A/N: I'm away with work at the moment but have managed to get the next chapter ready and because you are all so very lovely I'm going to post it even though I only updated yesterday.

First off, in the last A/N I obviously meant don't read in public, jut shows you how far in the gutter my mind was that I missed out the l.

Secondly, that's all on the smut front for a bit. Get ready for a bit of uncertainty and angst, but please go with it as there is method in my madness I promise.

I feel a bit embarrassed constantly repeating myself about how much I appreciate all of your alerts and comments but what the hell. You are all amazing and I hope I can keep up the momentum.

Enjoy and obviously tell me what you think.

Lesson 9 - to thine own self be true

Day 9 - Emily

I tap my foot impatiently, "Effy where the fuck are you?"

She hasn't come back this morning and I really need to talk to her, to tell her what's happened and to get her advice about what I should do. I know it's pathetic but I can't order my thoughts and I need my friend.

I'd finally caught up with Katie yesterday as she stormed away from Naomi's but she told me to fuck off and that she'd deal with me later. I seriously contemplated going back, but I wasn't sure I'd get a great reception, Naomi seemed pretty annoyed with me. Also I wasn't sure fanning the flames where Katie was concerned was the best thing to do.

When I arrived back at the room Effy wasn't here and I spent most of the night pacing up and down, muttering to myself. I'd even resorted to writing out a list of pluses and minuses that had come about due to the fact Katie had caught me in bed with Naomi.

Pluses - I can finally admit I'm gay, Naomi might not hate me

Minuses - Katie and the rest of my family will completely disown me and I'll die alone

Ok so it's a bit of a shit list but you get the idea. The horrified look on Katie's face when she realised it was me in bed with Naomi is indelibly etched on my brain. It was the only thing I saw every time I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. As a consequence I had a restless slumber full of nightmares about my family's reaction that has left me with massive bags under my eyes and in a jittery mood. Hence the foot tapping and waiting for Effy.

I give her another 20 minutes before I decide I can't put off the inevitable, I need to find Katie and talk to her. It won't be hard to locate her, she'll be by the pool in her usual spot. Getting her to talk to me on the other hand, well let's just say that's going to be a whole different kettle of fish.

Let me explain. You know when people normally get pissed off and ignore you? They shout a bit at first and then they avoid you and refuse to speak to you right? So you know they're not happy and you give them a bit of space to calm down until you can both sort it out. One or both of you says sorry and the air gets cleared.

Not Katie, as far as she's concerned you've done something wrong so it's her job to punish you as much as possible. You know she's pissed off because she tells you but after that her behaviour deviates from the norm. She'll carry on her day as normal, which is why I know she'll be at the pool, you're the one who's fucked up so why should she put herself out by thinking of something different to do to avoid you?

But she won't just ignore you, oh no, that's just the absence of speaking to you, Katie proactively makes you feel like you don't exist anymore. She won't sit and glare, or voice displeasure to anyone else, or pointedly make comments, she just wipes you from the face of the earth. People use the phrase 'dead to me'? Not Katie, she can't engage in any way with you because as far as she's concerned you weren't ever born.

When it happens to other people it can be impressive to watch. Their faces contort in confusion as Katie erases all memory of them even if they're standing right in front of her, she looks through them like they're not there. Unsurprisingly, I'm not really looking forward to being on the receiving end.

I think about hiding in my room or going down to the beach for the rest of the day but that's no good either. Again as far as Katie is concerned you need to suffer for your misdemeanours so she will actively seek you out, just so she can make sure you realise you're being ignored. What's the point if you aren't there to see how worthless you are and feel the full extent of her disdain?

I'm making her sound like the biggest bitch in the world, which she can be, but she has a lot of good qualities too. No really she does, I'm just struggling to think of them at the moment.

I've thought long and hard about why it upsets her so much that I might be gay. She's not universally homophobic, to coin the phrase, some of her best friends are gay. Well not always best friends exactly but she doesn't give a shit that other people aren't straight, it doesn't bother her in the slightest that Effy has shagged girls, it's just me. I've often speculated it's because she doesn't want it reflecting badly on her, she cares so much about her reputation and what other people think, she doesn't want the shame of having a sister who's 'different'. Effy thinks it's far more deep rooted than that but she never tells me exactly what she means.

I pick up my bag and check I've got everything, iPhone, book, suncream. I place my sunglasses on and head out the door.

