Babygirl – AHHH! Contamination! Dear sweet child! Avert your gaze! No no, I'm just joking. Glad you liked it. When I wrote it at the time in my notebook, it was my first lemon, but I've had plenty of practice since then and I'm happy with the way it came out.
Some Slut – O.O it was supposed to be soft because I know I have younger readers and I'm not really into hardcore lemons. Not yet at least.
Yuna (FFX) – Oh yeah! You're most welcome. Thanks a lot for reviewing!
Huge – LOVE YOU!
? – Ack… no monnies? That sucks majorly. I'm uh, well, there's been some stuff coming up which I guess is why this took so long to finish. I'm going to be a student again in like… three days. And I have so much to do. I have books to read! OH NO!
Charming Woman – yeah sorry about the length. Bwahahaha. You defiantely have it this time and it's amazing isn't it that I decided to cut this chapter in half? There was four more written pages (front/back) in my notebook. I figured it would take too long and BE too long.
Cathy Mark – Hee hee. Thanks. I'm glad you enjoy it.
Streetwise Girl – Glad I didn't freek you out. Haha. I did try and tone it down for you though. Not that it was really all that hard core in my notebook either. Thanks for venturing into it.
Wood Worm – Haha. Smelling Salts! HURRY! Thanks. I'm glad you liked it!
Mischievous Lass – Bwahahahaha. Thanks.

Sorry for the delay with the story. I sincerely apologize. There's been a lot happening. I can almost garauntee that the next chapter will have the same delay as this one unless things get better. Apologies again. I will try my hardest. I think the reason this one was so slow was because in my notebook this chapter was about eleven pages front and back. And I write tiny folks. Smaller than size ten font on word. Anyway, I split this chapter in two and I am deleting a negligible chapter later on. Dont worry. If I didn't like it, you wouldn't either. Anyway, the next chapter will be a little shorter than this one. Er. rambling. Here.

Chapter Eleven – Her Last Secret

In Reality…

Sojiro woke up slowly, coming out of his hazy sleep at a snail's pace as the sun from outside shone brightly on his face. Yasue was sleeping soundly in his arms, stomach pushing up against his arms slightly as she inhaled and retreating as she exhaled. Her soft scent of flowers filled the room and wrapped around her slender body in a tight little fragrant blanket. The breath from her parted lips grazed his neck softly as she slept. The body against him had lost the heat from the night before and he pulled the blanket tightly around them, not wanting her to be in the least bit cold. Better now for her to be hot than to be even just a tiny amount cold. Unfortunately, in his exaggerated care he woke her and her green eyes, now smoldered compared to just a few hours ago, looked up at him lethargically.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he said quietly. She just stared at him, not quite registering his words and not even halfway awake. Then she smiled and closed her eyes again. She pushed herself into him, bare legs curled up against his stomach as she crunched into a ball. The black kimono had crumpled beneath them, wrinkling. The other kimono she had been wearing was thrown across the room to the wall, bunched into a heap. Even with the covers on top of him he felt naked and exposed, like he was thrown out onto the streets and shown for what he really was. Without his clothes he felt like Yasue would be able to see the killer inside of him because she was already through one of his barriers. If he just reached over a little bit he would be able to grab both his gi and his shirt, but the hakama was lost under the tangle of legs beneath the blanket.

With a quick look to Yasue he slipped out of her hands and began dressing himself quickly, not wanting her to wake up and see him as he was. When he was done he looked back at Yasue and found himself blushing. She was revealed as well. A deep regret filled him seeing her there innocently sleeping even after the horrible thing he had done to her. Now there was no saying she was pure because she wasn't. She had had him inside her, touching her, kissing her; there was no denying that he had contaminated her. She was… stained.

He grabbed her previously discarded kimono from the wall and picking her up from her position in the bed, averting his eyes from her body and trying his best to dress her and let her sleep as he blindly tried to accomplish his task. He figured Yasue should probably get her sleep. She wasn't used to exerting so much energy like he was. "Good morning Sojiro," she mumbled, leaning foreword and clumsily kissing him. For a moment he thought perhaps she had woken up, but she closed her eyes again and fell asleep in his lap.

Someone to shed light on your dark world.

