The Eyeless Devil (HiatusRewrite)

by angelum-tenebrarum

Born to unique circumstances, rescued from the streets as a child, and raised by the investigator who found him. He wants to find a place to belong in this world but he can't decide where. With the humans? With the ghouls? Does a monster like him even belong in this world? He doesn't even know what he is.

11. Devils do cry

Akira gave a tentative look towards the clock. Eleven thirty at night. Marcus was usually home by nine at the latest. Normally, she wouldn't worry. She knew her boy could take care of himself. This wouldn't be the first night he got home late. Like that time his arm was broken. She got that knock on the door close to midnight. Tonight was different however. Kureo was out there, probably still trying to hunt the Kakuja down with unusually strong determination. He had been content with stewing in his anger and contempt but something had happened to get him motivated to take down the Brit. Something he learned within the past few weeks. Something had convinced him that Marcus was more then a passive threat and was now a threat that required action. But what?

She had sent up the request for her father to be demoted and reassigned to the Cage. Just like she had told him she would. However, such requests take forever because despite there being regulations set by the UN for cruel and usual conduct against ghouls, no one follows it and no one reports it. Even if someone did, the request would never get filled and just collect dust, or get lost entirely on the way up. Her position in Arima's team allowed enough political leverage to get it moving, but the standard procedure takes up to three days for it to get where it needs to be for approval then another day to actually be approved then another three days for the orders to get passed down. That's a week. A week for Kureo to continue his war against Marcus. A week for something to go wrong.

Akira covered her mouth as she yawned. She looked down at the empty coffee cup in her hands. Since it was clear she wasn't going to get any decent sleep anyways she got up to pour herself another cup. She got up from her chair in the living room and walked to the kitchen. As she grabbed the coffee pot and started pouring its contents into her cup, there was a rapping sound against the sliding glass door to the patio. She set the pot down and looked. Marcus was there barely visible through the glass door thanks to the lamp she has on by her chair; the light reflecting off the window and hiding him partially. She was able to see he was in his human form and wearing his hunting pants but he held his mask in his hands by the strap. Most of the blood from his injuries had been washed off by the splashing water during his fight but there still was a few drying streaks. The most notable thing was the haunted look in his eyes.

Akira noticed the blood and rushed over immediately to open the door and let him in. Her voice was covered with worry as she exclaimed. "Marcus! What happened?!"

He slowly stepped forward till he was toe to toe with her. Then he lowered his head till it thumped against her shoulder. She could hear his quiet sobs as he cried into her chest dampening her tank top. "Forgive me."

She blinked. Stunned at his actions, he hasn't really cried since the day she tripped on that root. She held him close, caressing his hair comfortingly and whispered. "It's okay. It's all right. I'm here."

Marcus still continue to cry muttering his apology over and over again. Akira guided him inside and shut the sliding glass door before they caught a cold. Though he would probably be fine, she judged from the way his body seemed to be warmer than usual. The blonde slowly lowered them to the ground leaning against the love seat for back support. She wondered what in the hell happened to get her son like this. So broken down. She could tell something had been weighing down on him the whole way here from wherever he had come from and that he had only been able to keep it together long enough to get to her. Now all of it was flowing out uncontrollably like it had so many years ago. She let him. Waiting patiently and whisper consoling words to him and stroking his hair, like one would a child.

Eventually, the tears stopped and he was quiet leaning against her shoulder, eyes closed. He wasn't asleep, as evidenced by occasional sniffle. Akira waited another minute before asking softly. "What happened?

Marcus hesitated. Should he tell her? He wouldn't be able to handle it if she rejected him like Touka. Akira was probably the most important person in the world. She gave him everything. He would still be a street rat surviving on scraps, or dead if it wasn't for her. If she were to push him away out of hatred and fear right now. He wasn't too sure that he would be able to survive it. He wasn't too sure that he would want to. However, Akira was his Mom, she loved him irrevocably and unconditionally like he did her. She loved him even after knowing all the sin he had done and was doing. Would she be able to look past what he had done and love him still? Like the mother he thought she was? Could he bet on that? He could. That's what she had taught him family was. Sticking with each other till the end and keeping each other safe.

Marcus told her everything. From the moment he created the plan to blame some one else for Kureo's death to the moment he left that water way. He told her about the cage he had trapped Xeno in and it's destruction. He told her of the power had gained and it's potential cost. He had told her of the way Touka looked at him after she had learned his true identity. He told her everything. Unfiltered and uncensored.

A hurricane of emotions swirled up inside as Akira listened to this. Things had gone wrong, horrible wrong. She knew where too. When she told her father that she was going to put him in the Cage. She hadn't meant to incite him or push him past him limits. She didn't mean to make him so enraged where he was no longer capable of thinking rationally. She wasn't trying to put him in the Cage put of spite but to keep him safe! There has been a study that shows long term investigators start having psychological issues in their later years. They think like ghouls for so long they start acting like them. Minor cases are sociopathic behavior to full on psychopathic. Kureo had been showing those signs of deterioration and she wanted to keep him safe from that by putting him in the Cage. She had been planning on that. Now, she was the last bearer of the Mado name

He couldn't help but start crying again as the regret of letting Kureo die hit him again in his retelling. "What have I done? He was your last family and I let him die. I could've just knocked him unconscious and dragged him away from Touka so she wouldn't kill him. But I let him go, I allowed him to attack Hinami, I let Touka kill him. I might as well have slit his throat myself. And for what? Hinami's safe but Touka hates me, she'll tell the others who I am and I won't be allowed to go back. I've opened the door to a power that I don't know will cost me. I thought I could do some good for once instead of hurting people but I've only brought more pain to everyone I care about. I'm just a monster.

"No. No, you're not." Akira replied insistently, shaking her head. "You were just trying to protect your own, protect who you care about. Dad was going down a bad path. He had been for awhile. I just didn't see it till now. I had tried to get him off it but I may have only kept him there. It might have been too late. This may have been the only way it could have ended for him. Either way it wasn't your fault, not wholly at least. He couldn't stop when he needed to. Don't take all the blame on your shoulders."

The kakuja sat up and looked at her dismay. "But, even if that's so. What about Touka? What about me?"

"We'll figure it out together." She answered. "You said that Dad was my last family. You were wrong. You're family too. You're my son."

His eyes widened with contentment as they threatened to spill more tears that were of joy instead of sadness. "Okay, Mom."

Marcus has called her that thousands of times in the three quarters of a decade he has been with her. It was always out of the respect of the position she held over him. It was title for honoring her clothing him, feeding him, putting a roof over his head. He never thought about it but it really held no personal meaning for him despite what he had convinced himself of. It was just to acknowledge what she had done for him. When he said it thst night though it was personal. There was this quote from an old comic book movie he had found on a random google excursion. It went "Mother is the name for god on the lips and hearts of children." He always thought it meant that mother's were the creators of children. He now realized how woefully off the mark he was. A mother is everything to a child. Their whole life. It was also the other way around. There's no greater love that that of a mother's towards her child. He understood.

All his emotions towards Akira before was him trying to pay a debt. Doing as she said, trying not to hurt her, keeping her company. It was all for the sake of being respectful. That's what he thought love was for ten years. Now he realized that it was about caring for the wellbeing of the person you care about because of how it would feel to not have them there anymore, to live a life without them. It also meant being there for that person so they won't know that feeling of not having you there. He understood.

Akira saw the change in Marcus' eyes. She raised a hand and cupped his face soothingly. He held her hand to his face with his own and nuzzled against it like a cat. She spoke softly as she said, "Let's go to bed. We'll figure out in the morning. Okay, newt?"

Marcus had always despised that nickname but this time, it was quite comforting. "Alright."

For the first time in his life he felt human.

Kaneki sat in the lobby of Kanou general hospital. The hospital he was taken to after he was attacked by Rize. He was here for his two week check up. Just to make sure everything was working okay and all that. Which it had technically, the new organ had settled in perfectly to the point where it integrated it's inherent ghoul qualities into his system making him the half-breed he is at the same time. In retrospect though, it was a ghoul organ! Not human! So, whether or not the surgery was a success could go either way on that.

While he waited for his name to be called, the TV they had installed into the wall flashed to a news reporter who was a spritely young woman that stated. "In other news, today is the funeral of First class investigator Kureo who died tragically two weeks ago in an incursion with ghouls."

Kaneki heard this and put down his book to look at the TV. The news reporter. "The plans for a funeral began a week after his death when his body was finally released from CCG'S morgue where it was part of the investigation to find his killers. No evidence was found but the most likely killers are the ghouls b-rank 745: daughter, A-rank 413: Rabbit, and A-rank 426: Skull face."

The screen cut from the reporter to the wanted posted for Hinami, which had not changed from the last time Kaneki saw it, next to a full body sketch of Touka in her hunting outfit with mask included, and a similar one of Marcus. They were missing a lot of his scars and his mask didn't look right.

