They moved together towards the hospital. Kyle was amused to find that the doors weren't automatic – you had to open them yourself. Canada he thought fondly, shaking his head. A few lock's of recently straightened black hair escapes his ponytail, slipping into his face. Compared to his pale, freckled skin, the hair looked like black ink someone had slopped onto his face. He eyed his reflection in the glass for a moment, before face appeared, so very close to his own.
"You remember what to do?" Eric asked softly. His breath fluttered across Kyle's ear, and the smaller boy shuddered.
Kyle shook the confusion from his head. "Of course I do. I'm not the retard here." He muttered back, although without any bite to his words. He was simply trying to calm them both down. A little bit of 'friendly banter' always helped calm his nerves, he figured it would do the same for Eric.
Eric brought his knee up into Kyle's ass, listening to the boys muffled yelp with a satisfied smirk. When the other boy turned to sharply glare over his shoulder, Eric reached around his side to grasp the door handle.
His breath caught as Kyle shifted out of his way, pressing back against his chest. He cleared his throat and stepped to the side, moving as quickly as possible away from his friend.
Friend. Never thought I'd think of this little Jew fag as a friend.
He pulled the door open, allowing Kyle to walk in before he did. The butterflies he had, had stayed behind them in the car. He was entirely confident now, certain their plan would work. Kyle was partially to thank for his newfound confidence. If the boy hadn't stood behind his plan, he knew he would have sweaty palms at this point.
He wrapped an arm around Kyle's waist, feeling the Jew slump against his side. He looked down and watched Kyle's hands settle over the swell of his stomach. To anyone looking in, it would seem as if he was holding it in pain. Eric knew he was holding it to keep the pillow they'd taped under his over sized shirt from shifting too much.
Kyle's breathing picked up, becoming soft, panicked pants as they approached the desk. Eric smiled internally. I guess all those drama classes the nerd took finally paid off.
"Excuse me ma'am." Eric stared at the woman at the front desk, eyes wide and full of shock. He'd always been a good actor. He'd never needed classes. "Ma'am I think my wife's gone into labour. I don't...We're just passing through, she isn't due for another two months." His voice grew louder as he let fake panic slip into his body. He trembled, pulling Kyle closer.
"Oh my! Oh, let me call a doctor, we'll get her on a stretcher." The woman was jumping up, head flapping away. Eric had to hold back his laughter.
They really do look like trash cans.
He loosened his grip as he felt Kyle beginning to go limp beside him. As planned, Kyle rolled his eyes back and allowed his legs to give up. He toppled to the ground, moaning in pain.
"I'm going to throw up." Cartman told the secretary, hand flying to cover his mouth. "Where's the bathroom?"
She pointed hurriedly to the left, rushing to Kyle's side. "I called a doctor, the doctor should be here soon."
Eric moved away quickly, glancing over his shoulder. Kyle really did look like a pregnant woman. They had stopped at a good will, and bought an over sized outfit, very girly looking. Eric had forced him to wear a bra, and they had stuffed it with socks.
It wasn't his best idea ever, but it had been the only he could come up with one such short notice.
A doctor ran by him, and a feeling of unease settled in Eric's gut. He stopped and turned to watch the blond man as he ran down the hall. He was wearing a lab coat, but he didn't have a flappy head.
He wasn't Canadian.
He didn't look old enough to be a doctor.
Warning bells went off in Eric's head. The man looked so familiar, Eric was sure he'd seen him somewhere before...Probably saw him at the grocery store in town. Stop worrying and get going! He commanded himself.
Taking his own advice, he circled back around to the pharmacy. "Someone just collapsed in the hall,m you have to call a doctor!" He told the worker inside.
"What? In the hall?" The man stepped out from behind the counter.
"By the bathrooms, a little old lady. I ran to get help, I was screaming but no one came." He caught a look at himself in the mirror and had to bite back more laughter. He really did look like a concerned citizen, and Canadians we're so gullible.
The man rushed passed him and Eric hopped the counter. He moved to the back room and pulled Kyle's useless bottle of insulin out of his pocket. He jerked a cooler open and quickly looked through the various bottles, until he found the insulin that Kyle needed. He filled his backpack with as many bottles as he could safely carry, then rushed back out of the room.
He took the back doors of the hospital, and finally did burst into laughter when he saw their car sitting there, waiting.
Kyle was behind the wheel, still in the girl's clothes, but without the massive stomach.
Eric climbed into the passenger side, carefully setting his backpack down between them. "I sort of liked pregnant you." He joked, smirking when Kyle's face turned red.
"Well, you're curvier; you should have been the girl." Kyle retorted, trying to pretend that he was angry rather than embarrassed.
"No one would have believed you could top me."
"Homo." Kyle slammed on the gas and they tore out of the parking lot. Distantly, they could hear sirens.
Eric caught something in the rear view mirror and focused his attention there. The doctor from before, the one that was too young, too familiar, was leaning against the wall beside the back doors. Eric assumed the smoke billowing above his head was from a smoke.
"We have to ditch this car."
"What?"
"We have to ditch this car. Turn right."
Kyle didn't question him, he just did as he was told.