So Yasue would show him a world he never knew? It's true, he thought, she already had, but he didn't understand one bit of it. Was he supposed to feel this way after making love? It confused him immensely, yet he felt a desire to do it again, a strange tingling in his stomach and his fingers that urged him to strip Yasue right out of her kimono, but he resisted, finding the thoughts disgusted him somewhat. He wasn't that kind of person was he? And what kind of person would that make him if he acted on impulse and did what his brain told him? Still, he already felt guilty enough having taken Yasue once, he wasn't ready for the feeling to be doubled yet.

Sojiro smiled and looked down at Yasue, brushing a piece of her hair away from her eyelids. He had been so preoccupied with protecting Yasue that he hadn't had much of a chance to think of that truth he was searching for. Then again he wasn't sure if it bothered him much or not.

Sojiro grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around Yasue's back, making sure he feet were covered and her hands were safely tucked underneath. He had to leave eventually to go see Yoshi and he hoped that Yasue would wake up before then so he could say goodbye. Going out might not have been the best idea at the moment. If conditions were different he would have taken her with him, but it was cold and she was already risking sickness every time she went out. Plus it would only be a little while and he would get back as soon as he could. The Gundashi wouldn't have enough time to get to her.

Still, the threat was real to both of them now. Even leaving her alone for a little while could mean Yasue's death and he no longer felt safe about her being with someone else's company for protection. If the Gundashi had an outside source, it had to be someone close to Yasue, someone who would be able to disclose important information, valuable information. Still going after Yasue for her income at the broken store seemed a little… extreme. It hadn't been that much to begin with and wouldn't she have used some of it by now especially if the shop still wasn't back in order. Why would they put up such a fight? What if they had come last night?

His stomach curled uncomfortably as he gazed at his sword abandoned by the door. If he had needed it, even his Shukuchi wouldn't have gotten him to that door fast enough. Plus, with his newly realized emotions, fighting naked would have been a sever disadvantage. Sojiro looked at Yasue, suddenly feeling stupid. He had put her in so much danger last night because he couldn't control himself. He couldn't, no, he wouldn't let that happen again. Yasue was the most important thing to him right now. Loosing her would be loosing himself.

And he didn't want to loose himself again.

"Sojiro!"

The shoji was thrown open loudly to reveal a panic stricken Yoshi. "Sojiro! We've gotten word from the Gundashi!" he yelled, waking Yasue. She lifted her and blinked sleepily, using her fist to try and wake herself. Yoshi glanced at her, but otherwise ignored her presence in the room. "They want a map, Sojiro. She's got a map to their money. They said if she hands it over they'll let her go," Yoshi said excitedly, like the matter would relieve a burden upon his shoulders instead of the couple he screamed at.

"But what about Sojiro?" Yasue piped in, pushing herself up into a sitting position and turning towards Yoshi. He looked down at her and cleared his throat, tugging on his shirt and looking at the ground. Yasue looked down at her chest that lay slightly exposed and squeaked out in surprise and adjusted herself, turning back to face Sojiro, her face redder than the sun. "Did they say anything about letting Sojiro go?"

"Um… no, but if you give back the map then he won't have to worry about protecting you when he fights. They promised to keep their hands off of ya if you hand it over."

"I can't," Yasue mumbled, bowing her head.

"Didja loose it?"

"Do you know how much money is in there?" she yelled indignantly, hands fisted in her lap. Yoshi and Sojiro just stared at her in astonishment.

"Miss Yasue, not is not the time to be greedy," Sojiro whispered in awe, looking down at her in a disapproving way. She bit her lip and frowned.

"I'm not! I have the map for a reason. The Gundashi all swore allegiance to one leader who they thought was just and that leader was my father. When he died he gave me the map and told me to make my decision."

Yoshi and Sojiro gazed at her for a moment, soaking in the information. The young Tenken found that his ability to speak had been completely stripped and all he could do was look at her with shocked eyes. Yoshi spoke first.

"What decision?" he asked quietly, eyes narrowed in renewed suspicion.

"Whether to show the Gundashi members the map or to run. I was sixteen when he left me and the Gundashi had become my brothers and sisters. They trusted me as I trusted them, but when they told me of their plans I couldn't follow through. They wanted to be the strongest in all Japan. I ran in hid in this town shortly after, staying with Mitsumei until I was old enough to have my own shop."

"Why did you run?" Yoshi asked, voice still soft in amazement. Yasue's eyes began to glisten with tears and she looked up at him sadly.