Then it cut to the wall of the waterway that Marcus had carved into and the reporter resumed her report. "It is also believed to be the work of a new and uprising ghoul gang known as Knightmare. There have been three other identical assaults on investigators in wards four and eleven that resulted in serious injury but no casualties. When the Chief of Division One Iwao Kuroiwa was asked what was being done about the new ghoul radical group, this was his response:"

The screen cut to a video of a stocky man with a square face, thick eyebrows that was the same color as his dark, short sweptback hair, with round dark eyes. He was standing at a podium out side the main office, wearing formal clothing like other investigators. He said in a stern tone. "We are looking into the new organization calling themselves Knightmare. What we know is that they are foreign based and well equipped. We have no clue as to where they are basing their operations but do know that when we do find them our answer to these renegade actions will be swift, strong and precise. That is all."

As the Division One chief stepped away the crowd of reporters started clamoring for one last question. The TV cut back to the reporter who said. "According to his statement it may mean that there may be a Ward Raid in the future. Ward Raids have been discussed, flyers and letters have been sent home listing the procedure but has yet to be done since it was implemented. Does this signal a change in the ongoing war with ghouls? Return to TGNN for our next topic: "Is the ghoul war escalating?" Tonight at 10:00."

Kaneki's attention was drawn back to his book as the news program ended with a lively tune. He wanted to read his book but his name got called and he was led into the checkup room.

Kanou walked in with a simple greeting and got to work. It was a simple follow up visit. Making sure everything was working properly, listening for any complaints, issues or new symptoms. The half-breed had plenty to say such as but not limited to him being a ghoul but admitting that could be bad. So he kept his mouth shut. The doctor had him partake in several tests to make sure everything was okay. The college student nearly lost it when the blood draw equipment came out but the needle went in perfectly fine without being stopped by his tough ghoul skin. Which was odd altogether but he rolled with it. The miniscule puncture wound was covered with cotton as the needle was pulled out conveniently concealing that fact that it healed near instantaneously.

Kanou set the blood filled vials and the needle on the tray they first came on and said. "It'll take a day or two to run the blood but from what I can tell it looks like there aren't any problems. You've been taking your medicine, right?"

"Yeah." Kaneki said hesitantly.

Kaneki had issues believing that. He had considered the possibility that despite his body being the way it was it could've been possible that he could still have human levels of RC. However, both Touka and Marcus shot that idea down like they were AA guns with their descriptions of how the high RC give ghouls their unique attributes and considering that the half-breed shows all the standard traits of a ghoul that idea just did not work. Even so, the tests wouldn't they show that he has the high level of Red Child cells. Actually, he had looked up the RC scan gates and there was some kind of small scale scanner that's about the size of a defibrillator machine that can do a quick scan of the RC count. It was nowhere in sight. Which could mean that Kanou knows about his ghoul nature and was hiding it. Rize was a ghoul which meant that the doctor would have had to have used specialized tools to get the organ. Maybe if she was mentioned…

"A-also," Kaneki stammered. "Were you able to get in touch with Rize's family?"

A forlorn look settled onto the doctor's face adding a few years to his features. "It seems that they had a nice funeral for her. They didn't want to talk to me, which is understandable. It's unfortunate but natural."

Since it was clear that he wasn't lying, Kaneki bowed his head apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." The human said dismissively. "Why don't you head on home? Come back in a month for another follow up."

"Okay."

Kaneki bowed respectively and left. Kanou watched him go and smirked knowingly. The half-breed caught a bus to Kamii university where he barely made it to his first class. It was a good thing that his classes didn't start till late in the morning otherwise he'd never make his classes. As he was sitting in his ancient literature class listening to his professor drone on and on but he wasn't really paying attention he was wondering about Rize and her family, and how they probably had a grudge against him.

Then Hide nudged him with his elbow and whispered. "They definitely have a grudge, huh?"

Kaneki snapped his head towards his fried in surprise and exclaimed. "Eh?"

The dirty blonde haired human rolled his eyes annoyingly. "Idiot. You didn't see the news? A ghoul investigator was killed! It's such an exceptional case, even Ogura is doing TV appearances. There have been ghoul specials every night at ten since that investigator guy died. Today's the same."

"Oh. Yeah. Crazy." The half-breed said slowly. Glad that his mind hadn't been read or something like that. "So, what's this about a grudge?"

"I made my own guess about the ghoul." Nagachika answered. "Look, a previous investigator had died a few days before this Mado guy did, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Why would a ghoul go to all that danger to kill not just one but two investigators? It seems like there was no intention of eating them and both of them were on the same case. So, it had to be for revenge or something like that. Don't you think?" The human finished with a question.

"Yeah, I guess." The half-breed replied slowly. 'I don't like where this going.'

"Here, this is a copy of the wanted poster." He reached into his bag and pulled out the wanted poster for Hinami. He pointed at the information at the bottom and stated. "Look at this."

The dark haired student read the section his friend was pointing to. " 'Wanted for attacking humans in vengeance for her mother's death…' This child killed an investigator?"

He made sure to sound surprised as to raise no suspicions. It seemed to have worked as Hideyoshi rested his cheek against the back of his hand and countered with. "Nah. I have a hunch that Rabbit and Daughter are two different ghouls. The CCG concluded that it was Daughter who killed those investigators based solely on that she was there when the mother was captured. The information is scattered in bits. They don't even have a portrait. They best they have is a vague description of her clothes and a general estimation of her age. It was something ridiculous too with like an eight year range. I think she immediately got away from that scene, like if the mother protected the daughter."

He started doodling cartoonish pictures to match his explanation. "If we assume that Daughter is Rabbit, then if she fought side by side with her mother, no, even by herself the Daughter would be strong enough to fight the investigators maybe win. If she had the will and the strength to kill two investigators then why didn't she do it when her mother was captured. Thinking that Rabbit is acting as an agent of revenge for Daughter or in cooperation with her makes a whole lot sense. Then there's that Skull face guy. He's a wild card. He was there both times Rabbit was. But he wasn't there for Daughter when her mom died. Now, it's easy to say that he must've been added on as a protective detail after the mother's death but ghouls have never had the right kind of organization for that and the few groups that do exist don't care for others to issue a guard detail. So why was he there?

"I know a guy who knows a guy that is a radical against the CCG stating that their humane methods aren't humane. He claims to have a recording of both the capture of the mother, and the first appearance of Rabbit and Skull Face. Won't say how but he says that Rabbit attacked a pair of local investigators that were on this case and killed one. Then the two main office guys showed up and started kicking Rabbit's ass. She gave them a run for their money though using her ghoul claw and everything. Then just as she was about to lose Skull Face literally drops in and takes the fight back before retreating with Rabbit. Was he a passerby that wanted to help? If so, why was he there when Mado died? Not everything is lining up with what the CCG is telling us. Of course the guy just told us this, he didn't show it. But there's that Knightmare angle.

"It just doesn't seem right. Why would they emblazon their name like that? It seems a little too terrorist especially with only two casualties. However, it conveniently lead the CCG's attention away from the twentieth ward. So, maybe they were behind it or maybe Skull Face did it to put the blame on someone else. But why didn't they retaliate for getting blamed for something they didn't do? It's possible Knightmare just picked it up after Mado died but why? If that's the case then you have to consider the reason Skull Face did it in the first place. He could've been protecting his hunting territory in the Twentieth ward but it might have been easier to move.

"Our ward is unusually peaceful compared to the other wards, maybe he was trying to keep that peace but there's no way he could do that on his own. There's probably a bunch of ghouls here and there's no way all of them would listen to him. They might if he was leading a group or is part of one anyways. Perhaps it's Knightmare and their base is here. Or it could just be a random one. In either case, our understanding of ghoul organization and relationships would be sorely lacking. They do have the organization and the right ability to care to assign a guard detail." Eventually Hide caught on that he was starting to drone on and on, so he just leaned back in his chair, folded his hands behind his head and shrugged. "Ignore me, I'm just trying to say that's there's too many holes in the CCG's explanation."

Kaneki had paid rapt attention to every word and was absolutely terrified of and for Hide. Nishiki had been absolutely right: Hide was pretty smart and that made him dangerous. He picked everything about the entire case apart and had come so shockingly close to the actual truth. If he could figure that out than couldn't the CCG. Even if they didn't, all he would have to do is present his findings and obliterate all the hard work and loss that was done to fix this. Plus Touka wouldn't be too happy to hear this. She would kill Hide on the spot just on basic principle. What made him think of all this anyways?

"By the way, Hide, why are you thinking about this." Kaneki tried to ask slyly but wasn't all that successful.

Hide reached into his bag and whipped out a book that had that ghoul expert that was on the TV when Kaneki first discovered he was a ghoul. The dirty blonde exclaimed. "Well, listen up! This book was super interesting."

The half-breed stared blankly in legitimate confusion. "What's that?"