I sigh as it clicks behind me, time to face the music.

I step out of the lifts and make my way to the double doors that lead to the pool. Shit it's Naomi. I can't really avoid her without making it totally obvious that's what I'm doing but anyway it's pointless as she clocks me and walks over.

She smiles unsurely, "Hi."

I nod back a greeting, "Hey."

Well it's a good job this isn't awkward.

"Look Emily..." she hesitates and takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry about yesterday."

Sorry about what? Does she regret sleeping with me again? Not that I gave her much choice. Oh shit, did I push her into it? Or was it crap?

My brain spirals off as per usual.

She reads my mind, "not about the sex, most definitely not that. I'm sorry for how I behaved after Katie walked in on us."

I shrug, "It's ok."

Naomi shakes her head, "No it isn't. I shouldn't have been so selfish and childish."

"You weren't..." I begin but she stops me.

"Emily, it's really sweet of you, but I was. I acted like a spoilt child who's had it's favourite toy taken away, and believe me I have enough contact with kids like that to know." she replies.

I give her a half smile, "I guess you were a bit petulant, but I understand why. You were disappointed I didn't stand up to Katie."

"Yeah I was, but that's no excuse. You had a shock and felt pushed into a corner, I should have remembered what it was like and been more supportive." she states.

I don't know what to say, so I say nothing.

She smiles, "So I'll try now ok? If you want me to be around when you talk to Katie I can be. She's by the pool."

I pause, "Err, I'm not sure now is a good time..."

Naomi frowns, "You are going to tell her?"

I blush and get flustered, "Well, yeah, I mean eventually I'll talk to her..."

"Oh come on Emily, why do you keep putting it off? You're gay, Katie needs to accept there's no shame in it." Naomi says exasperatedly.

Something inside me snaps, "You know what? I'm sick of this, you're as bad as she is."

She looks surprised, "I'm just trying to help..."

I shake my head, "No you're not because if you were you wouldn't be trying to force me to come out when I'm not ready. You act like this is really easy for me, it's a few words and then everything will be fine, but it won't, I know it won't, she's going to hate me, my whole family will hate me..."

Naomi hugs me as I start to cry, "Shhh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm making a right pig's ear of this."

She holds me tightly until I calm down, I pull away embarrassed. "Sorry, you must think I'm such a baby."

She shakes her head, "No actually, I don't."

She wipes a stray tear from my cheek and I give her a weak smile, "The relationship I have with Katie is complicated, over the years I've learnt how to... manage it I suppose. From the outside it must look like I'm weak and I give in all the time, but I know the best way to deal with her."

Naomi sighs, "I know you do. Emily, I came out when I was 15, that's a long time ago and I had supportive friends and my Mum to rely on. I'm comfortable in my skin now but it wasn't easy. I forget that sometimes and I really don't mean to push you into something you don't want to do yet."

"I know you're trying to help, and I really appreciate it honestly, but everyone keeps thinking I need a shove in one direction or another. What about what I want?" I respond quietly.

"You're a lot stronger than people give you credit for. It just..." she pauses and lifts my chin and all I focus on is the blue eyes warmly looking at me, "I know you can do this Emily, I believe in you, you just need to be brave."

I roll my eyes, "Easy for you to say, you have met my sister right?"

Naomi laughs and drops her hand, "fair point. Listen, when you do decide to tell her I'll be around if you need anything, you know someone to talk to, someone who understands what it's like."

I smile gratefully, "Thanks that means a lot."

She pauses, "I've been thinking about what you said, you know about cooling off on the lessons? I think you're right, you don't need stuff like that complicating everything at the moment."

Stuff like what? Stuff like someone actually wanting to fuck me? I frown, "Oh ok, I guess this is turning into a hassle you don't need."

"Emily, I'm trying to be selfless here, it doesn't come easy believe me, especially when I'm passing up the opportunity to get you into bed again." she says with a smile.

I smile back.

"But I think you need to sort this out, even if you're not ready to talk to Katie yet you need to get it straight in your own head. It doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you, I really like being with you. Let's just be friends ok?" Naomi says gently.

Hmmm, we say that don't we? But when I look at her I know she's genuinely trying to help so I nod, "Sure, friends is good and I'll need all the support I can get."

