anne blinked before turning to May and saying, "Knew it."

"Yeah yeah yeah...", the girl grumbled, digging in her pocket for a ten dollar bill.

Similarly, Phoenix was accepting an old-looking coin from Binx, and Dani was watching in satisfaction as Max counted out several twenties. "It was kinda obvious, honey." Anne said sympathetically, patting a stunned Allison on the shoulder before saying loudly, "I've never been kissed!"

"Last time I tried cooking I burned my house down." May said calmly, and a smile appeared on Phoenix's face.

"I...I..." Thackery began, then flushed and said, "I may have unintentionally created My Little Pony."

Dani made a 'snrk' sort of noise, Emily looked confused (for she hadn't really investigated the modern world beyond her interests), Anne began laughing, May joined in with Anne after a few moments of trying to suppress her laughter, Allison tried to fight down a smile, Max forced a smile as he tried to hide his 'Bronies' t-shirt, and Phoenix bit his lip for a second before managing to get out, "Explain please."

"Well, it was one of those days where it rains but the sun was still shining, and it made a sort of rainbow in front of a horse, and... I thought it was rainbow-colored." Thackery admitted embarrassedly, and Emily giggled and said, "Oh, I remember that! He woke up the village elders for that, raving and yelling about the 'horse imbued with the essence of light'."

Even people who weren't on Cloud at the time burst out laughing at this, and exactly twenty-three people were committed to insane asylums that day.

Once the laughter had died down, Phoenix snapped his fingers to bring the Sisters back, but the three women that appeared in front of him were not the women that disappeared a few minutes ago. These women were shivering profusely, and as blankets were settled over their shoulders and mugs of cocoa pressed into their hands, Sarah babbled, "The circle of life... Ohana means family... under the sea!" then began tittering like a madwoman.

"...Let's just give them a couple minutes to...calm down." Phoenix delegated firmly, sending them away and immediately bringing them back.

"Death to you and your family." Winnie said firmly, and Phoenix sighed, "Oh, how I love subjective time. Now! You three must each say one secret. Go!"

The Sisters merely stared at him. "Let's rephrase that." Phoenix said in a deadpan, "The Sister that spills a secret of one of the other two gets a child's life force."

"Mary keeps dog treats in her hair!" Sarah shouted, and before she could react Winnie cut in with a calm, "And raw meat too."

Mary spluttered a bit before growing scarily calm, smiling serenely, and saying, "The Master actually gave me Book, and Winnie was so jealous she stole it from me. And Sarah... Sarah is half-demon."

Max spit out some Coke he had been drinking, Allison let out a sort of strangled shriek and drew Max close to her, Dani and Emily made whimpering noises and clutched at Thackery, and Billy twitched a few times before spontaneously combusting.

"Poor guy...", Phoenix mumbled, inconspicuously putting up a slight shield. 'Slight' being the size of Salem itself. Sarah herself was glaring murderously at Mary, and her chin quivered a moment before she opened her mouth and began screaming incredibly intelligent profanities nobody could understand.

"You...you piteously vulgar, half-witted, rotten, thick-headed mental midget with the natural grace of an intoxicated beluga whale!" she shouted, one of the things the surrounding people could actually comprehend, and with that the gloves were off.

"Shall we move on, then?" Phoenix asked brightly, studiously ignoring the catfight going on behind him.

"Uh...what are we supposed to do? You never told us." Dani asked, still eyeing Sarah nervously as she determinedly tried to rip Mary's face off.

"Have a prank war." he said simply, and with that, pies fell on the head of everyone present.

"Need time to plan and get supplies. Next chapter." Allison ground out in a deadly hiss, and the others nodded venomously.

"Kay." Phoenix replied with a smile before saying to Winnie, "Get revenge. Without magic."

The witch glared at him, but nodded and said, "Very well. I will need supplies, so it will have to wait."

"Alright. Just asking, seriously very curious, but did you ever actually love Billy?" Phoenix asked, gesturing to the charred remains of the zombie before he did a double take and reconstituted him.

Winnie kept on glaring, but something in her eyes...softened. Changed.

"Once." she said quietly, "A very long time ago."

Phoenix bit his lip and nodded, then asked everyone, "If you had the chance to turn into an animal, what would you be? I'd be a peregrine falcon, personally."

"Panther." Dani said without hesitation, followed closely by Thackery's, "Human. Human human human. Never want to be a cat again..."

"A mare." Emily said with a cute smile, and Allison said nonchalantly, "A dolphin. They always seem so playful."

"Cheetah. I'd never be late for anything." Max said with a laugh, and May said shortly, "Leopard."

"Lioness. Roar." Anne said with a smile, and then Winnie said smugly, "I would like to become an abaasy, a demon with teeth as sharp as steel that occupies the Underworld."

"Owl!" Sarah shouted from her fight with Mary, and Mary shouted, "Wolf!"

Phoenix started smiling as he prepared the last task, taking out a peculiar sort of bluish stone and transmuting a part of Cloud into fire. And then he drew, from the space between spaces, Winnie's Book.

Winnie caught on almost immediately and had to be restrained by fragments of Cloud, starting to scream as she watched Phoenix touch the stone to Book's closed eye and mutter a few incomprehensible words. Then he plucked Book's eye from the cover and threw its body into the bonfire, turning away and moving to a worktable as an explosion of black smoke billowed from the fire.

He moved his hands over the surface of the table, his body placed between it and the others. Then a crunching sound was heard, a fwoosh that sounded like something catching fire, and then Phoenix turned around with a new Book in his hand.

It was bound, not in human skin, but in the finest of dragon hides, impervious to most spells and, indeed, fire. Whirling around in an indent in the cover was the eye from the old Book, and as Phoenix handed it to a stunned Winnie he said, "His old body was falling apart anyway."

Then Winnie fainted, and the host took that as the cue to shout, "See ya next chapter!"