Chapter 11
Breakfast with Some Clowns

"Wakey, wakey…"

Lilo's eyes opened and her memory faded from the insane dream she'd been in just seconds ago. She focused on a blurred white face above her and zoned in on a black mask.

Harley's pasty face beamed down on her, and for a moment Lilo couldn't tell if she was still dreaming or not. Then she felt her aching back and shoulders, results from sleeping on cold concrete.

"Good morning, sweetie." The clown woman murmured with a motherly affection. Lilo stayed on her back, staring up with pensive surprise. The woman continued with the same tender voice, "It's time to get up. I have breakfast all ready and everything, kiddo. And tonight we'll have a proper bed for you."

Confused, Lilo sat up, rubbing her neck where she'd slept on it wrong. Puka climbed onto her shoulder, remaining hidden behind the thick curtain of glossy black hair. Harley helped the little girl to her feet, steering her out the metal door and down the hallway.

"What happened to the guard?"

"Benny's already at the table with the other boyz." Harley chirped, placing her hands on Lilo's shoulders.

Lilo turned her face up to study the kooky woman as they rounded a corner in the hallway. There was something else behind this motive. She gulped and Puka nuzzled closer to her neck for safety. Lilo couldn't remember when hostages were allowed to eat breakfast with their kidnappers. When had this been established?

They entered the kitchen and saw all seven of the hired men seated around a long square table. They were drinking coffee and snacking on donuts while reading the newspaper or part of a magazine. One man was preparing himself a bowl of cereal piled inches higher than the rim. Lilo wondered how he would ever be able to fit the milk in there with that mountain of Lucky Charms. Harley sat her in a chair by the head of the table, where a man's face hid behind a newspaper. From the purple coat and the white gloves, Lilo already suspected who it was.

"Morning, Doll Face. Sleep well?" The paper folded in two and Joker smiled at the little girl beside him.

Lilo glared. "Honestly, I'd sleep much better with a pillow next time." Her neck popped loudly when she turned it sharply. Ouch! She definitely needed to find a better position to sleep in; her shoulders weren't meant to take that kind of neglect.

"Oh well. We can fix that problem tonight. But it mostly depends on you."

"Depends on me?" She wasn't quite sure what he meant by that. Did he expect her to cooperate? I thought I was already doing that, she said silently to herself. I mean I haven't tried to run away or anything... yet.

Then she remembered the discussion Joker had had with her before she was sent to "bed".

We always wanted a sweet, little girl like yourself, and it certainly would mean the world to us if you would consider us as your new Mom and Dad.

Was this there way of trying to make her feel like she was part of the family? She hadn't even given her consent that she even wanted to. And yet here was Harley treating her as if Lilo were her own daughter.

She squirmed as a pang of guilt entered her gut. She would never love anyone the way she loved her real parents. The only thing that would ever come close to a replacement for her mother was Nani. Even then Lilo had told her that she liked her much better as a sister than a mom.

"This is something new." She observed, looking down at the spoon and fork in front of her. "Since when did hostages eat breakfast with their kidnappers?"

"We don't want you to feel like a hostage, Lilo." Harley crooned leaning over to smile at the startled girl. "We explained yesterday that we want you to feel like you belong here."

"Is that what you say to all your captives?"

Joker chuckled. "Only the ones we don't plan on killing."

Lilo didn't respond to that coment. He only wanted her to.

"Breakfast!" Harley said setting two plates down in front of both Lilo and Joker. A burning char sat smoking in front of them. Lilo couldn't tell if the hunk of black slabs were suppose to be pancakes or toast. There were gray lumpy things next to it which she assumed must've been scrambled eggs and three black stubs that smelled slightly like burning sausage. Harley passed around more plates to the rest of the men who looked like they would've rather starved then consume this crap. "Well eat up." Harley sang. "We have a big day ahead of us."

Joker had the same disgusted expression Lilo did. Apparently his girlfriend wasn't exactly known for her cooking.

Hesitantly, Lilo picked up her fork and poked at the charred pieces. When she speared her pancakes (or was it toast?) it crumbled into crusty ashes. From her shoulder Puka covered his mouth and gagged at the horrible stench. Even to a creature that ate mostly hair, shampoo, and conditioner, the food still appeared to smell really bad. Despite how truly repulsing the meal was, Lilo didn't have it in her to insult the woman with the truth. She leaned towards the creature on her shoulder and forced a smile. "Look… how nice it all goes together, Puka. It's just how uncle Jumba makes it back home."

"Why thank you Lilo!" Harley said clasping her hands under her chin. "That's so sweet of you."

"Higata magin opoi ochipabi mika leo bon." Puka argued in Tantalog, which translated meant, Did she use it as firewood before she gave it to you?

Lilo's smile didn't falter as she interpreted it in her own words for Harley. "He says, 'it's fine enough for humans, but he still prefers hair.'"

