ObsessivePerfectionist: I haven't done big reserach on the Aztecs, only read a few books, and the idea of Second Tenochtitlan is nothing to be taken seriously. This is just a fanfic, after all :) I find it funny that you dislike Patrick while you like Quench (I feel just the opposite ;)
trohS-ylloH: I don't think I'm writing like Colfer, I'm writing like AgiVega ;) It may be a mere coincidence if his and my style is a bit similar. When I wrote HP fics, people accused me of being Rowling in disguise, which I found quite ridiculous, because I don't think my stlye is a bit like JKR's. I'm never imitating an original author's style, so it's weird that most people think my style is like Rowling's or Colfer's...
LittleGreenPerson: is it possible to write a book in just one month? I can't imagine myself writing one so quickly, even if I had all the time in the world (which, unfortunately, I don't).
Mistri, Tonks' Admirer: yup, for a few nights I slept on the floor, on a mattress. Most of the time Artemis IS calm and collected. Nope, Opal isn't up to anything in connection with the diseases. Yeah, I DID like to wear a new dress every day in Greece ;) I know, I know Holly's way older than Arty, but hey, in humans years she'd be only around 25!
cocoaducks: why shouldn't Holly refer to Patrick as her son?
TinkerBell394587: my fav line in the LEPRecon story was the final one: 'You're going to wash out in six months,' continued Root, 'and probably cost me a fortune.' He was wrong about the first, but right about the second. LOL :D
C-chan1: yup, ffnet stole my percentage sign - I just checked, it was there in the original Word file. Atlantean Brandy comes back later. No more said now.
Indigo Ziona: and the emotions will only get more confused soon ;) Yup, I've read AF files and loved it, especially the story about Holly becoming a captain :)
Marfbag: I invented Second Tenochtitlan, but the original Tenochtitlan exists/existed - it's today's Mexico City.
BeatlesLover: clever thinking about Holly ;) Half-blond prince? Does that mean you've seen that particular art of mine?;)
animezebra: the first A/H kiss will be in chapter 16, I think. So you've got to wait a bit for that... No, Arty won't be busting down the door - he's more subtle than that. Yes, you'll see quite a bit of Opal in the future.
kirby freak: if you intend to continue reading, then you'll have to get used to the thought of the - cough - PG-13 parts, because there will be loads of them.
Artymaster: Opal isn't a bit jealous of A/H, because she doesn't fancy Arty.
sophianwin: I'm sorry to say that, but Patrick doesn't have friends. Well, his only friends are Foaly and Root, but I expect that neither of them is a virgin anymore, so they couldn't be used as the sacrifice.
Cyberspace: I know you were just kidding, but still: this fic is as PG-13 as possible. Sometimes it may be a strong PG-13, but it will never reach R. The youngsters have nothing to fear, I'm not corrupting them (if they're at least 13...;) I'm glad you like the fic despite your dislike of A/H.
Myfanwy 214: well... let's say that Mulch/Opal is a possible pairing ;)
Dr.F.RoyDeanSchlippe: yes, I have already thought of that ;) Glad you like the fic! (btw, I like your username ;)
Ayuka-chan: I'm sorry too that there aren't A/H smut fics, e.g. there could be some on adultfanficnet... but there's only one Arty/Juliet and two or three slash fics (and I don't read slash). I wish someone wrote a proper A/H smut fic (not here on ffnet, obviously, but on adultffnet)
WackedOutPet13: I'm glad you think it isn't syrupy. I'll try to keep it non-syrupy all along. I hope I'm going to succeed.
TrunkZy: I completely understand you not liking a name tha a stupid person you know has. I for one had a classmate in the primary school called Anna. She was a real (insert bad things here), and when my dad and his wife decided to adopt a baby girl and name her Anna, I was pretty much annoyed, because I associated that name with the idiot-Anna. No, I haven't seen a commercial with an Aztec pyramid in it.
Also thanks to: BrownPryde, Hexe605, EvilExpressions, Yuffie Paine, Keiko, El Shabang, utena, septempopuli, neutralgIrl, The OddBird, EvilSpirit, Yasmin, kissimycrazy, luckyducky7too, Holly Rox, Joe, leonsalanna, glorwen, aprilechidna, Cherri J. Ookami, Epsilon2Delta, Lady Emerald Black, harriettapotter, Dreaming One
Fowl of the jungle
Holly took a deep breath of the vaporous tropical air. They had left chute A-2897 mere minutes ago and were now getting acquainted with the surroundings. Holly thought it was a wonder that chute A-2897 was still working, given that it hadn't been used for over 300 years. The exit of the chute itself was situated on the edge of a clearing, next to a rock overgrown with jungle flowers. From there they had a wonderful view of a majestic pyramid.
"Beautiful," Juliet breathed, even though she wasn't the type to be fascinated by old buildings.
"I take this isn't the pyramid we are looking for," commented Holly.
"Obviously it isn't," replied Artemis. "This is the great pyramid in Chichén Itza, the so-called El Castillo. There are 91 steps on each of the four sides, thus 365, symbolising the year. Chichén Itza is the meeting point of the Mayan and Toltec cultures. This is where you can find the biggest ancient stadium for ball games. They were a bit rude, these ball games… you know, the losing team got sacrificed."
"Have you swallowed a computer?" Holly frowned, just to conceal the sudden anxiety that came over her at the mention of 'sacrifice'.
"Aren't we looking for an Aztec pyramid?" enquired Juliet.
"Of course we are." Artemis rolled his eyes. "But since this chute was the closest to our supposed destination, we had to come here and go on from here on foot."
"I know that, but what are Mayan and Tol… Tol whatever pyramids doing here, where we are looking for an Aztec one?"
Artemis suppressed a sigh. Juliet was a wonderful fighter but definitely not an academic person. There were occasions when Artemis couldn't help but think of her as 'blonde'.