"To be considered the strongest, you must have an unsurpassable skill and weapon. What we gained in skill, we lacked in weapon. Our swords and arrows were no longer considered the most deadly. They wanted guns. My father's fortune was ample enough to supply arms to every member of the Gundashi and bullet enough to take out twenty police squads. My father's name would be remembered by brutality and bloodshed. I couldn't let them go through with it," she sobbed, grabbing Sojiro's gi and pulling it into her face.

"So if the Gundashi get the money they'll become the most lethal and feared in all of Japan! Where is the map?" Yoshi inquired anxiously. Yasue deflated into Sojiro and continued crying, shaking her head into his stomach.

"Yoshi…" Sojiro cut in, giving his friend a halting look. "That's enough. The less people who know of the maps location, the more protected the secret is," Sojiro paused, closing his eyes. "So you were a member of the Gundashi?"

Yasue twitched and nodded, looking up at him in shame. She would have told him if she had thought he wouldn't walk away. But she didn't know Sojiro as well as she liked to let on and what he would have thought of her had he found out was going to be a surprise. "Are you upset that I didn't tell you?" she asked. Sojiro shook his head and looked over at Yoshi who stood uncomfortably by the shoji as he tried to ignore the two.

"Have we discovered who the outside source is yet?" Sojiro asked with a flat voice. Yoshi bowed his head and shook it. Figured. Obviously if the person was able to give up Yasue, they ought to be pretty good at hiding it. In the Juppongatana, such duplicity had not existed. If a member hated another, it was openly known. Even Ousie knew enough that plotting outside of the group would result in his immediate extermination. "There is a man who is waiting for me at the bridge. Tell him I won't be able to show up tonight and that I am sorry for leaving him in the cold. Please also tell him that Himura Kenshin has been pulled to the top of the list," Sojiro added, nodding to Yoshi who walked out of the room almost immediately. "So they're finally coming…"

Yasue averted her eyes in shame. "I'm sorry Sojiro. I'm sorry that I couldn't make this easier for you."

"You can't and I understand. I thought that there was a greater reason for them coming for you. I didn't think getting revenge would be enough for them to track you so mercilessly."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Yasue asked, staring hard at the floor between them. If Sojiro had suspected something all along, why wouldn't he have voiced his suspicions?

"What point was there? Even now, knowing why they want to come after you doesn't benefit me at all, really," Sojiro frowned. It would be easier on him if Yasue was assured her safety, but if the Gundashi threat were true, then it was even more hazardous to get her off the hook then he'd thought. He'd have to deal with them no matter what, but Yasue… she must be protected at all costs.

Sojiro smiled to himself and pushed Yasue up by her shoulders so she was looking at him. "You don't have to worry Miss Yasue. They won't get the map and they won't get you. I won't let that happen," he said. Yasue reached up and cupped his face in her hands, tears once again forming by the sides of her eyes as she shook her head sadly.

"Sojiro, if they get one they get the other. Carrying around a treasure map isn't safe so I memorized what I needed to know and disposed of it, burned it. So… there is no map, just me." She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, taking a deep breath and steadying herself. There wasn't any use crying about it. If she had thought she could hide the secret from someone like Sojiro then she would have been a fool. Eventually she had planned to tell him, but not in a situation like this.

Sojiro moved his hands from her shoulders to her neck, placing his thumbs right under her jaw and smiling. "Then I won't let them get you. I won't leave you until this is over. I promise you that nothing will hurt you while you are under my protection." Sojiro slowly wiped a tear away with his finger, letting it run down the back of his hand and fall into her kimono. It was snowing again outside, he could see it through the shoji Yoshi had left open. The soft white fluff was drifting up onto the porch, hugging close to the wooden pillars. At least it wasn't windy, though the chill of winter was still creeping into the room rather quickly.

Yasue shivered, letting her ands fall from his face and into Sojiro's lap, resting her head by his shoulder. "Are you cold Miss Yasue? Would you like a blanket?" Sojiro whispered. She nodded and reached behind her, grabbing the blanket from the bed and pulling it around the both of them. She pushed herself up into Sojiro's lap, keeping their heat together inside of the cotton blanket. "Are you hungry?"

"A little bit, but I don't want to eat right now," she said, closing the blanket tightly around them. "I just want to sit with you like this for a while. If you don't mind."

