So now Izaya has to deal with doing Shizuo's job. Let's see if he botches it or not!
Chapter 11
"Where the hell is he…?" Izaya growled to himself, waiting out in front of Russia Sushi. "Stupid Shizu-chan… You said you would be here…"
"Shizuo, there you are!"
Izaya turned around to see Tom approaching, the debt collector raising a hand in greeting. The informant took a deep breath and waved at Tom, putting on his best Shizuo-face.
"G-good morning, Tom-san," he greeted, smiling slightly. Where the hell are you, protozoan? "So, uh… where are we going to start today?"
"There's some bum a few blocks away that's been borrowing money from us off and on," Tom explained as they started to walk away from the restaurant. "We've visited him before. I'm sure you remember."
"Oh… oh!" Izaya chuckled nervously. Shit! What do I do now? "Th-that guy! Of course I remember! Wasn't he the one with the… um… the face…?"
Tom raised an eyebrow. "Uh… They've all had faces, Shizuo…"
Oh that was bad… Izaya cursed to himself. Okay… Okay… Dig yourself out of a hole now… He then felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and he pulled the dinky orange gadget out, looking at the screen. His eyebrows arched in surprise; a new text message? From who? He opened the message and read the text.
Don't you dare start to freak out now, flea. If you screw up, I will disembowel you on the spot.
Izaya froze and stared at the message. Sh-Shizu-chan…? He looked around and saw Shizuo watching him from a dark alley. The bodyguard frowned at him and motioned for him to read the rest of the message.
I'll be giving you instructions through texting. If Tom asks, just tell him that you're talking to Kasuka. By the way, the man Tom mentioned is Takahiro Yoshida.
"Got a text?" Tom asked and Izaya looked up from the phone.
"Yeah… Just Kasuka," Izaya lied, slipping the phone into his pocket. "So, Yoshida's place, right?"
"Exactly," Tom smiled. "I'm glad you remembered; you seem like you've been slipping lately."
"Just recovering from being a bit sick, that's all," Izaya said casually as they walked along. He caught Shizuo watching them from the corner of his eye. The bodyguard looked extremely relieved and a small smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. Izaya smiled and quickly flashed the bodyguard a thumbs-up.
So far, so good.
They were eventually at the apartment complex where Yoshida lived and Izaya could see Shizuo lurking in the alley nearby, the furred hood of his jacket pulled over his face. The bodyguard nodded at the informant, a sign of good luck, and Izaya followed Tom into the building.
As the debt collector went to talk with the receptionist, the phone in Izaya's pocket vibrated again and he grabbed it, opening the text message in seconds.
You look nervous.
Of course I'm nervous! Izaya fiercely typed. Our cover depends on this!
You'll do fine, was Shizuo's response. You know how short my temper is. Once Yoshida starts to ramble on and on about why he couldn't pay the money back, start to act frustrated and then explode. Throw some furniture around, start yelling crazy shit… You know, the works.
Easier said than done… Izaya typed with a snort.
"Shizuo, are you coming?" Tom asked from the reception desk.
"Sorry," Izaya apologized and stuffed the phone back into his pocket. "What room is he in?"
"403," the debt collector responded. "Slippery bastard… He's constantly changing rooms but he's never smart enough to pay off his debts."
"Ass."
"Pretty much," Tom sighed once they reached the room. "Please, Shizuo, hold back a little this time. I don't want something to happen like the last time…"
"Okay…?" Izaya furrowed his brow as Tom knocked on the door. 'Last time?' What had happened last time?
"Mr. Yoshida! Open up!" the debt collector called. "We know you're in there!"
"Get the hell away!" the man from inside snapped back. "I wouldn't come out if you paid me!"
"That's the issue…" Tom muttered under his breath. "We're always giving him money…" He went back to address Yoshida again. "Listen, we just need you to pay up, okay? If you just cooperate, I promise nothing bad will happen."
"Bullshit!" Yoshida cried. "That crazy partner of yours put me in a neck brace last time!"
Izaya blinked at the door. Oh… So that was what happened…
Tom sighed and turned to Izaya. "He's not going to open the door. Would you like to do the honors?" He stepped away from the door, giving Izaya a wide berth.
"Sure," the informant said and lifted a leg, kicking the door down in one swift motion.
From inside, Yoshida squealed like a little girl and tried to squeeze himself under his bed. "I'm not home! Go away!"