"There were several folks living on the area of today's Mexico. Mexico City itself was built on the ruins of the one-time Tenochtitlan. There were Toltecs, Olmecs, Mayans and Aztecs here, and all the other folks hated the Aztecs, because they had this nasty habit of sacrificing the enemy they subdued in battles."
"I see." Juliet frowned. "But isn't Tenochtitlan, I mean, Mexico City, quite far away from here? Why didn't the Aztecs build this Second Tenochtitlan somewhere near the original one? And if they built it here, not far from Chichén Itza, why didn't they name it second Chichén Itza?"
"Because Chichén Itza was Mayan and Tenochtitlan was Aztec," young Fowl replied, getting slightly tired of the questions. "I believe they wanted to make sure that the conquistadors didn't find their hidden pyramid, that's why they built it as far from their capital as possible. That's why they built it on Mayan territory."
"And didn't the Mayans forbid the Aztecs to build a pyramid on their territory?" wondered Juliet.
"I take the Aztecs didn't ask for the Mayans' permission." Artemis shrugged. "Perhaps the Mayans never found out about Second Tenochtitlan."
"Oh, I see. Tenochtitlan, Chichén Itza… what weird names, one can't NOT confuse them…" said Juliet contemplatively.
"There are other names like Tikal, Uxmal, Yaxchlán, Palenque, Mitla and Teotihuacan. Just so that you can confuse them even more," grunted Artemis, wiping his beading forehead. He had been to extreme places before, almost froze to death in the Arctic, but never in his life had he sweated. It was an unsettling experience for him.
"And what about Machu Picchu?" asked Juliet.
"That's in South-America, in Peru."
"Oh."
"Would you please stop playing the living lexicon?" Holly snapped. "I'm trying to get in contact with Root."
Artemis shrugged and Juliet stifled a chuckle.
"Holly?" a crackling voice sounded from the fairy's wrist-microphone. "Do you copy?"
"Yes, Julius. Everything's fine, we've arrived at Chichén Itza, chute A-2897 is completely safe. Are you ready for departure? Everything okay with the convicts?"
"Everything's fine. We are setting off in a few hours," came the reply.
"And what's that noise?" asked Holly with a frown.
"Just the convicts quarrelling," answered Root in a tired voice. "Koboi is shouting at Diggums because Diggums grabbed her… ehm, bottom. But Diggums claims it was merely an accident…" Holly could almost see him rolling his eyes and allowed herself a smile.
"Well, don't let them get out of hand," she advised her onetime superior. "And tell them to keep their hormones at bay."
"I will. And Commander?"
"Yes?"
"Take care."
"You too." Holly shut off the microphone and turned to face her two companions. "Well then, ready for a long walk?"
Young Fowl nodded and with a bit of a struggle, he picked up one of the less heavy rucksacks. He, after all, was here to act as the mastermind, not to break a sweat. Juliet, on the other hand, easily lifted a nearly elephant-sized bag onto her back.
After a few hours of walking and Artemis constantly getting tangled up in various bushes and vines; the spectacular pyramid of Chichén Itza dropped out of sight. The little group got swallowed up by the jungle.
"Oh, what a pretty tree!" Juliet exclaimed, pointing at one of the nearby trees.
"Musa paradisiaca," said Artemis, slapping a mosquito on his hand.
"What?" the Butler girl blinked.
"Banana palm," sighed Artemis, slapping the umpteenth mosquito. "What the heck do they think I am? Their buffet?"
Holly couldn't help but grin, so she looked away. It was better not to aggravate an already mad Fowl.
"And you? How come you two don't get eaten up by these little monsters?" demanded Artemis, madly flailing – to no avail, because the mosquitoes still regarded him as their lunch.
"You know, we fairies have some natural protection against them," explained Holly. "Our skin emits some sort of a fragrance that is unnoticeable for humans and other fairies, but keeps these insects away."
"And you?" Artemis turned to Juliet who was humming to herself.
"I applied some mosquito-repellent, of course, while we were sitting in the shuttle…"
"And you never told me?!?" breathed Artemis, his face turning red (with anger or with mosquito-bites, the girls couldn't tell).
"Oops…"
"I can't believe it! You're my bodyguard, for heaven's sake! It's your responsibility to keep me safe and sound!"
"I'm sorry, Artemis." Juliet smiled apologetically and dropped her huge bag on the ground. "I'll find it for you. Though it might take some minutes… you know, whenever you're looking for something, you will find it at the very bottom of your bag…"
"Right. You go find it. I'll go for a… walk till then," replied Artemis morosely.
"I can't allow that," Juliet said. "You can't walk around in a dangerous forest unprotected!"
"As if you cared…" grunted the young man.
"I'll go with him," Holly offered.
"You don't need to come."
"But I do. Juliet can take care of herself, but you can't take care of yours-"
"The call of nature, okay?" Artemis hissed through clenched teeth.
"Oh. Then just… go," said the fairy absentmindedly. Artemis was so cute when embarrassed! Or was his face red because of the mosquitoes? "But… don't wander far away!" she added hastily.
"Don't worry, I won't," said Artemis and disappeared into the shrubbery.
Holly looked after him for a while then turned to Juliet, because she was feeling the young woman's gaze. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing." Juliet shook her head. "Just a random thought."
Holly gave her a questioning look.
"All riiiiight." Juliet flopped down on her bag, the flask of mosquito-repellent already in her hand. "I just had the impression that you'd rather have gone after him and… watched him?"
"Where do you get such… absurd ideas? And not only you, but… Koboi too."
"Oh," Juliet grinned knowingly. "She told you and Artemis to get a room."
"I seriously don't understand her." Holly sighed dramatically.
"Are you sure you don't?" The Butler girl raised a blonde eyebrow at her.