Sojiro adjusted himself on the floor, unfolding his legs from under him and sitting cross-legged with Yasue inside. "We can eat later, but we shouldn't wait too long. You didn't eat last night," he said, nodding to the abandoned package of Shizokuma's cooking. Yasue just closed her eyes against Sojiro and sighed, her free hand slipping into his gi and resting on his shirt. "You can't get any better if you don't have the energy," Sojiro said quietly. If he were just a little closer to the door he would be able to grab it and eat it right where he sat, but it was out of his grasp.

"What are you thinking about?" Yasue asked, turning in his gi so her face was in his neck. Sojiro eyes the food longingly and looked down at Yasue, swallowing hard.

"I'm thinking about food," Sojiro chuckled, propping Yasue up. "I'm not really all that complicated Miss Yasue. Let's eat now. I don't think I can wait too much longer," he said, pushing the bewildered Yasue off of his lap and onto the floor. He crawled sideways and grabbed the small box of food, dragging it over to him. When his hands touched the white paper box, he couldn't help but feel a little excited. With yesterday's activities and the fact that dinner hadn't been eaten, he was ready to eat. "I'll go get some wood for the fire. You stay here and try and keep warm in that blanket." Sojiro left the room, closing the shoji with a small grin.

Once he left, Yasue suddenly felt it. The small musty room suddenly felt empty. Perhaps she had grown so accustomed to Sojiro's presence that being without made her feel alone, but the walls around her opened, stretching so far away in the distance she couldn't even see them. Then she was stuck in the middle of the floor, the only thing to grab onto was the blanket around her shoulders and she clutched it tightly lest it fly away into the distance like the rest of her surroundings. She resisted the urge to call out to Sojiro, knowing he would come back soon, that he hadn't left, just for a minute to retrieve some wood. She was just exaggerating.

Had Sojiro been gone long? She hadn't been keeping track. Did something happen while he was out there? She hadn't seen him take his sword. What if the Gundashi showed up and found him without a weapon? What would he do? Wait. Wait just a little longer. She closed her eyes and began counting, thinking it would help her stomach to unwind, that it would help the walls creep back closer to her.

"Nine, ten, eleven."

We must be the strongest. Do you agree?

"Seventeen, eighteen."

Yes, that's our goal.

"Twenty one, twenty two."

I know how to achieve it. With that map we can do it. I know it!

"Thirty one, thirty two."

How?

"Thirty five, thirty six."

With guns.

"F-forty, f-f-forty on-ne."

Yasue gasped for air, gripping her stomach as fear clenched it in it's skeletal grasp. Was she even in the room anymore? Open you eyes, open them and find out.

Guns guns guns!

No Mikazu! No guns! Where's the floor? Where did it go? Please understand. How can we be skilled with guns? A gun requires no skill. You merely point and shoot. The Gundashi will not be degraded to that! Breathe Yasue!

"Yasue! Wake up!"

Yasue opened her eyes and looked at Sojiro, immediately sitting up and grabbing his face. "What's wrong?" she asked quickly, looking at his pale face. His eyes seemed to shrink and he pushed her back by her shoulders, staring at her incredulously. Then his head began to shake so slowly it was almost unnoticeable.

"Miss Yasue…it is I who should be asking you that question," he whispered. Yasue swallowed and looked around the room silently, eyes following the trail of mossy green wood back to the open door. She could feel the winter air creeping in and hiding quietly by the walls. His grip loosened in relief and he sighed, anxious concerned expression melting to reveal the calm and unreadable smile beneath it. It was always hiding under there it seemed. "As long as you're feeling better," he shrugged, rubbing her arm lightly before standing up. "I'll make a fire," he uttered happily, beginning to walk away.

"Wait!" she yelled quickly, falling foreword onto her stomach, arms outstretched, two fingers caught in the soft cotton fabric of Sojiro's hakama. He stopped and looked down at her in surprise, brow raised, soft blue eyes looking strangely at her tangled fingers. "Uh… I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that," she claimed sheepishly, retracting her hand. The shoji was shut and the ice demons that had crept inside silently melted away as the fire's heat drifted outward. "What did Shizokuma make us?"

Sojiro sat up and leaned away from the fire and frowned. "I didn't ask her. You could check, but I'm figuring because I didn't pay for it that it's just a few leftovers she had in her place. I wouldn't expect anything fancy." Sojiro chuckled a little, eyes red from the flames. Even with that, he still looked like a child, tranquil and serene by the fire.

