Chapter 11—Suspicious Minds

I sit at the cafeteria table a little longer before I throw my plate away and head back to the room and face Christian again. I don't know what it is about our relationship, but I feel like the more we talk to each other the harder it is to understand him. Like what was with that I just want to get to know you better thing? Couldn't he get to know me better by not asking weird questions?

But do you really want him to get to know you better? I guess him knowing me better won't be such a good thing considering then my cover will be blown and who knows what would happen after that. Sighing, I get up and toss my empty plate into the trash and turn around and almost slam my face right into a hard chest. I look up and see Luke staring down at me with a smirk on his face.

I give him a lame wave and awkward smile as I stare up at him. "Oh, hey, Luke. I—I didn't see you there," I tell him as I back up to gain some space.

He crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at me with that smirk still on his face. "Hey, Andy. I left my wallet in here by accident." He holds up the leather fold. "I was just coming back to get it." He continues to stare at me, and the expression on his face makes me feel uneasy.

I clear my throat and begin to fidget as he looks down at me. "Okay, well, I, um, I should get going. You know, uh, sleep, and study. I mean get ready for the fundraiser. And . . . yeah, so bye." I wave and dash out of the cafeteria not even glancing back to see if he's looking at me like I'm an idiot. You are an idiot!

I get to the hallway where my and Christian dorm is and just lean against the wall for a moment. Why do I feel like Luke knows that I'm not really a boy? What will he say or do when or if he finds out? Will he tell on me? Will I be sent back to Nevada? I rub my hand down my face and through my short, straggly hair and try to take a deep breath to calm my raging thoughts. Maybe I should just talk to him and ask him what he knows, and if he tells me he knows my secret then make him promise not to say anything? But what if he doesn't know anything, and I give him hints and he figures it out then?

Ugh, I don't know what to do. I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes, wishing for a moment that I was somewhere safe where I didn't have to lie about anything and I could just be myself without judgement or being scrutinized for looking a certain way.

I straighten away from the wall and turn to open the door. When I step into the room Christian immediately looks at me and then looks back down at his notebook. Feeling suddenly exhausted, I don't even pay attention to him as I grab my pajamas and head to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, and then leave the bathroom to snuggle into bed. I face away from Christian so my back is to him and close my eyes, wanting to put this weird day behind me.

But as life would have it, I can never get what I really want when Christian calls out to me.

"Yeah?" I answer, still facing away from him.

"Why do you always get dressed in the bathroom?"

I pause for a moment as I try to think about what to say, but he continues to talk. "I mean, I'm not judging you or anything, but I mean—I think—uh, I just want you to know that you don't have to be embarrassed about your body. We may all look different but we essentially have the same thing, and I know it has to be exhausting being self-conscious all the time."

If I didn't have a crush on the boy before, I definitely do know. How ironic is it I was just saying I wished to live in a non-judgmental place, and then he tells me this. I feel myself smile a little bit and wish just for a moment I was a normal girl and we were in a normal setting and I could tell him how I really feel about him.

"Okay," I simply say, and then close my eyes, thinking that just for a little while, maybe everything will be alright.

….

I wake up the next morning feeling rested but not ready to leave my bed, especially knowing Victoria is waiting for me somewhere, wanting to introduce me to her parents and anxious to get me alone so she can show me that she's the type of girl I'm supposed to be into. I shiver at the thought, knowing that even if I really was a boy, she still wouldn't be my type.

There's a knock on the door, and I glance over and see Christian still snoozing away, his face relaxed and beautiful. I smile when I notice his lips are slightly parted and a low snore escapes from his mouth. I could watch him sleep all day, and I want to, until someone knocks on the door again reminding me that I should probably answer it.

I slide out of bed and trudge to the door, opening it and finding Ethan on the other side, surprisingly sans Colten.

"Hey," he says, looking at me with a blank expression.

"Hi," I say back simply, staring at him, wondering what he wants.

"I came here to tell Christian something but I can see he's still asleep," he tells me glancing halfway into the room and looking at Christian as he stays oblivious to the world.

"I'll tell him if you want," I say with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Uh, okay, well his parents are here, they came in early with my parents, and his mom told my mom that she's expecting Christian to be in the field early to help with the setup. And well, everyone knows that it's not the best idea to get on Mrs. Grey's bad side."

I nod my head as I think about seeing everyone else's family and yet I'll have no one. Stop acting as if that's a bad thing, you don't want your mother and that bastard here embarrassing you. I sigh and clear my mind, focusing on what Ethan is saying to me.

"So you should probably wake him up soon. I wouldn't put it past his mom to barge in here and drag him out by the ear."

I nod my head, an amused smirk on my face as I imagine Christian's mom literally dragging him around the school just by his ear. "Sure, I'll wake him up before ten."

"Cool," Ethan says. "I'll see you around, Andy." He waves good bye before turning away and heading back down the hall. I close the door and stand there for a moment, thinking that Ethan really isn't so bad after all and maybe he really did mean his apology, but I still don't trust Colten. I wonder where he was; he and Ethan are usually always glued at the hip.

I glance over at the clock reading the digital numbers and think I have enough time to take a shower and get dressed before I have to wake up Christian or watch him face the wrath of his formidable sounding mother. I chuckle to myself at the thought, and then my amusement fades away when I realize I'll be meeting a few other students' parents, and that may not be a good thing. Adults are usually always more perceptive than adolescents, what if they see right through me immediately and rat me out to Principal O'Brien?

I try to push the worrisome thought to the back of my mind as I hop into the shower and then get dressed. When I'm smelling like Dove for men and have minty fresh breath, I hurry and put what I'm hoping is presentable enough clothing for the fundraiser today and stand on the side of Christian's bed as I stare down at him. I say his name and lightly tap on his shoulder, hoping that he'll wake up with the added small touch. Surprise, surprise he's still snoring away. I poke him a little harder. Still nothing. I even flick him on the ear, but his eyes don't even do so much as twitch.

"Christian," I say louder. Still nothing.

I try shaking his shoulder, but he still doesn't wake up. I step back and look down at him as I think of another way that could get him up. Maybe a glass of water would work? Or maybe a blow horn? Oh, what about that one kids snake? I snort, thinking of how I would even get the demon serpent in here when I'm too scared to even look at the thing.

Looking down I take a deep breath, and think maybe the best way to get him awake is just to take away his comfort. Grabbing the edges of his comforter, I pull hard. But apparently I over estimated how much strength I would need and end up falling flat on my back, taking Christian's comforter and Christian down with me. We both fall to the floor with a groan, and I open my eyes to find his already looking at me.

"What the hell, Steele?" he mumbles as he finds his feet again.

"I—I was trying to wake you up," I explain as he stands above me and runs his hands through his hair and down his face. I watch his muscles move under his skin and feel myself leaning on my elbows as I just gaze up at him.

He stops moving and looks down at me. "What?" he asks, giving me a weird look.

I blink rapidly and sit up, remembering where I am and who I'm supposed to be. You're a girl disguised as a straight boy, not a gay one! Stop drooling!

"Uh, I—nothing. Just that, um, you should probably get ready, Ethan came by and said your mother is here."

"My mother is here?" Christian all but shouts. "Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. The woman is going to kill me!"

I try to hold in my giggles as he runs around the room like a headless chicken, gathering what he needs before he runs to the bathroom and slams the door behind him. I stand up and throw his comforter back onto his bed.

Well the days already off to a rather unusual start. I can only hope it doesn't go downhill from here.

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