"Of course I am! I mean… there's nothing… possibly nothing between… That's completely insane! Fowl is arrogant, calculating, heartless… no wonder no woman ever wanted him! I mean…" Holly suddenly remembered her discussion with Artemis, in which he had told her about Juliet being more than just a bodyguard to him. Strangely, the memory of that discussion made her feel something like… pain? She banished the feeling from her heart and the memory from her mind. "…why would I, then?" she finished the sentence.
"I cannot know that, can I?" Juliet sent Holly an innocent stare. "But you know, it's not true that no women ever wanted him…"
"Huh?" Holly looked politely befuddled, but she had an idea whom the other woman could be referring to: herself. She couldn't help, but the mere mental image of Artemis and Juliet together made her stomach turn. Not that she didn't like Juliet; she regarded the Butler girl as a friend and wished her all the happiness in the world… just not with Artemis.
Seeing Holly's expression and mistaking it for real confusion, Juliet grinned in a satisfied way. "I knew you'd be interested! It was quite funny actually. It happened so that-"
However, she couldn't finish the story, for the young man stumbled out of a bush, a look of suffering on his face.
"Something wrong, Artemis?" his bodyguard jumped up from the bag.
"Bet he just pulled up the zipper too quick," Holly whispered, but not quiet enough.
"No problems with the zipper, Commander," Artemis retorted. "Just those bloody mosquitoes…" He winced again.
"You don't mean they bit you… there?"
"Juliet, pass that flask, will you?" growled Artemis, ignoring Holly's comment.
Patrick groaned and rolled from his side onto his back. His eyes still closed, he listened. There was a shriek, but not a human one, neither that of a fairy. It rather sounded like a bird – a rather loud bird at that. There were no such birds in Haven, that's for sure. He didn't remember Quench having any sorts of pets either. He'd only once heard such a screech, in a Mud Man documentary on Discovery Channel. It was convenient that Foaly had made sure they'd get several Mud Man channels in Haven.
The boy massaged his temples but still did not open his eyes.
There was another screech.
No, it was definitely no fairy or human, he decided. It must have been some tropical bird.
Tropical bird?
Patrick opened his eyes and looked around. He was in some sort of a tent. How on earth had he got here?
He propped his head into his palms, trying to remember. He had provided Quench with the substance that the fairy had named 'MMM' (Patrick grimaced at the thought of such a ridiculous name - H3OCS4N2Ca had been way better and much more scientific). Quench had then turned into a Mud Man replica and so did both of his bodyguards. Then they had offered Patrick some nourishment and he had again refused, even though he hadn't eaten anything for several days.
That must be it, he thought. He must have passed out again, and it was more than likely that he had been given a new infusion of Obedience Serum.
But why had Quench brought him here? And where exactly was here?
He stood up from the cot, almost tripped over a cap lying on the floor, and walked to the entrance of the tent. He pulled back the heavy material hanging over the 'door' and gasped. No wonder he'd heard a tropical bird! Wherever he looked, he saw lush green shrubbery and trees towering over the bushes, vines hanging off their branches. He even spotted the 'culprit' that had awoken him from his dream: it was a red-yellow-blue plumed parrot swinging on a garland of orchids.
"Up, are you?" called a gruff voice from the left.
Patrick turned in the direction of the voice and noticed one of Quench's
Mud Man-turned guards pointing a Neutrino at him.
"Yeah, I'm up and about. What's this place?"
"The jungle," came the curt reply.
"I assumed that much myself," said the boy in his know-it-all voice. "But which jungle? You know, there are jungles everywhere near the Equator. In Central-Africa, Central- and South-America, India, Indonesia, and even some parts of Australia."
The human-looking fairy frowned in a confused way, as though he hadn't heard of half of these places.
"So, which one is this jungle?" pressed Patrick.
"How should I know?" grunted the guard. "Get back into the tent this instant! And stop poking out! And put your cap back on!"
"Cap?" the boy raised an eyebrow at his 'jailer', fighting with the urge to obey this instant and return into the tent.
"The one we'd put on your head to cover your ears, that one!"
"Oh. Must have fallen off while I was sleeping." Patrick shrugged, remembering the cap he'd trodden on. "Why should I keep my ears hidden?"
"Why, why, because Miss Frazetti and her folks mustn't know what you are!" grunted the guard.
"Miss Who?"
"None of your business! Get back into the tent and put your cap on!"
Patrick sighed, feeling that resistance was futile. The Obedience Serum was flowing through his veins, forcing him to do as said. "All right. But tell your master I want to see him. Right now. He has to explain what's going on here!"
"Mister Quench doesn't have to explain anything to you, you insolent little brat!" snapped the guard.
"Just tell him. He will come," replied the boy calmly.
"Right. But don't escape!"
"How could I?" Patrick rolled his eyes and disappeared into the tent.
In the tent he sank onto the cot, his mind in turmoil. What the heck were they doing in a jungle? And who was this Miss Frazetti? What did that idiot Quench have in mind? And why didn't he release him after he'd finished the required serum? What else could that perverted fairy need him for?
He didn't need to wait long, for Quench appeared in five minutes, looking affronted, even though barely anything was visible of his face. Patrick could practically sense the anger emanating from Quench's body.
"What do you think of yourself?" spat the fairy upon entering. "Demanding to see me? Who do you think you are?"
"Someone important," said the boy coolly.
Quench's eyes narrowed. "Important? You? Don't make me laugh."
Patrick pursed his lips, making a comically contemplative face. "If I weren't important, you would have released me or just left me at your headquarters. But no, you brought me along here… really, where exactly are we? Your guard refused to tell me, but I suspect he was just too dumb to be able to tell the difference between Africa and America."
"Well…" Quench seemed to hesitate for a minute. "It wouldn't hurt to tell you where we are, would it? This is the Yucatan peninsula, my boy."