"What?" The human responded to the stare worn one of his own that questioned how his friend got into college. "It's Ogura's Book of Ghoul Dismantling! The supreme volume for studying ghoul psychology and biology from various angles! I don't read novels but I can read this stuff. The examples of ghouls are cool too. Like this group in the third ward that wear clown masks or the urban legend of the fourth ward's No Eyed Demon."

As he continued on, Kaneki realized how influential Hide could be. A song or movie could get him ingested in learning a new language or martial art. The human went through fads like they were going out of style. The half-breed listened casually until his friend said. "Perhaps I should start looking into The Daughter case myself. Bet I would be pretty good it."

At this the dark haired student get alarmed and whisper shouted. "Are you insane?! That's dangerous! Stop it before you get hurt! This isn't a game!"

"Whoa. What's with you suddenly." The human questioned confusedly but relinquished and put the book and poster away.

He may have acted like he didn't know what was going on, but Hide understood Kaneki's worry. Whatever group he was apart of had to maintain their secrecy to stay running and the human threated that. The half-breed might not be able to kill him but somebody would. He couldn't be sure but he was willing to bet that the ghoul had been involved in this somehow. Actually by getting so alarmed he had confirmed it. All the dirty blonde was trying to do was warn his friend of how easy it was to peice that together and tell him that he knew about his childhood friend's alter ego. Unfortunately, Kaneki Ken has a tendency to be a bit thick when out comes to casual suggestions. Hopefully he would get it eventually.

After his classes and a quick stop by his apartment for his work clothes, Kaneki stepped into Anteiku. He didn't get before getting rushed by a pair of ghouls. The taller and leaner of the two slapped the teen on the back and exclaimed. "Yo, eyepatch! Did you really drive away a dove?"

Stumbling forward a step and looking slightly distressed by all the attention Kaneki sputtered out. "What."

"This guy saw the whole thing while he was out food shopping." The taller ghoul pointed at a more stouter one standing behind him, who nodded enthusiastically. "You'd knocked him down in just one blow! You're pretty strong despite how you look."

"You're amazing, you should go out and kick all of their asses." The stouter one insisted.

Koma called out from his place behind the counter. "Come on, guys, let him work. His shift's starting."

The ghouls begrudgingly went back to their seats while Kaneki took of his jacket he had over his work clothes and hung it on the hook that was by the greeting podium that was next to the door for employees. He hadn't intended to do that when he went up against Amon.

"Sorry about that." Koma apologized. "All the customers are ghouls at the moment so everyone's in high spirits. You've become something of a celebrity now."

"For some reason." Kaneki muttered.

"Well," The boisterous ghoul struck a pose and said nonchalantly. "I may look like a nice guy but a long time ago I was pretty naughty. I once went by the name the Devil Ape."

"Devil ape, huh?" The half-breed in a questioning tone with the accompanying look.

Yoshimura walked by then having served a couple of customers and walked into the back rooms. Kaneki rushed after him with a hurried excuse to Koma. He caught up to the manager in the kitchen saying. "I'm sorry, sir. If you would excuse me for a minute."

The old ghoul looked at him, raised his eyebrows curiously and replied. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry for acting on my own." The college student apologized. He had been wanting to do this for the past couple of weeks but had never mustered up enough courage till today. "It'll be my fault when the investigators start coming here steadily. I'm really sorry."

A moment of tense silence that left the teenager wondering what the resolve would be passed before he got his answer. "What are you talking about?"

Kaneki stared agape at the manager. Of all the answers that was the least expected. Yoshimura relieved him of his confusion by saying. "I want to share my gratitude. I heard everything another that day from Yomo. The "human you" fighting to protect ghouls. I couldn't be more pleased. Nonetheless, whatever Touka and Marcus did, it drew attention away from the twentieth ward so there won't be doves marching into our ward and if it hasn't been for your contribution that wouldn't have happened."

Worry lifted off of the younger ghoul's shoulders at that. "That's good to hear."

"Besides that, I should…" The aged ghoul paused to think about whether he should say that. "No. Nevermind."

The half-breed blinked confusedly before shaking it off and said. "One last thing, manager. How's Touka?"

The wizened ghoul smiled. "Actually, perfect timing. She's healed up completely and she's willing to talk finally."

"Really?!"the dark haired ghoul exclaimed.

After that night and a closer inspection of Touka's wounds, it was discovered that the Quinque had passed dangerously closed to her spine. The street doctor they called in suggested she stay in bed for two weeks. To make sure not to damage her spine and allow the massive amount of flesh lost to regrow. They had asked what had happened in the waterway but she didn't say a thing. From the way her eyes looked Kaneki thought she was trying to heal from something more then an injury to her stomach. She had been hurt or scarred by whatever happened down there. Everyone saw that but no one can get a word out of her. The only one able to get her to talk was Hinami who already knows what happened. The only clue they have as to what happened is when they asked if she wanted to go to Marcus' place for a better bed she refused. Vehemently.

"When? Now?" Kaneki enthusiastically asked.

"After work." Yoshimura replied with a placating wave of his hand. "She's going to tell all of us even asked me to invite Uta."

"Really?" The half-breed blinking in surprise. "That's weird."

The old ghoul agreed. "It is. But I guess she has a reason."

"I guess so."

Touka picked up her sleeveless shirt off the bed and put it on. She winced as she had to stretch her arms over her head to slid on the shirt and thus stretch her recently healed muscles. The doc may have told her that she was okay to move around but he had also told her that moving those muscles would hurt for a while as they redeveloped to their former status. They should return to their former glory as long she doesn't do anything too strenuous with them. Which screwed the pooch for her. The injury had taken out her abs, obliques, and her latissimus dorsi on the left side. Which meant that twisting or bending in any direction hurt and so did lifting her arms past her shoulders. Doc gave her another week before she was back to a hundred percent.

She unconsciously traced the scar that was on her abdomen. It was a couple inches wide with spidery tendrils stretching out. Touka prided herself on being fast enough not to get hit or to receive only light damage that wouldn't give her scars. This was probably the heaviest hit she's ever gotten. For half a second she wondered what Marcus would think before remembering that she was never going to talk to him again. Fresh anger surged up as she thought about how he had lied to her. It may little over a month since they but in that time she had grown to trust him. It may have something to do with how similar he was in attitude to Yoriko. Positive, friendly and caring. Then there was how similar he was to Touka too. He had been through some of the greatest hells Tokyo had to offer and he knew when to make the tough call. Then he had found solace in someone who had taken him in. She had found comfort in that he was able to relate to her.

Of course, that may have all been an act to get close to Touka so he could eat her or even worse. Psychopaths like Marcus are into some sick shit. It was why she had to tell the others about him before they let him back into the shop. There was no way he would be happy that he was found out. So she had to tell the others before he came back looking to clean up. The fact he hasn't yet both made her curious and terrified her. She had been acting all depressed over killing Kureo and taking Akira's father for the past couple weeks when she shouldn't have bothered. That bitch had been harboring the bastard all this time. Besides she should have warned the others as soon as possible. It was about damn time she did it.

Touka straightened her jeans and stepped out of the guest room she had been resting in for the past couple of weeks. She walked down the hall to the meeting room. She breathed deeply to prepare herself before stepping into the room. The first thing she had noticed eerily similar the seating arrangements were to when she learned of Ryouko's death. Irimi and Koma were sitting on the furthest couch from the door facing it. Kaneki was sitting on the closest couch that was facing away. Yomo was standing up and leaning against the wall. There was a few differences, like that the black ops member of Anteiku was leaning against the wall adjacent to the door. Sitting next to the eyepatch wearing ghoul was Uta looking as relaxed as ever as though he was unaware of how uncomfortable he was making the teen. Everyone was still in their work clothes except the tall white haired ghoul who was wearing his trench coat and pants, and the goth who was being a goth in his stylishly torn and studded black jeans, loose black shirt that hung off of one shoulder and black jacket.

Yoshimura was there waiting by the door with a cup of coffee. He handed it to Touka and said patiently. "Whenever you're ready."

"Thanks." She mumbled and sipped the drink. It was the manager's special relaxation brew.

Touka nodded her thanks and walked over to the furthest of the chairs that sat at the end so that everyone could see her. Yoshimura sat on the chair at the opposite end. She sat there drinking her coffee still trying to psyche herself up for retelling what happened that night in the waterway. Eventually she ran out of coffee to buy time with so she set the cup down on the table and let out a sigh.

"So, you want to know what happened?" Touka asked. She took the silence and the attentive gazes as confirmation to continue. "The best place to start would after I went out and attacked the investigators."

Thus Touka told them the whole story. From that point to where Kaneki and Yomo walked into the waterway. She didn't hide any detail or lie about any part. It was easy to talk about in some parts, difficult in others. Especially when she spoke of Kureo torturing her to get at Marcus and when she pulled off the glove. The expressions of the group varied throughout. Koma and Irimi were attentive or shocked, especially at the revelation of Marcus. Uta and Yomo were expressionless till the end. Kaneki was looking like he was trying to hide something. Yoshimura just remained pensive as he listened. They were all patient listeners and waited kindly as she soldiered though. Irimi even offered some kinds words when words had failed the teenage girl. As the violet haired girl finished, the room was filled with silence.

