Chapter 11
The hospital found out I was pregnant which didn't really surprise me as I was getting bigger by the hour, literally about a month after I found out the sex of my baby I was in my horrid green scrubs and by lunch time I was about ready to die! I mean I put them on the morning and within hours I was ready to walk around in the top only.
"Here" Anthony said tossing me a pair of his scrubs and laughed, always the comedian I would like to see him carry around a baby and look hot doing it… on second thoughts he probably could, this man could make shoveling shit look good, like Edward….I missed Edward so much, I cried myself to sleep and I woke up sweaty from dreams of being with Edward.
My pregnancy was doing well….no I really couldn't complain my little peanut turned into a major thumper literally kicking the living shit out of me.
We were under the constant eye of the hospital administration as they felt I was getting away with murder due to my relationship with Anthony yet my relationship to Edward did not permit then to give me any grief about it, I felt trapped and all my initial dreams seemed to be overshadowed by my fait hanging in the balance of these two men, the one I could learn from and the one I was having a hard time living without.
I was not going to be the most unprepared mother in history. Alec was shopping up a storm for Edward jnr. as he now called the thumper but I was not ready to face motherhood at all….I didn't have any of the shit you need? Cot carrier…..bath…and it is not because Anthony and Alec weren't pressuring me cause heaven only knows how many days they begged me to please just go and get some stuff for the baby but I never caved…the reason was the uncertainty I was feeling about keeping this away from Edward, he should be part of this child's life, I was depraving our son and Edward of the life they both deserved and my heart ached for him.
Esme, Alice, Rose and even Emmett called me on a regular basis but no one dared utter a word about Edward…
I was hitting my Eight month mark with the pregnancy and it was getting exceedingly difficult continue my residency as I was not able to keep up with the hours or the running around. Anthony begrudgingly suggested I take my leave early to allow me some time to get myself sorted and ready for the baby.
"Last checkup under the radar" Anthony snickered as I walked into his office.
"What do you mean?" I asked as I lay down on the bed.
"Bella you need to see a gynecologist?" he laughed
"I am fairly confidant enough to say that I have given you expert care better so than any gynecologist but you would still need one" he smiled.
"Yeah I suppose" I smiled
The baby was doing marvelous and getting bigger by the day.
"Esme invited me to thanksgiving" I said breaking the silence….
"Oh? And have you decided if you are going to go and do the big reveal?"
"I am not sure, she said you can come too, but I know you and Alec are planning on going to you dad's before thumper gets here"
"You are welcome to join us" he assured me like the other hundred times he had done it...
"I think I am being selfish and Edward needs to know at least" I finished.
"OH BOO I AM SO HAPPY!" Alec said walking into Anthony office.
"Were you listening by the door?" Anthony scolded
"Obviously!" he laughed the man had no shame; he even took it upon himself to purchase me an electric pink vibrator to take my edge off…
"Maybe after thanksgiving we can go and shop for some baby stuff?" He asked and I smiled knowing I couldn't put it off any longer.
So with a new resolve I greeted my two men at the airport, and they promised to be on the first flight in the moment I needed them...
"You know no matter what we will come right?" Alec said almost crying.
"Yes I know…I just I am scared so if I call you all freaked out just give it an hour or so before you come and get me" I laughed
"Don't forget to take your vitamins and drink enough water, you need to eat more as well" Anthony said.
"I know, I know!"
"And get enough rest" he reminded me as my flight was being called.
"Call us" Alec pleaded after I hugged them for the tenth time.
"Love you guys" I cried
"Love you too cupcake, and you EJ, take care of mommy Kay?" Alec said kissing my belly while Anthony bent down to do the same.
They had loved my pregnancy and spent endless hours talking to my belly much to my own amusement.
"Who is getting you at the airport?" Alec asked as I checked my luggage.
"No one, I didn't tell Esme I was coming. I have booked a car."
"I don't think driving in your condition is a good idea" Anthony moaned
"What? You are a doctor and you know a pregnancy is not a terminal illness come one" I laughed.
And then I was being ushered on board by the stewardess Alec had flirted with to keep a special eye on me!
We touched down and I was literally taking my time getting my luggage when I saw a sign with my name on? I did a double take because nobody knew I was coming.
"Hi I am Bella Swan?" I smiled at the guy.
"Welcome, Mr. Martinez said you shouldn't be difficult and realize they just care so come along then" the guys said taking my luggage and ushering me to the car.