Naomi hugs me again and I sigh into her body as I wrap my arms around her. She strokes my hair and I hug her back tightly, it makes me feel safe and I wish we could just stay like this but eventually she pulls away.

She strokes my cheek before she walks off, I watch as she turns back with a smile, "remember, be brave Emily, just be brave."

I turn back to the door and gulp, I don't feel brave as I realise it's time to find Katie and try to make amends.

I glance over at Katie again, she's fastidiously ignoring me and concentrating on her magazine. She hasn't acknowledged me once since I sat down which is what I expected but it's starting to piss me off. Fair enough she was shocked yesterday and maybe she needed some time to get her head around it but this ostrich act of burying her head in the sand and pretending it didn't happen is fucking ludicrous.

One of the waiters walks up and asks if we want any drinks. Katie smiles and flutters her eyelashes at him and asks for a cocktail. He turns to me and I'm about to ask for a beer but Katie interrupts.

"That's all, gracias." and he walks away with a bemused expression.

"I wanted a beer." I say indignantly.

Silence as Katie carries on reading her magazine.

I mutter something to myself and return to my book. Stupid cow, always thinking she knows what's best for me. Ever since we were kids Katie has always taken charge, she got to pick the clothes we wore (matching of course, until I rebelled), the friends we had (hers) and everything we did (shopping mainly, which I fucking hate). She's a couple of minutes older and apparently that gives her the right to order me about and decree how I should behave.

Sometimes I wish I had the balls to tell her to fuck off, I'm a person too, I'm not her. But I'm usually so meek it wouldn't make any difference, what good is it being my own person if at the slightest sign of confrontation I back down and do whatever Katie wants anyway?

I look up and smile as I see Cook wandering over, I'm still a bit embarrassed about grabbing his arse the other night and I'm mortified he barged in on me and Naomi, but he's so easy going it's hard to imagine he cares.

"Nice bikini Red, shows off your rack to perfection." he says with a grin.

I should be offended but his cheeky chappie persona is one of the reasons I find it hard not to like him. Also the fact that I wore this bikini purely because it makes my tits look great means I can't really complain he's noticed, "Cheers Cook, you really are a charmer."

He winks, "Don't ya know it babe, are you sure you're definitely a muff muncher and there's no chance we could willy waggle?"

I laugh, "Come back when hell freezes over and I'll see."

He shrugs, "Can't blame a guy for trying. So do you fancy going out on the prowl tonight, picking up some hot chicks and fucking them senseless?"

I can't see her but I can tell Katie bristles.

"Thanks for the offer Cook but there's a few things I need to sort out." I nod towards Katie.

He indicates he understands, "So Katiekins, if your sister isn't up for it how about you? Fancy a rerun of the other night?"

Katie snorts, "One, I don't have a sister and two, the other night was ok but nothing special so I'll pass."

Cook looks confused, "What do you mean you don't have a sister? I'm looking right at her."

Katie gives him a withering look and turns away.

I sigh, "This is Katie's unique way of making it clear she's unhappy with me."

"What by pretending you don't exist?" Cook clarifies.

I nod,"Yep, I've been wiped of the face of the earth."

Cook snorts, "bit fucking childish isn't it?"

I smile to myself as Katie glares at him, "did you want anything else?"

Cook holds his hands up, "nope, I'll be off. Maybe see you in the bar later."

"Not if I see you first." Katie says with a tight smile, God she's so like Mum sometimes.

He walks away and I hear him mutter something about 'weird twin shit'.

"That was a bit pathetic wasn't it?" I state.

Katie ignores me and we lapse into awkward silence again. I continue to read but inside I'm bubbling. My annoyance slowly builds and turns to anger. How fucking dare she treat me like that in front of someone else. What gives her the right to act all high and mighty? I'm gay, I haven't murdered someone, all I've done is sleep with one girl. Jesus, she fucks around all over the place, why does it make it ok for her to be a slapper because she's straight. Why is it more 'normal' to shag a different bloke every night than to be in love with one person and to fuck someone because you find them attractive?

There is a commotion across the other side of the pool and I see Naomi standing with a microphone, she announces that it's time for the daily quiz. She almost sounds enthusiastic but then she glances over and rolls her eyes at me. I smile back and think about our chat earlier, be brave she said. She believes in me, she thinks I'm strong enough to do this and you know what? I fucking well am. I'm not going to take any more shit off Katie, she can fuck right off if she thinks she can spend the rest of our lives telling me what do. I'm Emily Fitch, I'm gay and I don't give a flying fuck she doesn't like it.