"So, Marcus is Xeno." Irimi restated breaking the silence. "That's almost hard to believe."

"But it makes sense. He joined us to make use of our packages but they haven't gone down any more than before he joined. I guess he never used them." Koma added.

Touka scoffed and said derisively. "That's because he was munching on other ghouls. Fucking psychopath."

Kaneki winced at that catching the high school girl's eye. As she looked between him and the manager, realization dawned on her. "You guys knew."

The half-breed looked away ashamed while the manager continued his pensive expression. Irimi and Koma looked at them in surprise. A snarl grew on the violet haired girl's face as she asked. "How long?"

The older ghoul answered first. "Since the moment he walked into the shop. I had… met him once before and I recognized his scent."

She looked at the college student expectantly. He was slower to answer. "He showed me when I nearly killed Hide. He was the one who knocked you out."

"Unbelievable. The one time he tells the truth it's to admit he kicked my ass." She looked around at everyone and asked with outrage filling her voice. "Who else knows?"

The only two people who have yet to make a comment raised their hand. Uta was the first to explain. "I knew as soon as he walked into my shop. I am a fourth ward inhabitant, have been all my life. I could tell by the way he acted and how he dressed. It was kind of a neon sign."

"I only had my suspicions." Yomo stated. "Not many can match me blow for blow, let alone injure me. If it wasn't for his inexperience he would've won. Besides after his arm broke didn't you say that he destroyed his cast to fight Nishiki?"

"Yeah, and?" The teenage girl crossed her arms.

"He did that two days after being injured. I had the same injury and I could barely move my arm after two days let alone break a cast." He explained before he gave her a scrutinizing stare. "Can you say for certain that when he said it hurt, he was telling the truth and wasn't acting?"

Touka gritted her teeth as she realized Yomo was right. Marcus had told her about the nature of his broken arm. She hadn't thought twice about it but that much damage, for it to heal enough to be used extraneously in two days was impossible. Even for a ghoul. Then there was fight with Yomo, both showdowns with the investigators. That damn jacket he always wore. All of his scars. He had all but told her who he was and she never noticed. She had been to caught up in enjoying his company that she missed all the signs. She got blindsided and she let it happened.

Touka slammed her fists onto the table in pure frustration, cracking the wood. "Damn it! I should have seen it!"

Irimi gave her a sympathetic glace before looking towards Yoshimura. There was a moment of silence before Yomo spoke up. "What are we going to do? He can't stay. He is a danger to both us and everyone in the twentieth ward. We also are the only people who know what he looks like. This may be the only chance anyone has to get rid of a nuisance to all ghouls. If he were to join with the CCG if he hasn't already. There would be two "reapers". We wouldn't stand a chance."

Koma and Irimi didn't respond thinking silently but silence could be taken as assent. Kaneki sent a worried glance to Yoshimura who shared it. This was starting to go downhill. Kaneki spoke up trying to be the voice of reason. "Let's give him a chance to at least plead his case before we go out and execute him."

" 'Give him a chance?' " Touka snarled before glaring at the half-breed. "He has killed over several hundred ghouls maybe even a thousand. Do you think he ever gave them a chance?"

"But…"

"If he's this strong now." The enraged high school student interjected. "Imagine how strong he will be later. He's already show an increase and could only get stronger."

"Let's listen to Kaneki." Irimi tried to calm things down but they escalated anyways.

"Guys…"

The black ops operator ignored the half-breed's attempt to speak in favor for his suggestion. "We should act now while we have the chance before he tries to act against us."

Growing tired of people not letting him speak his mind, the college cut off whoever was trying to speak next by shouting. "It's poisonous!"

Everyone stared at him in surprise at his sudden and unusual outburst. Irimi broke the pregnant silence first. "What's poisonous?"

The relatively new member to Anteiku blinked as he was suddenly the center of attention. He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. "Human flesh is poisonous to Marcus. He doesn't have a choice but to eat ghouls. That's not the only thing. He also has this presence in his head that pushes him to hunt and to kill. Sometimes it even takes over and controls his actions. He can't help but hunt otherwise he could go insane and hurt a lot of people."

Touka scoffed at that. "I almost forgot how gullible you are. To think you believed that. Bakaneki."

Yomo added on. "Besides if he can't control himself, all the more reason to hunt him down before he does some serious damage."

A chuckle rose from Uta as he shook his head. Yoshimura looked towards him, as much as one could with closed eyes, and said. "You've been quiet until now. Anything you would like to add?"

"Oh," Uta replied thoughtfully. "I was just wondering when we had become the CCG, that's all."

"Excuse me?" Touka asked just as stunned as everyone else at the goth's comment.

"Look at us." He responded gesturing to everyone. "We're bickering over killing someone just because of what he is, not who he is. Just like the doves."

"I know who he is." She countered. "He's Xeno. The No Eyed Demon of the fourth ward. He has a ghoul kill count that most investigators can't even hope to rival. He eats his own kind."

"Look at where he lived. The fourth and twenty-fourth wards. The most hostile places in Tokyo. You kill and eat to survive in those places. Both human and ghoul. As long as it meant living another day. Down there, there aren't many options. But is it nature or nurture?" The goth countered.

"What do you mean?" Kaneki asked.

The tattooed ghoul scratched at his chin thoughtfully. "Well, you know the age old question. What decides a person's personality and the way they act: the nature of their genetics or the nurture of their parents? It could be just like Kaneki says, nature has dictated that he can't eat human flesh and forces him to devour other ghouls with another personality, a more predatory one. Or could it be the nurture of living the harshest wards without family to protect him. The earliest reports of Xeno go back twelve years. That would make him six. A six year old boy living in arguably the harshest environment on earth. He should've died yet he still lives. He couldn't do that without disregarding morals and codes, and choosing to live by the rules of nature. The strong survive and the weak die."

"I can't argue with that." Koma agreed. "But he is clearly a Kakuja and the earliest reports also show that he already had his Kakuja form. That would mean he would have to be a Kakuja at the age of six and a full one at that. How?"

Yoshimura added in. "Kakujas are a mystery even to those who are them. His mother, his birth mother, may have been one herself. She may have continued to devour ghoul flesh while she was pregnant with him. It may be possible that he was born one."

"Nature or nurture." The goth repeated.

Touka crossed her arms annoyed and sat back in her seat. "So which one is it? Nature or nurture?"

"Nature." The half-breed assured. "Marcus told me all his abilities and his unique condition. He has all four kagune types."

"That's impossible." Yomo interjected.

The violet haired ghoul shook her head. Slowly starting to see Uta and Kaneki's point of view. "It's not. I saw them too. Bikaku, Rinkaku, Koukaku and Ukaku. They're all there."

"And he has an RC count of Twelve thousand. Way higher than the average ghoul." The dark haired student noted. "Plus there's his Ukaku. Before his shards fired in bursts like a shotgun, now they're the size of daggers and they explode. If he became the way he is because that's how he was raised then that would mean he learned those abilities. If they were teachable then we could've beaten the CCG ages ago."

"Good point." The mask maker agreed.

"If it is his nature and he's all that you say he is." The teenage girl stated. "Then what about this… other side? He may not be dangerous but it could be."

"Well, he ate at home most of the time but after a while his inner demon would start getting restless. Uh, the best way to describe it would be it would get cabin fever. It had been stuck too long and it would want out. Either he let it out or it would drive him insane with the urge to hunt. So he hunted every two weeks to keep it at bay." The nineteen year old folded his hands and rested his elbows on his knees before resting his chin on his hands.

Anteiku's information gatherer nodded. "That sounds about right. Most recent reports about him pop up about every two weeks."

"But I think something's changed."

"What makes you think that?" Irimi asked.

"Touka's description doesn't match what I saw that time with Hide and Nishiki." The half-breed explained. "He was much more predatory and animalistic. He also fought using more hunter like tactics. Evasive maneuvers, hiding then attacking from behind. Weakening the prey before dealing the final blow. You described it as direct, and hand-to-hand."

"Yeah. What are saying?" The girl with the unique colored hair asked.

"Well. A Kagune is directly linked to a ghoul's state of mind. That I can attest to personally. I couldn't really use Rize's till I thought like a ghoul. Something had to change with Marcus' relationship Xeno." He said remembering his fight against Amon.

"Maybe a Faustian Contract? He let Xeno have more control as long as he saved Touka and Hinami." The goth suggested.

The dark haired student nodded agreeably, sitting up. "Something like that. Yeah. That might be the reason why he hasn't come back yet. He's trying to figure out the price."

"Even if what he says is true, what are going to do about him?" Touka asked. "At this point I can't even till what's truth and lie."

Yoshimura defended. "To be fair, he never really lied just didn't disclose everything but you bring up a good point. When he joined I gave him a… let's call it a condition: if he were to harm you in any way, retaliation would be swift and deadly. It might be best if we keep that. Until we at least better understand his situation."

