Author's Note: A shorter (/average length) one this time. Why? Partly because I felt bad for taking so long, and partly because I was annoyed at the idea of it being longer than the last one. Nevertheless, I give you Guiding Light, Chapter 11. Enjoy! :)
Chapter 11 – Flicker, Part 1
"Riven?" A voice called beside her.
Riven looked away from Irelia's door, her hand still raised from knocking. Irelia was standing a few feet down the hallway with a small bag in hand, clearly puzzled by her presence. Riven made no motion as she tried to figure out what came next. The sadness that had momentarily disappeared returned, and cut off her words entirely.
"Riven, what's wrong?" Irelia asked in concern, stepping forward. She placed a hand on Riven's arm.
The contact nudged Riven's trance, and she felt herself break down a little. The tears she'd fought off before finally broke through.
Irelia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "Come in. Let's sit down."
She opened the door and led Riven inside, closing it again behind them. Riven followed through the room, half-blind, half-aware of her surroundings. She felt Irelia sit her down somewhere soft as she knelt down in front of her.
"Are you here to apologize again, Riven?" Irelia asked plainly, leaning her elbows on Riven's knees.
Riven shook her head.
"Then it's something to do with Lux."
Riven tried to wipe the tears out of her eyes.
"Here," Irelia said, offering a handkerchief, "You're too strong to cry, Riven."
Riven took the offering gratefully and wiped her face. She could see clearly again, and noticed she was sitting on a bed. She wasn't sure what to think of that.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
Riven took another long moment before speaking. She was having trouble finding her voice.
"You were right," She finally managed.
Irelia's expression grew complex, "Well of course. It was obvious to-"
Riven shook her head furiously, "No. You were right about Lux... I shouldn't have trusted her."
Irelia watched her silently, "Go on."
"She set me up. She planned this whole thing," Riven said, her voice cracking a little. Just thinking about it angered her.
Irelia frowned, squinting, "What are you talking about?"
"She tricked me into falling... into liking her."
"And why would she do that?"
Riven clenched her jaw. It didn't matter why.
Irelia sighed, "So that's what this is about. Riven, tell me, why are you here?"
She still didn't have an answer.
"Do you want me to comfort you? Pat your head and tell you it's alright?"
Smoothly, she pushed Riven's knees apart and shifted herself between them.
"Or would you rather I took your mind off of it for a while?" She asked persuasively, sliding a hand across Riven's leg.
Riven inhaled sharply, her gut fluttering. It was strange. She wasn't hesitating like usual, and she hadn't felt this way around Irelia before. It was only like this when she was with Lux...
"Do you realize what you're doing to me, Riven?" Irelia asked, maintaining the small distance between them, "Even now, I'm asking you to be with me, and you're thinking of her."
Riven averted her gaze. That wasn't true... it was just...
"I know why you're here, even if you don't," Irelia stated, "It's not for me. I knew that the minute I saw you in the hallway. You're here to get back at her for betraying your trust. You're here to make yourself feel better."
Riven stayed silent, a mixture of shame, guilt, and frustration writhing through her. She grit her teeth. She didn't want to admit to any of that.
Irelia kept on staring, her almond eyes piercing whatever defences Riven still had.
"Would it really help, Riven?"
Riven turned away, shrugging.
"Riven," Irelia commanded, turning her back, "Tell me. Is this going to make you feel better?"
Riven met her stare defiantly, but couldn't keep it. She turned her eyes downward, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes again.
Irelia sighed once more, standing up, "You are so lucky I have self-restraint, Riven. This would have been such a mistake for you. For both of us."
Riven's lip quivered, and she covered her face with her hands.
"This whole thing is a mistake," She replied miserably.
She heard Irelia walk a few paces away and sit down in a chair across from her.
"Riven, can you explain to me how to make someone like me?"
Riven looked at her through watery eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly as I say it. How would I possibly make you attracted to me?"
Riven opened her mouth, but had no words.
