Title: When Curves Were Straight 11/12
Authors & Betas: Shadowfax27 & Abendstern1601
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Pairing: Eric/Ryan
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: We no own. You no sue us. Okay?
Spoilers: A bit of Season 3's 'Lost Son' but totally AU
Summary: The morning after Speed's last visit.
A/N: Once again, I apologize for the delay in updating this fic. It's almost over, can you believe it? Anyway, I asked Abendstern1601 to help me write the cuddling part a long time ago, and after numerous edits and cross-betas, this, finally, is the first finished product of our cooperative writing efforts. There's also a bit of a tie-in towards the end of this chapter with the fic's prequel, "Walking The Twisted Line." We hope you guys enjoy the fruits of our labor!
WARNING: This is (m/m) SLASH! If you're foolish enough to disregard this warning and go on reading, then you have only yourself to blame. So don't go flaming me b/c the pairing's not to your liking, and you got yourself offended. No one's forcing anyone to read this. And any flames I get, I will simply use to make up heat-up lube and condoms for the Hardy Boys. You've been warned!
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Chapter 11 – This Is How We Heal...
"Remember me, Ryan," Speed reminded him softly for the last time, his voice like the fading whisper of a dying friend.
He watched the former patrol officer attempt to fight with the ever-increasing spell of irresistible sleep to no avail, his eyelids drooping heavily, even as he tried to force it to stay open.
"Speed…" Ryan whispered his name like a breath of liquid salvation to his lips… ephemeral – fleeting like his namesake.
"Remember me and then say good-bye," he added hurriedly, his voice dancing like an echo through the graying darkness of Ryan's eyelids, trying to get in his last few words before sleep could steal away the younger man completely. "Promise me you'll say good-bye."
Ryan nodded heavily, uttering a sleepy "I promise…" before breathing one last comforted sigh and falling back into the deep, dreamless slumber he and Eric had fallen into a mere few hours ago.
And having heard Ryan's drowsy but resolute promise, the once-restless soul of a CSI slumped his tired shoulders and smiled, uttering a soft, final good-bye to his slumbering friends as he found himself suddenly enveloped and fading brilliantly into the soothing radiance of the hereafter.
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Hours later…
Ryan woke up to the morning sun tickling his nose.
Slowly, the last whispers of his dream faded away as awareness steadily pulled him back into the waking world. Unlike all those times before, however, this morning, he didn't feel the need to cling to his dream, to hold on to a friend long lost and gone.
Arms tightening around his waist brought back the night before, and a name came to his mind like a soothing caress to his soul.
Eric.
Lying there, those strong arms holding him against the warm, firm chest in his back, Ryan felt oddly at peace. It was curious how, after all this time, the handsome Latino and he had finally found 'together,' evolving from competitive, sometimes hostile co-workers to… lovers.
Trust Speed and his relentless scheming to turn his life upside down even from the grave. Ryan smiled at the fond memories his thoughts had sparked.
Realizing that it was the first time since Speed's death that he was able to think about his friend without hurting, he snuggled even deeper into Eric's embrace, a bittersweet blend of emotions filling his now restless mind.
Silently, he thanked his friend for this new chance that had suddenly opened up before him. Ryan still missed him, yes, but he knew that he couldn't keep mourning forever, couldn't keep holding on to the bitter grief and despair of having lost a dear friend. Speed wouldn't have wanted him to do that anyway. Plus, he couldn't let his life pass him by any longer, and having Eric at his side, he realized, would make it that much easier to let go.
While Ryan was still taking stock of the events of last night, completely unaware of being watched by the man behind him, Eric was already wide awake. He, too, had sorted through his emotions and had come to a not entirely surprising conclusion: waking up with Ryan in his arms, his nose buried in the mop of dark hair, was the most amazing feeling.
All that hurt, all that anger that Speed's death had left behind and that he had so stubbornly clung to for so long were no longer existent. Already fading over the past two years and becoming even more distant these last few weeks, it was now washed away by the passion and love he had shared the night before with the man in his arms… leaving no remains.
And for the first time in a long while, Eric felt happy.
Without regrets, without remorse, without doubts, just… happy.
Complete.
It was a good feeling.
Sensing Ryan stir in his embrace, Eric loosened his grip around the other man's waist a bit, allowing Ryan to turn around before pulling him close again. They stared at each other for a long moment before Eric finally broke the comfortable but heavy silence.
"How are you feeling?"
Ryan actually took the time to consider the question. Then, slowly, he broke into a smile like nothing Eric had ever seen on him before.
"I feel fine," he replied softly, almost surprised, and for once, Eric believed him. "Amazing, actually. Sore… but amazing."
His smile was contagious, and Eric found himself answering in kind before he even noticed. Leaning in, he whispered against soft lips, "So, no regrets?" before placing a small, quick kiss on them without even giving his friend time to answer.
Ryan chuckled and brought his hand up to caress the side of his lover's face.
