—Jennifer—

I take my time getting ready. Besides, if Josh is insistent on taking me out then I have an excuse to actually put on make up and look my best. I settle on a pair of denim slacks with a lacy white tank top, and I grab my favorite white blazer to layer over it. I check myself in the mirror one last time, straightening out one of my unruly curls before slipping on my brown heels and walking into the living room.

Josh is on the edge of the couch, enthralled in a football game when I find him. He looks up at me with a smile.

"You clean up nice."

"Seems like I've heard that one before." I say, remembering Josh in my living room in a drunken stupor not so long ago.

Josh sighs, hanging his head. "Don't remind me."

"So what is Vanessa now? Dust in the wind?"

"Something like that." He says, turning off the television with the remote and hopping off the couch.

"So where are you taking me, Hutcherson?" I question curiously, grabbing my purse and keys off the table.

"It's a surprise," Josh says as he pulls open the door and I follow him out to his car.

His BMW is spotless as usual, he probably spent all day yesterday washing and waxing it. It's his baby, next to his motorcycles. He opens the door to the passenger side for me and I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

"Are you afraid I'm going to run back inside, Josh?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I'm just a gentleman." He shrugs with a smirk as he closes the door and walks around to the driver's side, getting in.

He's quiet for a few minutes as we drive and I relax into the seat, looking out the window and trying to figure out where we're going. As soon as we hit the California 1-10 I decide we're going to the coast and soon I find myself face to face with Venice Beach. It's quiet here, mostly residential and honestly, it's perfect.

Josh comes around the car and pulls open my door with a smile. "You can't pee in the water here but I figured we could walk down to the pier and get some pizza."

"That sounds great," I say, grabbing my phone and sliding it in my pocket.

I take my shoes off, letting my toes sink into the cool sand as we walk down the beach toward the fishing pier.

"If I had anything to do with your split from Nick, I'm really sorry. I just want to see you happy, Jen. That's all, I swear."

I'm taken back by his words, the last thing I want to do is talk about Nick but I guess I can't put it off forever. "No, it was a lot of things. He—he asked me to move to Manhattan with him and I couldn't do it. I just wasn't ready and I have felt like he's held that against me for months. I guess we just wanted different things right now."

Josh looks surprised and maybe relieved. "Then what do you want? What would make you happy, Jennifer?"

The waves are crashing in the background but I can hardly hear them because my mind is spinning at the question Josh poses. The look in his eyes is so sincere though, it makes me want to answer him honestly but I guess the truth is I'm not even sure myself. I found myself looking down at the sand as I try to figure out what I want to say but as usual, words flow from my lips before my mind can filter them.

"I honestly don't know. I guess, I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me. Someone who understands that I'm in no rush to settle down and have a family yet and respects that instead of holding it against me. That's.. the short version, I guess," I mumble.

"I understand that," Josh says when I finally look up at him. "Just live in the moment and enjoy life. You shouldn't have to rush into anything."

I shrug. "So what about you and Vanessa?"

Josh sighs. "Yeaaaaah, that was doomed for a while. I haven't talked to her since before Christmas."

I laugh quietly because any time Vanessa came up with me and Josh it was always on the rocks.

"What?" He says, grinning.

"Is that a record?" I smirk slightly.

"Maybe."

I nudge his shoulder playfully as we approach the steps up to the pier and make our way up the old wooden planks. Once we get our pizza we walk down the pier and sit on the wooden bench built into the side. It's quiet and calm and as I look out over the ocean I'm glad that Josh forced me out of the condo.

"This definitely beats coffee on the couch," I admit, taking a bite of pizza. Josh has already finished his piece and he takes a long drink of his Coke as he looks up at me.

"Thanks," I continue and he nods.

"My pleasure."

We finish eating and walks down the pier until we reach the end. I hang over the side slightly, trying to see the water below us. Josh grabs my hips from behind, his fingers trailing beneath my blazer, as I lean over and gives me a little push making me feel like I'm going to go plunging over.

"Oh my God!" I scream.

Just as quick though, his hands grip my sides and pull me back into him. My breath hitches as our bodies come into contact and a laugh slips through my lips as I melt backwards into him.

We stay that way for a few minutes with neither of us moving away from the other. It feels good and even though I know I shouldn't, I relish the feel of him, the smell of him, and I wait for him to pull away.

When he finally does I feel like the air around us is buzzing and, naturally, I have to break the silence.

"Are you trying to drown me, Hutcherson? Put me out of my misery?"

"No, I'm trying to save you," he says without missing a beat. The way my heart seems to pound against my chest, as he licks his lips and grins, makes me have to resist the urge of leaning in and pressing my lips against his.

"Maybe I don't need saving," I say, fighting back all those feelings.

"You will if I throw you over," he chuckles running his hands back down my sides and I don't fight it, instead I lean against the edge of the pier and look out across the sparkling ocean. It would be pretty cold down there, probably sixty degrees but that doesn't stop the surfers in the distance.

"You know I'm a great swimmer. I won't need saving," I repeat as he releases my sides and leans casually against the wood next to me.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to be a surfer?" he asks, looking at my from the corner of his eye.

"You... a surfer? Was that around the time you wanted to be part of N'Sync, JT?" I say facetiously.

"No, definitely after that dream faded."

"I think you should stick with acting. I've heard you sing and I've seen you paddleboard... and cough up salt water for ten minutes."

"Shut up," he says and I laugh.

We stand there discussing Josh's near death experience with surfing with his buddy, Avan, and for a little while I manage to forget the suffocating pain in my chest. In fact, I don't think about Nick at all that afternoon but I don't realize that until I'm alone in my condo again that night.

That night I lay in bed and I can't help but think about the way it felt when Josh's hands trailed across my hips. The way it felt when his body was so close against mine and I feel a new ache now which only leaves me more confused. I've never really had a rebound relationship and I can't help but wonder if I'm so starved for affection that I'm making Josh into that. At the same time, though, I find my hand trailing between my legs at the thought of being that close to Josh again. Visions of what it would feel like without so many layers of fabric between us. I make myself roll over and don't allow myself to think that way anymore. Josh is one of my best friends and I don't want to ruin that.