My anger rises to the surface and I practically rip my earphones out of my ears. I get up and snatch Katie's magazine from her. Yeah, have to take notice now don't you bitch?

She finally stares directly at me and her eyes widen as she sees the expression on my face, "Give that back."

I shake my head, "No Katie, we need to talk and I'm not moving until we do."

She shrugs, "I'd finished reading it anyway."

I throw the magazine back at her, "I couldn't give a fuck. Stop ignoring me and let's get this all out in the open."

Her eyebrow raises, "I'll talk to you when you stop all this silliness."

"Silliness? Silliness? How can you describe something this important so flippantly?" I spit at her.

"Em, this isn't you. You've had ideas put in your head and the sooner you forget all about them, and her, the better." Katie responds patronisingly.

I scoff, "You just don't get it do you? This isn't a phase or an experiment Katie."

She smiles, "Calm down Emsie, I know it feels real but you'll soon see it'll pass."

It's like a red rag to a bull, "For fuck's sake Katie, it won't pass because I don't want it to. I'm gay, I like girls."

She looks wildly around, "Keep your voice down people are staring."

"I don't care. Is that really all you give a shit about? What other people might think?" I reply.

"Yes, I care what other people think, unlike you I don't like making a show of myself in front of everyone." she hisses.

I laugh bitterly, "You fucking bitch. This is a massive deal for me and all you care about is being embarrassed in front of a bunch of strangers."

She shrugs and the gesture infuriates me even more. I glance around, people are staring and the quiz has stopped. Naomi smiles encouragingly at me and I know what I need to do. If Katie wants embarrassment I'll give her proper humiliation. I stride over to the blonde and grab the microphone. I stare defiantly at Katie who has finally cottoned on to what I'm about to do, she looks horrified.

"Hi everyone I'm Emily, and I have an announcement." I speak calmly.

Katie rises and starts to make her way over, "Don't you dare Emily, don't you fucking dare."

"I just wanted everyone to know, but particularly my twin sister, that I'm gay. There Katie I've said it, believe me now?" I state.

Katie reaches me and tries to get the microphone, "Give me that you stupid cow."

I struggle but continue, "That's right folks, I'm gay as a window, total lezza, no cock for me, I love shagging girls."

Some of the parents have covered their children's ears but the majority of people are laughing, including the blonde standing next to me.

"Actually, I like shagging a particular girl," I point to Naomi, "she's great in the sack, girls you should try it, oh wait most of you probably have."

"Oy! Don't be cheeky." she gives me a shove but she's still smiling, I grin back.

Katie stands there like a statue, "Well done Emily, you fucking bitch, how could you embarrass me like that, I'm never speaking to you again."

She storms off and some of the fight leaves me, I was running on adrenalin but now I'm painfully aware of everyone staring at me.

"Well thanks for listening and sorry I interrupted the quiz." I hand the microphone back, my face is burning.

Naomi covers it, "Are you ok?"

My shoulders sag, "I don't know. Shit, what have I done? I'd better go after her."

"Ok, but like I said if you need me I'll be here." she says gently.

I nod, "Thanks, but I'm not sure anything's going to help."

She smiles, "Well at least no one can accuse you of being a coward."

I grimace, I'm not sure that's a good thing. I wander off in a daze, at the time it seemed like a good idea to shock Katie but now all I feel is embarrassment. I run into Cook.

"Nice speech Red, I don't think it left anyone in any doubt about your sexuality." he grins.

I frown, "Have you seen Katie?"

He nods, "She ran back towards the hotel, she looked upset."

Oh fuck, this is all my fault. I need to find her quickly and make this right, but I'm not sure I can. I run towards her room and bump into Effy.

"What the fuck is going on? Katie's just rushed past and refused to speak to me." Effy asks.

"I need to find her Eff, I've fucked up a bit." I reply sheepishly.

Effy sighs, "She's probably gone back to her room, I've still got a key from the other night, come on."

I follow her gratefully and prepare myself for the explosion that's bound to take place when we find Katie.

As we enter the room I can hear Katie wailing, Effy rushes in and pulls her into a tight hug, "What the fuck did you do Emily?"

"I didn't do anything... I... I... just wanted her to understand." I stammer.

