Chapter 11: Shattered
There are so many things that I could've done. So many things I could of said in this moment. But instead I think I just went numb. I don't think I quite comprehended what was even going on around me. The entire day had been a complete blur. It was full of emotions. Happiness, devastation, tears...I guess I just kept wondering which one I was supposed to be feeling on a day like today. I woke up this morning with my son by my side...feeling really protected and safe. I knew that every day, every week, every month that passes by...the pain will begin to lessen. The loss and senselisness of Finn's death will somehow fade and be filled with the realization that life goes on even after we're gone. It goes on in my memories of him. It goes on through our son. Something that I've been so grateful to have in my life. He is my sole reason for waking up every day and moving on with my life...no matter how difficult that seems some days. And I don't know what I would do without him in my life. He's my world now. He took over every part of my life. And a year ago, I probably couldn't have imagined giving up all my goals and dreams for another person to rely on me every single moment of the day. But right now, nothing else seems to really matter to me as much as my son does. And I know that I will always be thankful to him for bringing a light into my life again. Something I couldn't even imagine happening eight months ago.
As I stood in front of Kurt, seeing him with fear in his eyes, I felt like time stopped for a moment. He looked at me like in the same way he did when he told me Finn died. The same way he's been looking at me almost every day since. Seeing him this way, made my mind race. As if there was something even worse about to take place. But then I remembered what day it was, so I knew that we all have an excuse to be overly emotional. I don't think that this day of the month will ever go by without us feeling this sting of pain pierce through our hearts. It's the one thing that I fear will never vanish. But at the same time, it's a good thing. Because every time I feel it...I feel Finn right here with me. It makes me feel safer and closer to him than normal. And right now...I don't know if I can explain it, but it's almost like he's so close I can touch him. I can feel that protection that he always gave me. Something I hope lasts for the rest of my life.
"Kurt...it's okay. I understand...today is a tough day for all of us."
"Rach, no. It's not about Finn. I mean it is but...Rachel, it's about the baby."
"What? What's going on? Is he alright?"
"I...I'm so sorry. I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? Where is he? Let me just grab him, he'll be fine." I say, getting up and heading to the bedroom but Kurt grabs my shoulders from behind.
"Rachel, don't. Don't bother, he's not in there."
"Alright, where is he then?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"Finn's missing." Kurt says, and I feel my world fall around me.
"What are you talking about? What do you mean he's missing? He's a baby. He can't just get up and walk out of here himself."
"I don't know what happened. Blaine went and put him down for a nap in the bedroom. We had the baby monitor on, so we could hear him. We all were sitting in here...talking about Finn mostly. Trying to remember the good memories of him. Instead of just the loss. And I don't know what happened next. There was a knock on the door and that's the last thing I remember."
"What?"
"Someone knocked me, Blaine, and Santana out. When we woke up...Finn was gone. Rachel, I am so sorry. You trusted us...and I'm just so sorry." Kurt finishes, with tears streaming down his face.
"No...No! He is everything to me. Why would someone take my son?"
"I don't know. But we're gonna find him, Rachel. I promise you that."
"Oh my god, I feel like I can't even breathe right now. Where are Santana and Blaine?"
"They went out to look for him. I told them it was no use. But they wanted to go see if anybody saw something. And I called the police. They should've been here by now actually."
"I cannot believe that this is happening right now." I say, collapsing to the ground. Feeling similar pain to the one I've been feeling the last eight months.
"Rach...I'm really just so sorry."
"Stop saying that, Kurt! This isn't your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. I know you would protect that little boy with your life. I just don't understand why anybody would want to take my son? It doesn't make any sense to me." I say, sobbing.
"Me neither."
"I can't do this. I can't fall apart. Finn needs me. I have to stay strong, I have to find him." I say, standing up. And then there is a knock at the door.
"That has to be the cops. Took them long enough." Kurt says, walking over and opening the door. "Finally!"
"Hello. I'm Detective Logan Thompson, NYPD. There were a reports of a kidnapping?" the young officer asked us.
"Yes, my son. My son is gone. You have to find him. Please, I'll do anything to get him back." I say, tears streaming down my face.
"Alright, just calm down a second."
"Calm down? My son is missing. I have no reason to be calm."
"Okay, yes I understand that."
"Oh yeah. Do you have children Detective Thompson?"
"No...I don't."
"Alright then...you don't understand anything of what I'm feeling right now."
"I'm sorry. Just can someone tell me what happened here today?"
"I can." Kurt offers.
"Okay, tell me everything that happened."
"Okay...Rachel here, had asked me and my two roommates to watch the baby while she went out for a while. I was so happy to be able to spend some time with my nephew. I mean, he's amazing. Anyway, we put him down in the bedroom for a nap. And then there was this knock on the door. And then all three of us blacked out. And when we woke up...the baby was gone."
"So, you're saying you were drugged or something?"
"It had to be. We all woke up, collapsed on the ground. And we don't remember anything that happened."
"And where are the other two victims now?"
"They went to see if the neighbors saw something."
"Alright, not a bad idea. Did you see the person that came to the door? Can you give me a description?"