I took out my phone and sent him a quick text.
Arrived safely thanks for the chauffer! – B
Thanks for accepting the chauffer love you and call if you need me – A
We pushed off towards the address Esme had listed on her invite for thanksgiving as she had moved in with Carlisle.
The car pulled up in front of the house and I started to panic…..what was I going to do or say? How will they react? Will Edward already be here? What the FUCK! I should have told him sooner, I should have gotten in touch….maybe just something! I am a terrible person!
'Miss Swan?" the driver inquired as he had already taken my luggage out of the car
"I just need a second" I smiled.
"No Problem" he said stepping back the door open and fresh air streaming into the car calmed my nerves just a fraction….until the front door opened up…..and Emmett walked out a bowl of food in his hand.
"Bella?" he called tossing the bowl into the shrubs next to the door and running towards the car.
"Hi?" I said still sitting in the car.
"Hi!" he yelled excitedly….the look of confusion on his face as I got out of the car was priceless….I mean I literally needed help carrying my belly around.
I was wearing a pink maternity top with a white camisole underneath and a pair of jeans and pumps…I looked cute…Alec insisted I dress the part of the radiant mother to be so my clothes rocked….kind off….
"Oh honey you look beautiful" he smiled as he gently pulled me towards him into a tight hug.
"Are you alone?" he asked
"Yes" is all I could manage without crying.
"Wait I will carry you" he said
"Are you out of you mind!" I managed to laugh…
"No I just don't want you to hurt yourself" he smiled.
"I have been carrying this baby around for eight months and managed to not break" I laughed.
"That far along huh?" he huffed.
"Yes" he was annoyed and I wasn't sure if it was that he maybe did the calculation and realized it might be Edwards and he was disgusted?
I walked next to him into the house and there was the entire family seated in the lounge watching a movie of sorts.
"Who was it Emme…." Rose started to ask but when she looked up and saw me she screamed and ran over to me. Not even noticing I am pregnant.
"Hi Rose" I laughed
"Bella it is so good to see you" she laughed stepping back.
"Oh?" she said noticing my belly!
"Hi Be…." Esme started but stopped once she saw my tummy.
Edward was seated on the couch, not even looking up to meet my gaze…
Esme hugged me as well as Jasper Carlisle and Alice….
"Come and sit down you look exhausted" Esme said pushing me into a chair right across form Edward.
"How are you? I mean how far along are you?" Esme smiled
"Eight months" I said looking at my hands
"Did you know when you were here for the wedding?" Alice asked hurt
"Yes"
"Why didn't you say anything?" She asked
"I….I…made a mistake" I said looking up and meeting Edward's furious gaze.
"Well where is Anthony?" Carlisle said also pissed off.
"He went to visit his dad."
"Is it wise for him to be away when the baby is almost due?" Emmett said.
Fucking hell everyone was pissed off at me.
"Why? I can find any doctor" I said very confused I mean yes I wanted them there and I wanted them to be part of the family but fuck is this really necessary.
"It isn't about the doctor it is about the obligation of a father" Carlisle moaned
"He isn't obligated to me or the baby because he isn't the father" I said frowning at them. Did they think he was the father? Can these people not to mental calculations.
"Oh well then Alec should have stuck around?" Alice asked
"Are you people for Real?" I yelled getting up out of my seat.
"Alec and Anthony are a couple, they have been for the last six years" I said sobbing.
"But…you…they….he… was here holding you…" Esme stammered
"They were being supportive of me! Fuck do I come across as a fucking whore? I am eight months pregnant do the math for yourselves!" I cried picking up my bag and my suitcase and walking out the door.
Holy shit did they think I go around screwing everyone?
"Bella wait!" Edward said speaking for the first time.
"Eight months ago, we were together for the night?" he asked and I nodded as tears streamed down my face.
"Are you telling me you carried my baby for the last eight months and you couldn't even let me know?" he yelled and I nodded again.
"That is some messed up shit Bella" he yelled leaving the lounge and going up the stairs right across form the door I was exiting.
I pulled my phone out and googled Taxi but Emmett's car pulled up in front of me and he came around grabbing my case and opening the door for me.
"Fuck them" he barked as he shut the door to his jeep.
"Are you okay Bella?" he asked concerned
"No" I said as my hysterical sobs started.
He took my hand in his and drove ahead to one of the hotels as short drive from the house.
"I need a suite please" he smiled at the lady and handed over his card.