Irelia frowned, and closed her eyes. "Look, I know you're new to these feelings, and you're not exactly thinking straight, but really, Riven. You're being completely illogical."
Riven felt a pang of annoyance in her chest. Was she lecturing her?
"What do you know about my thoughts?" She lashed out.
Irelia stared at her coolly, "What do you expect from me, Riven? You deny my feelings and then come crying to me when you're heartbroken. Do you realize how angry you're making me?"
Riven's glare softened as she realized what a mistake she'd made. She had been so focused on herself that she hadn't considered Irelia's feelings. Of course she'd be angry.
"Sorry..." Riven replied, feeling guilty again.
"I thought I told you," Irelia said, her voice returning to its formal tone, "Not to apologize any more."
"But..."
"Friends do not need to apologize."
Riven considered those words, looking back at Irelia concernedly. The Ionian held her gaze comfortably. Did she deserve to be Irelia's friend, after all this?
"I still like you, Riven, perhaps a bit more than I should, but even I know when to give up."
Riven turned her head away again, reliving the past hour with a clearer mind. She was still upset, but her thoughts were more organized about it.
"You still like her too, right?
Riven closed her eyes. She nodded, though just a little.
Irelia smiled in a sad sort of way.
"Listen, Riven. We all pretend in one way or another for the sake of others. Heaven knows I do. Luxanna did what she thought she had to do in order to gain your attention. I do not know whether you would have developed these feelings with or without her influence, but you need to spend some time reflecting on why you are upset about it."
Riven clenched her jaw. It was hard to think about right now. Her gut felt like stone, and it only grew worse when she tried.
Irelia picked up the bag she was carrying earlier and took out a small package. "Have you eaten yet, Riven?"
"I'm not really hungry," Riven muttered half-truthfully.
Irelia didn't look convinced, "Do not make me force-feed you. Eat." She demanded, reaching across to hand the package over.
Riven reached out to take it, and a small glint on her wrist reminded her she was still wearing Lux's charm. She paused and considered removing it, but hesitated at the idea. Not in front of Irelia.
Irelia seemed content as Riven took the food, and pulled out another package for herself. Riven unwrapped hers to find a moon cake. She bit her lip to distract her from the thought of Lux's kiss while a twinge of hunger told her she needed to eat it.
"I know it is not quite a proper dinner, but these are very uncommon outside of festivals, so I tend to treat myself," Irelia explained with a small smile.
Riven stared at the pastry a while longer, clearing her thoughts. Finally, she took a bite of it and was surprised to find a less-sweet and creamy filling inside of this one. It was a welcome change, and she wolfed it down quickly, her appetite suddenly more apparent.
She felt Irelia's eyes on her, and looked up to match the stare. Irelia's expression changed, and she averted her gaze. Riven felt more self-conscious all of the sudden, and a question burned inside of her.
"What do you like about me, Irelia?" She asked, her curiousity matching her confusion at the idea.
Irelia blushed a little, smiling nervously. "That is a taboo question, Riven," She answered softly, "Especially now."
"Sorry," Riven replied quietly, flinching as she remembered she should stop apologizing.
Irelia's smile stayed, though she shook her head, "I do not blame you for being curious, but... Please let me move on."
The air in the room felt damp and depressing as they sat in silence, and it stressed Riven. She needed to fix this somehow.
"I admire you," She said in an attempt to break the stillness. Irelia stared at her in surprise, her attention grabbed. Riven was unsure exactly what she was trying to achieve, yet she continued as the words just came out.
"I admire your conviction, your strength, your devotion. You are a true warrior, through and through, and a hero to your people, whether you want it or not. You're much better than me, in many ways. I also appreciate what you've done for me and my people, despite our obvious differences. The fact that you are trying to help me, even now, confuses and impresses me. I could never do such a thing... And I respect you. As a rival, as an ally, and... as a friend."