Tom sighed and shook his head, walking into the apartment. "I wish people could figure out that if they paid their debts, this wouldn't have to happen…" He looked at Yoshida's rather large ass, which was having a hard time fitting underneath the man's bed. "Look, just pay up already. It wouldn't have to be this bad if you could just stop spending all the money we loan you on booze and cigarettes…"
"Listen, man!" Yoshida cried, poking his face out from under the bed. "I would if I could! But you know, my sister's sick and I need…"
"You used that excuse last time."
"W-well… My girlfriend had to have surgery and…"
"Used that one the time before last."
"My girlfriend's dog…?"
"That one's old too."
Yoshida looked completely lost for words and his eyebrow was furrowed heavily as he tried to think of an excuse he hadn't used before. Izaya rolled his eyes; were all of these people just plain stupid? As the in-debt man started going through excuses, Izaya remembered what Shizuo had told him and began to twitch his eyebrow as if he were frustrated.
Time to let out my inner-Shizu-chan… he paused mid-thought and suppressed a shudder. I've really spent too much time with the protozoan…
"Okay! So my mother is dying slowly of cancer and my brother is living on the streets!" Yoshida started to plead. "Not to mention that my poor grandmother is stuck all alone overseas and doesn't have enough money for a plane ticket! I spent that money all for a good reason, I swear!"
"That's a new one," Tom remarked and the other's expression brightened. "But I still need to be paid back."
"Listen, man! I already told you that I can't!"
"Would you just shut the fuck up?" Izaya snapped from the back, tightening his hands into fists for the full effect. "It's already enough that I have to deal with people like you just about every day!" Yoshida squeaked and backed up as Izaya stalked over to him. "And you know what really pisses me off about this? You don't seem to learn! We've had to come here and do this over and over! Are you really that stupid?"
"I…. I… I…"
"Just pay back the damn money already!" Izaya growled, glaring down at the man. "I have multiple stops after this and I haven't got all day! Pay up, scumbag!" Tom, knowing what was going to come next, decided to wait outside of the apartment.
Yoshida screamed like a five-year-old and went to dive under his bed again. Izaya had to hand it to himself; he was doing well at making this guy almost piss his pants. Now to throw heavy objects…
"Don't you even try to squirm out of this!" he roared and picked up the bed, flinging it behind him so that it flew through the window and landed on the street below. He then grabbed the crying man and picked him up by his collar, lifting him up into the air. "Pay up. NOW."
"O-okay! I'll pay you back, I swear!" Yoshida wailed, crying and flailing in Izaya's grip. "Just don't hurt meeeeee!"
Tom, now knowing that the situation had been handled, popped back into the apartment and nodded, signaling for Izaya to release the sobbing man.
"So Mr. Yoshida…" he said, holding out his hand. "I believe you owe us a little over a thousand yen…"
As the man shoved money into Tom's hand, Izaya wandered over to the broken window and looked down at the broken bed down below. Shizuo trotted into view, giving Izaya a thumbs up from below. Izaya smiled and lifted a hand in greeting.
"Shizuo, we're done here," Tom said, walking up to the other. "What are you looking at?"
Izaya froze and so did Shizuo once Tom peered out of the hole in the wall. The debt collector looked over at Izaya with a tired gaze and sighed.
"Just do what you have to do on this one," he sighed and walked away. "I'll just move onto the next 'victim.'"
Suddenly, something clicked in Izaya's brain. Wait… was Tom giving him permission to deal with Shizuo? In truth, he shouldn't have been surprised; Tom was already used to their rivalry. An evil grin twisted Izaya's lips as the gears started to turn in his mind.
So does this mean that I get to throw things at Shizu-chan?
From below, Shizuo frowned as Izaya disappeared from view. That flea better be coming down soon; they still had a few more stops to go. He waited patiently, watching the door for the flea. Where the hell was he?
That's funny… he thought as a shadow passed over-head. It suddenly got darker…
He looked up and saw a dresser hurtling towards him. Thinking fast, he dove out of the way.
"Izaaaayaaaaa~!"
Shizuo looked up to see Izaya standing above, waving at him. "Did you like my gift?"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Shizuo yelled up at the informant and some people passing by ran for cover. "You could have killed me!"
"Tom-san gave me time to chase you around the streets," Izaya chuckled. "So that's what I'm going to do~!"