"Southern Mexico, then."
Quench nodded.
"And what are we doing here? Who is this Frazetti woman your guard mentioned? The human contact you acquired looking like a Mud Man? I hope you aren't still on about that vendetta against the People…"
"Actually, I am." Quartz grinned.
"Oh. And may I ask what this jungle has to do with your pathetic attempt at taking revenge?"
"A lot, my boy. More than you'd think. But you aren't to know it – yet. You will know it, when the time comes."
There was something in Quench's smile that sent a shiver down Patrick's spine. He had a very bad feeling about this.
"In the future refrain from sending my guards to me demanding that I visit you. I have more important things to care for than chatting with a snot-nosed kid like you. And put that cap on! Wear it day and night! My Mud Friends must not see your ears. This way if they spot you, they will think you're just a human boy, if a bit of a shrimp."
All Patrick could do was nod.
Quench had almost left the tent when the boy shouted after him: "And when are you going to release me?"
"Soon, my boy. Soon. If everything goes well, then in less than a week, at full moon. If not, then next full moon." With that he exited the tent, leaving the confounded boy alone. Alone, wondering what this little jungle-trip and the whole revenge-on-the-People had to do with each other. Patrick always used to like jigsaw puzzles, but this time he felt that too many pieces were missing to make a complete picture…
Artemis dropped himself on his sleeping bag with an expression of suffering on his face. Actually this expression hadn't left his face since he'd visited the 'men's room' behind a bush.
"Does it hurt very much?" asked Juliet compassionately.
"Hurts and itches at the same time," muttered the young man quietly, so that only Juliet next to him would hear it, and Holly - who happened to be planting little brown gadgets all around their camp - wouldn't. However, fairies have far better hearing than humans…
"Poor Artemis, it must be bad," Holly remarked with a small smile after she had placed the last gadget on the ground. "You know, I have to spare my magic, that's why I don't think I should try and heal you. Not that I wouldn't want to, but-" Suddenly she realised that she'd left herself open for Artemis to retort; and Artemis, being as clever and teasing as he was, immediately reacted:
"Bet you'd love to heal it… to put your hand on it…"
"Why you perverted…" Holly hissed, blood rushing into her face.
Juliet seemed to be amused for some reason.
"I'd never put my hand there!" snapped the fairy at the grinning 'Mud Boy'. "Not even if it were close to falling off and only my magic could keep it in place!"
"Ow. Don't give me such horrible mental images," groaned Artemis. "And if you're not giving me a healing… massage, then at least give me an Aspirin. Or anything that will lessen the pain and would help me fall asleep."
"I could mesmerise you to believe that you aren't feeling any pain," Holly offered.
"No thanks, I don't feel like being in your power." Artemis shook his head.
"Why, don't you trust me?" The fairy asked, challengingly raising her eyebrows.
"Should I?" Artemis leaned a bit closer to look into her eyes.
"Hem-hem…" Juliet cleared her throat, reminding the other two of her presence. "Holly, I wanted to ask what these little things were that you put on the ground."
"Oh, those. They are Foaly's invention, of course… well, what isn't Foaly's invention?" the commander replied. "If they are put around a camp or a smaller house, and get activated, then they function as a shield - an invisible shield that makes everyone within the shield unnoticeable for unwanted people and animals. It is programmed to recognise the three of us and will always let us leave the shield's protection area and return there, but it won't allow anyone else to spot us."
"So no one but the three of us can see our camp?" wondered Juliet.
"Exactly." Holly nodded. "To the wild animals this small circle is a blind spot. For them there is absolutely nothing here, it doesn't even exist to the outside world."
"Brilliant," whistled the Butler girl admiringly, then slapped her hands over her mouth. "But wild animals can still smell or hear us, can't they?"
"No. The shield is smell- and sound proof. We can hear everything that is happening outside but the outsiders can't see or hear us while we are in here. The shield also keeps the heat inside, so animals sensitive to heat-emission can't notice us either."
"And what if an animal or anyone happens to wander through the 'empty spot' where our camp is?" Juliet frowned. "If an animal sees it as a mere clearing with nice, soft grass, then it might get the idea to come and lie down here a bit."
"That's the best about it," replied Holly. "The trick is that people as well as animals could walk into this apparently empty spot without sensing the shield or running into any of us."
"The camp exists in another dimension, then," Artemis concluded.
Holly nodded while Juliet's eyes widened. She, as Madam Ko's acolyte had gone through some mechanics training besides the physical and mental ones, but phrases like 'existing in different dimensions' sounded a bit too much for her.
"This little shield reminds me of my own invention. The tent that Butler and I used for catching you," Artemis told Holly in a tired yet slightly nostalgic tone. One would have sworn that there was a 'those good old times' sort of tone clinging to the young man's voice. But it lasted only for a few seconds, and soon the arrogant Artemis was back. "Now, Juliet, be so kind and get me some painkiller if you've brought any, then stop talking you two, and let me sleep."
"Oh. You mean we're bothering you?" snapped Holly, her arms akimbo.
"Actually, you are," yawned the young man and slipped into his sleeping bag. "Especially you, dear Commander."
Holly was on the verge of shouting something rude at him, but rather
turned on her heels and trotted out of the shield's circle.
Juliet ran after her. With her long legs she soon managed to catch
up with the tiny fairy and grabbed her arm to stop her.
"What?" snapped Holly, turning to face the other girl.
"I could ask you the same," Juliet pointed out.
"It's… it's just… Fowl! That foul, arrogant idiot! I'm fed up with him! That man doesn't have a heart! He can't understand what I'm feeling now; all he does is give me his nonchalant little replies, not having the slightest idea that it might hurt me! Not having the slightest idea that he's getting on my nerves! He doesn't respect my pain, he doesn't give a damn about Patrick, I bet… I bet he came along for this trip for another reason, there's no way Artemis Fowl wouldn't be seeking to make advantage of the direst situations! He doesn't give a damn about our son! It wasn't him staying up when Patrick was ill… it wasn't him changing his nappies for two whole years, it wasn't him… wasn't… how could he understand, then?"
