Chapter 11: "Memories of Red"
I enter the bathroom. The bath is full of hot, steaming water. My towels, underwear, bra and nightgown are laid out where I expect they would be, and the scent of the bath oils that Hisui has put in relax my mind and my body a little even before I step into the tub, as I begin undressing.
Putting my worn clothes into a neat pile, I place my hands on my hips as I examine my nude body in the mirror. The bruise on my lower right side from the last major scuffle I had against a Dead Apostle, approximately three weeks ago, has faded nearly completely, leaving only some slightly unsightly yellowish-green discoloration as the trapped blood is broken down. Seo running into my chest earlier left a small but notable bruise that should be gone in a day or two.
...The hair under my armpits are growing in, and on my pubic region it is considerably thicker than I would like it to be. I bend over a little as I allow my hands to rub and feel my legs, and I can detect smaller hairs growing in as well.
Perhaps now is as good a time as any to groom myself, before I enter the bath and will no longer desire to do so. I collect my razor and small trimming scissors from the drawer built into the sink, collect the can of shaving cream from underneath them, put down the lid of the toilet seat, sit down on it, and carefully get to work.
Approximately twenty minutes later, it is done. I managed to avoid any major cuts this time. Before, Kohaku would wordlessly do this, but such an act is... sort of selfish, I realized. We are both grown women of nearly the same age, her being slightly older than me, and it is not something I should depend on her for, as someday, she might not be here and I still may be.
Besides... even though I tolerated it... it did not make it any less embarrassing. I am very much unused to anyone seeing me without either my usual clothing, or my school outfit on. Even though Kohaku would quite often do these things for me, over the last year or two, I began to feel more self-conscious about it. This only increased when Nii-san walked in on me one day as I was changing. Fortunately, I was still dressed in a bra and some panties, but I felt blood race to my cheeks and threaten to make them burst.
I look myself over in the mirror once more. My armpits, now smooth. My pubic region, neatly and carefully trimmed. My legs, smooth, even though I usually wear my dress and so this is not as much of a factor. Still, sometimes, I do not wear it, and it is impractical to wear it if I am, say, visiting an indoor swimming pool. A dress is naturally inappropriate to wear in the water; a swimsuit would then be needed. And I think few men would find even a lady as pretty as I am very attractive if her legs look like those of a man.
Satisfied with my grooming, I put my tools away, and walk towards the still-steaming bath, carefully stepping in.
"Ahhhhh..."
I cannot help but let out such a noise and a sigh of pleasure as I enter and sink my body down into the water. The aroma of the oils begins to fill my nostrils, and I can feel the remnants of small bath salts settled on the floor of the tub pressing lightly into my flesh as deep heat begins to pour into my body, soaking into the very core of my being and my existence.
"Mmmmmm..." This slight moan of pleasure escapes my throat.
I truly enjoy soaks such as this.
I do not get to enjoy them particularly often, sadly. The only reason I am able to take one now is thanks to the drugs Kohaku had given me. Otherwise, it would be more like my normal routine, where I would have a fairly quick shower before working on my papers. Though, even then, as it is the weekend, if I really wanted to soak, I would likely just wait until after I did my paperwork before partaking in it. My body odor would not become magically unbearable just because I did not have a shower at 7 PM and wait until 9 PM to take a soak, after all; the worst that would happen is, perhaps, sweaty armpits from constant movement of my arms back and forth. Besides, I am basically the one who would have to tolerate it, and well, most people are used to their own body odors. I am no exception.
I lean back carefully and close my eyes, sighing, allowing all of my tension and worries to melt away, even if it is just for this brief moment. For now, all that matters is the hot water, massaging my muscles.
As well as the thump I hear.
"...?"
It was definitely a thump. From approximately the second floor.
"Hisui? Was that you?"
...Silence.
Great. Now I do not even get to enjoy my soak?
With a resigned sigh, I wrap myself in a towel, and then exit the bathroom, looking around carefully as I hold the towel closed over my nude form. It should only be me and Hisui, but I would still be embarrassed if Hisui caught me suddenly by surprise and I reflexively dropped my towel.
By now, it is completely night. No trace of daylight remains. The mansion is dimmed, but not completely dark; Hisui is merely following protocol.
