Chapter 11: Maito Gai
Comments: There are TONS of things to do on Gai so I picked the very best to complain about.
To: Masashi Kishimoto
From: Maito Gai
I must be living in poverty to not be able to afford a decent barber. Poor little ole me has to slap a bowl over my head and trim it myself. And the perpetual shine? What's up with that? It gives the impression that my hair is greasy or oily. Very…icky.
And the spandex…sweet Mary, mother of god, the spandex. Have you noticed, on me especially, what spandex does to uh...erm…a well-endowed male? It looks like I'm smuggling fruit in my pants, for Christ's sake!
Bloom of youth? Dear god, man, I don't know about you, but my adolescence sucked. Great hairy monkey balls. Gravelly voice that squeaked and cut out. Giant Milky Ways of pimples and zits. Hair growing in places where there was NEVER hair before. I HATED my teenage years.
And last but certainly not least, the shine job on my teeth. Did I make a secret pact with my dentist or something? My top-secret ninja technique is to what…smile? It's like looking into the sun. One glance and you're temporarily blind.
Mask of Mirage