Alistair/f!Brosca, Wanted Dead or Alive
"You're a criminal!"
Bellara Brosca looked at her ex-boyfriend as though he were an idiot and not, say, the King of Ferelden. "Well, you broke up with me. What did you expect me to do?"
"Not take up a life of crime! Maker's breath, Bell, you're the hero of Ferelden! Why on Earth would you become a jewel thief?"
The dwarf shrugged. "Eh, I was bored."
Alistair hit his head with his palm. "You—--you were bored. You are wanted dead or alive in five different countries because you were bored?"
Bellara blinked. "Five countries? Really? That's a new record!"
"That's not something to be proud of!"
"Oh, cheer up, mate." She smiled, teasing him lightly. "If this whole being King business doesn't work out for you, you're more than welcome to join my crime team."
Alistair looked over the wanted poster in agony. "I think you've stolen more than what's in Ferelden's treasury right now."
She patted his shoulder with a smile. "Well, think of it this way: at least I haven't stolen from you?"
"Oh yes. That makes things look so much better."
She kissed his cheek. "I thought it might."
Fact--I had waayyyy too much fun with this one