Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 11: Choose Your Future

She watched as future-Morgana and Mordred walked over to Arthur. They crouched by his side. Morgana spoke to Arthur as he died, her face full of a twisted joy. She took her hood off and talked to Arthur as he died. Merlin shut down the moment he saw Arthur. He turned to Morgana, tears streaming down his face. He didn't fight her when she used her magic to kill him. The Morgana of the future laughed as Merlin gasped for breath because she cut off his air. For the first time, Morgana was happy she couldn't hear what was happening. She didn't know if she could have handled listening to the choking sounds Merlin would have made.

That was her breaking point. Morgana was gasping for breath in the present. She had long ago moved past hysterical sobbing. Part of her was aware that Merlin's chest was pressed against her back and he had his arms wrapped around her as if he were trying to hold her together. There was no holding her together. Not after what she had seen. Not after what she was going to do. She didn't want to see anymore, but she couldn't look away. She needed to know everything.

When he finally died, a look of peace spreading over his face, she walked away without another word. The smile on her face was malicious and victorious.

Morgana didn't know what she had won, but she never wanted it. She threw the crystal, not caring where it landed. She heard an inhumane sound and it took her a long time to realize that she was making that sound. She had told Merlin she wanted to know what was coming, but she would much rather have lived, completely oblivious to the person she would become.

After several more minutes had passed, she became aware of someone calling her name. "Morgana," Merlin said over and over and over again. "Morgana, it's okay. You're okay."

Morgana didn't have the strength to speak yet. Instead she cried. And she cried. And she cried. No matter what she tried, she couldn't stop. She felt as if part of herself had died. The part of her that held all things good and right was gone.

Morgana didn't know how much time passed before something broke through the haze she was in. "Morgana, that doesn't need to be you," Merlin told her. "That doesn't need to be you. I don't believe that will be you. You can fight it. You can be good and loving and kind-hearted. You can be you."

Morgana looked at him. It had to have been hours since she first started crying. Her head was throbbing the way it only does when you have a good cry. "I'm sorry," Morgana whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay," Merlin told her. Morgana was aware of his warm lips against her forehead. "It's okay."

"No it's not," Morgana said. "I killed you!" The sobs returned as Morgana remembered watching herself kill Merlin. It was like she ripped out part of her own heart and didn't even care. "I helped Mordred kill Arthur. So many men died because of me! Evil doesn't even begin to describe what I was."

"That's not you," Merlin told her. He grabbed her face, holding it in front of him. "This is you. The Morgana that is kind and loyal and compassionate. The Morgana that would rather die than see her friends die. The Morgana that would rather suffer than see others suffer. That Morgana is you, not the Morgana of the future. What you saw will only come to pass if you let it."

"How can that not be me?" Morgana asked. Merlin looked at her. It hurt him so much to see her in so much pain.

"You have to not let it be you," Merlin whispered. "You have to be stronger than your destiny. I can't tell you how to do that. It's your decision and your decision alone."

Morgana closed her eyes. She would be giving up her only real family. Was it worth it? Morgana opened her eyes to see Merlin crouching before her, lending her his own strength. She looked at Gaius. He had been kind to her ever since she was a child. She thought about Gwen who was her best friend in Camelot.

Merlin was right. They are her family. "I'm going to tell Morgause no," Morgana whispered. "I'm going to stay here with you."

Merlin glanced to the side where Morgana had thrown the crystal. He saw the image in the crystal change. It had been full of darkness and that darkness had faded. "Look," he whispered.

Morgana looked to where Merlin had pointed. "I don't want to see anymore," she told him.

"Maybe you do," Merlin said. He stood up and picked up the crystal. A huge smile spread across his face when he looked at it. "Look."

Reluctantly Morgana made her way to her feet and walked towards Merlin. She looked at the crystal and that's all it took for her to begin crying again. She only looked at it for a moment, but that was enough.

"That's it?" She asked. "That's all it took?"

"One decision is enough to change your destiny," Merlin told her. He was staring at the crystal with amazement. He hadn't realized that the future worked like that, but it made so much sense. Every decision they make defined who they were. Morgana just changed her future when she changed her midn.

"I can't believe it," Morgana said. She didn't look back at the crystal. She wanted her new future to be a surprise.

Merlin twisted so he was facing her. "Morgana Le Fey," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," Morgana said, her face shining with tears. For a moment, they forgot about Gaius. They allowed their relief to fill them.

Merlin leaned down and crushed his lips to hers. In that moment, she wasn't the king's ward, he wasn't a warlock, they hadn't just seen the darkest future imaginable, and they weren't standing right in front of Gaius.

In that moment it was just Morgana and Merlin. And they rather liked it that way.

Gaius coughed uncomfortably. It was hardly proper for a man and woman to kiss like that in front of another person. Gaius would never be able to unsee that.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said. "I'm just so happy."

"As am I," Morgana said, resting her head on Merlin's shoulder.

"What did you see?" Gaius asked. "What has put you in such a fine mood?"

"We saw our wedding day," Merlin whispered. His heart was swelling with joy. They didn't know when it would happen. It would be far, far in the future when Uther wasn't king anymore. It would be far in the future when Arthur respected their relationship enough to marry them. It would be far in the future when Merlin and Morgana were ready to wed. For now, it was enough to have that image in their heads.