She finished, and noticed a tear running down Irelia's cheek. Her strength wavered as the sadness seemed to pass to her too. Before she succumbed, she forced herself to stand and move over to Irelia's chair. The Ionian didn't move, and Riven put a hand on her shoulder while looking her in the eye.
"You're still human, Irelia," Riven said as steadily as she could manage, "I can tell you that much. And if you need me to hold your hand and remind you of that, come find me. Any time."
Irelia's lip quivered, and Riven was reaching the limit of her bravado. She swiftly drew back and continued past Irelia towards the exit, leaving Irelia's handkerchief on the chair. Immediately upon leaving the room and closing the door behind her, she collapsed against it and let out a silent sob. Not for herself, but for the girl still in the room.
What could she do? She was powerless against feelings. The pain and sadness she unintentionally caused made her feel worse than anything she'd done intentionally. She didn't want Irelia to suffer like this, and yet taking any action would only make matters worse. She knew this. The best action was to do nothing, and wait for it to pass over. But it was so difficult.
Riven steadied herself, and with a deep breath, made her way to her own room. As soon as the door was shut, she walked to her bed and collapsed on it, the day's events taking their toll on her body and mind. She was exhausted in both areas, and didn't have the energy to process information any further. Any guilt or anger or stress was replaced by numbness. Sleep soon captured her, and brought her restless dreams of nothing.
"Falnic."
The summoner looked up from his book to see three others standing before him. He grinned widely.
"Welcome, gentlemen. I did not hear you come in. What can I do for you?"
The one in the middle stepped forwards, "Just what is your game?"He asked angrily.
Falnic's complexion darkened, though his grin remained, "Game?"
"We've waited too long. They've found the body," The one on the left said.
"Have they now?" Falnic replied, almost with glee, "This is excellent news!"
The three of them looked at each other concernedly.
"Relax," Falnic reassured them, his voice dropping back to it's gruff tone, "This is an opportunity to be rid of any interference. You'll see. Just leave it to me."
The one on the right waved an arm in front of him, "Leave it to you! How many times have you told us that? Where is the progress you promised?"
"My fellow Noxians, do not worry. You know very well how the raven works. Everything must be exact, and I agree with that philosophy wholeheartedly."
Falnic took a brief moment of silence, then nodded, "Give me two days. Then you shall see your 'progress.'"
The three summoners looked at each other again, deliberating. The middle one turned back to Falnic.
"Two days," He confirmed, "Any longer and we take matters into our own hands."
Falnic nodded, and as they shuffled out of the hidden room, his grin faded to a frown.
"Idiots," He muttered to no one in particular, returning to his book.
Hey Riven, you awake yet?
Riven opened her eyes and quickly looked around, a hand instinctively reaching for her sword, before she recognized Nigel's voice. She shuddered at the invasiveness she felt by it.
'What do you need?'
I need to know if you ever met Takura.
'Who?'
The summoner who called on you for your first practice match.
'...According to your logs.'
According to our logs.
'No, I never met him. And I don't plan to. Why?'
He's been found. He's dead.
Riven sat up properly. 'What? How?'
We're not quite sure yet. But... it looks like he was tortured for something.
'Who would...?' Riven thought, before a swell of stress rushed through her gut, 'I'm a suspect, aren't I?'
Nigel didn't respond right away.
'I didn't do it!'
... I know. But they can't determine that for sure as of yet. I've tried to convince them of it, but we'll need something more concrete. The evidence... well, it isn't looking so good.
'And what the hell does that mean?'
It means that if someone else did it, they're trying to set you up.
Riven grit her teeth. Why would someone do that? ...Was it someone from Noxus? It had to be.
The doctor from that day came to mind.
"The League will need you soon."
What did he mean by that? For some reason, Riven was important to someone, enough that she needed to be removed. She tried to think of who would possibly be, but couldn't settle on anyone. She had made many enemies in the past...
Her hand found the hilt of her blade, causing the runes to glow in response. If she found the person responsible for this, she'd-
Not helping your case. Riven.