"What if his 'Faustian Contract' cost him his humanity and he's nothing more than a raging beast?" Yomo asked, hesitantly using the term set forth by Uta.

As everyone looked at him expectantly, Yoshimura thought about his reading of the Kakuja in question. "From what I read in his eyes and what I've seen in the month he's been with us, if he was ever aware of such a change happening he would ask us to put him down."

There was moment of grim silence before the Manager. "For now, let's make sure that when he comes back he feels welcome. He probably feels like an outsider and that he doesn't belong. We should let him know that's not true. Dismissed."

Everyone got up and went about their day. Anteiku went about finishing up closing the shop while Uta and Yomo left. One through the front and the other underground. Touka planned on heading home. It's been a few days over two weeks; they should be done fumigating her apartment. The thought of sleeping in her own bed would have been comforting if it wasn't for the interrupting thoughts about Marcus. She was partially convinced that he wasn't there to eat their livers with some fava beans and a nice chianti, though she was sure the thought had crossed his mind at least once. She also didn't like that other personality in the his head. It all made a weird kind of sense but what she couldn't figure out was why.

Why did he come here? Why integrate himself into Anteiku? It would have been better for him to stay hidden and undercover. Getting caught could literally mean having a mob sent after him. He's not exactly popular. It didn't make any form of sense. She wanted to figure out what he was thinking. Hell she wouldn't mind just figuring him out in general. Although she was too pissed to go up and talk to him. He left her out of the loop. He didn't trust her even though she trusted him. Asshole. She wasn't going to come running to him. If he wanted to mend things he was going have to come to her and apologize. It had better be a damn good one too. Maybe she would deny him at first and let him stew for a while in apprehension. Maybe even say "no" several times. Just to show the bastard.

Touka chuckled to herself. 'Guess it's true what they say, I am a vindictive bitch.'

"Sir!" Shouted a young spritely investigator as she ran up to her older partner. "Suspect's on the move!"

"All right. Tell Ilda to stay in him. Not even time to mourn." The older investigator grumbled before commanding. "Let's move."

Amon watched the two investigators move quickly towards the elevator from his desk. He was sent back to the Main Office after Kureo's death to await reassignment to another partner and with them another case. As the tall, dark haired investigator watched the duo move out, he felt a sense of nostalgia. It had been four years ago when he had been another nameless, green, rank 2 investigator. He had been young and naïve. When he first met his mentor, he was appalled by Kureo's behavior. Acting on hunches, the overall casual attitude towards his job and his eccentric obsession towards Quinques. Amon had actually thought his partner was a joke. Now, he respected the old man, especially after the elder Mado had saved Koutaro's life and proved that his methods work. Honestly, Amon missed him.

"Hey, big crybaby!" Shouted a familiar voice, jarring Amon out of his less than happy thoughts. Shinohara stepped up to the morose investigator with a teasing smile. "Crying like a little baby again?"

"Sir, please…" Begged the younger investigator, exasperated. This was Shinohara's favorite way to badger him.

"Need a drilling like back at the academy?" Laughed the once-mentor.

The longer haired investigator sighed. "No, sir."

Yukinori Shinohara used to be a teacher at the academy teaching Ghoul Combat Tactics. Amon was in the Special Investigator's class one year and had grown to respect him as a mentor much like the way he had with Kureo. The elder Mado had also spoken highly of him. They had trained and worked together long ago before Shinohara transferred over to reserve and started teaching. The younger investigator kept sporadic contact since his graduation. Mostly when the two experienced investigators got together to share a few drinks and some war stories. Last Koutarou had heard Shinohara was still teaching at the academy. If he's back in the main office he must be getting reassigned.

Shinohara quickly lost his positive attitude and took on a morose one. "I'm sorry about Mado. We were old friends."

Amon's head sunk slightly. "I know."

An investigator jogged up to them shouting. "Shinohara, sir! It's Juuzou again."

The older investigator sighed distressed "What did he do this time?"

"Are you back in the field?" Asked the more apprehensive of the two.

"Yeah. Between Knightmare and Aogiri the bigwigs are all in a fuss pulling as many people out of the reserve and private sectors into active duty as they can. Unfortunately, they stuck me with a huge pain in the ass. I should probably got going before said pain does anything else." Replied the kindhearted investigator as he stood up. "Also, Amon."

"Sir?"

"Mado was proud of you."

As Shinohara left to deal with his new partner, Amon rested his head on his arms and muttered to himself. "I know."

Amon attended Kureo's funeral later that day in Chidorigafuchi National Cemetery, Japan's military cemetery located in the first ward. For the longest time CCG investigators were buried in civilian cemeteries but in 1982 it was declared that that fight against ghouls was intense enough to be called a war. So, the CCG was made into a branch of the military and thus gave the organization access to better funds, training and the honor of burying their dead in the historical cemetery.

Much to Amon's surprise there was large group of people attending Kureo's funeral. The old man may have had his quirks and infamous reputation as Quinque freak but he was well known as a good investigator. His fame had only spread more after his daughter had become one of the best investigators to graduate from the academy and join the team made of the best of the best led by none other the Reaper. Present was mix of a few older investigators who knew him personally and respected the fallen invested as a friend, with several younger investigators who knew his reputation and had looked up to him as the example of a good investigator. All came to pay their respects.

Amongst the mourning investigators was Shinohara standing next to Division One Chief Iwao Kuroiwa. Not to far from them was Akira. Amon did his best to stay hidden from her. He couldn't handle talking to her. Not here. He was Kureo's partner and thus was supposed to have his back but the younger investigator didn't. He was told to keep his distance, to set up a perimeter and wait. He had objected but did it anyways. If he had pushed the issue maybe the elder Mado would still be alive. It was his fault that her father was dead and he could not face her knowing that.

After the funeral everyone scattered to go home and only Amon and Akira lingered at the grave. A pregnant silence lingered between them but only the taller of the two was in any way nervous about it.

"It's not your fault, you know." Akira said suddenly. Amon looked at her in surprise. "How were you to know he would've been out matched? You followed orders and that's the best anyone can do in war. Even if you had followed him you may not have changed anything."

Amon expression became despondent. He knew she was right. Didn't mean it made him feel any way less guilty. "Yeah."

A hand was laid on her shoulder, she looked back to see it was Marcus his usual dark clothes and jacket. She hadn't expected him to be here. He hadn't been doing too well the past few weeks. Despite what she said he still blamed himself for Kureo's death. She thought that he wouldn't want to be here because of that. Also the large amount of armed investigators might have been a deterrent. Yet, he still came and she was glad for that. She was inches away from breaking down and probably couldn't hold it together without him.

The Kakuja looked towards the horizon where the sun was going and with it the temperature. He took off his jacket and threw it around her shoulders. "Here."

"Thanks." She pulled the jacket tight across her chest and looked towards Amon. "Dad had told me once that out of all of his partners you were his favorite. That's saying something considering he likes to work alone. Keep looking ahead. Don't get discouraged by his death. If you're half the investigator he thought you to be, you'll be okay."

Amon nodded. His moral restored. "Thanks for that."

"Of course." She said warmly before taking her leave with Marcus.

Amon turned towards Kureo's grave and the recently dug up earth. A fresh wave of emotions hit. Rage among but to be honest he also wanted to just breakdown and cry. However he couldn't do it. Akira was right, he had to keep going, keep fighting. It was like that favorite saying of his mentor. "When the enemy's before you, keep fighting even when you lose your arms and legs." Kureo had faith in Amon's abilities and the pupil couldn't let down the mentor. He had to live up to expectations. Otherwise, he wasn't honoring his partner's, his friend's memory.

Amon stepped forward, pulling the extra pair of white gloves that Kureo kept in his desk out of his pocket and laid it on top of the grave. "It was an honor working with you, Kureo Mado."

Touka twirled her pencil absentmindedly, staring blankly at the half heartedly written notes taken on whatever her teacher was talking about. She barely noticed the history lesson that was going on nor all the talking of the students in her class. Some whispered about menial things like new music videos coming out while others muttered about Kureo's death despite it being a week since the funeral.

It only made things worse for Touka as she couldn't stop seeing the old bastard every time they said something. She kept having flashes of Kureo clawing his way towards her in blind, dying conviction to use his last breath to act out his vengeance. She kept seeing that damn ring on his hand, reminding her of what she really did. With no word from Marcus since he disappeared, she has long lost the urge to be vindictive towards him. So, she couldn't focus on that anger to distract her from such images. It has put her in a somewhat depressed state for the last few days.

"Hey, Touka. Touka!" Whisper shouted a feminine voice beside her, trying to get the violet haired teen's attention before the teacher noticed.

Too late the teacher locked onto the spaced out girl like a guided missile and called out. "Ms. Kirishima!"

Startled, the ghoul in disguise squeaked slightly in surprise and responded quickly. "Yes?"

