A Note from the Author: Obviously, first and foremost, there are manga spoilers ahead. I also have a disclaimer - the vast majority of this chapter is paraphrasing the events in Chapter 58, 'Gunfire'. I make no claim to this section of plot as my own - I merely came in and interpreted it from Jean's point of view and added or embellished a few details - the rights rest solely with Hajime Isayama. Same goes for the chapter title, which is taken from the proceeding Chapter 59; it just so happened to fit perfectly.

Chapter 11: A Monster's Soul

"They'll likely hold the trial as quickly as possible," said Armin. "Maybe even by tomorrow morning. I don't think they want the Survey Corps to be around any longer than necessary, now they know we're on to them." To continue their undercover walk he drew ahead again with the cart, leaving Jean, Mikasa, Connie and Sasha behind on horseback along with the spares.

With Erwin now in custody, that means tomorrow 'Cee will have to take aim, and make her decision, Jean reflected. And Hange's already gone to tell her. His head bowed to keep his troubled expression from the others; the hat he'd donned to help disguise him while they were in Stohess helped. He initially hadn't been sure whether to tell them anything about what Mercedes had been asked to do and thankfully their own mission was too engrossing to warrant worrying them further. Plus, the fewer people that knew, the fewer that could be tortured for information about her involvement if everything fell apart.

According to plan, horses were exchanged and their formerly split squad had regrouped. A few steps ahead trundled the casket wagon which they were convinced held Eren and Historia, but now the sound of its wheels over the pristine cobbles contended with the sound of distant gunfire. The group looked behind them in worry in the direction of the gate. Where were Captain Levi and the others?

"The gunfire is getting closer," Sasha warned. "I don't understand. They can't fire guns and chase us using their gear at the same time, right?" her voice became reedy and as she turned her head to the side, her heavy breathing disturbed the hood she'd pulled over her head. Jean, however, knew better than to mistake her adrenaline kicking in for fear.

He glanced over at Mikasa, whose eyes were trained desperately on the wagon that was quickly disappearing out of sight. If they lingered they may lose it. "Keep calm," Jean said, though he wasn't so sure himself. "The Military Police shouldn't be able to keep up with the Captain, or anyone using their gear. The gunfire suggests they're on foot. We should stay focused on the wagon." He rapidly began to consider if they should split up again, if only briefly.

Suddenly they spotted Captain Levi, in only his long-sleeved white shirt, casting lines and soaring through the Stohess gate. He was followed by others using gear except…except they appeared to be wielding guns. Nifa was nowhere to be seen.

Jean squinted through his stupor. Shit. They were indeed firing both lines and bullets.

"How is that possible?" he heard Connie exclaim.

The casket wagon was momentarily forgotten as within moments, Levi and his four pursuers were passing overhead. Another few seconds and even through the hail of bullets, Levi had swung in for the kill. One pursuer was cut cleanly in half; his blood pattered on the roof eaves nearby. Somewhere, children had begun to shout in surprise.

Levi passed overhead again and seemed to spot them. He made a gesture Jean couldn't quite make out.

"It's a signal!" Connie said.

"Let's go to the left," Mikasa elaborated.

They caught up with Armin and their cart; the hooded blond was glancing behind him anxiously and as if on cue, Levi landed in the cart bed with a loud thud of footsteps. The cart horses skittered a little but Armin soon reined them in. The group picked up speed and civilians cried out and threw themselves out of the way. Levi didn't stow his blades and a gash on his head was bleeding – they both glistened in the sun. The group rode closer to hear his words.

"…stop following the casket wagon," he was ordering Armin. "We'll have to leave Historia and Eren for now. Our movements have been seen through." He looked at the others. "Nifa and the others that accompanied me were killed – we've been lured out in the hopes they can kill all that remains of the Survey Corps here and now. It's a trap." He swiped blood from his brow irritably and changed position, glancing around for the other three Military Police that had vanished – for now.

Jean's first thought went to Mercedes. If they'd been led into a trap, then by default so would she. If they'd seen through Squad Levi's plan, then surely it wouldn't take them long to trace her? If they all died here, she wouldn't be any the wiser. She'd have no idea what was lying in wait for her tomorrow morning. She'd be gunned down in the streets…

"Jean –"

Jean was brought back to attention by Levi's voice.

"– return fire from here."

"Understood," he agreed and tried to keep his frantic brain where it belonged. He didn't waste any time in bringing his horse alongside the cart, swinging a leg over, and dismounting. He wasn't as accomplished a rider as Sasha or Mercedes and so the cart would provide an easier shot. His horse along with the others were guided by Sasha and Connie, and the herd dropped back. Likewise, he watched as Mikasa and Levi took to the air to cover their escape.

As they rounded a bend in the road, several more figures with gear that Jean could only assume were Military Police sprung into view on the right. They sailed over the rooftops and joined a second wave of others that had risen directly behind – as they descended Levi and Mikasa rose to meet them. Jean readied his rifle and took up position near to Armin. More bullets fired; more people sliced to ribbons.

Jean watched the body fall away from Levi's expert strike. "Is this what we have to do, now?" he asked himself through gritted teeth. "Human killing human? This isn't how it's supposed to be." He sighted along his rifle. Is this what Mercedes had thought and felt this whole time? Is this what she'd seen? Suddenly he understood her urge to run. Does she still think of them all as the true evil even today and if so, is that why she's going to do as Commander Erwin requested? Jean felt his hands shaking and not from the ride. It had dawned on him. He must have suspected this could happen – that this ugliness would rear its head and we'd succumb to it. That's why he chose Mercedes – she'd feel compelled to end it. But if she comes here…whether she succeeds or fails, she's going to be killed. I've got to stop this – stop her. But how?