Even Juliet had been taken aback by Holly's tirade; it was so forceful, so passionate that she felt swept away by it. However, at the end the words pouring out of Holly's mouth started to get weaker and weaker, and now she was gazing at the ground, shaking. She seemed close to tears but blinked them back.
"Ehm… may I say something?" said the Butler girl.
Holly shrugged.
"Well, you said it wasn't him who'd tended Patrick so he couldn't feel what you're feeling. Forgive me for saying this; but it was your fault that he never knew about the boy. You and your fairy friends kept it a secret from him, after all. It is your fault if Artemis doesn't feel a thing for his son. You never even gave him a chance to get to know the boy. And… what gives you the idea that he doesn't feel anything at all? Artemis is quite good at hiding his emotions. Actually, I think all this show that he's putting up is part of hiding his feelings."
Holly looked up to meet Juliet's eyes with a confused expression.
"You know, Artemis isn't really a bad boy," Juliet carried on. "He just had a difficult childhood with no one to turn to… I think he was never really a child. One should learn to express emotions as a kid, but since he lacked childhood, he never learnt it. The only thing he learned is to act indifferently."
"And what about the teasing, the snide remarks?" Holly frowned.
"I must admit those are quite new. I never before saw them coming from Artemis. I believe it's a result of his missing childhood."
"Yeah, he mentioned something like that last night," the fairy muttered. "He said he had never had a girl around to tease, except you, but he knew well enough not to tease you."
"Perhaps because he never liked me that way," replied Juliet knowingly.
"Never liked you?" Holly blinked. "Do you mean he keeps teasing me because he likes me?"
"Yeah."
"That's rubbish."
"Isn't. Don't tell me that none of your male schoolmates ever teased you because they liked you!"
"I… dunno. Perhaps they did, but Art… Fowl is different. He's no schoolboy!"
"But he's behaving like one. And that's because he likes you," said Juliet matter-of-factly. "It's a new feeling for him and he doesn't know how to react, so he behaves like an annoying teenager."
"Oh, come on, how could he like me?" Holly waved irritably. "And what did you mean by saying that he never liked you?"
"What do you think I meant by it? It's as clear as crystal. I'm not his type of woman."
"Then what was that little 'work relationship' between the two of you?" Holly crossed her arms.
"What are you talking about?"
"You two were lovers."
"We were what?" Juliet's eyes widened. Even though it started to get dark, Holly could well see the shock on the other girl's face.
"So… you weren't?"
"Of course we weren't! Why did you think we were?"
"Artemis told me." Holly shrugged.
"Oh. He wanted to make you jealous," Juliet concluded.
"Well, if he did, then he chose a very bad way of doing that!"
"Perhaps it wasn't that bad a way…" mused young Butler. "After all, you believed it and you were jealous."
"I wasn't."
"Yes, you were."
"I wasn't!" retorted Holly, close to laughing. This was somehow hilarious, even though she felt like strangling Artemis. But then again, when did she not feel like strangling him?
"Yes, you were!" Juliet snickered.
"All right, perhaps a bit," Holly gave in. "But… but if it wasn't you, then… I don't get it."
"What?"
"Earlier today you said that there were women who actually wanted him… though I really don't see why they would, but…"
"Oh, that." Juliet waved and flopped down on a fallen tree trunk. Holly took a place opposite her on a mossy rock.
"Yeah," the blonde girl began, "there were several women who wanted him… but trust me, not for his good looks or his wonderful manners."
Holly chuckled into her palms. There was no woman on earth who'd like Fowl for his manners. "Er… why then?"
"His money, obviously. It so happened that the old Fowl couple advised Artemis to get married and provide them with an heir. It must have been over a year ago. Artemis wasn't at all charmed by the idea, but he promised his parents that he'd at least try. And can you guess what he did?"
"Went to parties to get to know some ladies?" Holly guessed.
"Nope. He did something much less romantic – something you could actually expect from someone like Artemis Fowl II. Ehm… you could expect it from him, but it still shocked everyone in the family."
"Why? What did he do?"
"He advertised in the Irish Times and several international newspapers and magazines."
"Advertised?" Holly didn't know whether to tut or laugh.
"Yeah." Juliet grinned with a reminiscing expression. "It was ridiculous. So ridiculous that I memorised every word of that advertisement."
"Care to recount it to me?"
"Of course," the blonde girl giggled for a while, then straightened her back and her face to look as solemn as possible. "It was the following text: Irish millionaire too busy to date is seeking wife for the purpose of reproduction. Pretty young ladies between 18-30 are expected to respond. Natural red hair a plus, an IQ of at least 120 a must. We are going to test it! Address, telephone number, etc. etc…"
Now Holly really didn't know whether to gape like a fish or laugh uncontrollably. "And… and how many women responded to this?"
"Oh, it was a nightmare," sighed Juliet. "One hundred and forty two! And we had to test them all! Each of them had to fill in an IQ test first, and only those thirty-seven who got a result over 120 were allowed to meet Artemis in person. Certainly twenty-nine of them had dyed their hair red, but Artemis couldn't be fooled. He talked to each of them for about two minutes then told his parents that he didn't like any of them. You can imagine Angeline's crestfallen face. At first she had been against her son's method of acquiring a wife, but later she started to hope, and then what did Arty do? He ruined all her hopes."
"I think it's perhaps better this way, isn't it?" said Holly. "After all, Artemis is no father material. Had he got married and fathered a child, that poor thing would have had to put up with such a jerk for a father."