"Maybe one…"
Frowning slightly, Eric asked, "Which is?"
Placing another chaste kiss of his own on the Cuban's lips to reassure him, Ryan pulled back a little to better see Eric's face. His smile changed from sunny to slightly ironic as he answered, "Being too goddamn stubborn for my own good."
Eric had to laugh at that.
Drawing the younger man close again and tucking Ryan's head under his chin, he stated self-deprecatingly, "I think that's a fault that holds true for both of us."
They lay in silence again, Ryan contently snuggling into his lover's warm and comforting body, while Eric rubbed his back in slow, soothing circles.
There was one question the younger CSI couldn't get out of his head, however. And so, after a few minutes, Ryan began, "Eric, did you…"
"…dream?" the Cuban cut in to his surprise, knowingly completing the sentence.
There was a wistful, fond tone to his voice, and when Ryan pulled back to look at him, Eric had the gleam of good memories in his eyes.
"Yes, I did," Eric replied, a small smile tugging at his lips. "He really is one of a kind, isn't he?"
"Yeah…" Ryan agreed quietly. "Uhm, Eric?"
"Mm-hmm?"
"Can I ask you something?" he began carefully.
"Sure, babe, ask away."
Deciding to go for it, as curiosity finally got the better of him, Ryan took a deep breath before asking, "What exactly did Speed say to you?"
Eric's smile grew into an amused one, and he couldn't help the soft laughter that fled his mouth when he heard Ryan's question.
"What?" Ryan asked, perplexed.
"Nothing," Eric replied, still laughing softly as he shook his head.
"Really?" Ryan countered, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. "Then why are you laughing?"
Settling down finally, Eric answered, "Because Speed was right."
"What do you mean?" Ryan asked, even more puzzled than before. "Speed was right about what?"
"You," came Eric's cryptic reply.
"O-kaaay…" Ryan muttered slowly, still not getting what Eric was saying. "I'm not sure I follow, Eric."
Sensing the younger man's confusion and growing frustration at being kept in the dark, Eric placated him by nuzzling his nose against his before planting a chaste kiss on his lips.
"Nice try, Eric," Ryan teased, amused despite himself. "What? You think that just because you kissed me that I'd shut up about it? You know I can't do that, right?"
"I know," Eric conceded, smiling. "But I had to try."
"Why?" Ryan asked again. "What did Speed tell you?"
Sighing in resignation, Eric replied, "You really want to know?"
He watched as the younger man disentangled himself slightly from his embrace, propping an elbow on top of the pillow, before leaning the side of his head against his palm. The adorable eagerness with which Ryan had shifted to that pose caused the smile on Eric's face to split into an amused grin.
"Tell me," Ryan prodded attentively, and it took all of Eric's self-control not to jump Ryan once more.
"Alright…" Eric began, still grinning like the Cheshire cat. "I laughed because Speed just knew you were going to ask me what we'd talked about, and well… he was right."
"What can I say?" Ryan teased. "I can't help it."
"Uh-huh…" Eric teased back. "Sure you can't."
Not one to be derailed by banter, however, Ryan chuckled but kept pressing, "So, what else did he say?"
"Well, he told me that if you ask, that I should tell you to quit worrying your head over it and to trust him to take care of everything," Eric answered as concisely as he could.
Having heard the Cuban's reply, Ryan fell silent as he tuned the spoken words over in his head, his mind reflecting back on Speed's promise. It was obvious to him that Speed didn't want him to worry anymore and that whatever he had talked about with Eric, well… that needed to remain strictly between the two friends.
But just in case there was more, Ryan prompted, "Was there anything else, then?"
Shaking his head with a smile, Eric reassured him, "No… That was pretty much it," he answered, pausing briefly before deciding to tell Ryan the rest. "Although… he did threaten to come back and hunt me down with a pitchfork if I didn't keep my promise," he revealed finally, giving Ryan a mischievous wink.
"And what promise would that be?" Ryan dared to ask, amused now as his voice dropped to a seductive tone.
A wicked smile twisted on Eric's lips, and he took the time to gaze and marvel at his lover's beautiful hazel green eyes before responding in a low, husky voice.
"That's for me to fulfill… and for you to simply enjoy, mi amor."
Grinning at the Cuban's answer and the adorably lopsided smirk on his face, Ryan laughed softly before leaning down to indulge Eric with a soft yet searing press of lips on lips, finding himself now slightly on top of the older man, kissing him fervently into the plush pillows of his bed.
When they finally separated to catch their breaths, it was Ryan's turn to nuzzle Eric's nose, dropping a tender kiss on his forehead, before lying back down again. They lapsed into a short silence once more, each listening to the steady breathing of the man in front of him, each watching the rhythmic rise and fall of the other man's chest.
It was a soothing quiet filled with memories, realizations, and new beginnings.
It was nice…
Comforting.
But it didn't last too long.
This time, Eric's amused chuckles put an end to it.