"Who led the Kansei reform in the eighteenth century?" The teacher asked crossing his arms.

Panicking on the inside, the violet haired girl racked her brain for the answer. She had difficulties finding one, as she wasn't paying attention two minutes ago when the teacher said the answer. So, she went with the first name that came to mind. "Oda Nobunaga?"

The class chuckled in unison at her totally wrong answer. Someone slammed their head against their desk in sheer disbelieve at the answer. The teacher sighed. "You're off. By several centuries. Pay more attention from now on."

"Yes, sir." She replied disconcerted slumping her cheek against her left fist.

"Hey, Touka." Said a soft voice. "What's up? You seem out of it."

Touka turned her head to look at her best friend of three years, Yoriko Kosaka. Yoriko has very soft features, the kind show off her very kind and pleasant personality. Her round eyes that held a rare color of green like fresh picked peas during harvest. Plump lips held a small, warm smile. Hazelnut hair was cut into a light chin length bob cut with blunt bangs. Kind of like a hime style haircut. She had a body that wasn't nothing to scoff at but it didn't break the necks of every boy that walked by. Actually, much to Touka's annoyance they gawk at her more than her human friend.

Which Yoriko assured was a good thing and that Touka needed a boyfriend. The hazelnut haired student annoyed her friend with her constant persistence about boyfriends. It was who she was. She was an outgoing personality who worried about her friends. She was caring and kind. She was the one human in the entire world the ghoul cared about.

"It's nothing," Touka dismissed assuring.

"Nothing?" Questioned Yoriko. "Oh, c'mon. You're acting strange and you seem distracted. If something's wrong, you can…"

Growing slightly annoyed by her friend's pestering. The ghoul hiding in plain sight groaned in frustration and shouted out. "I'm on my period, okay!"

"Oh, that explains it." Hazelnut haired student nodded nonchalantly as though it wasn't a personal piece of information that was declared to the world, seriously disturbing any nearby high school boys who did not need to hear it.

"You worry about too much about the tiniest things, Yoriko." Sighed the hotheaded teen.

"Do I?" Questioned the caring friend. "But it's so obvious with you.

The purple eyed student's head snapped up and looked the girl next to her indignantly and exclaimed. "Huh? What didja say?"

The bell rang signaling lunch.

"Oh! It's lunchtime." Exclaimed the green eyed girl ecstatically.

In a serious of swift, fluid, and joyful movement, Yoriko snatched her bento lunch box from underneath her desk and hopped over to the empty desk in front of Touka. She flipped the desk around so that the two high school girls were facing and planted herself in the seat. All with a warm smile. The more calmer of the two had been so used to her friend's gleeful behavior, she casually got her lunch box from under her desk and started opening it. So did the warmhearted student.

Much in the way the two of them were samples of contrasts in extrovert and introvert so were their lunch boxes. Touka's exampled a conservative style to lunch, a small box that held a jelly sandwich cut in half from corner to corner making a pair of triangles. While Yoriko's showed off extravagance with a home cooked Japanese Fried Chicken bento that included the fried chicken, obviously, seasoned steamed rice, some gyoza, pickled cucumber and mixed green salad. Which only made sense as the owner of the illustrious bento box was an inspiring cook.

As Touka lifted one of the sandwich triangles to take a bite out of it, Yoriko groaned. "A jelly sandwich again?"

"Is that a problem?" Questioned the disguised ghoul. "It's the easiest thing to eat."

Touka took a bite and hid the disgust. As exaggerated as Kaneki was about human food, he wasn't wrong either. The bread was like a sponge and the jelly was slime for all intents and purposes. However it was the least seasoned food she could go with that wouldn't attract attention to what she ate. While texture did play a lot in what ghouls thought about human food, the seasonings and flavorings humans loved to add to their dishes added insult to injury. It practically increased the horrible taste on an exponential level and it wreaked even more havoc on a lot ghoul's system. Gourmet food could make a ghoul sick for days.

Yoriko shook her insistently and stated. "You're a growing girl. You need to eat something more nutritious! Here!"

A piece of chicken was plucked out of the box and held out to Touka who tried to minimize her cringe to microscopic levels. "Seriously?"

The human girl's face took on a playful expression and she said in a sing-song. "C'mon. Eat it."

"Fine…" The violet haired student sighed in defeat taking a moment to steel herself for the taste. Then she quickly snatched it into her mouth and started chewing.

"I changed the seasoning a bit. Seeing how I could change the flavor without going too overboard." The cooked explained. The ghoul swallowed and stayed silent. Both worried and expectant the human asked. "Well?"

With a smile, the hotheaded girl reached across the desks and promptly teasingly flicked her friend in the forehead who exclaimed in mock pain. The taste tester kicked back in her seat and nonchalantly gave her review. "It's good."

The hazelnut haired student said self-consciously. "You're just saying that to be nice."

"No, it really is!" Lied the disguised ghoul enthusiastically.

"Really?! Thanks!" her human friend replied gleefully. Then a mischievous smile slid onto her face and she rested her elbows on the desk and leaned forward. "Now then, in exchange for that chicken tell me what's up with you?"

Touka squinted her eyes at her friend skeptically. "Clever girl."

Said clever girl just grinned. "I know. So, what's up?"

Touka sighed. In all actuality she didn't need to tell her anything. Her issues were not worth a one inch piece of chicken but it was a something of a game between them. Ever since Yoriko did that with her on the first day they had lunch together. Usually the ghoul would throw some kind of quip about how chicken doesn't equal her talking about her issues. However this time she might take the offer. Yoriko was a sentimental soul, she had a great gift for understanding someone else's point of view. She might be able to help the ghoul better know Marcus and his intentions. Besides it would give her something else to think about other than Kureo's bloodied and mad expression.

"Well," Touka said hesitantly, trying to stay as ambiguous as possible. "There is an issue with one of my coworkers."

Yoriko cut in guessing. "It's that British guy you mentioned awhile back, Marcus. It is isn't it?"

The violet haired girl sighed. "Yes, It's Marcus."

"Knew it." The aspiring cook smiled smugly, picking a up another piece if chicken with her chopsticks and eating it.

"Anyways." The ghoul continued. "He told me that he had spent most of his childhood in the streets in the fourth ward but what he didn't tell me was that he did things, bad things during that time. I found out about it a few weeks ago."

The hazelnut haired girl shrugged. "What's wrong with that? I haven't been there but I heard that the fourth ward are practically slums."

"There isn't anything wrong. I mean there is. I mean-" The disguised ghoul growled frustratingly. "That's not the problem. The problem is that he told my other coworker and my boss and had asked them not to tell me. He was all but lying to my face every time I talked to him. I was mad at him after I found out but that was three weeks ago and there has been no sign of him. I don't know whether I'm angry or depressed. I don't know what I'm angry at: him not telling me or him letting my find out instead of telling me to my face. It's just confusing. Frustratingly so."

The human took on an unusually serious face, set her chopsticks down on her bento, and beckoned her friend closing with her finger. The hotheaded girl leaned closer confused only to receive a bop on the forehead with her friend's palm. She jerked back and exclaimed indignantly. "Hey, what's that for?"

"I forgot how dense you can be at times." The usually bubbly girl sighed wearily, picking up her chopsticks again and eating a clump of seasoned rice.

The purpled eyed ghoul asked a bit sourly. "What do you mean by that?"

"Look," The green eyed girl said matter of factly gesturing with her chopsticks to emphasize the point. "I may not have an extensive experience with boyfriends but I have been around boys in general long enough to know that girls' opinions matter. Boys really fret about what girls think about especially the ones who are close. Be friend or girlfriend. If I had to guess he didn't tell you because he was worried about what you thought about him. It might actually be worse for him. If he really did do bad things while he was on the streets then he probably feels different, lonely. Then when you guys became friends your opinion of him became the most important one in the world. He became afraid of your reaction to tell you so he kept it a secret."

Touka blinked confusedly for second before saying, "So, he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings."

"Well, Yes and no." Yoriko responded twirling a piece of gyoza. "He probably was worried about hurting you but he also worried about being hurt himself. He could've thought that he wouldn't be able handle you rejecting him. So he kept quiet."

"So, why didn't he just tell me sooner? There would've been less fuss that way." The ghoul asked.

The hazelnut haired girl responded. "He wanted to. But he might have been too scared so he kept putting it off. Every day that passed he knew that it would make the whole thing harder but just couldn't do it."

"So, what should I do? Just forgive and forget?" The purple haired teen asked grumpily.

"Nuh-uh." The kind hearted teen. "He didn't trust that you would be understanding enough to tell you. Friends, especially best friends tell each other everything. He didn't do that. Don't let him forget. However, show him that you understand and are willing to try again. He's just gotta work for it."

"So do what I already planning on doing." The disguised ghoul summed up sarcastically. "Nice advice."

"Well, do it more nicely but yeah." The green eyed girl confirmed with a smile

The violet haired girl chuckled. "Thanks."