Juliet bit into her lower lip, thinking. "I don't know. Perhaps if he'd managed to marry someone whom he could love, then he would care for their child as well. He just needs to find the proper woman."
"Yeah, I suppose he does," replied Holly, standing up from the rock. "It's a shame though that it isn't you." She didn't even know why she'd said that. Only a few hours earlier the idea of Artemis and Juliet in a relationship had made her sick. Now that she knew that there had been absolutely nothing between the two, she felt more accepting towards the idea. As if Artemis's happiness were at least a bit important to her. Perhaps it even was. And if she had to imagine a woman at Fowl's side, then let it rather be someone like Juliet – someone trustworthy, who would stay with him for something else not his money…
"A shame? I don't think so," answered the Butler girl. "Artemis and me aren't made for each other. For one, we never quarrel like an old married couple," she added with a wink.
"You mean we do?" Holly pouted. "Fowl and I?"
"Yeah, you do. By the way, didn't you wonder why Artemis had put 'natural red hair a plus' into his ad?"
"No, I didn't," lied Holly. Of course she did! But it couldn't mean that Fowl had subconsciously 'remembered' her hair when he'd drafted the advertisement, could it? Noooo… She shook her head in disbelief.
"So you two aren't an item. And I thought you only became his bodyguard for… personal reasons. I mean… to protect your beloved."
"Nah. Not that I don't like Arty, but I like him as a brother. A very annoying little brother whom I feel like punching most of the time," Juliet replied with a wide grin.
"Why did you become a bodyguard, then? Before the mind-wipe I told you that you were no bodyguard-material because you had too much heart, and you even agreed!"
"I did. But the mind-wipe came, and I forgot that I did. Still, somehow my desire to get that blue diamond tattoo all but vanished… so I tried out for an American wrestling team. But soon I realised that it wasn't the job for me either, so I returned to Ireland and took on to guard Artemis, especially because Dom was getting weaker and weaker…" Juliet shrugged. "Now I'm only occasionally wrestling in an Irish club as a hobby, and protecting a Fowl as a job. Just like a Butler should."
"I see," Holly nodded, just when an arrow penetrated the tree two inches from her left ear.
"What the…?" cursed Holly, ducking into the shrubbery. Juliet, with her reflexes honed in Madam Ko's bodyguard school, had already pulled her tiny blaster out of its holster and was crawling forward in the undergrowth.
"Juliet…"
"Shhh!" the Butler girl pressed her index finger on her lips and beckoned to her companion to crawl next to her. Knowing that Juliet was the expert on hiding and ambush, Holly obeyed. She knew she could have shielded instead of hiding behind bushes, but resonating on a high frequency was quite troublesome in a thick jungle.
The further they crept through the undergrowth, the more clearly they heard voices coming from the direction the arrow had come from.
Suddenly Juliet halted and held out a hand to stop Holly as well. The fairy saw that they had arrived at the edge of a clearing. Although darkness had descended upon the jungle, the clearing wasn't completely dark – portable lamps were hanging on several tents and there was even a fire in the middle of the camp.
People were moving nearby, some of them laughing, one of them trying to shout, but all he managed to utter was a 'mmmph'. He must have been gagged.
As they reached into the circle of a nearby lamp, their faces got illuminated enough for Holly and Juliet to make out their features.
There was a fairly young but very strict-looking woman who seemed to be giving orders to two of her gorillas. The latter were dressed mostly in leather and seemed to be carrying at least a dozen guns each. One of them even had a pirate-like eye patch over his left eye.
The gorillas seemed to be dragging a third person; who was madly wriggling in their grip, trying to break free. He seemed to be a native, adorned with various feathers. To a more experienced eye it would have been obvious that those were quetzal feathers.
"That must be the one who'd shot the arrow," whispered Juliet to Holly.
"You mean he'd tried to shoot his attackers but missed?" Holly whispered back.
"Yeah. It's clear that the arrow wasn't meant for us."
"Well, that's a relief," replied the fairy sarcastically. "Who do you think these people are? Could they be…?"
Juliet shrugged. "Possible. That chick there could be Frazetti, and these two blokes in leather could be some of her infamous metal men. Though, I'd rather call them Leather Men…"
"If that's Frazetti," mused Holly, "then it is possible that Quench is here… and… Patrick!"
Without thinking she moved forward, and had Juliet not had such wonderful reflexes, then Holly would have unwittingly revealed their position to the supposed enemy.
"Don't!" hissed the blonde girl, grabbing Holly's arm and pulling her back.
Holly shuddered and hung her head as the realisation struck her that she could easily have ruined everything. "Sorry. I don't know what got into me. As a LEP commander, I'm supposed to be long past such hot-headed actions! I don't even deserve to be commander!"
"But of course you do," Juliet whispered, gently squeezing the fairy's arm. "And you're a good commander. Just a bit… over-emotional."
Holly smiled bitterly. "That's what Foaly says all the time: elves are emotional creatures."
They directed their attention back to the clearing and saw that the woman told something to her gorillas then departed. The two bulky men bound the unfortunate Indian to a nearby tree then they left too.
"Do you reckon we could look for your son now?" wondered Juliet. "You could shield and look around a bit, and I could free this poor bloke until then…"
"No." Holly shook her head. "No more hot-headedness. If Quench and some of his fairy cronies are here, disguised as Mud People, then they could easily spot me when I peek into their tents, even if I'm shielded. To a Mud Person, shielded fairies are just a shimmer in the air, but to other fairies that shimmer is a dead giveaway. We can't risk that. Not even… not even if my son is just a hundred feet away, waiting for me in one of the tents…" A tremor ran down her body, but she forced herself not to tremble. She had to be strong. "We have to stick to the plan."
"All right. But we could still free this poor chap here." Juliet pointed at the native American.
