...Yeah this took longer than usual. I didn't have enough time to write because of exam week being here. I had to go to study group after study group and sit with a bunch of overly stressed IB students while we studied for grade 9 IB exams. I swear I could literally feel their exam stress creeping into me...
anyway, here it is. I explored a weird topic in this chapter, tell me if you guys like it. I planned this out, but i don't know if it's too sudden or not.
The L.O.S.T paperclip: your review was definitely inspiring. im glad you think i used the idea properly.
Chapter 11
I pushed my book bag farther up on my shoulder in the crowded bus. I hated buses now. It seems I was destined to travel in them forever. To school, to work, and to university again. They were crowded and you never got a seat and the person next to you was always the one who ate bacon for breakfast. But it was the only way to get to university and I was too proud to ask Ryuzaki for a ride.
I'd woken up feeling like it was Christmas. There was something about first days of school, the fresh classes, the new faces, the library neatly arranged in the Dewey Decimal system….I'd spent an hour making sure I had all the textbooks on the textbook list I had been given (Ryuzaki took care of getting them for me since I was in interrogation), and spending hours in front of the mirror. I finally settled on a pair of dark washed skinny jeans and an off-the-shoulder deep gray sweater which showed off straps of a black tank top underneath. It was cold outside and I wanted to be dressed for the weather, unlike last time.
When I got to To Oh I went to my rented locker and put away the textbooks for my evening classes, keeping the ones I needed in the morning. I looked at my schedule. Project Documentation and Team Dynamics. It was part of my majoring option. I felt the butterflies in my stomach as I walked to the room. Luckily the classes were held in English medium so I wouldn't have to learn Japanese too.
The course was easy enough. We had to do a short essay on a given topic to start off, and then we got a lecture on the different types of team members. I was used to this, even though I was a programmer, anything in my computer majors had involved team management. I flipped through the textbook while the others finished up. After that, we were told to partner with the people sitting beside us an discuss the value of a "devil's advocate" in a team and the role they played. Since we were seated in groups of two, I was paired with the girl sitting next to me, who was incidentally one of the other two girls in the entire class.
"Hey you're Mayra right? We heard rumors that you were considered for freshman rep this year! Sorry I'm kind of off topic but…were you?", I wondered if I should tell her. She looked like a nice person, with long hair, a slight accent, and the kind of eyes that seemed to melt at anything, but if you got to know her she would probably be fiery too.
"I was but I thought it would be rude to accept since I wouldn't being studying here for too long", I smiled. She looked so surprised. "Now we should probably get back on topic, what do you think about it…um…sorry what was your name?"
"Hiyono, my name's Hiyono. and I don't think a devil's advocate is really necessary. I mean, there always is one but they end up discouraging the other members."
"Well I think I can play devil's advocate there, because they can be useful. I mean, they find faults that other members may ignore. They don't usually relay them in considerable polite ways but the job is still done. A team can't work well when everyone agrees, there would be too much bias to properly determine the pros and cons of each decision", I completed.
She looked slightly impressed, "that was well said. I change my conclusion a little. It depends on the team members. If they are the type of people who will fall to pieces at criticism then it would be a disadvantage to include someone who is good at finding faults and disagrees with most things. If the members are the type who like constructive criticism and can find ways to properly make use of the information, a devil's advocate may be an advantage."
"Ah but in this very class we learn that as team managers, we need to learn how to translate criticism in a way that benefits the team. This class is supposed produce effective managers, right? So we can conclude that "effective managers", which we all clearly strive to be, benefit from the constructive criticism given by someone who plays the role of a devil's advocate. Therefore, an "effective" team values one. And an "ineffective" team does not. Since all teams want to be effective, the position of a devil's advocate is necessary."
She raised an eyebrow, "ok I think we've come to an agreement here."
"Is that your way of saying 'I lose'?" I asked playfully. She smirked. We turned our attention back to the lecturer as our discussion time finished.