"Anytime." The aspiring cook plucked another piece of chicken and held it out to her friend. "Now, open wide."

As Touka snatched the fried meat with her teeth and ate it, she thought. Why do I do this to myself.

Lunch ended as classes went on usual until the end of the day. Yoriko had run off to get her gym clothes leaving Touka alone to walk outside. The hazelnut haired student had made to the locker rooms and packed her gym clothes into her bag and quickly ran to catch up with her friend so that they could walk together. She made it to the courtyard without any sight of the ghoul. Either the hazelnut haired student missed her or she got there first. The latter would not be surprising considering that the violet haired girl always struggled to get through the miles in P.E.. It was all those jam sandwiches, if she ate more properly she wouldn't have as many problems.

As Yoriko looked around checking to see if her friend waiting at the gate or walking up, her eyes locked on to a heart throb of a teen. He had on a black bomber jacket over dark jeans, and a grey button up t-shirt. He had wild but reigned in, wind tossed hair with his clothes gave him a real bad boy look. Maybe a bad boy trying to be good which is even better. His captivating green eyes had soft kindness to them that was hidden slightly by them staring at the ground blankly. He was leaning against the wall of the courtyard near the gate, feet crossed and thumbs tucked into the pockets of his jeans. One finger tapped nervously.

He was obviously waiting on someone. Yoriko gazed around to see who it was. Her only results were the many girls in the yard practically drooling at the sight of him. He did kind of beat practically all the hottest boys in the school. It must've been his foreign features. Seeing no one walk up to the stranger. The kind hearted girl decided to walk up and ask. She'll liked helping people and if they just happened to be a cool drink of water all the better.

Yoriko walked up to him and said happily. "Excuse me." He didn't answer so she leaned over slightly so she was in his peripheral. "Hello."

His gaze shifted over to her and he jerked back blinking surprised and he hesitantly replied feeling slightly awkward. "Uh, hey."

She straightened, seeing that he was uncomfortable so she smiled warmly. "Are you a new student?"

"Uh, no." He was more confident now. "I'm home schooled."

"Well, nothing's wrong with that. So, whatcha here for?" She asked.

He scoffed derisively. "I would say I'm waiting for someone, but honestly I have no bloody clue what I'm doing. She probably won't even talk to me."

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try." The hazelnut haired girl supported.

A faint smile flickered on his face. "I guess not."

She held out a hand. "Yoriko Kosaka."

"Marcus Mado." He shook it with a gentle grip. He had to be careful with his strength especially in his state. He noticed a subtle mix of both surprise and recognition in her eyes. He frowned and brought his hand back to his pocket. "You wouldn't happen to be a friend of Touka?"

"Yep and she told me what's going between you too." She answered, adjusting her bag.

He winced. "How mad is she?" Any idea that Yoriko knew the full extent of what was going on barely even grazed his thoughts. Even if her statement could seem like that. Touka was too concerned with secrecy. Not even her only real friend could get her to tell.

"From what I saw today, not too much. Better than a week ago. Though if you waited too long she would've gotten more angry. She's like that." The kind girl explained. Saying the last part in a between-you-and-me tone.

"That she is." A light chuckle left his mouth. Then a worried expression grew on his face. "Any suggestions?"

"The truth always helps." She said with a knowing smirk.

"Yes, it does help." Stated a harsh feminine voice.

Yoriko and Marcus turned to see Touka standing a few feet away, leaning most of her weight on one leg, her arms crossed and she looked less than pleased. She had left her lunch bag in the classroom and went back to get it. When she came to the courtyard knowing her friend would wait for her the last thing she had expected to see was Marcus talking to her best friend. Whatever vestiges of anger was left in her had rekindled and intensified into absolute rage at the sight. If she had even the slightest bit less self control she would've killed him on the spot. Secret be damned. Only Yoriko's proximity kept him from being mauled.

Yoriko, who was 'lucky' enough to be between them, quickly understood what it was like to stand at ground zero. She said calmly, trying to clear the firing range "Hey, I'm going to head home. Later, Touka."

"Later." Touka replied barely containing her anger. Her furious gaze never leaving the cause of her outrage.

"Thanks." Marcus expressed his gratitude to kind hearted girl.

She smiled and offered. "Good luck." Before walking away.

He turned back to the enraged girl in front of him. Her glare had intensified more to where it was like a laser burning into him. She snarled. "This way, now."

She stalked through the front gate. He sighed begrudgingly and muttered to himself before following her. "Yea, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for Touka art with me and she be more terrifying."

Touka led Marcus several blocks away from the from the school and any witnesses. As it was, there would whispers and rumors about the two of them for weeks. He didn't complain or whine, as a matter of fact he didn't do anything but do as she said. He on thin ice over hot water. Doing anything but what she said would be bad. Which is an understatement. She turned down one alley before turning down another. Now they wouldn't be caught by any passersby. She stopped in the middle of the alley keeping her back to him. He stopped a respectful distance of a few feet. Nothing moved in the alley.

Touka turned sharply, closed the distance and slugged him. She held nothing back, not even her ghoul abilities. Her eyes glowed with the crimson of Kakugans and her rage. Yoriko's advice of being nice was gone from her head. He could've stopped it. In her anger, she had let the punch be telegraphed. He had seen the punch coming from so far away it had a return address. He knew five moves that could discourage her from hitting him again, three that could break her arm and one that could kill her, but he let her hit him. Countering would only wound her pride and make her more angry. As it was, she was going to be pissed. The swing only jerked his head to the side and made him stumble a few steps. If Yomo allowed a punch like this to hit him it would give him a good concussion or even knock him out.

Marcus dabbed a finger where he felt a sting of pain on his lip and looked at it. There was some blood on it. She split his lip. He said acceptingly. "I deserved that."

"Damn right you did." Touka snarled, rubbing her wrist. She sprained it when she punched him pissing her off more. "Don't talk to Yoriko."

"To be fair she talked first and I had no idea she was your friend until she said so." He arbitrarily corrected. She slugged him again in the other side of the face with similar results. "Deserved that one too."

She didn't dignify him with a response and just crossed her arms, asking with a harsh tone. "What do you want?"

He rubbed his eye where he felt a bruise forming. Then he dropped his hands in defeat and sighed. "It's worst place to start but I don't think there's a better one. I'm sorry."

The violet haired ghoul looked like she was ready to throw another swing but she held back. Things were going to get nowhere if she kept hitting him every other sentence. Besides, she might end up more hurt than him. "And?"

"I lied to you. I get that." He explained. "You put your trust in me, something that's hard for you to do. I disgraced that by lying to you by keeping secrets, then I went further and told Kaneki, not you. You trusted me but I didn't trust you when I should've, but I wanted know what it was like to be with other ghouls, to feel normal in some form. However I was also thinking of survival. I couldn't just tell anyone. I don't have the best reputation."

She gave a contemptuous laugh. "You did 'just tell anyone.' You told Kaneki."

"He's new to the ghoul community, so he wouldn't know my reputation as well. He would have the most objective view." The not-so-secret Kakuja rationalized, desperately.

"He may be a ghoul but he's also human. You trusted a human over me!" She countered, her hands going to her sides and clenching into fists. It was taking everything she had not to beat him into the ground.

"I'm sorry!" The desperation was growing in his voice. He was starting to lose control. "Look, I thought I was feeling emotions when I wasn't, but everything's different now."

"Is that so?" She asked with skepticism and sarcasm before scoffing. "Don't even know why I bothered. All I've heard is shit I already knew and excuses."

"Please." He all but begged.

"Just go away. I don't want to talk anymore." She growled before turning and walking away.

"No, Touka. Wait!" He cried out, leaping forward and grabbing her arm.

Angered, offended and reacting on instinct, Touka turned sharply while batting his hand away and she got ready to pound him into the pavement. She ground to a halt when she saw that he was crying. Not just a few tears. They were practically rivers. His eyes were red and splotchy, and filled desperation, hopelessness, agony, grief. Just emotional pain. Lots of it. She stood there frozen in shock. She had not honestly expected him to just start crying. It looked alien on him. He only ever expressed happiness around her and grim seriousness those few times. Sadness just didn't belong on him. He was just too happy of a person.

Noticing the wetness on his face, Marcus wiped the tears away and rubbed his eyes grumbling. "Goddammit, I hate this. Get a hold of yourself."

'He's mad at himself for crying?' She asked herself

Then a thought came to her. She remembered when they discussed Marcus' scars and the time he spent on the streets. When she was most open to him, him to her. She had said that he had seemed to have been mentally unscathed from his life in the fourth ward. What if her initial assessment was wrong. Uta had said that the only way Marcus could've survived in the fourth ward as long as he did was to let go of morals. Maybe he did that more literally. What if he turned off his emotions and only thought logically? Such a thought really brought all her conversations with the Kakuja into question, but she digressed. The best explanation for his actions now would be that his emotions somehow got turned on. So many years of repressed emotions plus whatever he was feeling at the moment were all coming to him at once. The fact he wasn't a complete wreck seemed miraculous but maybe that's what took him so long. He was trying to get a handle on things. Another realization she gleamed of this theory: if she wanted the most honest answer from him this was her time. He didn't have enough of a hold on his emotions to give a good lie.

