"This is a bad idea."
"What are you talking about? This plan's pure genius,' Santana refuted as she tugged at Dave's apron.
"Hey, stop it," he swatted her away. If Dave wondered why he was in the kitchen at Breadstix about to make a fool of himself, he'd blame Santana and his supposed-to-be best friend who had no problem chuckling his brains out at his friend's current apparel.
"Guh, why do I have to do this again?" Dave asked for the fourth time that evening.
Santana sighed and went over the plan with him once more. "Kurt told you his next date with Blaine was here, right?" Dave nodded. "So you're going to be their waiter. You see, Kurt can stomach Blaine's terrible personality because he's only rude to him. However, if he sees Blaine being rude to someone else for a change…" Santana drawled out for emphasis, gesturing towards him, "then Kurt's good-nature or whatever will kick in and he'll stand up for you."
"How'd you even get me this job so quickly?" Dave asked curiously.
"My cousin's screwing the manager," Santana said off-handedly. "Azimio, go check to see if Lover-boy and his pet hobbit are here yet."
"What's the magic woooord?" Azimio sing-songed.
Santana scowled at the football player. The little Latina was half his size, but she still kind of sent a chill running down his back. And not the good kind. "Alright, alright," he put his hands up in defeat.
"That's what I thought."
When Azimio came back, he announced to the others that, "The Gays are in the building."
Santana grinned. "Alright. Now Dave, remember, provoke him!" she reminded him as she shoved him out the kitchen door into the restaurant full of people. Dave was convinced that he would have unintentionally done so even if it was not all a part of the plan. He took a deep breath and began the walk to the couple's table. Even as he approached them, his heart sank. He wanted more than anything to be the person on the other side of the table from Kurt, staring into those radiant eyes, listening to his brilliant wit, saying just about anything just to hear his amazing laugh. Alright, that's it. It's game time.
"Welcome to Breadstix. My name is Dave and I'll be your server tonight," Dave said cheekily though they obviously knew exactly who he was.
"David!" Kurt exclaimed sounding pleasantly surprised.
"What is he doing here?" Blaine asked with disgust.
"I..uh…I work here now. It's my first night," Dave responded, leaving out the part about it also probably being his last.
"Oh, that's great! And I guess you're our waiter. What are the chances?!" Kurt said with a wide smile on his face.
"Yeah, what are the chances?" Blaine said without a trace of the excitement Kurt had when he had done so. Dave wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond to that and if he was, what that response should even be.
"Well, congratulations on the new job," Kurt offered to break the tension.
"Thanks, I really…" Dave started before Blaine interrupted him.
"Well, if we're done chatting, I'd like to order. I'll have the salmon."
"Alright, got it," Dave said as he wrote the order down on his notepad.
"Not so fast, Chubby," Blaine stopped him from moving onto Kurt. "I want extra cilantro, pepper on the side, don't you dare put any garlic on it, not too heavy on the lemon either, and if I find even one piece of little fish bone in my dish…" he said with disgust. Though he said this all in one breath, he still somehow managed to become even louder and more threatening-sounding with each syllable.
"Got it. No bones," Dave interrupted so as to not let the other boy get any more worked up than he already was. Someone's a little high maintenance. He wrote it all down and then turned to Kurt, "Right. Well, what are you having tonight?"
"I'll have the grilled chicken salad."
"Alright, one grilled chicken salad for the man sporting the new sweater," Dave said with a smile as he wrote down the much shorter order.
"You noticed?" Kurt said sounding even more surprised by this than he had been by Dave's presence at the restaurant.
"Yeah, of course." Dave spent quite a bit of time looking at Kurt and that sweater was definitely new. It hugged him in all the right places and matched his eyes perfectly. "You look great by the way. It really brings out the flecks of grey in your eyes which is great because you have really nice eyes." Kurt just smiled at the compliment, and Dave's breath hitched. Kurt always had a magnetic smile, but this one had something new, a certain fondness in them. Kurt stared into Dave's own eyes, and he had no choice but to stare back.
"Yeah, I noticed your sweater too," Blaine cut in, effectively ruining the moment.