Katie sneers at me through her teary eyes, "Get the fuck out of here, I hate you."

Her words cut through me like a knife, "Katie, please."

"I said GET OUT." she screams at me but I refuse to leave.

She turns to Effy, "Do you know what she just did? She humiliated me I front of everyone at the pool. I can't show my face here again, I'll have to go home."

Effy is still in the dark, "how did Em humiliate you?"

"She... She..." Katie's chest is heaving, "she told everyone she was gay."

Effy can't help the snort of laughter, "She did what?"

"She announced over the microphone that she was a lezza who liked shagging girls." Katie sobs.

Effy swallows as she strokes Katie's hair, I can tell she's trying not to laugh, "oh babe, that must have been awful."

Katie sniffs, "It was Eff, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole."

"There, there, it'll be ok." Effy soothes.

I cough, "Katie, I'm sorry I acted the way I did, but something just snapped. I shouldn't have been so public but you wouldn't listen."

Katie glares at me, "so you thought you'd announce it to the world? Now everyone will be calling us the gay Fitch twins and laughing behind our backs."

Something clicks into place, "Is that what this is about? You think people will assume you're gay too?"

Katie sneers, "Of course that's what they'll assume, we're identical Emily."

I start to laugh until Effy shoots me a look, "Katie, everyone can see within two minutes of meeting us that we might look the same but that's where the similarities end."

Katie snorts, "Yeah but they won't be able to tell that if they won't come anywhere near me because they think I'm a dyke."

I frown, "Katie people aren't that stupid."

"Oh yeah? Do you remember at school when everyone finally found out you we're in love with Effy? I had to put up with shit for months because of that." Katie responds.

I'm shocked, "Really? I didn't notice."

Effy nods, "It's true Em, Katie did get a hard time. I had to step in on a couple of occasions."

The fact that Effy had to stick up for Katie stuns me, Katie can handle herself, she's always been capable of fighting her own battles, and usually mine too.

"I had no idea." I say quietly.

Katie shrugs, "why would you? You were so wrapped up in your own little world of angst nothing else got through. You didn't give a fuck that I might cop some of the fall out, it was all about you."

"Hey, that's not fair. I was going through a lot and the two people I relied on for support were the ones I couldn't go to, I had nobody." I challenge.

Effy raises her eyebrow, "Come on Emily, don't be so dramatic."

I turn on her, "Oh great, this is typical. The pair of you ganging up on me as usual."

Effy sighs, "Em, I knew you had feelings for me, it was obvious. We could have talked about it more if that's what you needed. I just left it up to you and you never said anything unless we were drunk. Then you'd sober up and pretend it didn't happen."

I frown, "it was embarrassing, being in love with you when you didn't feel the same way."

"So typical Em, you ignored it and hoped it would sort itself out. What did you expect, that Effy would wake up one day and decide she was in love with you after all?" Katie says with scorn.

I blush, that's exactly what I hoped.

"Jesus Christ Em, how pathetic. Why didn't you get it all out in the open and maybe then you could have moved on? Instead you've used Effy as your security blanket all these years." Katie states.

"What do you mean?" I question.

Effy shrugs, oh brilliant a real two hander, "You hid behind the fact you were in love with me as an excuse to stop having to admit you were gay."

"I did not." I splutter.

Katie nods, "Yes you did."

My temperature rises and I can feel myself get defensive, I turn to Effy, "And what about the part you played in all this?"

She's surprised, "What part?"

I snort, "Maybe you're right, maybe I did use the way I feel about you as some sort of shield, but it suited you right down to the ground didn't it?"

"I don't know what you mean." Effy says narrowing her eyes.

"Oh yes you fucking do. You liked the fact I followed you around like a puppy, it made you feel good knowing I was devoted to you. That way you could go off and fuck anyone you wanted safe in the knowledge that sweet little Emily would always be there to pick up the pieces when it went tits up. You always made sure I had just enough hope to keep me interested." I spit.

Effy shakes her head, "You're wrong, it wasn't like that."

"Yeah, it was Eff, but I'm sick of that too. Both of you are always trying to control me, pretending you're doing it for my own good but really it's just to keep me in my place. Emily Fitch, in Katie's shadow and Effy's bitch. Well no more, I'm not putting up with it." my voice is steely.

The two of them glance at each other before Katie turns back to me, "Ok."