"I'm not sure about this, Juliet… it could screw up everything. If Artemis finds out that we did anything that wasn't part of the plan…"
"What? Are you afraid of Arty?"
"Of course not! It's just… all right, let's do it." With that Holly began rearranging her auburn locks, to cover her pointy ears as much as possible. Sensing the other girl's surprised look on herself, she explained: "The Indian has to believe I'm a human too. A very short human, but a human nevertheless. I'm going to shield and switch off that lamp. When the light is out, run to the tree and cut the ropes. And not with your Neutrino. With a knife. I expect you have one?"
"Of course I do, but why-?"
"Because if the ropes are cut by a knife, then the captors might think it was done by another Indian. But if they see laser-burns on the ropes, they'll know that someone with a more advanced technology is around," said Holly quietly. "Quench will know it's the result of a fairy blaster, he'll know we are around, and he'll start a hunt for us. That's the last thing we need."
"Good thinking," Juliet admitted and pulled a knife out of her right boot.
In less than a minute the light near the aforementioned tree went out and Juliet set into action.
The Indian stiffened as he felt that someone was cutting his bonds from behind.
Holly carefully looked around and unshielded before the captive, pressing her index finger on her lips to show that the man should remain silent, even though he was still gagged, thus not capable of shouting.
The ropes fell off and Juliet gently grabbed the bewildered Indian's arms and led him into the forest.
Artemis hadn't slept for a single minute. First, because the mosquito bites still itched and hurt, especially on the most sensitive part of his body. Stupid Juliet had just stormed away following Holly, forgetting to give him an Aspirin or whatever they had for painkiller. Artemis, however, regarded it as beneath his dignity to start rummaging through the girl's rucksack, not to mention that it was big enough to swallow Artemis if he accidentally fell into it in the middle of a search for Aspirin. So he rather decided to wait for the girls to return.
He waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.
The girls still didn't turn up.
Artemis was getting slightly worried. He tried to convince himself that the reason for his worry was that his pain wouldn't go away until he got a painkiller, and if the two females didn't turn up any time soon, then he'd have a sleepless night.
Yes, Artemis tried to lull himself into the belief that he was worried about himself. But as the time passed he realised with dismay that he was worried about the girls. Especially about the shorter one.
What if something had happened to them?
No, Juliet would protect Holly, he told himself.
But what if Juliet got into trouble and Holly was trying to save her, to no avail?
I'm going to regret this, he thought and picked up a torch and a blaster.
Every crack in the undergrowth made him cringe and look around nervously, pointing the torch in the direction the crack had come from. He never spotted any animal. Either the animals were damn good at hiding or Artemis was getting horribly paranoid.
A cricket chirped nearby and something soared above, whipping its wings rather loudly. Probably bats, he thought, but the idea didn't calm him a bit. Such ugly, leathery creatures gave him the creeps. Bats were almost as ugly as goblins, for heaven's sake! But look at its positive side, he told himself, bats at least don't carry around Softnoses.
Something flashed at him and he almost dropped the torch. It was the
eyes of an owl. It hooted at Artemis in an unfriendly way.
Rolling his eyes at his own cowardice, Artemis continued to walk in
the direction he'd seen Holly and Juliet disappear.
After ten minutes of walking he decided never again to set foot in any jungle. It was definitely the most frightening experience of his life. Certainly, he had been in tough situations before, but then there had always been someone to help him, support him. In the Arctic there had been Butler, Root and Holly. In Koboi Labs there had been Butler, Root, Mulch and Holly. In Spiro Needle there had been Holly. Holly had always been there…
Despite the seriousness of the situation and his ever-growing sense of insecurity, Artemis allowed himself a smile. Holly had always helped, no matter what… She'd healed Butler after the troll-incident, and did it out of the goodness of her heart. She'd healed his mother, and for some reason Artemis had the feeling that Holly would have done it even without getting back half of the ransom. Holly had also tried to persuade Root not to mind-wipe him. It had been a futile attempt, but at least she'd tried. At least she'd cared. But did he deserve her caring?
At that moment he felt that he did not. True, he had been sort of nice to her the previous evening, trying to alleviate her concerns, but he didn't do it completely out of the goodness of his heart. Something that terribly resembled pangs of remorse bit into his chest. He didn't like the feeling. It was almost humiliating - unworthy of a Fowl!
"I think it'd be better to take a detour to get back to Artemis," Juliet spoke up when they had got far enough from Frazetti's camp to speak aloud.
"Right." Holly nodded. "Time to remove the gag of our friend, don't you think?"
"Are you sure he won't shout?"
"He won't. I'll tell him not to," replied the fairy and turned to the Indian. "My companion is going to remove your gag if you promise that you won't shout. Just nod your head."
The native nodded.
"Oh, now I understand," said Juliet, "you're wearing a translator, aren't you? It works both ways, right? You understand all languages and everyone understands you."
"Yeah."
Juliet removed the gag. "There you go, little fellow. You're free."
The Indian dropped to his knees and began to gabble.
"What is he saying?" Juliet frowned.
"He's saying thanks to the goddesses Chalchihuitlcue and Coyolxauhqui for saving him from evil white men with fire-spitting arms."
"Goddesses?" Juliet looked around, searching for the aforementioned divine ladies.
"He thinks we are the goddesses," Holly explained in an amused voice. "You may rise," she turned to the Indian.
"Cool," the blonde woman chuckled. "Just wait till I tell my friends in the wrestling club that someone mistook me for Chalkcue or Coyotetail."
"Listen," the fairy addressed the man again, "we are heading back to our camp. You may return to your folk now."
"No. Emerald Snake would like to serve the two goddesses to pay them for rescuing Emerald Snake from the clutches of evil," the Indian replied, still not standing up.
"What is he saying?" asked Juliet.