Marcus was able to stop the tears and look into her eyes with expectation, worry and a hint of hope. Touka looked back with scrutiny searching for any signs of falsehood as she asked. "Why didn't you tell me who you were?"

His mouth opened to answer but his voice failed him and he closed it. He gaze left hers and began flickering around for an answer. Why didn't he tell her? The first answer that came to mind was the one he told her earlier but deep down he knew that wasn't right. If that was case then why didn't he tell her? He honestly didn't know and Touka saw. He was an open book to her. She could see the internal struggle as he tried to answer her question. She could see him looking back at his interactions with her trying come up with an answer. He tried speaking again but nothing came out. He couldn't say what he wanted to.

When Marcus' voice finally seemed to work he said, slowly and hesitantly before saying with conviction. "Because… I… I didn't want you to hate me."

'Wow. Yoriko was right.' Touka immediately thought. She had planned on not telling him that he was welcome back to the shop but it didn't fell right anymore. She had to leave. Seeing him in such a state was really sapping at her ability to stay angry at him. She turned and started walking away, stating quickly. "We discussed it at Antieku and you're welcome to come back anytime."

"Wait!" He cried out again stopping her. "Does that mean you forgive me?"

"Hell no!" She responded harshly and looked back to give a glare. She immediately regretted that. The expression of hurt on his face made her feel like she was kicking a puppy, so she amended keeping her voice low and saving as much of her pride as possible. "But, maybe in the future."

A glimmer of hope and happiness flickered across face. Now, she really had to get out of there before she tried adopting him. 'Damn you for being cute.'

Akira rolled a stiff shoulder trying to loosen it up. Arima hit a what could only be called a case binge and did fifteen cases in a single day. Most of the team was coincidentally not in work today for various reasons leaving her and one other poor sap to do the according paperwork. He was so slow about it too. Only managing to do four while she did eleven. To add onto to that particular headache. She's been worried about her adopted son. She couldn't help but wonder how he was able to handle being around Touka. Especially considering his recent emotional problems. She wondered if he was able to keep calm when he talked to her.

Akira walked up to her apartment door looking forward to a hot shower and maybe a shoulder rub if she could convince him into it. Such thoughts were dashed however when she heard the near obnoxiously loud sound of something hitting wood hard. Probably the fists and forearms of an angry Kakuja. She opened the unlocked door and confirmed her guess. Marcus was in dining room area shirtless and pounding away at the Wing Chun dummy, keeping to form but pounding away. He's been practicing on the dummy frequently lately to vent his newly risen and intensified anger. Which has resulted in some considerable damage to it. She saw a broken peg on the floor already and cracks forming in the new one. Making it the fourth one this week.

Akira kicked off her shoes, placing them by the door inside before going in herself and greeting. "Hey there."

Marcus landed one more strike on the dummy before leaning against it, his breathing slightly heavier, a light sheen of sweat on his skin. He replied spiritlessly. "Hey."

The investigator set her bag down on the island in the kitchen and walked over to him. Grabbing a towel that was laying on one of the chairs on her way. She handed him to him saying. "Here."

"Thanks." He mumbled taking the towel and wiping his face before sitting down against the wall.

She sat down next to him as best she could in the pencil skirt. She should really invest in combat skirts. A moment of silence was given to him to rest up and calm down before she asked carefully. "So, how did it go?"

"Terrible." The ghoul responded angrily then corrected less certainly. "I think?"

The surrogate mother raised an eyebrow in true Spock fashion. "You think?"

"I don't know. I mean I'm not sure if she really hates me anymore or not." He grunted in frustration before thumping his head against the wall. "She was so much easier to understand when I wasn't a fucking emotional wreck."

"Look, start at the beginning. How'd it go?" She asked and he told her the whole story. Afterwards she paused in thought before stating. "She said in the future so there's hope."

"I know but, dammit, it didn't go like how I wanted it to." He exclaimed despairingly.

"You honestly thought that she would forgive you that easily?"

"Well, yes. No. Maybe. I kinda hoped." He mumbled a bit dejected and shrunk in on himself shyly bringing his knees to his chest,

She smiled and ruffled his hair. "Sorry but girls are a little more complicated than that."

"I hate this. I don't like it when she hates me. It sucks. This entire thing sucks. I feel out of control. I'm either on the verge of breaking down, putting my fist through a wall or laughing my ass off simultaneously. I can't think properly. I was barely able to talk to Touka and I still broke down. I didn't want her to see that, dammit!" The Kakuja exclaimed distressed, running his hands through his hair before grabbing fistfuls as he tried to resist the wave of frustration, anger, and a combination of resentment and pity towards himself.

"Hey, hey. Shhh." The blonde cooed softly wrapping an arm around him and pulled him close. He squirmed slightly under her touch, fighting the contact before relaxing.

Akira recognized the episode, if that was what it could be called. Not long after he had returned home, Marcus had an episode like this where he just shut down. He had became so overcome with emotion, he couldn't deal with it and refused to do anything for an hour but sit in his room curled up kind of how he was now. Unlike now, she couldn't comfort him. He recoiled at any contact almost throwing her across the room. Until he recovered all she was able to do was look into what was wrong with her son. Despite having little to go on she found rather quickly. He was dealing with episodes of sensory overload. It's when the senses are being overstimulated and the body reacts in a way to distance itself from the stimulant. It didn't quite resemble what was happening to him but it was close enough to try to help him.

"Look, there's still a chance." Akira assured rubbing his arm. "All you got to do is keep trying and she'll forgive you. As for what's going on with you we'll get through it together and the others at Anteiku will help too. Just have patience and work through it. Okay?"

Marcus nodded wiping at his eyes, catching the tears before they fell. "Okay."

"Here, I have something for ya." She got up and walked to the bedroom, coming out with a guitar case. He looked at confusedly so she explained. "Well, you have such a beautiful voice and I didn't want you to waste it so I got you this so that you could give music making a shot. I was gonna give it to you for your birthday in a month but then this came up and I was thinking. Instead of trying to control your emotions, express them, get it out of your system."

"That makes sense, I guess." He replied taking the offered guitar case.

He set it on the floor and opened it. His eyes ignored the lesson books, and the receipt for a music maker program and locked onto the black finish acoustic guitar. Marcus picked it up with a gentleness that the instrument deserved, his gaze caressing every inch of the black surface. Akira's heart all but soared at the enamored look he gave it. For some reason he thought the guitar was beautiful, most beautiful thing he saw, second to her of course. Most likely it was his highly emotional state that was talking but when he strummed a few notes it left a satisfying ring.

A genuine smile slid in his face and Marcus said kindly. "Thanks, mom."

"Of course, newt." Akira leaning forward and kissing him on the forehead. He didn't object to his nickname. "Now, go take a shower. You stink."

"Of course." He responded putting the guitar back in the case before closing it.

she stepped back so that Marcus could get up and go to his room. Before he vanished into his bedroom she called out. "Happy birthday."

He looked back long enough to say, "Thanks."

Seeing happiness after weeks of depression lifted a worrying weight of her heart. She felt she might be able to rest easy tonight knowing that he would rest easy too.

---

15,440 words

GOMEN NASAI!

I've broken my promise not to vanish for three months. I really have no excuse for taken close to four months to release this peashooter of a chapter. I just had issues getting this one out. So, I'm sorry.

With that I take my break. It'll last the rest of February through till the end of March. I'll release a teaser that'd put me back on the clock. Just to restate, this break is to plan out the story some more, do some maintenance, and revise the some of the previous chapters. Also, this chapter made me realize that I might've burnt myself out on shivering grasp. This break would allow me to recharge and get back in top shape.

So, a few things I would like from you guys. Criticize what I've got so far, tell me what's good, what's bad and what can be done better. Pitch some ideas too. Any ideas you've got for the story. I consider all ideas. PM me or put into a review, choice is yours.

Also, when the characters are saying something in their head. Which do you prefer, this or 'this'

I'm thinking of starting a forum for shivering grasp so that i could keep y'all updated on the progress of the next chapter. That way you won't have to wait several months to hear from me, and you could pitch ideas easier or whatever use we think of for it. Would like your thoughts on it.

I'm also thinking of changing the title again. Sorry changing it constantly like this but i'm havingnissues settling on a single titles. Any ideas? I think of a few and put up a poll or something. Maybe put it on the forum if we decide to go for it.

Reviews:

Twain Apprentice:

Thanks as always for reviewing, glad you liked it. Hope you like Devils do cry.

stormANDjessi-626:

Hey no, it's cool, I was late myself, so I guess we even. Glad you thought it was amazing hopefully you'll think this one is, too.

Thanks for your time.

See you later.