I watched dazed as he carried my luggage and ushered me into the lift, I stared blankly at the wall not seeing anything, Emmett took total control of me and my belongings as he ushered me into the suite.
"It is going to be okay" he smiled tentatively as he pushed me down on the couch and pulled my feet into his lap, he removed my shoes and started rubbing my feet reminding me so much of Alec, he use to rub my feet whenever I went over.
"I love him Emmett" I said trying to control my crying.
"And he loves you Bella" he smiled
"Tanya?" I asked
"She is just a novelty" he smiled and I hurt all over again.
"I really need some peanut butter" I laughed
"Peanut butter?" he laughed as I nodded
"How long has this peanut butter relationship been going on?" he teased as he slipped my shoes back on and then we made our way out of the hotel and into the street that was nice and warm, my eyes already red and puffy from crying.
"Thumper cut that out" I scolded at my tummy as I felt him kick the living shit out of me.
"Could I?" Emmett asked as I rubbed my belly.
"Of course" I smiled taking his hand and placing it where I felt thumper kick
"WOW" Emmett laughed as his hand was kicked
"Yeah he is a big boy" I laughed
"A boy?" he smiled
"Yes"
We got the peanut butter and I grabbed some gherkins which made Emmett wince, frankly I have lived on peanut butter for my entire pregnancy.
I took seven tubs off the shelf.
"Do you really need a years supply?" he laughed
"Emmett I would be lucky if this is a two day supply"
He carried the bag in one hand and the jar of gherkins in the other while I had the peanut butter and a lose gherkin in mine eating it…
"Hmmm" I moaned
"Let me taste" he said
"Okay" I said giving him a generous offer of peanut butter with his gherkin.
"Fuck Bella that's horrible" he moaned as he tried to swallow it down.
His cell phone rang non stop and so did mine but he confiscated mine.
"They need to sweat some" he said switching both phones off.
"Talk to me Bella" Emmett said as we settle down on the couch after my shower.
"Emmett I was so scared of taking Edward away from what he loved you know? I just couldn't be the one….but I came to realize that I am nothing without him Emmett, I tried so hard, and then I found out I was pregnant, and I am going to be the worlds worst mother…I mean I don't even have anything for the baby other than a shit load of clothes that I didn't even buy." I cried.
"Bella" he said pulling me onto his lap.
"I just wanted him so bad, I wanted to tell him at the wedding so badly but then he said he wanted to marry Tanya and she wanted to start a family and I wanted him to be happy, and have someone that could be more for him than I was" I cried….
"He wanted you any way he could have you. He was willing to sacrifice everything, and for Edward that is saying a lot" Emmett said and I knew at some stage someone had to take his side.
"When I was little my mother….she told my father that if he loved her enough he with leave the marines…..I have never seen a man hurt and suffer the way my father did, It made him hate my mother and she hated him for hating her, and they would fight constantly. I didn't want that. I didn't want him to hate me and make our baby unhappy because he missed doing what he did. I also wasn't sure if I could be the one waiting for him to come home in one piece."
"I don't understand? Edward went on his last active mission before he met you? We were all deployed for nine months and then we had a debriefing before we went on holiday. He made that decision before he met you Bella?"
"I…I…didn't know that, he never said anything"
"I think he may have tried just never really succeeded." Emmett explained
"He deserves to be with someone who can accept all of him, and I thought I couldn't be that person. But I can Emmett, I want to be that person for him, he makes it all better. He is home for me" I cried and he smiled
"That's my girls!" He laughed.
"Let's get some sleep little one" he smiled and I went into my room to sleep.
I could hear Emmett snore in the other room and even though it was comforting to know I wasn't alone I didn't sleep much, from the time I was about six months pregnant I found It hard to sleep so I invested in a snuggle buddy for pregnant woman but I couldn't exactly put it on a plane with me…although I should have.
I need peanut butter that is what I need…so I got out of bed and made my way into the lounge area in search of my peanut butter but as luck would have it I had no more pickles and I needed fucken pickles…
I just needed pickles and sleep that is all….I walked over to Emmett's room and crawled onto the bed next to him.
He was nice and warm…..
"Bella?" he asked as I slid under the covers.
"Sorry Em" I smiled as he pulled me close to him and I drifted off to sleep.
Thumper got rowdy about three am kicking Emmett in the ribs, and each time Emmett would giggle like a little girl. He was rubbing his hand over my belly and his hand was huge so thumper would follow his hand and kick him some more.
