CHAPTER 11
"Good luck," Gi whispered to Linka with a quick hug. The Asian girl winked at her, keeping their secret, as she distanced herself from the young lovers.
Linka tried to drown the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She felt irritated because she had hardly slept the night before. On top of it, the flight to San Diego had not been so smooth due to windy conditions. It was as if her own element was sensing her state of mind and showcasing it to the world. Traitor, thought Linka sourly, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket. She watched silently as Wheeler went through the procedure of securing the Geo Cruiser.
When he returned by her side, they decided to head to the downtown area. They would check in to their hotel later, where they would spend the night before picking up Gi the following afternoon.
A warm breeze was blowing and the sun was shining high in the bright cerulean sky. Linka was holding on to Wheeler's hand and, physically, she was standing close to him, but her mind was miles away from the busy streets of San Diego. She felt ghost-like and completely out of place in what should be a fun couple's outing.
It was almost two o'clock in the afternoon when they reached a welcoming café that smelled of freshly-baked bread. Wheeler suggested they stop for a late lunch and Linka agreed. Her feet were starting to ache from walking about.
The atmosphere inside was cool; the walls were mint green with strings of blue leaves painted on. Wheeler and Linka chose a small booth by the window, noting that most of the lunch crowd had already left. Beside them, an elderly Asian couple was drinking tea. The only other patrons were two school-aged children busy eating French fries and their father, who was sipping on a tall glass of red wine.
Linka excused herself to go to the restroom and Wheeler nodded absent-mindedly, already busy scrutinizing the menu.
Once inside, Linka took her time. She washed her hands carefully and watched her reflection intently in the oval-shaped mirror above the sink. There were dark circles under her eyes and her face seemed pale to her. Her hair was disheveled and she swiftly pulled it back in a loose ponytail she positioned over one shoulder. She pinched her cheeks a little to bring some color to her face and took a deep breath. Maybe she should be following Gi's suggestion of telling Wheeler instead of wasting time. That way, the agonizing mind torture would stop once and for all. It would be out in the open and Wheeler could freely decide if he wanted any part in it. Her heart began to thud in her chest and she bit her lip.
It was going to be ok, she reassured herself, closing her eyes against the rush of emotions overtaking her. They were going to have a lovely lunch together, and then she was going to order dessert and between one bite of delicious chocolate cake and another, she would tell Wheeler she was expecting his child. People were always in a good mood at dessert time, right?
Linka took in a series of calming breaths and lightly patted her belly. Wish me luck, she communicated silently to her baby, hoping with all her heart that things would work out fine in the end for them both.
The encouraging thoughts Linka had formed in the restroom evaporated like ice in the sun once she returned to the dining hall. A cheerful, young waitress was standing at their table, lost in conversation with Wheeler, who was in turn smiling up at her. Linka's palms clenched involuntarily as she quickly assessed the girl, who was sporting a trendy black bob and a white blouse partly unbuttoned to show off her busty figure.
The waitress was now laughing at something Wheeler was saying and Linka stepped forward, seeing red. An ugly feeling was forming inside her, gripping her mind mercilessly. She brushed past the girl and sat down opposite Wheeler, a cool smile plastered on her face.
"Can you give us five more minutes? We are not yet ready to order. Thank you."
Linka's words were delivered with a politeness that was as soft as steel. The waitress lowered her eyes, seeming unsure whether to reply, then wisely turned to leave after a moment's pause.
Wheeler opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it again once he locked eyes with Linka. She, in turn, calmly picked up the menu, but the letters were jumbled before her eyes. There was a dangerous twist of emotions brewing up inside her, the beginning of a deadly tornado.
"It is too bad she is not on the menu," she commented smartly, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. She looked over at Wheeler and saw all good humor fading from his face.
"Linka, what are you talkin' about?" His tone was level but she could sense the irritation behind it.
Linka crossed her arms over her chest. She was in no mood to hold back. The stress of recent events was piled high on her shoulders and she was feeling its burden.
"I am starting to wonder if the reason our relationship is so successful is because we live on a deserted Island."
The comment lay heavy in the air and Linka could see the muscles in Wheeler's jaw tense up. She had always been jealous of any attention he gave to other women, but now she had even more reasons to be furious. Damn it! She was pregnant and he should be dedicating every waking moment to her and her alone. No ends, if, or buts!
"Did they serve you a fresh batch of hormones in the bathroom?" Wheeler shot back, unkindly, gripping the end of the table with visible force.
Linka narrowed her eyes at him and scoffed. She silently wondered if her behavior was indeed due to the elevated levels of hormones in her system. But there was no way she was going to give Wheeler the upper hand when she was the one being wronged.
"I cannot believe you! I turn my back for one moment and I find you chatting up some random waitress!"
"I wasn't chatting her up!" Wheeler remarked, shaking his head for emphasis. "She was the one who started talking to me in the first place!"
"Oh, that is very comforting. How nice to know that you do not turn down pretty girls who throw themselves at you!"
"You're exaggerating, like always," Wheeler pointed out, sighing and running a hand through his hair.
"I am not the problem! I see that your annoying old habits are still in place, after all. Well, maybe you should be sitting here with your new friend instead of me!"
Linka sensed tears and this ignited her anger even more, for she did not take well to weakness. She made to stand, hastily, noticing that the elderly couple was now watching the ordeal with interest. Like passersby awed by a roadside accident.
Wheeler readily took her wrist to stop her movements.
"Linka, sit back down and calm yourself," he instructed in a cool voice, his eyes meeting hers in an effort to soothe.
"I am not hungry anymore." Linka punctuated her words by pulling her hand away from his hold.
"How can you even think I want someone else when I have you?" Wheeler asked point-in-blank, taking her hand more gently this time and pulling her closer.
Linka blinked back her emotions and looked away from his eyes. She felt overwhelmed and this caused her pain, as if there was an open wound on her skin too close to a flame. How could she be sure that Wheeler would remain by her side through the delicate stages of pregnancy? He had just proved that his attention span was apparently very short, and she would not look the same as now, nor would she be so independent...
Linka breathed deeply and newly pulled her hand from his grasp. "Let go of me, I want to be alone." Her tone of voice sounded cold to her own ears but she took no heed of it.
"Linka..." groaned Wheeler in a final attempt to claim her, but she quickly advanced towards the open door and stepped out without looking back.
She broke into a light jog once she felt a lone tear cascading down her cheek. She was even more miserable not knowing where she was heading. The streets all looked the same, and she had no desire to go anywhere in particular.
On an impulse, she stopped and placed a hand over her stomach. Linka wasn't sure she should be running at this stage in her pregnancy. Hell, she knew very little about being pregnant in general, which reminded her it was probably a good idea to see a doctor in the very near future. Already she was a terrible mother!
The cruelty of her thoughts was like a hundred daggers' worth of pain. She took random side streets, not wanting Wheeler to find her in this sorry state. As masochistic as it was, she wanted to be alone with her thoughts; she deserved some sort of punishment, anyway.
She was on foot, alone, in a strange city, hungry, tired, fuming, and pregnant. Linka let herself collapse on a lone bus bench, finally giving in to the solace of tears.