Chapter Eleven: Bite the Bullet
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: so hows vriska after her beating
EB: i don't know, i haven't talked to her.
EB: she dumped some kinda heavy stuff on me on christmas and i haven't really spoken to her since.
TG: oh man
TG: i thought you were the one who took her to ms paints afterwards
EB: um…no.
TG: weird
TG: so youre that mad at her
EB: i'm not mad at her
EB: i just
EB: i don't know.
TG: doesn't seem like she really knows either
EB: i feel like she was just trying to get my attention
EB: or deliberately trying to make me jealous by wanting to kiss tavros
EB: which sucks for everyone involved
TG: are you jealous though
EB: a little!
EB: not that it really matters
EB: she can do whatever she wants i guess
TG: dude
TG: just ask her out if you like her so much
EB: i thought you thought she's dangerous.
TG: yeah i do actually
TG: but listen i know I told you to stay away from her but i cant really stand you being so mopey and sad
EB: what?
TG: youre my friend i want you to be happy
EB: ha
EB: gay
TG: yeah that's me
EB: how's that going, by the way?
TG: what
EB: your thing with karkat
EB: you two are like, boyfriends or something, right?
TG: man what
TG: no hes not my boyfriend
TG: were just
TG: hanging out
TG: idk
EB: lol why are you so embarrassed?
TG: shut up
TG: shut up is why
EB: and here i thought you were the super-slick coolkid
EB: and you know
EB: karkat's pretty adorable
EB: er
EB: strictly speaking from an aesthetic viewpoint.
TG: dude
TG: whos gay now
EB: still probably you!
EB: the one literally dating another guy!
TG: nah
TG: youre one of us
TG: i have proof now
EB: pffft
EB: whatever.
TG: you right tho
EB: about what?
TG: karkat being adorable
TG: dont you dare screenshot that
EB: too late!
EB: i am so tempted to send this to rose.
TG: dude seriously don't
TG: every time i try to talk to her about this shit
TG: assuming shell understand the whole 'dating the same gender' thing
TG: she does her pseudo therapist thing
EB: oh man
EB: i hate when she does that
TG: shes always talking about toxic masculinity or some shit
TG: anyway
TG: back to the important thing which is not me and my relationship or lack thereof because were definitely NOT BOYFRIENDS
TG: ask vriska out or something
TG: you guys have been doing this wishy washy 'will they wont they' bullshit for a while
TG: worse than ross and rachel
EB: you watched friends?
TG: ironically
TG: ross is a shitlord anyway
EB: he kind of is, actually.
TG: but yeah fucking do it already
EB: :B
EB: i'll think about it.
TG: k good luck dude
turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
Dave was probably right. John hadn't spoken to Vriska in a couple of months, since Christmas, and it was early February. Oh! Valentine's Day, John realized. That would be perfect. John still wasn't sure if it was a good idea to ask Vriska out, but if he was honest with himself, he was tired of thinking about it so much. He'd had a crush on her practically since they first met, and he was still kicking himself for not biting the bullet and asking her to Homecoming. At least he'd gotten to dance with her. And, Vriska was starting to change, it seemed, owning up to her mistakes instead of wearing them proudly like badges of accomplishment. John was done listening to Karkat. His resolve was set.
John didn't want to waste any time, once he'd finally made up his mind. The first class of the day that he shared with Vriska was P.E., and that wasn't until 3rd period, so he sat through his first two classes in a fit of nerves. But it was less jarring than it had been before, because at least he knew Vriska liked him. That had more or less been confirmed, especially if Karkat was showing some kind of concern. Karkat was some kind of romance expert, and he wouldn't have issued a warning against Vriska unless he thought there was a chance that she was reciprocating John's feelings. Right? John was reasoning with himself, attempting to find some kind of assurance against the fear of rejection. He made his way outside from the locker room, notably passing Karkat and Gamzee as he did so, and found Vriska outside, looking uncharacteristically morose.
"Uh… hey, Vriska," he said, not sure what he should be feeling at that point. Anxiety was threatening to turn his entire stomach into one solid knot. Vriska jumped a bit, then turned to face him.
"Oh! Hey, John!" she said, attempting to show some kind of enthusiasm. "What's up?"
John's heart started doing cartwheels. "Well. Um." He cleared his throat, hoping it would cause some kind of upheaval of his awkwardness. It felt like Vriska's gaze was bearing into his soul. "Well, um," he repeated, "Valentine's Day is coming up, and I was just wondering if you… well… if you'd want to… maybe do something? With me?" he blurted, eyes closed and hands balled into fists at his side. John was sure his face was beet red, but the response he was expecting—Vriska's sharp laughter—didn't come. He opened his eyes, face still warm, to see Vriska blushing as well.
"W-what?"
"I w-was wondering if you'd want to maybe hang out with me for Valentine's Day… you know… like a date?" John let himself crack the smallest smile to break the tension. He wrung his hands together.
"I…I just… wow," Vriska said, sounding completely stumped for an answer. John's patience was beginning to wear thin. It was a yes or no question. "I mean, yeah! I'd love to hang out!" she finally said. "I'm just surprised… you haven't been talking to me a whole lot lately."