When the three hours of morning classes were over, I went back to my locker and gratefully put away my heavy book bag. It was the one thing I hated about school, carrying heavy book bags around. I took my small purse out and dangled it around my hand, heading out of the university grounds to where Light, Ryuzaki and I had decided to meet to have lunch. It was a small restaurant that Light had introduced to us. I decided I would have to learn how to eat Japanese food one day so I agreed with his choice.
Ryuzaki and Light were already waiting when I got there.
"Sorry am I late?" I asked. Light shook his head, "of course not, I just got here and Ryuuga seems to be hours early for everything", he turned to L with a sneaky but charming smile on his face, "come on Ryuuga, looks like May doesn't eat Japanese food that often so we have to pick something new out for her."
I paled. I hoped it wouldn't have seafood in it. I hated seafood since I was little. I liked fish, but as long as they weren't dead.
Lunch wasn't too bad. For some reason I felt Light's eyes on me more often than usual. I was used to it, any average teen girl would be if she'd ever been in high school. But it was different with Light. I still didn't quite think he was real, as if he was still an anime character. Having him look at me that way just made me feel strange.
I ended up back in class for the rest of the day, waiting for it to be over so I could go back to my hotel room and sleep. Ryuzaki had said I could be there when Light made his speech for the fake Kira, but I already knew what would happen so I decided to decline and stay in my apartment.
It was a boring experience, I had nothing to do but sit in one corner of my bed with my laptop, randomly browsing the internet. I didn't want to get up, I knew that as soon as I did I would feel the pins and needles that had been gathering for the while I had stayed motionless.
Finally I decided that I should get up and do something productive before I got stuck in one position. I put on a pair of faded jeans and a soft t-shirt on quickly before grabbing my bag and walking over to my door. I didn't really know where I was going, but I figured I'd just take a walk and roam around.
Halfway out of the hotel I met Light as he was coming down from Ryuzaki's floor.
"May! Where are you headed?" That familiar smile was on his face. The one which he used to talk politely but still maintain a level of charm.
"Nowhere in specific, I just felt like roaming around I guess, "I answered, already guessing what he would say next.
"Can I tag along? I'll give you the details of today's work. The fake one sent us a schedule for some reason. On notebook paper", he caught up with me and casually put his hands in his pockets. Ryuk was floating behind him. I pretended not to even notice he was there, like any normal person would have.
"Sure", I replied. I didn't have any other company anyway, might as well make use of the fact that he was offering to take away some of my boredom.
We walked out of the hotel. I started walking around the block like my usual route. He told me what had happened, and the dates listed on the schedule Misa had sent. He pointed out that he thought the second Kira wasn't very bright. The way he put it made me smile with amusement. I wondered if Misa would kill me for spending time with him in the future.
Soon I noticed that I wasn't on my usual "walk" route. Light was walking somewhere and I had unconsciously begun to follow him while we talked. I wasn't worried, there were maps available at any store that I could pick up if I really needed one. If not I could just ask the nearest person. But soon it started to get a little late.
"Where are we anyway? It's going to be a long walk back for me if we keep heading away from the hotel like this", I asked. The sun was starting to set and I didn't want to walk back in the dark.
"Don't worry I'll walk you back. We're close to the supermarket actually, I guess my mom's had me getting the groceries so often I've gotten used to walking here", He said, humor in his voice.
I breathed an inner sigh of relief. I guessed that walking next to Kira would probably be more dangerous than dealing with a few street thugs but it still felt better that Light would walk to his own house in the dark just so he could escort me back. Now that I thought of it, he was very different from most of the guys in my life. I'd had the occasional fling in high school where I'd gotten to second base, but the guys were faceless now. Nothing ever got serious. I'd sometimes invent a crush so that Lena would leave me alone, and then the guys would find out and tell me he felt the same way. In awkward situations like that, I just went along with it. Only because it made me feel in place, like I 'should' be by high school standards. All teen girls were expected to be a certain way. They were expected to be seen holding onto the arm of some guy, enjoying dates with him. Those guys all had bad sides. They were cute, and easy to show off to my friends, but there was always some problem with them. Some of them were annoyingly shy, some didn't know how to make a first move, some were messy, some were stupid in school, none of them were perfect enough. None of them would make me feel daring, like Light did.