"Oh, did you now?" Kurt questioned with a raise of his eyebrow.
"Yeah, totally. I was just so enamored by your new haircut to say anything about the sweater."
"I didn't get a new haircut," Kurt deadpanned.
"It must just be styled differently then."
"No, I've actually worn it this way for quite a while."
"New highlights?"
"Nope."
"Well, something's different about your hair."
"Riiight," Kurt said sardonically.
"Don't you have some serving to do or something?" Blaine snapped at Dave, suddenly tired of the attention he had attracted to himself.
"Yeah, right. I guess I'll be right back then," Dave said, addressing Kurt.
"Hurry back," Kurt said with a meek smile and a wave.
"Yeah, I hate cold food," Blaine mentioned as he bit into a breadstick.
Dave went back into the kitchen to retrieve their food. After he handed Azimio the order, Dave turned to Santana for help. "He's not cracking! Sure, he's gotten a little snarky, but not full out mean," Dave said hastily, sounding quite panicked.
"Amp it up then! Rile him up!" she told him.
"How?!"
"Figure it out!" She yelled as she pushed him back out the door with the food in his hand, the food she had instructed Azimio exactly how to prepare.
Dave arrived at the table and set their food down in front of them.
Blaine automatically dug in, barely acknowledging Dave.
"Mmmmm," Kurt hummed in anticipation. "Thank you, David. This looks delicious."
"You're more than welcome."
"What the hell is this?" Blaine asked nastily, punctuating each syllable with a pause.
"Uh…salmon?" Dave answered though it sounded a lot like a question. Only then did he notice the full fish skeleton that was hanging out of the young singer's mouth. Why did Dave get the feeling that this was Santana's doing?
"I told you…no fish bones…and what do you bring me?! A friggin fish skeleton!" Blaine began to hyperventilate from his anger.
"Relax baby. Relax," Kurt calmed Blaine. "Dave's going to bring you another one. Right Dave?"
"Yes of course." Dave got himself the heck out of there.
"What happened?" Santana asked him eagerly when he got back into the kitchen.
"What do you think happened?! He started freaking out!"
"Yes! So he blew up at you?"
"No, when I left, he was just breathing really heavily."
"Ugh! We're thinking too small," she thought aloud as she began rubbing her temples. "How do you break a self-obsessed diva?"
"Santana, I'm starting to think this wasn't such a good idea."
"Do you want to get with Pretty Pony or don't you?!"
"Of course I do! But that's obviously never going now happen, now is it?!" a little more seriously than Santana was prepared for.
"But…"
"No Santana! Just no. It's hopeless. Kurt will never break up with Blaine!" Dave finished, sounding defeated. "Z?"
"Yeah man?" Azimio said putting a hand on his pal's back.
"Can you make another salmon? You know, one without the skeletal system still in it?"
"Yeah sure man," Azimio said, looking sad due to his best friend's apparent resignation.
"Look guys, thanks for everything you did but it obviously just wasn't meant to be," Dave said with a bitter smile. He took the new salmon and took it to the couple's table.
"Thank you David," Kurt said.
"Thank you David," Blaine said mockingly. Kurt hit him on the chest.
"Ow!"
"Be nice," Kurt warned. "It wasn't David's fault the kitchen screwed up your order."
"Yeah whatever," Blaine conceded reluctantly.
"I'll be back later to see if you need anything," Dave told them and walked away. Kurt couldn't explain it but there was a certain sadness in the other boy's eyes that wasn't there before. He tried to shrug it off and give his boyfriend his attention, but Blaine had launched into another conversation about how he used to be the star of the Warblers and therefore should be showcased more prominently in the New Directions. Even more unsettling than the fact that he wasn't looking forward to spending the night in the company of his boyfriend was the fact that he found himself wishing he was in the company of a certain waiter instead.
Dave went to the bathroom and washed his face. He looked at himself in the mirror and surprisingly enough, he liked what he saw. He used to see a guy who let himself become a reflection of what other people wanted to see. However, now, he saw someone who wasn't afraid to go after what he wants. He knows now that no matter what happens, he deserves to be happy just as much as anyone else. He couldn't help but smile at that.