I'm too angry to notice at first, "Katie I'm gay, get over it."

"Ok." she repeats but I'm on a roll.

"I'm a person, I'm not you, I'm Emily and I like girls." I state defiantly.

Effy starts to laugh, "Katie said ok Em, twice."

I pause, "What?"

Katie shrugs, "I said ok, you're gay, I get it."

"Really? You're alright with it?" I ask incredulously, I can't believe she's caved.

Katie shrugs, "Not totally, but I'll get there. You were always so wishy washy and unsure, I suppose that gave me licence to think it might not be true. Now, you seem certain so I'll have to accept it I guess."

I'm so relieved, I cross the room and give her a hug, "Thank you."

We smile as we pull apart, "but I definitely want veto on the girls you shag, seriously Emily, you can do a lot better than that skank Naomi."

Effy's eyes widen, "Oh so she knows about that?"

Katie snorts, "it was pretty obvious when I walked in on them screwing yesterday."

Effy frowns, "Oh Em, please don't tell me you fucked her again after what she did?"

"Again? So that wasn't the first time?" Katie stares at me.

I shake my head, "We've er... we made an arrangement."

Effy folds her arms, "What do you mean, an arrangement?"

I redden, "I asked her to well sort of, teach me, you know about sex and stuff, with a girl."

"She said no when I suggested it..." Effy trails off.

I stare, "You asked her to sleep with me?"

Effy looks at the floor, "Er, yeah, she said she didn't want another new born after that nightmare Jane."

At first I'm upset, I can't believe Naomi would say that, but then I think about it rationally and realise I don't care, "Yeah well Eff, when I asked her she was more than happy to oblige so I guess I'm just a bit more persuasive than you."

Effy grins, "My, my we have grown in confidence."

I shrug, "Turns out not only do I like being fucked by girls, I'm quite good at returning the favour. It does wonders for your self esteem."

Katie covers her ears, "I don't want bloody details, it was bad enough walking in on you."

Effy nudges her, "You might not want to know, but I do, got any vodka?"

Katie motions toward the wardrobe and we sit on the opposing beds while Effy grabs the bottle. I feel like I'm at an interview with the pair of them staring at me.

"So is that what you were up to the other afternoon?" Katie asks, funnily enough she seems much more interested than she'd have us believe.

I nod, "The first afternoon we just kissed and fooled around a bit. The next day we fucked, well Naomi screwed me in the afternoon but I fucked her in the evening. Yesterday you know all about."

"What did you mean Eff, when you said 'after what she did', what did she do?" Katie questions.

Effy purses her lips, "she screwed Em and then walked out without another word. I was fucking livid."

Katie bristles, "She's going to get a slap for that."

Effy waves her hand, "Already taken care of, I punched her in the face yesterday morning."

I gasp, "You did what? Naomi didn't say anything although I did think her nose was a bit swollen."

Effy shrugs, "Probably embarrassed. I told her to stay away from you. But you screwed that up by going round for a shag."

"I didn't intend to sleep with her. I went to give her a piece of my mind, I was angry." I explain.

Katie snorts, "but then what? One minute you're shouting at her and the next all your clothes fall off and you find yourself in her bed?"

I blush, "Kind of, I was in the middle of a rant and she kissed me, mainly to shut me up I think and one thing led to another."

"So do you like her?" Effy asks.

I shrug, "I guess so."

"And does she like you?" Katie asks.

"I think so, I mean I don't know for sure, she said she did but then she said we should just be friends." I say unsurely.

Katie pauses, "So have you, you know, done everything?"

"Not everything, no..." I start.

"Naomi doesn't let girls go down on her." Effy interjects.

I'm slightly annoyed, "Actually she said I could if I wanted to."

Effy looks shocked, "Really? Didn't you want to?"

How can I explain this? "Well, she kind of agreed to it under duress so I didn't think it was fair."

Katie's eyebrow raises, "under duress?"

I nod, "I might have been, sort of, erm, torturing her a bit at the time."

Effy bursts out laughing, "how?"

I decide to get it over and done with, "I was angry remember? So I told Naomi she couldn't come until I let her, and I didn't let her for quite a while."

They both look impressed, "Jesus Em, at the start of the week you were a virgin and now you're some sort of what? Sex mad dominatrix?"