I walk over to her room, next to Kohaku's, on the first floor, and I knock on her door. "Hisui?"
...There is no response.
I turn the handle. The door opens; Hisui's room is empty, in terms of people inside of it. She is not in here, then.
...Perhaps my room, then? It makes sense that Hisui would be preparing my room as I am soaking, come to think of it. I laugh slightly to myself as I begin climbing the stairs towards my room, in the east wing of the second floor.
Sure enough, my door is slightly ajar, and the lights are on. I walk inside, and see Hisui standing at the window, looking out at the night sky, perhaps thinking herself about the events of the last year.
"Hisui, you do not need to dwell on this as Kohaku and I do." I say it with a sigh.
There is no reply. She just stands there, silently, looking out the window... perhaps blaming herself for being an unwilling pawn in Kohaku's plans.
But, that is not something she should feel remorseful or guilty for. After all, it was not really Hisui's fault. None of that was.
Kohaku endured what she had to endure because she did not want Hisui to go through what she knew would happen. Kohaku took to becoming a doll so that Hisui may remain a human. Of course, at the time this all occurred. I did not know any of this. I did not know why Otou-sama kept Kohaku's room next to his. I just thought the girl was shy and submissive for the most part. Being only their age, myself, my thoughts were on anything but that; they were more like "It's too bad Kohaku-chan can't play; maybe tomorrow!"
...But... for Kohaku, there would never be any playing, and she would be happy if tomorrow simply never came.
By the time I realized what was happening, about three years ago when I was 14, I knew enough to know the difference between sex and rape. But by this time, Hisui had become cold and withdrawn, and Kohaku smiled a false smile and laughed a false laugh. I stopped Otou-sama from doing it by threatening to run away from home... and, truth be told, had he not stopped... I think I would have. I would not have wanted to live with such a man; he would have ceased to be human if he kept on doing it. Such a childish, impulsive reaction to such a serious topic, but I did not want to see Kohaku be abused in that way any longer. Mercifully, it worked, and he agreed... although it meant that two years later, Otou-sama would die.
...Sometimes, I am not sure how I feel about that. There are things about Otou-sama I love, and I do still love him on some level, I think, it is just...
I sigh and shake my head. I should not be dwelling on this, and neither should Hisui.
I walk over, turning her towards me gently. "Hisui, please do not—"
THUMP. She falls to the floor. Like she had been propped up.
I look down at her. Her eyes stare lifelessly into mine. Her skin, paler than the whitest paper. And in her neck, two large fang marks. Blood fails to flow from them. Her face is slightly ashen.
There is... no hope for Hisui. She is gone.
"...!"
This... is not good. As I try to think of who our enemies would be, who would be so bold and dare to assault my home, a familiar voice breaks the silence as it laughs, sadly.
"Why, Akiha? Why did you have to kill me?"
I grit my teeth immediately on instinct. That voice... is one that should not exist anymore, because I killed it with my hair. I drained all of its heat. Every single molecule.
And sure enough, it steps out of the dark corner of the room.
Like a bad memory, the demon who masquerades as Tohno SHIKI appears before my eyes, which I immediately narrow.
"Why, Akiha? I'm your brother. We can get along, you know, you just have to listen to—"
I waste no time. I immediately unleash that part of myself that is now fully under my control. Within moments, I can feel my nerves firing, my muscles tightening. My hair growing. Dark black is replaced with brilliant Crimson Red Vermilion.
And I look at him. That is all it takes. But he just slashes the air with a knife he has, sending reverberatory shock through my system. I click my tongue slightly and tighten my grip on my towel with my spare hand, staring him down with enmity and hatred.
"...Now that wasn't nice! I was just going to come and join you in the bath, Akiha. Like we always did as kids. But she would've warned you, so I had to stop her. She would've ruined the surprise."
"Just shut up and die, monster!" I glare at him, my hatred no doubt making itself known at the expression on my face. Few things anger me so much as this... this... ABOMINATION!
He looks at me, sadly for a moment. "Hey. Akiha. It doesn't have to end this way, you know. Just take me back. Take me back as your Nii-s—"
NO! That name will never be attached to this person! NEVER!