"I need pickles" I moaned more from the pain of thumper kicking me than my actual craving for pickles.
"The closest open store is an hour away, but….Esme has this huge jar of pickles in her fridge" he smiled.
"How big?" I asked and he laughed as thumper attacked him again.
"He is a rowdy little one isn't he?" he laughed.
"Hey there little man, this is your Uncle Emmett I owe you one" he whispered.
"Are you still sleepy?" I asked him
"Nah, I am use to getting like six hours which is plenty for me" he laughed
"And you?" he asked
"I am exhausted but I am having trouble sleeping" I yawned
"How long have you had trouble sleeping?" he asked
"About two months…." I said as I got into a sitting position.
"Let's go and get you some pickles" he laughed
I grabbed my peanut butter and slippers which I loved as we made our way, Emmett hastily packed up my belongings and within half an hour we arrived at the big house.
"You sure there is a big jar of pickles here?" I asked hesitantly.
"The question is do you have enough peanut butter for that big jar of pickles" he laughed as we entered the eerily quiet house and switched on the light to the most beautiful kitchen ever.
He pulled open the fridge and handed me the mother load of pickles while he loaded some cold cut meats and bread to make his own craving disappear.
I was dipping my pickle into the peanut butter and eating like a slob while thumper tried to separate my uterus and bladder from each other.
"Honey you had better calm down" I said almost sobbing.
"His that active?" I heard Carlisle ask from the kitchen door Esme standing next to him with tears in her eyes.
"He is definitely a strong little man. Bella was asleep next to me and this little man kicked me in the ribs till I woke up and rubbed her tummy" Emmett laughed, he had an easiness about him that ridded the room of tension.
"Can I?" Esme asked stepping into the kitchen
"Have at it" I laughed and she ran her hand over my belly
"Here" I said placing her hand right where thumper was kicking me.
"Oh my goodness" she laughed
"Do you mind?" Carlisle asked stepping forward
"Not at all, it actually calms him down so go ahead" I said putting his hand on my belly as thumper moved around.
"That is the Cullen genes" Carlisle laughed
"Damn Straight look at these babies" Emmett said showing us how big his legs are.
"Bella…." Alice said walking in and hugging me as thumper kicked her.
"HEY!" she moaned in mock horror.
"Can I join in?" Rose asked from the door.
"Sure can" I smiled and she did she came and tentatively rubbed my belly and thumper followed her hand.
"Jazz you have to feel this" Rose laughed as he placed his hand on my belly.
"Is the baby always this active?" He asked
"Yes, I don't really get to sleep much" I smiled
"What are you eating dear?" Esme asked
"Don't even get her started. We are here because there wasn't a store open that had pickles, so we actually came here for the pickles so her peanut butter doesn't get lonely" Emmett explained
"Pickles and peanut butter?" Edward asked from the doorway and I looked up at his stressed face. His hair was pointing in every direction from constantly running his hand through it, he was wearing a tight white shirt and boxers and each muscle in his chest looked it was next on my list of cravings.
"It is all I can stomach" I said hesitantly reaching for another pickle and peanut butter.
"You look tired" he said
"Yes I can't really sleep thumper is too active" I explained
"Little dude kicked my ribs in" Emmett laughed
"It is a boy?" Edward asked breathless
"Yes, and he is healthy as can be, Anthony recons he is going to be a very big baby" I explained
"As you can well see…." I said indicating to my belly.
Thumper kicked again and because my sleep shirt which was a maternity shirt was stretched to the max you could literally see him move around as my whole tummy would move.
"Would you like to feel?" I asked as I saw him watch my belly.
"Sure" he said stepping closer into the kitchen. I took his hand and placed it on my belly where thumper was kicking.
His hand was warm and felt good not like everyone else. Thumper kicked his hand repeatedly and Edward smiled at the feeling.
He moved away after a while and I slumped back to continue eating my peanut butter, when I yawned.
"You need to sleep Bella" Emmett said concerned.
"You try telling that to the little man having a battle with my internal organs" I smiled weakly.
"Come dear the guest room is ready at least try" Esme asked and I grabbed my jar of peanut butter and followed her up the stairs not even bothering to say goodnight to anyone I was tired and cranky and I deserved to be rude them all.
Okay I didn't but in that second I felt my reasons were justified.
"What the fuck happened Emmett?" I heard Edward yell at him as Rose and Alice followed me and Esme up the stairs.