Riven closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. 'What should I do?'
For now... Just keep an eye out for yourself. If someone's got ill intentions for you, they might not stop here. I'll try to deal with the situation on this end.
'You're sounding very professional today, Nigel,' Riven commented, her body relaxing again.
Am I? I guess... I think the situation is just making me that way.
Riven opened her eyes. 'Then there's really nothing I can do to defend myself?'
I'm sure coming back to the League wouldn't hurt your image.
Riven considered the thought, but her instincts were telling her it was wrong. She was caught up in too much in Ionia to just up and leave. Her sword, the tournament... Lux... Her kiss came to mind. She couldn't remember the exact moment it had happened, but the moment just after was the clearest in her memories. Her gut fluttered, and then hit rock again as she continued the memory to what happened afterward.
Umm... Riven?
Oh shit. Riven's eyes widened.
'Did you see that?' She asked quickly.
Well...
Riven groaned and covered her face. This was so embarrassing.
... For what it's worth, I'm not judging you. Lux is... really something.
'Not helping,' Riven replied irritatedly.
But what happened, towards the end? You seemed upset, but I didn't see why.
Riven stayed silent, and attempted to control her thoughts. It was more difficult than usual, given the amount of stress she was in.
You know, I can help, Riven. That's kind of why I'm here.
'You're here to butt into my personal life?'
That's... not it... I'm here to make sure you're comfortable as a League champion. Whatever the case, I'm meant to help you in that regard.
Riven clenched her fists. She didn't want to admit it... but she could use some help getting through this. It was too difficult to go over by herself.
She viewed the memory again for Nigel's sake, emphasizing the parts that upset her. Nigel was silent as he went over it. She felt him considering his words before transmitting them to her.
Riven, I can understand why you're upset. Heck, I would be too. But I think you're overreacting a bit.
'Overreacting? She lied to me!'
Which happens more often than you think in relationships.
'Then I'll do without them.'
Riven. Hear me out. I need to tell you this. Lux isn't... normal. I realized that when I first summoned her. She's brilliant, to a scary degree. But that's also taken a toll on her ability to really connect with people.
Some of Lux's words came to mind with Nigel's explanation, and Riven felt like she suddenly understood the meaning behind them.
-"He really is a simple one, huh?"-
-"I don't really feel any sort of connection with him."-
-"I don't think he'd keep my attention for very long."-
...
-"Do you ever feel like your life is a lie?"-
Meanwhile, Nigel continued, I think the reason she's trying so hard is because she truly has feelings for you, and she doesn't know how else to act on them.
Riven sighed, Biting her lip. She could actually see Nigel's point, but refused to think she was overreacting. She had every right to be upset. To think Lux could say she understood her when she couldn't even figure out that lying to her was wrong.
To be fair, Nigel interrupted, She was courteous enough to inform you of her lying. That's better than some things I've seen others do.
'And how am I supposed to know if this isn't more acting?'
... Well, I guess you don't.
Riven twitched slightly, 'When does the pretending stop? How do I know if I'm talking to the real Lux or not?'
...
Riven breathed a sigh, exasperated. This wasn't really helping. It was just frustrating her more. She had too much weighing on her mind right now to be worrying about this. She looked out the window, searching for a distraction, only to find it was getting brighter outside.
'I need to go, Nigel,' She thought, half to escape the discussion, the other half her paranoia of being late.
I take it you're not coming back to the League then?
'No,' Riven answered, 'I've got unfinished business here.'
The Noxian schemes could wait.
The outer area of the stadium was wide and open, and somehow still managed to be full of people. A queue extended from every entrance of the enormous building, and Riven struggled with herself to get closer, wondering where she was supposed to go. She assumed there was an entrance for competitors, but hadn't had the foresight to ask the lady at the inn that much. She had thought directions might suffice.
At the very least, she was glad she wasn't attracting as much attention today. Wearing her hood up seemed to help matters, though her dark skin still drew short stares. While she stood there staring at the daunting figure of the stadium and considering her options, a man's voice called out nearby.
