11. Heavy Hearts

1

It had been a long walk back down to the slums, her pacing heart heavy with sorrow. If not for the emotional crescendo Tifa Lockhart felt mounting up within her mind she felt she might have given in to the empty desolation of madness.

How could this have happened?

After Barret and her had met up with the others and then started their surreptitious walk down the circling tracks to the slums, Tifa had truly felt like she was losing her mind. Cloud had been back in her life for roughly a week, and she had promised herself that she would look after his well-being.

And what have I done for him, she thought, other than watch him fall to his death?

At the point of the walk where they reached the floor of the slums, still ten minutes or so from the Seventh Heaven, Barret had tried to console her, even though she could see the mixed range of emotions on his face as he did so.

"Don't, Barret . . ." she said meekly.

He continued, "It's just . . ." But his words trailed off, and once again he seemed lost in a trance like the others.

Tifa wanted to appreciate his concern, but she couldn't – she couldn't feel anything but pain, knowing that she'd failed the only important thing she'd had to do in the past few years of her life.

They soon left the dismal sights of the train station behind them, none of them speaking a word.

Passing the various shacks and scattered mounds of trash, they soon found themselves in front of the hideout, silence still as overpowering here as it was on the walk down, as if the news of Cloud's death had reached the ears of the others in the area.

While Barret walked over to retrieve Marlene from Johnny's parents' house down the row, and Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie ran inside the bar, Tifa silently sat down on the steps of an abandoned shack.

"Cloud," she whispered, still not truly believing what had happened to her childhood friend.

He had said to be strong, to not lose hope. But what hope was left when you've taken a thousand foot plunge onto the hardened soil of the slums?

Wait a minute . . .

She was up on her feet in an instant.

He fell somewhere in Sector 5.

Knowing that she was certainly building up false hope within her mind, she raced across the way to the bar.

2

"Tifa . . . I really don't think you wanna see his . . ." Barret said, before trailing off. All of them were back in the hideout now, and all of them knew Barret had intended to finish with the word 'body'. Instead he finished, "You don't wanna be lookin' for him, Tifa."

"But Cloud is so strong," Tifa pleaded.

"Don't matter how strong you are," Barret said.

Biggs nodded. "Yeah, Tifa. That's a thousand foot drop."

Tifa persisted, "But Cloud . . . he's different." She looked at each of them, aware that Jessie hadn't said a word since she'd been told about Cloud's fall. Tifa continued, "Something happened to him . . . before we were reunited. I don't know what it was, but it changed him."

Wedge shrugged. "Tifa, that doesn't mean anything. After a fall from that far up . . ." He took a breath and continued, "There's no hope."

Tifa felt tears flooding her eyes. "But there has to be. It can't end like this!" She stormed off, exiting the bar.

When she had reached the main path in front of the hideout she found herself staring up at the plate above her.

That is really high up, she thought. How can I pretend to have hope when I know surviving something like that is impossible?

She heard movement behind her and assumed Barret or one of the others had come out after her.

"I've just got this feeling," she said aloud. "Something inside of me is whispering that Cloud is still alive."

After she spoke she waited for some form of consolation from one of the others, but when she heard nothing save for the same rustling noise from before she quickly spun on her heels.

"Hey!" she screamed, seeing a black-clad man staring out at her from under the porch.

Clumsily he crawled out on his hands and knees, grinning stupidly. "Sorry, lady." The man got to his feet, and then looked her body over with apparent approval. Shrugging, he said, "Bad habit, ya know?"

Barret and the others had heard her scream and had rushed out. They now stood in a group, staring at Tifa and the strange man.

"What the hell's going on here?" Barret hollered.

The man held his hands up. "Hey now . . . I already apologized for lookin' at the girl."

Tifa turned to the others. "It's repulsive . . . he was staring at me from under the porch."

Barret stood his ground, visibly fuming, but Biggs and Wedge slowly stepped down off of the porch, circling the man.

"Listen," the black-clad man began, "I don't want no trouble."

Wedge laughed. "Then why the hell are you still standing here?"

The man nodded. "Right . . . I'll just be leaving then . . ."

He began to walk away when Barret leaped off the porch, grasped his shoulder, and said, "Wait just a sec . . ."

Color drained out of the man's face. "What . . . what is it?" He looked from Barret's face to his intimidating gunarm.

Barret stared hard at the man, and then turned to the others. "I don't think this guy really belongs here in Sector 7."

Nodding, Biggs said, "Yeah . . . let's send him packin'!"

"Please," the man begged, "I'm sorry, okay? Just let me go."

Barret laughed. "I don't think so, pal. You see . . . when I said I didn't think you belonged here in Sector 7, I really meant that I don't think you belong in the slums at all."

Stepping forward, Tifa asked, "Barret, what's going on?"

Jessie finally broke her silence, understanding Barret's actions. "A spy?"

"No!" the man squealed. "I'm not . . ."

"Shut it," Barret yelled, cutting him off. "I'm already tired of your goddamn babble."

"But I'm not . . ." the man continued, struggling to break free of Barret's firm grasp.

Barret smiled and looked to Wedge. "Hey, Wedge?"

"Yeah, boss?"

"Could you shut this guy up for me?"

Smiling, Wedge replied, "Sure," and then slammed his knuckles into the back of the man's head.

As the spy collapsed to the ground Tifa took a step back and took a breath. She had been so overwhelmed with thoughts of Cloud that she hadn't seen right through the man's phony disguise.

As the others lifted the man and carried him into the bar, Tifa whispered, "Cloud . . . I'll find you . . . I know you're all right. Somehow I know." She paused, making her way back into the hideout. "Somehow I know . . ."

In her heart she knew that she wanted to go to Sector 5 right now, but if the black-clad man really was a spy, then there were other problems at hand.

Before she took the final step into the bar she promised herself that after this current situation had been taken care of that she would go to Sector 5 and search for Cloud, regardless of what Barret and the others thought – after all, she knew Cloud better than any of them, didn't she?

But what she didn't know was how serious the current situation was about to become . . .