Yasue crawled out from under the blanket, grasping the box in her hands and sliding the top off to inspect the contents inside. Considering it had been tripped over twice, the contents inside looked okay. The ramen below the rice balls had leaked a little, but other than that, everything was fine. "You were right. It's nothing fancy. Just some rice balls and a bit of ramen. How nice of Shizokuma to give us this," Yasue thought aloud, her voice flat. Sure it was nice of Shizokuma, but she'd be lying if she said she was happy with her options. It'd been a long time since she'd treated herself to something nice like beef pot stew. Sojiro turned his head and smiled at her.

"You act as though you're grateful, but you don't sound it Miss Yasue."

"There's nothing wrong with it."

Sojiro lifted his hands and warmed them with the fire. "Come over her and warm yourself up. I'll cook up the food for you. I want you to rest in front of the fire for right now," he said, getting up and walking over to her. She clutched the wooden box in a death grip as Sojiro squatted down next to her, smiling that frightening vacant smile. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, placing a hand on her back. Yasue's hands tightened around the box and she swallowed. Don't look at the smile, don't look at the smile, don't look at the smile…

Her eyes slowly turned upwards and looked at the smile. Instantly her body turned to ice and her mind was hypnotized. She put the box gently on the ground, eyes still pinned to the small curve of his lips, and then jumped on him, both of her hands slapped over his mouth to cover it. They both feel backwards, Sojiro enduring the impact. He closed his eyes as the fall shot a sharp pang throughout his body, but it was fleeting. He tried complaining, but his words were muffled by her hands.

"Don't do that," she mumbled, picked her head up off of his chest and looking at him. He frowned, but it only showed in his eyes.

"Won' oo' wa?" Sojiro asked, trying to pry her hands off of his mouth. Saying he was flustered by her spontaneous movements would have been an understatement.

"You can't smile like that," she yelled, letting her hands free his mouth and instead plopping them down on either side of his head. He blinked at her for a moment, grabbing her wrists and squeezing them before bursting out into a fit of laughter. "It's not funny Sojiro!"

"I'm sorry Miss Yasue, but I'm failing to understand how it is that I frighten you when I smile. Perhaps I should just not do it then? How exactly am I smiling?" he asked, lips spread into a wide grin, obviously still amused by his situation. Yasue frowned and sat up, putting all her weight on Sojiro's stomach in frustration. How could he find this situation so amusing? Wasn't she overtly frightened?

"When you smile you're supposed to feel it."

"I feel you on my stomach right now," Sojiro grunted, pushing back on her knees in hopes she would get up, but there wasn't much he could do to get her off without hurting her.

"When you smile 'that way' you're smiling without any emotion whatsoever. You have to feel it, Sojiro. It's like an unwritten rule."

"I really feel you on my stomach."

"And you can smile, it's just you have to be happy. Smile when you're happy."

"Miss Yasue. I'm having trouble breathing. I think you're sitting on my lungs," he wheezed, taking a deep breath when Yasue lifted herself up to her knees. "So I can't smile?" Sojiro stared at her blankly, not sure what to do since he couldn't put on his usual face.

"You just can't smile like that."

"Why not?"

"It scares me," she whispered. Sojiro blinked again and grinned a moment before covering his mouth with both his hands. "You think it's funny don't you?" Yasue asked, frowning. Sojiro's eyes crinkled in amusement.

"A little maybe," he mumbled out through his hands. The pressure was put back on his stomach and the hands that had covered his innocent little smile moved to her waist and pushed hard, but couldn't even budge her a little. "Alright! Alright! It's not funny! I'll try not to smile, I promise!"

Then suddenly he was in a black curtain as Yasue's hair feel around him, her elbows by his ears as she leaned down into him and studied his face. "Your smile is cute, but it has to have emotion Sojiro." Her lips brushed against his neck, working her way up to his jaw line and then his mouth.

They lay there with each other, oblivious to the two visitors running up the path with news neither of them would be too happy to hear.

Holy shamolie! That took a long time just to scroll through! Anyway, I'm almost done with my first notebook with this story. There's a whole nother half notebook with story in it. So, don't worry, this doesn't end anytime soon sigh. Plus, right after this one I have another ready to go. It's a yaoi fic waves finger. Do do do, anyway, I will most certainly try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible. OH yeah.

The in house fireplace thing. I saw it in Samurai X when Kenshin and Tomoe hid away, but I didn't know what it was called. SO... ya.