"Celt!"
She might have ignored it, had she not used the name frequently enough in her past to react to it. She turned to look for the source and saw Lee Sin, facing her direction, yet unmoving. He seemed to be listening for something.
Riven took a step towards him, and he turned his head immediately to 'look' at her, smiling.
"There you are," He announced, the slur in his speech kicking in again.
"How did you know it was me?" Riven asked skeptically.
"Your shoes. I memorized their sound yesterday," He explained simply.
"There's no way you can pick out the sound of my shoes with all this noise," Riven countered doubtfully.
"A bat finds its prey by listening for it amongst the sounds of the night," Lee Sin replied in a mystical tone.
Riven smirked, "So you're a bat now."
Lee Sin shrugged with a gentle smile, "I am what I am whenever I need to be."
Riven shook her head, giving up. "So where should I be going, Mr. Bat?"
Lee Sin frowned, "Now that, I am not sure. I am unfamiliar with the layout of this area, and was hoping you might know."
Riven gave him a mocking stare, before realizing he wouldn't see it. "I don't know how you'd expect me to know. I haven't been here before either."
"Then," Lee Sin suggested, "Shall we look together? Two eyes are better than none."
Riven nodded, grinning at the joke, and then hummed her confirmation for Lee Sin's sake. He seemed far less serious than she would have expected, at least from what she'd heard of him. How could such a carefree attitude provoke such a display as setting oneself on fire in protest?
Riven's mood dampened a little as she remembered the reason for the protest. Ionia was simply trying to reclaim the land captured by Noxus, and nobody was listening. Lee Sin's display had captured their attention, and led to the rematch within the League, where they had won.
Riven hadn't watched the rematch, due to her muddled feelings of the event. Part of her would hate to see Noxus lose, while another part wanted Ionia to win, just to put an end to their conflict. The outcome, as a result, didn't have as much an effect on her as she thought it might. It only reminded her of the past, and how unfixable it was. She had passingly thought that if she'd been in the League, she might have offered to fight for Ionia in a strange attempt at forgiveness. The idea was rather wishful, now that she thought about it. She was kind of glad she wasn't there for it, lest she do something rash and embarrass herself. Her vague goal of fixing Noxus was far from complete, and something like that would hardly help.
She decided that once she had time to think about it clearly, she'd try to figure it out further. She didn't always rely on strategies and plans, but for something as large as this, it was necessary. And for now, it would just remain a hopeful beacon for the future.
"Lee Sin!" A voice called from afar. Riven turned and peered out from below her hood to find a well-dressed young woman approach the blind monk. He smiled in response.
"I know that voice. How are you, Sayara?"
Sayara beamed, brushing a dark lock of hair away from her face. "I'm doing well, Lee. It's been so long! I missed you! How are you doing?"
Lee Sin chuckled, "I am as always, aside from a new permanent disability."
"Well that much is obvious," Sayara replied sarcastically, punching his shoulder, "I wasn't going to mention it, but since you brought it up, I'm going to call you a godsdamn idiot."
Lee Sin simply laughed.
"Seriously," Sayara continued, "You had such gorgeous eyes! It's such a waste!"
Lee Sin didn't laugh this time, and actually looked uncomfortable. "You know why I had to do it."
"Right, right. Redemption, remorse, all that crap."
Riven squinted at the last phrase, her attention grabbed. Unfortunately, Lee Sin grunted in response, and changed the subject before she learned more. "So what are you doing here, Sayara? Come to watch the match?"
"Yeah, that too."
"Hm?"
"That's part of my job here. I'm one of the organizers."
"Really?" Lee Sin asked in amusement, "That's excellent. Good for you. Now, I don't suppose you might know where a couple of contenders should be headed?"
Sayara laughed, "That's why I'm out here, dummy. I was looking for you. C'mon!"
She took a step towards the arena, waving an arm to follow, before stopping again.
