This takes place the night after Nate tells Blair about him and Serena. Someone requested that I do another oneshot in the style of This Is How It Should Be, but I was feeling a touch of the angst so this is quite dark.
Enjoy.
Grey Ceiling On The Earth
'You have to learn to love a child before you can love the adult it's become.'
– Anonymous
'The grey ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child.'
– Your Winter, Sister Hazel.
Blair supposed hazily that what she was doing was weak, childlike – not grown up enough to merit attention from a mother who wouldn't have given her the time of day even if she had asked for it. Still, it seemed as if she didn't care. There was no part of her body or brain indicating any pain over the foregone conclusion. Only sweat dewed her forehead, only tears overran her dark eyes – only her head swam, and her head swam thickly with betrayal and lies, facts bursting their dams and creating tsunamis of forbidden information.
She didn't know who'd called him; she only knew when he was there, beside her. Chuck sank to his knees, reaching for the curled up body of his best friend's girlfriend and holding her as she sobbed into his shoulder. Had Nate really been dumb enough to think that she hadn't known – or at least suspected – the real reason Serena had left town? She'd been the one to sent them off together, after all, the one to tell herself she was seeing things when Nate came back ruffled and Serena never came back at all.
The room reeked, and he wondered how many times she'd purged – once? Twice? More? How many would it take to hurt her? There was a bitter taste in his own mouth, a sorrow that was not his own, and a lust that he knew very well to be his. For the more she gripped his shirt, the more he imagined her nails raking across his back. The more she sobbed, the more he could imagine how she'd moan. The more he could only be her friend, he longed for something more, for a completion to the ache which offered him nothing but fiercely denied pain.
The more she held onto him and not to Nate, Chuck Bass could dream. He could dream that the beautiful girl he held in his arms was his, and that one day the gossip, the scandal and every tear she'd cried would be for something.
Fin.