After that though, I immediately told myself to shut up. I remembered something my teacher told me once, 'control your thoughts, Mayra, because they will turn into your words'. I needed to stop thinking like this about Light, I needed to stop appreciating the fact that he made me feel special. If I started thinking about it, I'd fall under his spell too.
"…so do you want to come along?"
I completely missed what he was saying, "pardon? I didn't catch that."
He looked at me strangely, "Ryuzaki said I'm going to Aoyama to investigate the first date and time in the schedule, do you want to come with me? I would probably look a lot less suspicious. You probably shouldn't listen to me though, I might just want an excuse to show you off as my girlfriend", he smirked slightly.
"Yeah well I'm sure that will be fun", I said sarcastically. Then I remembered Misa would be seeing him there, "but sure, I'll come. Even if I have to go as your girlfriend", I stuck my tongue out at him slightly.
He clutched his chest and pretended to feel rejected, "Oh the pain! To have one who you just wanted some time with to drastically reject your offers! Such trauma!" Then he smiled back at me, "why not? My hair not shiny enough for you May? If you're not attracted to my supreme beauty then there's some problems with what side of the fence you're on. Maybe I should wear some makeup? Paint my nails?"
I rolled my eyes, "Oh definitely, of course that's the reason. Add a strapless dress and I'm all yours" He laughed a little, "and this is why I have a little sister to steal from, your place or mine?"
"Mine, if you want. You can take the closet", I said cheekily.
"Oh look I'm improving in life. The girl who gave me "never in my life" looks just allowed me to sleep in her closet! I might just take you up on that offer you know", he smirked at me, "we're back."
He followed me inside to the hallway my hotel room was in.
"Thanks for walking me back", I turned back to look at him to say it, "and for entertaining me", I said that I little more playfully.
I turned back and suddenly felt his slightly taller presence behind me. Really close behind me. I told my heart to stop it's nervous hammering.
"So do I get a present for doing so?" He whispered behind my ear. I wanted to shiver but stopped myself. It wasn't the time for that. It would never be. I told myself I would never betray L by siding with Kira.
"Hmm? What do you expect then?" I asked daringly. His breath was soft behind my ear but it felt as hot as the flames from a furnace, "What about the traditional kiss a guy is supposed to get a his girlfriend's doorway after a date? That would be nice", I could almost feel him smirking behind me. To surprise him I quickly twisted back and gave him a soft, chaste kiss on the cheek. I lingered a little before a pulled away. Just to humor him, I reminded myself.
"Not the traditional kind, no", I explained quickly. He stood there surprised for a second and I prided myself on it. I opened the door in front of me and gave him a quick smile before disappearing into my room. I locked the door behind me and spent a minute leaning against the back of the door. I pondered over the mess I had gotten into. I had though Light was just fun to be around, intelligent conversation. I didn't know what it was anymore. I had to get all of this under control.
"He's nothing to you May. He doesn't mean anything L is the one you want to help. The one who's side you'll always be on. L is the one you'll help. Help stay alive. Light is your enemy. He wants to kill L. He wants to kill the person you're trying to save", I whispered to myself softly. My words sounded so loud in the silent room. To think of it, I had always lived in silent places. With nothing but the comfortable whirring of technology nearby.
"Pull yourself together May. You need to get out of this trouble! I can't believe you did that back there! What if he thinks…that you think that way…he could use you. I wont let him use you May!"
I felt a little stupid talking to myself like this, but it was a habit of mine. I was unconsciously making up for the presence of someone who would say things like that to me. Replacing their voices with my own so I could get back to reality again.
I sighed and walked over to my bed, slowly laying down in my clothes. I pulled the covers over me, focusing on the absolute silence in the room. Light was my entertainer. I was using him for a friend. That was pretty much it. Anything else…well…only because it felt good.
"Oh la la, I wonder…" Ryuk started laughing like a maniac. Light felt like glaring back at him in annoyance, but he kept it in check.
"She's going with your plan rather quickly isn't she, Light?"
He kept walking along the lonely road, "yes Ryuk she is."