"Wait… You're not supposed to…!" Shizuo protested, backing away from the building. This was just wrong! It wasn't the natural order of things! Izaya threw a table at him, interrupting his inner-dialogue. "Flea! Stop it! This isn't funny!"
"Fufufufu~" Izaya chuckled and disappeared from sight.
Shizuo started to back away from the building, suddenly wary of his surroundings. "F-flea… This is some sort of bad joke, isn't it…?"
"Not at all~" a voice purred and Shizuo whipped around to find Izaya standing behind him, his expression akin to that of a rapist.
"How on earth did you do that?" Shizuo gasped, jumping away.
Izaya just smiled and lifted a vending machine over his head. Shizuo paled considerably; the hunter had become the hunted. Before anyone could bat an eyelash, the bodyguard's feet had grown wings and he was speeding down the street as vending machine after vending machine pummeled the pavement behind him.
"This just isn't right!" he screamed. "What is wrong with the world?"
That day, everyone made sure to flee from the streets as the two raced through, Shizuo running for his life and Izaya laughing maniacally while holding a vending machine over his head.
…
"You… are insane…" Shizuo panted from the floor of his apartment. Izaya stood over him, a devious smile on his face.
"I try, Shizu-chan~" he chuckled.
The two had ended their little "show" when Shizuo had jumped a fence and took the back way to his apartment. Izaya, who had come down from the self-induced high of "playing" with his favorite "toy," dropped the vending machine he had been holding and went back to Shizuo's apartment as if nothing had happened.
"Awww… Did I make poor little Shizu-chan tired?" Izaya teased and squatted down so that he was level with the other. "Poor little Shizu-chan~" He reached out and patted Shizuo's hair, earning a growl from the bodyguard.
"You forgot to go back to Tom, didn't you?" he sighed, not even bothering to bat the hand away.
"Oopsies~"
"I guess it doesn't really matter…" Shizuo sighed, leaning against the couch. "He usually gives up once I start to chase you around." He glanced down at the floor, feeling slightly awkward. "I guess that gives us some time alone together…"
"Y-yeah…" Izaya mumbled, flushing and looking down at the floor as well. "I guess…" He sat on the couch and looked down at the bodyguard, waiting for him to speak first.
"So… uh… I guess tomorrow you'll be walking me through your job?" Shizuo asked, not looking at the informant.
"Yeah…" Izaya muttered, too absorbed in his thoughts to listen. "Hey… um… mind if we go out for lunch or something? I'm hungry."
"Oh… Sure…" Shizuo nodded, looking up warily at the other. "Russia Sushi?"
"Sounds good," Izaya hopped up to his feet and quickly walked to the door, not really bothering to make eye contact with the bodyguard.
Shizuo frowned and got to his feet, following slowly. What the hell was this? When had Izaya become so confusing? The Izaya he knew was annoying and constantly making snide remarks. The Izaya that had just left the apartment, no, that stranger wasn't acting like the flea Shizuo knew. Since when did moments between them lack scalding comments and snappy arguments?
Maybe this is just part of us getting to know each other…?
The bodyguard shook his head and walked out of the door, lagging slightly behind Izaya. It was almost as if the informant was acting shy. But… why? It didn't have something to do with the night before, did it?
Ahead of Shizuo, Izaya's mind was also in turmoil. He didn't know what had come over him in the apartment. One moment he was teasing Shizu-chan like usual and then next he couldn't even spit out a single word, much less an insult. The change seemed to set in after Shizuo mentioned them being alone together but why would that even bug him? Shizu-chan was just Shizu-chan. Nothing had changed between them.
Izaya fingered his lips, remembering the drunken kiss from the night before. Nothing had changed… right? They still hated each other, right? Suddenly, the informant who seemed to know everything wasn't so sure of that now. Ever since that small, meaningless kiss, Izaya found that whenever he got too close to the bodyguard his stomach would twist itself in knots. It was all confusing but what trouble him the most was that he didn't know why it was happening.
Just don't think about it, he told himself. What happened last night was meaningless. You're making a big deal out of nothing.
He nodded his head slightly as he walked along. Yes, that was it; it was nothing. Nothing had happened and nothing was going to change. They were going to work together for the time being and switch back to their respective place. That was all they needed to do.
And not to mention, they still hated each other.
Right?