"Not really. They were wearing a mask. That much I remember. I didn't have much time to react. And I couldn't see their face. But it was definitely a male. Around 5'10 I'd say. I don't have anything else to go on here."
"Alright, well Rachel...is it? Sorry I didn't get your name."
"Yes, I'm Rachel. Rachel Berry."
"Okay. Ms. Berry, is there anyone you that could think of that would want to hurt your son? That would get something out of taking him?"
"No. No, he's a two month old little boy. Who would want to hurt an innocent baby?"
"Alright, then let me try a different approach here. Is there anyone that would want to hurt you?"
"I...I don't know. I don't think so. I'm not always the most likeable person in the world. But I don't have the kind of enemies that would intentionally want to hurt my little boy."
"Okay, what about your son's father? Does he have enemies?"
"My son's father died eight months ago. Eight months ago today actually. He never even knew him. Which is making this even worse right now?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't know all that."
"But Detective, you have to know...my brother didn't have an enemy in the world. He was one of the kindest, most incredible souls to ever live. There wasn't a single person that didn't like him. He didn't have enemies. He didn't hate people or intentionally cause conflict. That's not how he was built." Kurt interjects.
"Is there a possibility though, that your son's disappearance could have something to do with his father? Or is it just a coincidence that he's vanished on the anniversary of his death?"
"I don't know. I didn't really think about that. It could, it would make a little more sense I guess. But, I still don't know who would want to take him."
"Is there someone that would want to hurt you more than you've already been hurt?"
"Rachel, do you really think this has to do with Finn?"
"I don't know, Kurt. I have to think of the possibility though."
"Alright, well maybe you could take a minute. Just think of some people that could want to hurt you or your son. Or your late boyfriend...his family."
"Yeah, sure."
"And in the mean time, I'm gonna get an amber alert out there."
"Thank you."
"I'm just gonna need your son's name. A description of him. And if you have a picture, it would be great."
"Yeah, of course. His name is Finn Aaron Hudson. He's just about three months old. He's got a little bit of light brown hair. And beautiful brown eyes. He was wearing a baby blue outfit, with a little football emblem on the top. Right by his chest. And here, this is a picture from just a couple days ago. He's almost smiling for the first time." I say, handing over the picture that I grabbed from my purse, as the tears start flowing. And then the cop picks up his phone to call it in.
"I'm gonna need to get an APB and Amber Alert on a two month baby..." the detective says, walking outside of the loft.
"Oh my god, Kurt. Who would want to take him?"
"Do you really think that there is a connection to Finn in all this?"
"I don't know. But the more I think about it...do you think it's just a coincidence? That my son disappears on the anniversary of Finn's death?"
"I honestly don't know."
"I think that there is something else going on here. And I'm really starting to believe that it's all connected. Someone wants to see me in pain. And today...is the perfect day to do that. I was vulnerable to begin with. But taking mine and Finn's son...whoever did this, knew that would be the last thing to destroy me. I have find him, Kurt. I can't lose him. I just can't."
"We're gonna get your son back. I promise you that. If it's the last thing I do." He reassures me, pulling me into a hug.
"Rachel..." Blaine says, walking through the door.
"I'm so sorry." Santana adds.
"It's not your fault guys. I trusted you with his life...I still do. Right now, I just need to focus on finding him."
"Well, going out in this neighborhood was no use." Blaine tells us.
"I told you that." Kurt tells them.
"It's pretty unbelievable to me that not a single one of those normally nosey neighbors didn't see a thing. I swear, if I find out that one of them withheld information from us...I'm gonna go all Lima Heights on their asses."
"Thanks, Santana. That means a lot actually. But right now...I need to figure out who would take him. Who would want to see me suffer?"
"Well, you're definitely not the greatest person to be around sometimes. And people don't always like you..."
"Santana!" Blaine and Kurt say in unison.
"I didn't mean that in a bad way. What I was getting to was...that people can't always take your crazy personality. And your confidence in that talent of yours can be really annoying. But I don't think anyone would use that against your son."
"Yeah, what about Finn?"
"What are you talking about?" She asks, confused.
"The detective brought up the point that there might be someone that wants to either hurt me. Or has a connection to Finn?"
"No one ever hated Finn, though. I don't think it was really possible." Blaine says.
"Yeah, that's what we think. But right now, I'm willing to look into anything."
"Do you think we should call my dad and Carole?" Kurt asks.
"No. Not yet. There's no need to make this day worse for them if we don't have to."
"But maybe Carole could think of someone that would want to hurt Finn's son?"
"Just not yet, okay."
"Alright. Whatever you wanna do, Rachel." Kurt says, and suddenly the phone rings.
"Oh my god, Finn." I say, running over and grabbing it from the table. "Hello?"
"Well, hello Rachel...I think I might have something that belongs to you." A clearly disguised man's voice says on the other end.
"Who is this? Do you have my son?"
"So many questions. So little time for you."
"Whoever you are, just give me my son back. I'll do anything."
"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?"
"What do you want?"
"I'm gonna call back in thirty minutes with instructions. If you do anything to trace this call or the cops come anywhere near here...you'll never see your son again. Good luck." He says, as the line goes dead.