Mmm, Kurt thought. I don't remember Blaine bringing in a body pillow for me to sleep with, but I have GOT to get me one of these. Nothing hurts anymore. He shifted and snuggled up to the pillow some more, his eyes shooting open when the pillow snuggled right back. The "pillow" also hummed contently and began caressing the gentle swell of his belly.
Oh shit. BLAINE.
The awkwardness increased when an obviously still asleep Blaine shifted and what could only be explained as morning wood rubbed firmly against Kurt's ass through his thin pajama pants.
Kurt laid there feigning sleep, trying to figure out how he should get out of the situation he was in. He was terrified his breathing was going to give him away - it had increased to near hyperventilation levels. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait too long.
"Fuck," Blaine swore in a whisper. The comforting heat practically jumped away from Blaine's body as he pulled away from Kurt and nearly ran into the bathroom. Kurt sighed heavily, thankful for the opportunity to think for a moment and calm himself down.
Okay, he thought. This doesn't have to be weird. I'll just take my cues from Blaine.
Which ended up being Blaine ignoring the whole thing entirely. He snuck out of the bathroom quietly, obviously trying not to wake Kurt.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Blaine asked quietly.
"Nah, it's okay, I think my body was ready to get up. Everything okay? You took off out of bed awfully fast."
"Um, no! No problem. None at all. I just really had to pee, ya know? Like, NOW."
Kurt shrugged internally. So he was going to go the ignoring route. Okie dokie. When in Rome...
"Believe me, I know. This kid isn't big enough to sit on my bladder yet, but he or she is still doing its best to make me go forty times a day anyway." They both chuckled.
Kurt made his excuses to leave soon after. He was respecting Blaine's unspoken decision not to address the pink elephant in the bed, but try as he might, he knew it was going to get weird if he stayed too much longer. It was just as well, because Blaine's close proximity had stirred up feelings inside him that he was going to have to address himself.
Kurt walked into his apartment an hour later, thanking whatever deity that was listening for the empty loft; someone or something was on his side that day. Kurt made a beeline for his bedside table and dug deep underneath all the various flotsam that ended up in his drawer for his most loyal friends: his Rabbit and the totally amazing tube of warming lube that he had found on his trip to the Museum of Sex.
With his body as "awake" as it was at that moment, it wasn't going to take much.
If the walls in Blaine's apartment could talk, they would've been gossiping about the squelching noises coming from Blaine's room. The door had barely closed behind Kurt before Blaine was drenching his fingers in lube and taking himself in hand. He was in no mood or condition to go slow and build himself up. He needed to come, like yesterday, and his hands were working himself into a frenzy.
"I can't fall for my surrogate, I can't fall for my surrogate, I can't - oh god - fall for my - fuck - surrogate, I can't... KURT!" he chanted, gasping Kurt's name as he hurtled over the edge.
Blaine laid back on the bed, panting as he came down from his orgasm. The orgasm that was the best one he'd had in a long time.
Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest, he thought.
What the HELL am I going to do?