"Well you might be a bit of a late starter but at least I don't have to worry the Fitch reputation will be tarnished, even if it is with a lezza." Katie says almost proudly.

I tut at the apparent turn around but smile all the same as we settle down and I face a fresh barrage of questions.

"Do you think she'll be ok?" Effy asks as we stare at Katie's dormant form on the bed as a loud snore comes from her mouth.

"I've put her in the recovery position just in case but she's hardly ever sick." I reply.

We make our way to the door and Effy stops to grab some more vodka from the wardrobe, "What? We can replace it and she drank most of the bottle anyway."

It's a fair point so I let it slide. We walk back to our room and Effy keeps glancing my way, I can't read her expression but it's a new one on me.

"What's up?" I ask curiously.

"Nothing, can't a cat look at a queen?" she replies.

I shove her, "Shut up idiot."

She smiles, "I'm serious, you're different, more confident. It's about time that's all, I'm just observing."

We lapse into silence until we reach the room, when we get inside we sit side by side on the bed and Effy takes a swig of vodka before handing me the bottle. I gulp down a mouthful and cough as it goes down the wrong way. Effy claps me on the back until I stop choking.

"Careful Em, we don't want you dying before the all new shiny you gets a chance to fuck your way through half of Bristol." she's smiling but I notice a slight edge to her voice.

I smile back and take another sip, "I doubt that will happen Eff."

She shrugs, "Why not? Like I said, beating them off with sticks."

I giggle, "Maybe you're right, Emily Fitch, shagger extraordinaire."

She looks serious, "Em, you know what you said? About me liking you being in love with me?"

I stare, "Yeah, I'm sorry, I was just lashing out."

She shakes her head, "No you were being honest and you were right. It is nice to know that there's someone out there who loves you, warts and all."

"Oh." I can't think of anything else to say.

Effy takes a deep breath, "But I'm sorry if it's held you back, you know stopped you admitting you were gay, it wasn't fair to expect you to keep waiting for me."

I smile, "Yeah, well I had a lot to do with that too. It's not like you've ever said you feel the same way and I could stop hiding behind you anytime I want."

"I suppose so, but I still feel bad. It's not a great thing for a friend to do." Effy says sadly.

I turn to her, "Eff, we both got something out of it, I had my security blanket and you got complete adoration."

"Should have enjoyed it while it lasted." Effy says wryly.

My brow furrows, "Effy I love you, I always will."

"I know, but it won't be the same when you get a girlfriend." Effy says quietly.

I snort, "who says I'll get a girlfriend?"

Effy tuts, "Oh come on Em, you might shag around at first but it's not really you is it? Soon enough some gorgeous girl will sweep you off your feet and you'll be all loved up."

If I didn't know better I'd think Effy was jealous, I stare strangely at her until she meets my eye.

She reads my thoughts, "You can't blame me for being a bit jealous, I've had you all to myself for so long."

"Honestly Effy, you're so contrary. I've been completely in love with you since we were 11 but you didn't want me and as soon as it looks like I might be moving on, what? You decide I'm great after all?" I say slightly exasperatedly.

"I've always thought you were great Em, but like I said you're different now. I know it's unfair but I can't help it." Effy says with a sigh.

I pause as I process her words, "What are you trying to say?"

She puts the vodka down and even before she leans towards me I know what's going to happen. Her lips gently brush mine before she pulls away trying to gauge my reaction.

"Oh." it feels different to the other kisses we've shared.

I lean over and press our lips together again only this time neither of us pulls away as quickly. When we do break apart we stare at each other. Effy reaches over and removes my t-shirt and I return the favour. She runs her hands up my arms and begins to stroke across my bikini top. I close my eyes as my back arches towards her and a soft moan comes from my mouth as my nipples harden against her palms.

Effy begins to kiss my neck and her hands release my tits from my bikini as she slowly kneads them causing gentle whimpers of pleasure to escape from us both. She pushes me back onto the bed until she is lying on top of me.

She kisses me again and this time I tentatively push my tongue into her mouth causing her to moan.

Effy pulls away and stares at me, "This is what you want isn't it?"

I bite my lip and nod, "It's what I've always wanted."

She smiles as she releases my bikini top fully before she gently takes my nipple into her mouth and swirls her tongue across it causing me to gasp. I close my eyes as she kisses down my body and I allow myself to get lost in her as finally all of my dreams are about to come true.

And here endeth the lesson.