"You aren't falling for her are you? Such an innocent kiss on the cheek and your eyes still took on that look. Light I've seen girls do so much more with you when you stayed out at night sometimes back in high school. You never take on that look."
He grimaced, the stupid shinigami was having way to much fun, "I think I just might allow myself to like her, Ryuk. I hand-picked her for me, remember? I always get my way. It won't be long before she's mine. I know she's perfect for this."
Ryuk's laugh was heard again, "but what would happen if she takes you over instead Light? What if she drags you into her side? What then?"
Light stopped walking and turned to look at his shinigami, annoyance in his eyes, "Ryuk, when she's in my arms, she won't even know what side she's on", he let himself express a satisfied smile.
A figure sat in his usual crouch in the dark surveillance room, slowly pushing a sweet, sugar-covered strawberry into his mouth. He watched as the taller one leaned into her, whispering into his ear. And as the girl turned back and kissed him softly, tilting her head up and exposing her tanned neck. As he froze as her lips met his skin, eyes widening ever so slightly. He knew that normal couples kissed on each other's lips and not their cheeks, but to him it looked somehow more intimate that normal. Between the two most valuable people on his team. For once in his life he felt confused. What was he supposed to think? Light was Kira, he knew that for sure. All his behavioral characteristics lead to that conclusion, and there was little percentage of other. May, however, was suppose to be on his side. It was clearly evident that she knew as surely as he did that Light was Kira. He thought that she wanted to catch Kira too. So why was she acting like this towards him? What was wrong with her? Why was she making him feel so confused? He was always thought that she was his tool. That she worked with and for him. Even though she had come in halfway, somehow knowing his real name, he had started to take her for granted. Thinking he could always use her intellect as his weapon.
Another person entered the room.
"What is it, Watari?"
The old man sighed, seeing the scene he was replaying over and over on the surveillance screens.
"Watari what does this mean? I'm confused, I though for sure that May agreed with me on the fact that Light is Kira. So why is she so familer with him?", he put his thumb into his mouth.
Watari looked at him with concern, "Well, sometimes emotions get in the way of such things, L. Light is a charming young man, maybe she just liked being with him, even if she knew he was Kira. Maybe she likes him in that way."
"You mean, he seduced her?"
Watari sighed deeply, "No, not like that. I mean…well it's hard to explain. But I can try. Do you remember Asuma Takashi? The Japanese agent you used a few years ago?"
"Yes, I do remember him."
"Well, the mission you sent him on was to gain intelligence on a woman who was rumored to be secretly dealing drugs, correct?"
"Yes, I believe it was so."
"But he never came back. He turned on the investigation. We later found out that he had fallen in love with that woman. We also found out that she really was trafficking narcotics, and we also found out that Takashi knew exactly what she was doing, even though she never openly told him. Why do you think he had fallen in love with that woman?"
L stared, "because she seduced him of course. She must have convinced him that she was innocent."
"No, you know as well as I do that Takashi knew what she was doing. And she wasn't the type to seduce him. She had nothing to gain from it, she was already engaged to another man. Seducing him would have been illogical. You know that."
"Then what are you trying to say, Watari?"
"That he liked her. He fell in love with her. When a man does something like this, it's usually because he thinks she's made for him. That she's the right one. This doesn't apply to this situation all that clearly of course. My opinion on May and Light is that May is just being daring. Women just like to do that, be daring. It's obvious that she enjoys being around him. There's a certain feeling of rebellion young people get from doing daring things", Watari finished explaining awkwardly.
"I still don't understand", L shoulders drooped.
"You don't need to, not really. Just know that if May thinks Light is Kira, and she really wants to catch Kira, this will mean nothing for the investigation."
Light sighed, "I suppose you are right, Watari. What they do behind their doors is their business. As long as May doesn't join Kira, this shouldn't affect me. Please bring me some more cake."
Watari left to bring the cake, and L was left staring at the screens again. This wouldn't affect him or his case in any way.
But for some reason, it did.
I hope I didn't make L OOC here, i was just trying to get the entire 'father-son' relationship evident between Watari and L. Tell me what you think about it
Review please! Authors love to hear their readers' thoughts on what gonna happen.