"Meega imput trico ibani ocho oki pelacopa dai." Translation— I would rather live off of nothing but plastic wigs than eat that slop.

One of the men seemed to share in Puka's opinion a lot more. "What exactly did you put on this, clown girl? Kerosene?" The men chuckled around the table. Harley turned very slowly. Her face was smiling but somehow it seemed forced.

She walked over to the man swinging her hips enthusiastically. Lilo had a bad feeling about this. "If it's a question about taste, you don't have to eat it you know. In fact you don't have to eat it—AT ALL!" She heaved a big bazooka out of nowhere suddenly and aimed it right at the man. A giant boxing glove shot out of the duct and hit the man squarely in the jaw. The blow was so strong it sent him flying backwards into a big pile of stuffed animals used for carnival prizes. He was motionless but thankfully breathing. Harley turned to the rest of them smiling brightly. "Now… how's the eggs?"

Everyone smiled big and shoveled in mouthfuls of eggs, staunching their gags and acted like it was the most delicious thing in the world.

"Oh I forgot the bread," Harley said throwing the bazooka aside and moving to the door. "I'll be right back." As soon as her back was turned, their mouths opened and they wiped the terrible glop off their tongues and back on the plates.

"Quick! Before she comes back!" Joker cried, leaping to the garbage and dumping his entire plate inside. Everyone followed suit, sprinting to the can and squashing it down as best they could. To make it look inconspicuous, one man tore up a morning paper and shoved it on top, hiding the food they'd discarded.

"She's coming back!" One of them hissed hearing the footsteps down the hall. They all scrambled back to their places and set their plates in front of them. They beamed at the doorway when she walked in.

"Wow! That was quick." She noted seeing all their empty plates and their happy smiles. "How was it all?"

"Great!"

"Good." Harley said setting the bread down on the table. "I was afraid it would be too salty."

"If by salty you mean tastes like ashes," one of the men whispered to the guy beside him, "Then yeah it was too salty."

"What was that, Benny?"

"I said," the man corrected himself enthusiastically, "that the meal was great and I'm looking forward to lunch."

"Good. That's what I thought you said." Harley collected the plates. Out of habit from her own household, Lilo helped her. Harley seemed surprised for some strange reason. She hadn't even asked for help, and the girl automatically jumped up to be of assistance. Harley shared a look with Joker that Lilo missed. "It's nice of you to help, Lilo."

"Well my sister makes me at home. It's just habit really."

"That's a good habit."

"Li," Puka wined, slung wearily over her shoulder. "Meega gabba."

"Oh! Okay... we'll fix that." She finished helping with the dishes and walked over to Joker who had turned back to his newspaper. "Um…" She began distracting Joker from the news. She pulled out her most innocent smile. "Puka hasn't eaten since yesterday. All the shampoo and conditioner for him is in my bag in the car. Could someone go and get it for me?"

"No."

Her eyes narrowed. Truthfully she'd sort of been expecting this. "Well then could you give me the keys so I can get it myself?" She was startled when he actually tossed her a clinking set of keys.

"Be quick about it."

Lilo stared at him. She'd meant that as a joke, she didn't actually expect him to let her go out. Wordlessly, incase he changed his mind, she went to find the front where'd they'd parked the car. She tried to remember where they came in and but it was tough. After all she had been half asleep the night before. It came back to her and she directed herself.

"Wow!" Lilo said when she stepped outside. This park was huge. She'd never been to Disney Land before or any theme park bigger than the county fair they had in Kauai every year. Were they all this huge?

Wait! This was her perfect oportunity to escape. But where in the world was the exit? Which side had they come in from? Would she find it in time before the sent someone to come after her?

But wait. Something didn't feel right. If the Joker was as smart as he was supose to be, then why would he openly give a hostage a set of keys knowing full well she could escape if she wanted to. He was supose to be a mastermind of criminal activity and he was stupid enough to just let her go unescorted. Didn't he know she could escape?Unless he wasn't afraid she would, because she couldn't anyways. Maybe he wanted her to try to escape? Maybe he wanted her to go? Or maybe he was just stupid. This was a riddle that she couldn't solve.

As painful as it was, she decided not to escape. Lilo had a bad feeling about it. No doubt they knew this park better than she did for sure.

She found the car and for the first time got a good look at it. It was a sleak, classic, black Buick Roadmaster. Lilo couldn't believe her eyes. She came closer, admiring the vehicle for it'supreme condition and smooth curves. It was an early 1950's modle with a perfectly pollished B-body as well as a bucktooth grill and white rimmed tires.

WOW! So pretty! Aparently the Joker liked to ride in style.

She was shaken when Puka nudged her impatiently. She took her eyes off the hotrod reluctantly and climbed in the back seat where her bag had been left on the floor. Other than the yellow shoulder bag there was nothing else in there. It was completely spotless, which she hadn't expected.

Maybe they just got it? She assumed throwing her bag over her shoulder and turning back to the pretty black Buick for a last look.