The dozen figures drew closer and closer to their small convoy and practically surrounded them. Bullets ricocheted off the street and pummeled into wood. The rattle of the cart wheels was deafening. Jean returned a couple of shots and was startled by the sound of Armin crying out in horror. He turned, saw the female soldier bearing down on his friend with a gun, and then Mikasa fell on her with a heavy swoop and felled her with a kick to the neck before sailing away. The soldier collapsed into the bed of the cart behind Armin.

Jean had his rifle trained on her in an instant. "Don't move!" he shouted as he noticed her twitch.

The young woman looked up and over her shoulder at him, blood streaming from her nose. She had dark, bright eyes that reminded him of Mercedes'. She looked familiar. His finger applied more pressure to the trigger but he couldn't bring himself to pull it, even though he knew he should.

Am I the monster 'Cee thinks we all are?

"Jean?" Armin prompted incredulously.

Though Jean repeated his earlier command, the soldier pushed herself into a crouch and with a violent, abrupt swing, knocked his rifle from his hand. The cart took another sharp turn and unbalanced him – he fell against the back of the cart and stared up the barrel of her gun into the soldier's face.

She hesitated. Her expression was one of reluctance.

Is this woman a monster, either?

Then he saw the minute tense and rise of her hand as she prepared to fire –

Her skull was exploded by a bullet and as she fell out of the cart, her gun merely tipped the hat from Jean's head. In horrified gratitude he looked at Armin, who was still holding out the pistol. He seemed momentarily appalled at what he'd done, but that soon changed into anger and determination. He turned back to the road. "We're close to escaping!" he yelled.

Later that night, outside the run-down shack of a building in the small forest in which they'd hidden, Jean took over Mikasa's watch. The low voices of the others died away as he pulled the door closed behind him. Above him, just visible through the trees, was the bright coin of a rising gibbous moon on the crumpled navy cloth of a sky. An owl had begun to hoot and distantly, there was the trickle of a brook.

Jean reflected on Captain Levi's earlier words, and what had happened during the escape. He'd allowed himself to be distracted and it had nearly cost him his life – not to mention that Armin now had blood on his hands as a result. They all did, granted – who knows how many Military Police soldiers, who were just following orders, had been killed? – but Jean had always hoped that out of all of them, Armin would be spared from becoming a criminal.

The door creaked open again. "Jean? You all right?"

Jean glanced over his shoulder at Armin. "Yeah," he gave a half-hearted smile. "Better now. You?"

"I guess." He came outside and shut the door, wandered over to join Jean in the small clearing between the building and the forest. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Before I do, I want you to know it's not an accusation – I don't blame you for anything – I –"

"Just ask, Armin," Jean laughed to himself.

Armin began slowly, "It's not like you to be distracted like that. What happened?"

After a pause, Jean said, "A couple of things." He debated how much to tell Armin about his worries for Mercedes. "I recognized that soldier. The one you…saved me from."

The pair turned and began to walk one leg of the perimeter. The moonlight cast shadows of the trees onto their bodies and the path in front of them.

"You did?" Armin asked sadly.

"Yeah. It took me a while, but I finally remembered where I'd seen her before. It was at our Disbanding Ceremony – she was with 'Cee as part of the Western Division."

"Really?"

"If she was Military Police, that'd make her the Tenth that Mercedes had referred to back then, since their Sixth is her squadmate Fhalz. None of their other ranking classmen survived Trost." Jean's head bowed. "And now it's just the two of them."

There was a long pause, in which they turned the corner to patrol the back of the building. Some small creature scampered out of the way, rustling leaves underfoot as it did so.

"Do we know what her name was?" Armin asked.

Jean frowned. "No. Maybe Mercedes remembers." He glanced up at the moon. "She probably remembers."

Armin let fall another weighty pause. "Recognizing that soldier wasn't all of it, though," he said. "You've been half-here for the past couple of days, ever since you got back from visiting 'Cee. You haven't slept much since then, either."

The temptation to tell his friend was strong; gruesomely, the thought that held Jean back from confessing it all was that he wasn't so sure if the slighter young man would hold up under torture, and not confess it himself. He didn't want to put more on Armin's shoulders than he already had today. How was he supposed to share with him the burden of knowing tomorrow morning, Mercedes might kill the King or at the very least, testify or become accomplice in the revolution by securing the escape of fugitives? How was he supposed to explain to Armin that something in his gut was telling him that she was being set up by Commander Erwin, of all people - that he was likely preying on, counting on, the fallout from the trauma she still hadn't completely overcome? And that furthermore, even if they did succeed with their plan and the revolution occurred, that there was yet another Titan – a Burning Titan – to deal with somehow that the Commander hadn't seen fit to tell them about?

"Jean?" Armin prompted. "You're hiding something."

They turned the corner and paused in the shadow of the building. Jean could smell the tiny white flowers on a nearby overgrown bush with glossy leaves and wished instead that it was the smell of plums caught in Mercedes' hair. Armin was looking at him sternly. He had to tell him something. Luckily, Armin was the only one he felt comfortable talking to about Mercedes so if he had to admit what he was about to admit, better that it be to him.

"I did go to see her, yeah," he began. His heart beat rapidly against his ribs as he remembered their conversation, their kiss. "Against all odds, despite our best efforts, turns out I love her," he shrugged, averting his eyes in and feeling his face flush with embarrassment, "and she loves me." It was still hard to believe that last part but it nonetheless managed to set off a firework in his chest every time he remembered her saying it, even in dark times like this. "The rest I can't tell you right now. Please believe me when I say it's for the best."

"That's great news!" Armin managed to smile broadly and shook his shoulder a little. "I'm happy for you!"

Jean smiled back, but grimly. "And because of that, we need to get this revolution over and done with as soon as possible – before she gets in too deep."