"What's so funny?" the younger man asked curiously, turning confused eyes on his friend.
"Us," the Cuban replied, still chuckling. At Ryan's questioning look, he elaborated, "I was just thinking… Do you know what Speed would say if he could see us now?"
Snorting in amusement, Ryan dryly answered, "He'd say we were idiots for not listening to him any sooner."
"Exactly."
Snuggling into Eric's embrace again, Ryan turned serious.
"I still miss him, you know?" he told his lover in a quiet voice.
The other man tightened his embrace as the last remnant of a doleful sigh fled from him, finally releasing him of the weight that had been burdening his chest for so long, aching to be let go…but not forgotten. He knew the feeling only too well.
"You'll always miss him, Ryan. I will too," came Eric's emphatic reply. "But it'll get easier."
"How do you know that?" he asked, still with that same quiet voice, as if needing further reassurance.
The Cuban sighed thoughtfully, dropping a lingering kiss on top of Ryan's temple before answering, "Because we'll go through this together…" he trailed off, as if figuring out how to frame the latter half of his response.
"We?" Ryan cut in, shifting to regard the older man curiously.
Looking down into those magnificent hazel greens that seemed to sparkle with renewed vivacity, hope, Eric nodded slowly, a perceptive smile teasing on his full lips.
"I'm here with you now, Ryan. We'll always miss Speed, yes. We'll grieve and we'll mourn, but we'll also move on… and we'll do it together," he reassured confidently. "You and me…"
"…together," Ryan finished.
"Together," Eric confirmed readily as he hugged the smaller man to himself again, pressing their still-warm bodies fully, tangling their legs once more under the silky sheets, as he ran a gentle hand along the handsome and straight curves of his lover. "I'm not going anywhere, Ryan… Not without you," he added.
He nuzzled Ryan's ears with his nose to reassure him, hearing the younger man's breath quicken as he dropped light kisses along his jaw line and on his cheek before continuing.
"I won't ever let you walk that twisted line alone again," he breathed with confident certainty into Ryan's ear, remembering the irony of the younger man's secret and silent struggles when he had first confronted him in his home several weeks ago. "I promise."
Sighing contentedly into the Cuban's neck, Ryan closed his eyes heavily and for the first time since Speed's untimely death, allowed himself to be comforted like never before, willingly choosing to trust Eric to keep his promise, and casting off any reservations he'd had about the older man since he'd fortuitously discovered his secret.
They lay there for what seemed like only a brief eternity, each reveling in the feel of the other's body, each taking pleasure in the sensual and straight curves of his lover, each keenly aware of the other's breathing, of the other's rhythmic heartbeat.
As if sensing the vanishing remains of one last lingering thought, Eric now asked, "Penny for your thoughts, babe?"
Ryan smiled lazily, amazed at how quickly he and Eric had already become so in-tune with each other in the short amount of time they've spent 'together.' He could no longer deny the fact that he really liked this brand new feeling of being in a relationship, of belonging to someone, specifically to Eric, of being marvelously close – beautifully intimate.
"Yeah…" he replied, sighing.
Eric listened in silence, waiting to see if the younger man would elaborate on his short response. But when no answer came, he pulled back slightly, his fawn-like gaze catching Ryan's fascinated ones.
And he smiled a lopsided, heart-melting smile…
"Wanna tell me what it is? Or should I offer another penny?" he asked jokingly, smirking this time in an effort to keep the mood light.
Ryan chuckled heartily, "No, no… No need for more pennies."
"You sure about that?" Eric continued in jest. "'Cause I could dig around in my pockets; see if I got anymore," he smirked, feigning to look around for his pants, which he knew were lying in a discarded pool somewhere on the floor, even as he didn't ease his hold on the younger man.
This time, Ryan laughed, "I'm sure."
Settling his head back onto the pillow, Eric pressed, "So, what is it, then?" coaxing him with a small kiss to the temple before running blithe fingers to smooth away a stray hair from his brow. "What's that gorgeous head of yours thinking about?"
He watched as a glimmer of remembrance twinkled across Ryan's telling eyes, watched as that fading wisp of a memory flitted across the younger man's face, boyish and blushing adorably. And suddenly, Eric, himself, knew…
"There's one last thing I need to do…"
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TBC
These bad, bad Penguins need a good spanking for leaving you with another cliffhanger, don't you think?
So, be my guest… Leave your feedback, and spank a Plot Penguin!
A/N: Aargh!! I had a feeling this was going to happen…again! Damn the Penguins and their complicated plots! This was supposed to be the last chapter, but what was supposed to be a short Epilogue at the end of this chapter has… surprise, surprise! Now evolved into its own chapter once again. Meh… It's the Penguins' damn fault, I tell you! --grumbles-- So there you have it… there will actually be one more chapter left to close out this fic – an Epilogue, if you will. And I promise that it's the last chapter this time. --chases evil Penguins with a pitchfork while muttering--