The next morning I woke up at five in the morning. I looked over at Randy who was peacefully sleeping. I quietly got out of bed went to the bathroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth. After that I walked down stairs grabbed some grape juice and sat outside on the swinging porch bench.

My thoughts raced through my head.

"Why?" I whispered. "Why would you leave me here?"

I pulled my legs on the bench.

"It's not fair. What did I do so wrong that you have to go? Leave me with nothing but pain and emptiness. "

Tears fell freely down my cheeks on my legs.

"Do you hear me? You left me here with nothing!" I threw my cup and the glass shattered on the floor.

"Shit." I mumbled.

I went back inside grabbed the broom and cleaned my mess. I quietly walked back up stairs to see if I woke Randy. When I open the door he was still sound asleep. I let out a soft sigh and went back down stairs, and then outside.

"How do I make the pain stop?" I slowly let my mind drift. "Randy does a wonderful job making sure that I'm okay but is that enough?" I whispered out.

'No.' my mind said.

"Yes he is." My mouth mumbled.

'You know what you have to do to make the pain stop.'

"I said I wouldn't"

'You know you need it. It's the only thing that will help. You want the pain to stop right?'

"Yes. Make it stop. But, but No, NO it's not right."

'Yes! You know what you need to do!' My mind hissed at me.

"Call him."

'Yes. That's it.'

"Call him and ask for my gift." I said a little above a whisper.

'Yeah! You need that gift. You want it.'

"I need it, I want it. It's wrong."

'No! Nothing is wrong with it. You need it to move on, you need to get better and that gift will do the job.'

"I need to move on."

'Yes.'

"Where is his number?"

I opened my eyes.

"I'll call him on Friday."

"You'll call who on Friday?" I heard Randy's voice.

"An old friend. I haven't talked to him for a while now." I turned and looked at Randy.

"Just a friend right?" He came and sat next to me.

"Yeah babe, just a friend."

Randy and I sat outside until the sun came up.

"What do you want to do today?" Randy asked.

I shrugged. "Whatever you want to do."

Randy and I just stayed in and watched movies until it was time to go to bed. That was our routine until Thursday morning.

(Thursday.)

(Eddie's funeral)

"Ready?" Randy asked me.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I took a deep breath and we walked out to the limo.

My hand's starting shaking as soon as we were close to the cemetery.

"Don't worry." Randy's hand wrapped around my waist. "Everything will be alright."

"Everything will be alright." I repeated.

We got out of the limo family and friends were there.

"The service starts in a few minutes." One of the people who work there said to us.

"Thanks." Randy said.

"Bianca." My red eyed aunt Vickie came to me and held me.

I felt her body shake as she started to cry. I struggled to hold back tears of my own.

"Don't worry Vickie." I quoted Randy. "Everything will be alright."

She pulled back and gave me a smile. "Your right. Everything will be, he is in a much better place now."

I didn't smile. Everything drained out of me.

"Friends and family if you will please take your seats we will begin now." An older man said.

The older man began the service. His words were kind and filled with sorrow. It was time for family and friends to come up and say something.

First up was Vickie.

(Vickie)

"Eddie wasn't just my husband, he was my best friend, my lover, my world. He always mange to put a smile on my face, I could never be mad at him for more than five minutes." She turned and looked at the closed coffin. "Eddie, I love you and without you I would be nothing. I thank you every day for walking in my life and showing me what real love is. I'll never forget it; I'll always hold it close to my heart. Even though you're not here anymore I'll never let go of you. You will always remain within my sole, my heart and my head. Your legacy will live on forever with everyone. Thank you, I'll see you one day but for now I miss you and I love you please never forget that." She was in tears at the end and my uncle helped her back to her seat.

Next Chavo.

(Chavo)

"Thank you." He put his head down. "Thank you so much for taking me under your wing and teaching me all I know. Eddie, I don't know how this world is going to make it without you. Anytime that anyone needed something we just went to you. You were the glue that held us together. You were the person that we could lean on. I, I, I," Chavo tears fell. "I miss you." He choked out. "I'm sorry." His head dropped in his hands. I wanted to comfort him but I was stuck in my own tears. His father Chavo Sr. went up to help him. "I'm okay." He whispered. "Eddie is the man, I swear that everyone will know you Eddie. I'll never let anyone forget what a wonderful person you were, or all the great things that you did for everyone. Your life will live in me and I promise to never let you down. I'll make you proud. Viva La Raza!" Chavo nodded and walked down.

It was my turn. I walked up to the podium and looked out at everyone.

"Eddie. What words can describe him? He was everything amazing. Without Eddie I would have died, he saved me from the death I was looking for. How can I repay him for that?" I paused. "Eddie. Thank you for my life, I'm sorry that I couldn't save yours. Thank you for being my dad when mine was gone. You were, no you are a great dad. I wish just for a moment that I could talk to you again, tell you one more time that I love you and that you mean the world to me." Tears flooded my face. "Thank you for holding me and telling me that even though life didn't give me lemons I could go to the kitchen and make kool-aid." I chuckled. "It didn't make sense to me then and it still doesn't but now when I think about it I will remember you and laugh. I promise not to look back on the bad time but to share all the great times and all the memories that brought smiles to our faces. This isn't good bye. I refuse to say those words. But I will see you later. Be safe. I love you, I miss you, I'll never forget get you." I walked over the coffin and kissed it. "Thank you Daddy." I whispered and took my seat next to Randy.

Everyone that spoke had shared their memories that Eddie embedded into their head for life.

We all stood around as his coffin was lowered to the ground. Everyone tossed their white roses down on him. When everyone was done I kissed my yellow rose and also tossed it down.

Afterwards we went to my mom's house for dinner and conversations. When that was all said and done Randy and I left home.

"Are you alright?" Randy asked as I opened the door.

"Yeah. I'm just tired." I threw my keys on the table.

"Let me help you to your room." Randy picked me up bridal style and carried me to my room.

We changed clothes hopped into bed and were fast asleep.