"He wants to serve us. I think he believes he owes us a life-debt or something of the sort."
"Well, that's not bad at all, is it? He could help us carry our luggage. My rucksack weighs fifty kilos, and Artemis also seems to have problems carrying his own seven-kilo one…"
Holly couldn't help but giggle. Even though Artemis seemed to have developed some muscles due to the home gym he'd allegedly ordered from TV Shop, he wasn't much stronger than he had been as a thirteen-year-old.
"We can't use this poor fellow, Juliet." Holly said finally.
"Why not? He knows the jungle better than any of us or any of Frazetti's gang. He could even lead us to the pyramid…"
The commander seemed contemplative for a moment. "Well, perhaps… But we must ask Artemis's opinion of this…"
Artemis was getting really worried. The creepy sounds of the jungle night kept growing louder and louder, every ugly little yellow pair of eyes seemed to be following his steps and he got more and more convinced that he'd got lost. The girls were still nowhere to be seen or heard. The only more or less calming sound he heard was the rushing of water, but as he thought further, he had to realise that the presence of water shouldn't be a calming factor, given that it indeed meant he'd got lost. He didn't even have the slightest idea in which direction he had come and cursed his stupidity for not bringing a compass from the camp.
It must be the end, if HE, Artemis Fowl the Second, started to act insensibly
- he thought bitterly. If only the foliage would become thinner and he
could have a look at the stars, then perhaps he could establish which direction
were North and South.
After another five minutes the trees indeed began to thin and the ground
started to slope a bit, towards the river. Now Artemis got a fairly good
view of the night sky and spotted Polaris to his left. Good. This meant
he had come from the West.
Suddenly he heard movement. It definitely wasn't that 'little monkeys stirring in the trees' sort of movement; it rather sounded like humans trotting through the knee-high grass. He twirled around and immediately spotted three figures – two of them of normal height, one of them barely higher than the grass itself.
Thank heaven, he heaved a sigh or relief. Holly was safe and with Juliet. But who was the third person? Well, the three seemed to be walking next to each other, and none of them were pushing the others or holding the others in any way, so Artemis was sure that the third person must have come willingly with the girls and wasn't acting like someone who had the intention of holding them as hostages.
In the shadow of a riverside tree, Artemis started to wave. He decided not to wave with his torch lit, given that they were on an open area, and light-signs could be seen easier here than in the thick forest; and he didn't want to risk that someone besides the girls and their companion would notice him.
"Look, that's Arty!" Juliet pointed at him and started hurrying in his direction.
The third person bent down to tell something to Holly, or rather to ask her something, because she seemed to be answering, gesturing towards Artemis.
"Hey, Arty, what are you doing here?" asked Juliet as she reached up to him.
"I just… fancied a bit of walk," replied the young man coldly. He wouldn't sink so low as to admit he'd been worried!
"Oh. A walk," Juliet echoed him in a dubious voice.
"Yeah. A walk. What's so strange about me going for a walk?"
"Oh, nothing… just that you always used to be scared of night time strolls when Butler wasn't there," said the girl in a sugar-sweet voice, but Artemis could easily detect the hidden mocking in it. "Why, I remember that once you were left alone in Mrs. Fowl's arbour only fifty feet from the house, and you were dead scared that the crickets would eat you alive. When Butler brought you into the house, you were wailing about evil human-eating crickets… You weren't on a fancy night time stroll, admit it."
Artemis felt like giving the impudent girl a lecture on child-psychology and the kids' natural fear of insects, when something gently fell on his shoulder.
"Aaaaaarrghhh!" he screamed, and still feeling the weight on his shoulder, he started to flail his hands, dropping his torch and blaster.
"That's a gecko, just a tiny gecko…" Juliet began, trying to get the unfortunate animal off her charge, but Artemis wouldn't even let her go near him with all the flailing.
"Stop that, Artemis, I'm trying to help, and shut up, will you…?" Juliet pleaded and with a determined move, she caught the young man's arms in one hand and grabbed the scared-to-death gecko with the other.
Artemis, however, seemed to have cracked under the weight of this 'night time stroll'. All the creepy jungle sounds, all the popping yellow eyes had caused him quite a bit of a trauma, and the gecko was the last straw. Adrenaline rushing through his veins, he instinctively yanked himself back from Juliet's grip. The girl with the poor gecko in hand lost her balance and tumbled into the water.
Artemis lost balance too and ended up on his bottom, madly gasping for breath.
"What the heck was that, Fowl?" Holly ran up to him.
"A… rather… dangerous… reptile… attacked me…"
"And Juliet?" Holly picked the fallen torch off the ground, switched it on and directed its beam on the river.
"Juliet…" grunted Artemis, deciding that he'd never forgive the girl for not noticing and not catching that horrible cockatrice in the air before it could have descended onto his shoulder. "Some bodyguard she is…"
"Some bodyguard she was…" Holly whispered in state of shock.
"What?" Artemis blinked.
"She disappeared," came the fairy's reply. "The river… It… must've taken her away… or killed her."
"That's impossible," muttered Artemis, and too weakened by the 'gecko shock' to stand up, crawled to Holly and stared into the swift river. The elf had been right – this river wasn't a peaceful, slow-drifting one, this would have been a paradise for the lovers of extreme sports with its rapids and several rocks.
His stomach contracted and a lump rose in his throat. It can't be possible that they'd lost Juliet! Juliet was one of the best! She'd got her blue diamond tattoo in Madam Ko's school! She was an elite bodyguard, for heaven's sake! Someone who couldn't be killed by a stupid gecko!
And yet it seemed that she was.
Forgetting about his intention of remaining inconspicuous to possible enemies, he shouted into the night.
"JULIEEEEEEET!"
A/N: poor Juliet, what happened to her?
Well, at least Artemis and Holly are left alone now (well, almost ;)
Review, please!