I roundhouse at his jaw about as hard as I can, and the solid CRACK and cry of pain from SHIKI inform me that I have hit. He goes down on the floor, and laughs, still a little sadly, but also a little more insanely.
"Well then, Akiha... I have no choice. You'll still be mine, though, don't worry. After I rip that demon out of you, I'll put your real self back in!" Saliva and blood from his mouth mix as he screams his words, splattering all over the place.
I glare at him angrily, red hair flowing in the wind. "It will take a lot more than that to kill me if that's your intent, monster!"
With a simple grin, he says "I know."
What's he supposed to mean by that? He can't reach me fr—
PAIN.
Sudden, sharp pain. In my chest. In my breast.
My eyes widen reflexively at the sudden shock. Incredulously, I look down...
...And see that a sword has somehow gotten there.
...Of course. From... his blood. That... spattered... when...
...Akiha, you idiot... you... forgot that...
...This wound... is fatal... without... Hisui...
He laughs. "There! See? It's easy when you're overconfident, dear sister. But don't you worry. Even after you die, I'll be taking good care of you. Every. Last. Inch. Of. You. Inside. And. Out!"
Then, he spits at me. I am in too much pain and shock from being stabbed in the heart to dodge this. The bloody glob lands on my forehead. This... fills me with rage... or perhaps it is the burning sensation that is filling my body because of the fact that my heart has stopped pumping. Irregardless, I feel strength briefly return to my limbs. I must either act, and act now... or die like a helpless girl.
Tohno Akiha is dying. I know this. The wound through my heart is fatal, and pain surges through my body. I cough hard, choking up blood, and the brightest, most vibrant red I have ever seen in my life surges out of my nostrils and mouth, a red that would put my dress to shame. It is... pretty.
Regardless of what happens, this is Tohno Akiha's last stand. But I will not die without a fight. If I must die, then he will die too, forever. It will be the end of our cursed blood, and I will drag him to the same hell I am destined for. I will bring him there, personally, and we shall greet the devil together.
With a cry that surprises even myself, I throw off my towel, and lunge straight for him, exerting everything left in me into my hair, to roast him, to roast him alive...
But, it is no use. He simply grins, and plays his last card.
The last sensation I feel is of my brain being pierced, split, and cleaved. I feel blood and cerebrospinal fluid immediately gush from my head, nostrils, and mouth as my body stops responding. I make a strange gurgling noise. As I fall forward limply, everything begins to go black, and I faintly hear his voice.
"Now we are together... forever... Akiha..." It is the last images and sounds my split brain will process.
I am dead before my body settles on the floor.
With a sudden GASP, I bolt upright in the tub.
...A nightmare. Just a nightmare.
My brain recognizes this now, but my body fails to.
THUMP-thu-THUMP-thu-THUMP-thu-THUMP-thu-THUMP-thu-THUMP. The staccato rhythm of my surging heart. It feels like it is about to burst out of my chest, the only thing holding it in being my soul.
My stomach churns, threatening to vomit up the meal Kohaku had so deliciously prepared earlier. I feel it surge up. I taste the bile, the half-digested slurry. With a painful, forced swallow, and a little bit of willpower, I force it back down.
My breaths, coming in rapid, painful panting. Air refuses to stay in my lungs. I feel like I cannot get enough oxygen to think clearly.
My head is dizzy, faint. It feels like I had lost blood even though I have not. The world swims slightly. I have tunnel vision.
I lay back in the tub slightly, and begin to cry.
I cry, partially in relief, partially in bitterness. The relief part is simple enough. Tohno Akiha is still alive, after all. As is Hisui.
The bitterness part is because I was so blinded by rage, even in my nightmares, that I had forgot that his blood had that property. If this were real, then I would not even want to know what he would be doing to my body—
My stomach surges hard, and the bitter acidic tang of partially digested food flows onto the back of my tongue. My cheeks puff out, and I feel my neck strain as I attempt to keep vomit from overflowing into my mouth. I swallow hard in order to keep my dinner down. Calm yourself, Akiha! Breathe. Breathe.
Good.
Breathe.
Better.
Breathe.
...There.