"Yeah… I'm sorry about that. It probably wasn't the best reaction. I mean. You were confiding in me and all." John heard the familiar whistle blow, signaling the beginning of class. "Anyway just message me later! We'll work something out."
John's Pesterchum went off nearly immediately after school, but it wasn't Vriska.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
CG: EGBERT
CG: WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK DID I WITNESS TODAY?
EB: did your finger slip on the button again?
CG: NO, I'M JUST THAT PISSED OFF, YOU ASSWIPE.
CG: I DELIBERATELY GAVE YOU PERFECTLY GOOD DATING ADVICE AND YOU WENT AND DID WHATEVER THE SHIT YOU WANTED ANYWAY.
EB: i never asked for your advice.
CG: DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK?
CG: VRISKA SERKET IS A DEMON CHILD. SHE WILL CHEW YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OUT.
CG: I WAS TRYING TO SPARE YOU THE PAIN BUT INSTEAD YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I'M BEING A TOTAL SELFISH PRICK FOR TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT.
CG: DO YOU KNOW HOW ANGRY THAT MAKES ME?
CG: I COULD SHIT MILES OF RAGE SNAKE TO CHOKE US BOTH TO DEATH.
EB: ew
EB: what reason would i have to think you were actually trying to help?
EB: from my perspective it looks like you told dave to stop flirting with terezi because 1) you used to like her and 2) you wanted dave for yourself
EB: so it seems like you're actually the selfish one here.
CG: OUCH WOW OKAY FUCK YOU.
CG: AND BESIDES, WHAT WOULD I BENEFIT FROM TELLING YOU TO STOP HANGING OUT WITH VRISKA?
CG: EVEN IF I DID THINK YOU WERE CUTE AT SOME POINT IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE.
EB: i don't know, you really hate her for something!
EB: maybe it's payback!
EB: maybe you're trying to emotionally hurt her or some shit
EB: wait you thought i was cute?
CG: DAMMIT
EB: do i just attract dudes or something?
CG: DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF, YOU'RE ABOUT AS ATTRACTIVE AS A CROCODILE THAT GOT HIT BY A TRUCK, YOU FUCKJAMMING ASSPIMPLE.
EB: fucking
EB: you're really such a jerk sometimes.
EB: go suck dave's dick or something and stop giving me a hard time.
EB: i will hang out with whoever i want to hang out with
EB: romantically involved or otherwise
CG: FINE.
CG: DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT
CG: DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A WRITHING PILE OF ASSMAGGOTS AFTER YOU GET BURNED HARD BY THE MOST VILE BACKSTABBING BITCH EVER TO WALK THE PLANET.
EB: i won't, cause that's not gonna happen.
CG: SHE'S TOTALLY SHITHIVE BONKERS BUT OKAY.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
"Wow, what a crabby asshole," John muttered to himself. He did think the 'suck a dick' comment was a bit much, but John didn't resort to insults nearly as much as Karkat did. Karkat probably told himself worse on a daily basis. Eventually, Vriska did message him, and the two worked out all the details for that weekend. The plan was to meet at the mall and go to the movie theater. They were hosting a Nic Cage marathon (even though John preferred Matt McConaughey), and then afterwards John thought he and Vriska could get some ice cream or something. It was his first time going on a real date, and he had no idea how to make sure everything went smoothly. Nervous was an understatement. He had to wipe the sweat off his forehead before getting out of his dad's car at the theater to meet up with Vriska.
"Hey John!" he heard as he walked towards the theater entrance. He turned around to see Vriska waiting for him. She looked really cute. Not overtly feminine—that wasn't Vriska's style—but cute, in a pair on dark wash jeans, a white t-shirt with a cobalt blue blazer pulled over it, and red sneakers. John tugged at the ends of his button-down. He hadn't been able to decide whether to tuck it in or not and was still feeling self-conscious about it.
"Hey Vriska," he answered, still fidgeting with his hands. "Uh, you ready?"
"Yeah, do you have the tickets?"
"Yeah," John smiled, then blushed as Vriska grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the movie theater.
"Then let's go!"
Vriska insisted on paying for the popcorn, and John repaid her by buying the ice cream afterwards. She got Rocky Road; he got Cookie Dough.
"You know," Vriska said between bites, "you really caught me off guard here."
"What?"
"When you asked me to hang out. I thought I'd… I thought I'd severed all ties with everyone who ever even remotely cared about me."
"Why's that?"
"Cause I'm a gigantic asshole. I told you, I've done some terrible shit."
John thought for a moment, plucking his spoon back down into the ice cream. "Nothing is unforgivable, though."
Vriska paused. "You think?"
"Well… yeah. Have you ever apologized to the people you hurt?"
"I guess… I guess I haven't."
"Well then that's probably the first step to feeling better about stuff, right?"
"Yeah… hey John…"
"Hmm?"
"Thanks for not giving up on me," Vriska said, smiling a bit before leaning in and giving John a quick peck on the cheek. John felt himself blush cherry red.