"Here you go dear, Rose and Emmett is on your left and Jasper and Alice just next to them, and just in case you need me we are one floor up" Esme said as she pulled back the cover and I crawled under the warm blankets trying to get comfortable.
They all left me alone after a quick kiss goodnight and I was left in this dark cold empty room unable to sleep as my thumper kicked away, so I lay on the bed rubbing my tummy soothingly in the hopes that the little one would also need some rest.
I dozed off for about an hour and then tucked some pillows under my belly but there wasn't enough. I couldn't handle this shit seriously….
So I cried again…..for about an hour until I was too physically exhausted to stay awake any longer.
I must have slept soundlessly for about an hour before the sunlight filtered into the room I was about to doze off again when I heard people talking outside the room door.
"Shhh she needs to rest" I heard Edward moan at someone
"She was crying the whole fucken night you asshole!" Emmett spat at him
"You boys need to take this downstairs" Esme said and then there was silence,
How I wished I could just fall back asleep until I was rested, I moaned out in pain as I got off the bed and saw my cases in the doorway so I grabbed my bag and took a shower hoping the warmth would sooth my aching back, it didn't so I got out and started drying my hair for longer than necessary purely because I had bent over and I couldn't get back up.
I was hanging face to the floor when I saw Rose's feet slip into my view.
"Thank goodness" I breathed switching off the dryer and handing it to Rose.
"Bella?" she said grabbing it and tossing it on the counter.
"Could you maybe just help me up?" I tried laughing.
"Sure honey" she said as she helped me push my back straight.
"Thanks" I said grabbing a brush and hazardously brushing my hair.
"Calm down" Rose said taking the brush and combing through my hair for me.
I stayed silent while Rose combed my hair and I tried to conceal the dark circles under my eyes but they were red and puffy so I had no luck.
"I really missed you Bella, I wish I was there to support you through all this" Rose said tentatively.
"I am a horrid person Rose and I am sorry for the barricade I put up" I choked.
"Knock knock" Edward said from the door.
"Hi" I said not even meeting his gaze.
"I made you some tea"
"You did?" I asked amused
"Yes, Esme said coffee during pregnancy was frowned upon so I figured tea would be better" he said as he pushed the cup into my hand.
"Thanks so much I really appreciated it" I smiled remembering the baby diary I had been keeping where I stuck pictures of my ultra sounds in and wrote down funny cravings and diarized thumpers movements well as much as I could remember.
"I have something for you" I said moving to pick up my case and put it on the bed
"Wait, I'll do that" he said grabbing the case and putting it on the bed, I didn't want to say it out loud but thank fuck! That would have killed me…
"Here" I smiled as I handed him the book with uncertainty.
"What is this?" he asked
"I diarized my pregnancy with stuff that was important to me and I mean I just thought you would have liked to know how things went, there are ultra sound pictures in there from my doctor's visits, and such" I said blushing.
"Peanut?" he asked laughing.
"Yeah in the beginning I could hardly see him on the screen so I called him peanut but then he got so big and he is killing me so I call him the thumper" I smiled
"Thank you, for the book" he smiled as he left me in the room to drink my tea.
"Are you hungry?" Rose asked?
"Only if the kitchen is packing captain crunch and honey" I laughed
"Lets go and get you fed" Rose smiled
We got into the kitchen and I was swept into Emmett's arms
"Careful Emmett" Carlisle scolded him.
"Sorry" he smiled
"So Bella needs captain crunch and honey?" Rose claimed
"We have that" Emmett said excitedly.
Then he grabbed a huge salad bowl filled the entire box of captain crunch in there with a whole jar of honey.
"Do I look like a beached whale?" I asked
"No but you eating for two" he said as he gave me a spoon.
"You sure a spoon will suffice? You don't think I might need a shovel?" I laughed
"Here I will help" he said taking a seat next to me and digging.
"I kind of like this" He smiled as he bumped shoulders with me.
I was mentally making plans to go and see a doctor but I had not indication of any good ones so I would need too ask around, and I needed to figure out where I stood with Edward, because I would need to shake a leg in getting some stuff together for the baby.
"What are your plans are you going back after thanksgiving?" Esme asked
"I don't know yet, I have been put on early leave because I was getting much bigger than they expected" I said
"Do you have the baby room set up yet?" Alice asked
"I….just…waited…." I stammered but decided that I wasn't ready so I got up and left the kitchen.