"Wait, did you say a couple?" She asked, turning around. Lee Sin beckoned to Riven, and Sayara did a double-take.
"Woah! I didn't even see you there!" She exclaimed.
Riven frowned a little. It usually didn't take much to avoid attention, especially when someone was so absorbed in something else.
"Then, you must be Celt, right? The mysterious last-minute entry," Sayara mused, stepping in for a closer look. "You look tough. Good."
Riven thought she saw something else in her expression, but couldn't tell what it was. Somewhere between suspicion and... jealousy?
"Well," Sayara said with a spin, "Let's be off! It's going to start soon!"
Within minutes, they were through the crowd and at the designated entrance. Sayara's authoritative tone gave them a wide berth from the rest of the people at the stadium, giving Riven the space she needed.
A quote was carved into the light-coloured stone above the doorway, much like the one at the League's Reflection Chamber. The words, however, were indecipherable to Riven. Her knowledge of the Ionian language was not up to par. As they passed through, both Sayara and Lee Sin muttered a phrase like a prayer, and again, Riven was left in the dark. She felt a little too shy to ask what it was.
Sayara led them through a short hallway and into a grandiose training hall, where a couple other individuals waited. Riven spotted Tori across the room, frowning in annoyance. He was absorbed in practising some moves on a wooden dummy, and she took a moment to study his form. It appeared to be some sort of cross between standard Noxian military, likely learned from his father, and a small amount of the more popular Ionian styles. From his movements, she could tell he'd spent a great deal of time on it, but somehow felt it was a strange and ineffective mix. Noxians preferred quick, decisive strikes, while Ionians mingled art with battle, creating a consistent flow of movements.
She wondered what a master of both could accomplish with it, promptly determining Tori was neither. Going by the saying "Ten thousand hours to master," she guessed that Tori had spent maybe a couple thousand, but was still far off. His loose and unrefined movements gave him away. But still, Riven made a note to review her military training in her head, in order to best counter it.
"We'll be starting soon, everyone," Sayara announced loudly as they walked by, "So please make your way to the contender's area outside! The match-ups will occur there in front of the audience!"
She turned back to Riven and Lee Sin and said "You two can keep following me. Everyone else has arrived and been given the tour already."
Riven looked around nervously as a sudden thought came to mind, "Is... Lux here?"
Sayara rolled her eyes, "Another fan? Yeah, she's here. She's making a show of herself outside. Seriously, some people just can't get enough attention."
Riven cast her eyes away with a mixture of emotions welling up inside her. She tried to force it away, reminding herself this wasn't the time.
What she didn't see as they exited the room was a pile of animal skins leaned against the wall, or the beast of a man underneath them. With a grunt, he stirred restlessly.
"She is one," He said gruffly to the figure meditating beside him.
"I know," The figure replied.
"You know? Ha, here we thought you humans were deprived of your senses."
"There are more senses than the physical ones, Udyr."
"Hmph. Show us proof and we shall consider them."
A brief silence nulled the argument, and Udyr began again. "So what will you do, we wonder."
"The same as always. I will observe and strike where appropriate, swiftly, vengefully."
Udyr grunted again, "Vengeance. That is one thing we will never understand. Revenge, though, we may consider every now and then."
"And what is the difference?"
Udyr laughed heartily, "We do not care for the dead. What is gone is gone. Only the living can survive, and that is all that matters. If someone harms us and we survive, we shall pay them their dues. Taking revenge for someone else is meaningless. That is why you are as much an outcast as we, Master Yi."
Yi opened his eyes, releasing a long-held breath, "Perhaps. But it changes nothing. Change is brought violently, just as we have seen and felt."
Udyr growled as he stood up, cracking his knuckles, "Now that, we can agree with. Come, Yi. Let us fight in this tournament. We shall have our fun, and you shall have your revenge."
"Vengeance," Yi corrected, glowering. He too stood and followed Udyr into the passage that led to the field.