I barely manage to keep my food down in my stomach. Had I been any weaker willed, I would have thrown up into the toilet by now, surely... or, more likely, onto the bathroom floor.
My stomach grumbles in bitterness at being forced to re-accept what it had tried to give away. Instinctively, my left hand rubs it, in some attempt to comfort it, as I catch my breath and wipe my tears with my right hand.
I cannot make that sort of mistake. A mistake like that is fatal. I allowed my rage to blind me. It may have been a mere nightmare, but to me, it is more of a wakeup call. A reminder that even with my abilities, if I am overconfident, or blind to the abilities of my opponent, that I can very easily die. Demon blood does not grant one the ability of resurrection... at least, as far as I know.
I have far too much to live for. I have to protect this city, my home. I have to protect people like Seo and Souka and Hanei from dangerous things that could end their lives very easily.
...I have to live for Nii-san. Even though if I died, I would give him a better life, I... do not wish to die. I want to live for him.
...For him? No. I want to live with him. Like we do now. Even though I do not like him going out at night, or some of the things he does such as sleeping in very late... I really just want him here, and ideally, happy. So even if I am not the one whom he sees as the one who can make him happy... as long as he is happy, then, I shall be happy as well.
Because... the reality is, Tohno Akiha lives for her Nii-san, Tohno Shiki. She exists because of him. Otherwise, nine years ago, she would have become a corpse, and who knows what would have become of our family, of our lineage...
A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. "Akiha-sama, are you alright?ǃ I heard some commotion..."
The reassuring voice of Hisui. I breathe a sigh of relief. Now I know she is okay, alive, and well. With this, I allow the last images of her deathly ashen face to leave my memory, ideally to return nevermore.
"...Yes. I am fine, Hisui. As you were." I try to keep my voice calm, for her sake, if not for my own.
"...Very well, Akiha-sama." I hear her presence quickly fade.
...Then again. Nightmares are nightmares because you are powerless, are they not? Even with my abilities, "he" had shoved me aside like I were a fly. When we fought for real a year ago, all he could do is run like a trapped fly, in my spider's web.
There was no doubt that when it came down to which demon was the superior one, Tohno Akiha was the victor. As to which one was more human... well, that was obvious nine years ago, when she lost one brother and gained another.
"He" does not exist anymore. I incinerated him completely. His spirit tried to possess me, but thanks to Nii-san and Kohaku, it failed. Now he is just suggestions... suggestions which I have the willpower to ignore.
And I will ignore them. He shall never win from beyond the grave, because I am stronger than he is. That is why I am alive and he is not. My mind was perhaps simply reminding me to not let my guard down, to keep my emotions in check.
Yes. That must be it. For when one gets overly emotional in a fight, common sense goes out the window, defenestrated like some drunkard at a bar. If common sense is gone, then one's mind will not be able to keep track of the flow of battle. If one does not keep track of the flow of battle, it is very possible for them to become overly aggressive or defensive... and if that occurs, it is entirely possible that they could commit a fatal mistake, as I had.
I know that I am not the most powerful person in Misaki... at least, in terms of abilities. Arcueid-san could, if she really wanted to, easily destroy me. All she would have to do is activate some of her most powerful abilities, and I would very likely die on the spot. From what Nii-san has said, the abilities Arcueid-san possesses are truly frightening things, able to slice whole legions of The Dead in twain just by looking at them.
Therefore, to compensate, I have committed myself to backing up my abilities with tactics. Rather than attempt to overpower my opponent, I attempt to out-think them. For while brute force can kill an opponent, so can a perfect strike — and while brute force takes a lot of energy to do, all it takes is a little bit of natural grace and elegance to finish off an opponent with a single, critical blow.
"...I get it now," I say to myself as I reopen my eyes, and settle my body back more fully in the tub. With my stomach settled, and my breathing and heart rate returning to normal, I resume my soak. I will not let such a nightmare destroy my enjoyment of this rare treat.
Nor will I allow it to destroy me.
...Those nightmares... they are happening more as of late.
...This is not good. I am sure I killed "him," but...
...It is not able to leave my mind so easily...
Next Week (8/22/10) - Chapter 12: "Badmoon Rising"