Oh BOY! This chapter is what I was dying to write the whole time I've been writing this story...cause I finally get to write next chapter now! WOOOO!
You will be angry with me at the end of this chapter.
She couldn't do it.
She had told herself she'd march right down there and into his room, tell him everything before someone else did. But when it came down to it she balked, shutting her door and fisting her hands in her hair as she sunk to the floor and choked on her breath. "It's okay. It's okay." she panted, voice cracking and breath only quickening further.
"Can't go back." she gasped, "Can't go back."
She stood abruptly and paced, one hand loosely pressed against her forehead and the other propped on her hip. "Calm down." she told herself, repeating it even as her heart rate increased. The rational part of her brain suggested that Lord Smith might not even recognize her, after all, it had been at least five years since she'd seen him last...maybe less.
'But what if he does?'
"UUGHH!" she groaned, smacking her palm into her forehead, "Shut up. Shut up!" she hissed at herself. "Calm the fuck down, Hanji..." she said as she knelt beside her bed and propped her head on her hands. "Can't lose it like this." she told herself.
She wouldn't. She wouldn't allow herself to keep this intense panic up. If she couldn't tell Levi, if she didn't have the guts, then the best thing to do would be to simply avoid Erwin Smith at this festival. In a town so small...it would be difficult, she was sure, but she would do it nonetheless.
She took a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly. 'That's better.' she thought to herself, closing her eyes in relief as her heart stopped it's anxious fluttering.
Hanji reopened her eyes and hummed as she stood, brushing her disheveled hair out of her face and reaching her hair band to tie it into it's customary ponytail. She was by no means truly ready for this, a confrontation with someone who knew her. But either way, it was unavoidable at best. All she could possibly do was prepare.
"Better, much better." Isabel said, checking Hanji's stance from every angle, "You have issues keeping your arm up proper with the string taut. Elbow high, move so the strain goes in your back, not your arm." she instructed, and Hanji moved her arm accordingly.
"Like this?" Hanji asked, tossing her head to get the hair out of her face.
"Yes." Isabel smiled, "You'll be able to shoot an arrow soon. Just remember the stance well, you'll strain yourself or kill someone otherwise." the redhead nodded to signal for Hanji to lower the bow.
"Heh." Hanji scoffed, "I'll sure remember that." she put the bow down against the barn wall and leaned against it as she drank the offered cup of water from Isabel. "It wasn't all that tiring, you know." she said in reference to the water in her hand.
"Of course not, it wasn't for my training." Isabel gestured to Levi across the way and sitting on the small porch of the cabin. "He said he was gonna be training you in swordsmanship." she explained, "Don't gulp the water, you'll be moving around quite a bit if I know Levi."
Hanji nodded, "Alright." she bit her lip and glanced to the side, her internal conversation from the morning coming back to her.
"He trained me, you know." Isabel said, gazing at her older brother in admiration, "And Lord Smith trained him." she added on.
Hanji shuffled in place and gulped, "You know this...Lord Smith...well, then?" she asked, looking down at her feet.
"Aye, he's a good man, particularly so for a Lord. He took a liking to Levi when he first stumbled upon us. A few dirty young teens and two little kids run away from our orphanage." Isabel said with a chuckle, "Insightful, is how I would describe the man. Intelligent too. He saw potential in Levi, and offered us safe hold here while he trained him."
"So...why did you have to pay him off for the deed?" Hanji asked in confusion.
Isabel tilted her head and hummed, "Levi didn't see it as right to have this land for nothing, and Erwin was appreciative of that, spoke about how honorable he was and shit like that, only made him like Levi that much more." she said, "Levi went off on little odd jobs for him and other Lords, it's how we got into the mercenary work. He would come back and teach us, give his earnings to Smith and soon enough he brought us with him on his trips, after two or three years."
Hanji nodded, glancing at Levi in contemplation. She did think she had recognized his voice when she first met him, only a little...perhaps that was why? Perhaps she had heard a few years ago him in her home, back in Macedonia, while he possibly dealt with her father?
'That makes a lot of sense, actually.' she thought to herself with a hum of surprise.
"Are you done gossiping about me?" Levi asked, and Hanji jolted out of her reverie with a gasp.
"We weren't gossiping." Isabel scoffed, "It was just a bit of history."
"Right. Whatever." Levi said, handing Hanji a wooden sword.
Hanji chuckled, "Where'd you get this?" she asked, looking it over. It looked worn with age and was chipped in some places.
"Oi, that was mine wasn't it?" Isabel stepped up and grasped it by it's blunt blade.
"Yes, it was." Levi said, holding up a wooden sword of his own, "Now get out of my hair so I can get on with it." he used his sword to smack his sister on her rear as she fled, making her squeal and cackle.
Hanji giggled to herself and brushed her bangs behind her ear, blushing as she studied Levi's profile. Her eyes glazed over his nose, small and slightly pointed, and incredibly adorable. At least she thought so. And his eyes, intimidating and cold steel when she first met him, but beautiful and delightfully warm grey to her now.
She was admiring his delectably kissable lips when he turned to face her, and she jumped at having been caught ogling.
"Were you staring at me?" he asked, his lip quirking at one end only just slightly.
Hanji recovered from her embarrassment quickly, "Oh shut up, I'm not going to dignify that with an answer and inflate your ego any further." she said with a smirk.
Levi pursed his lips and shook his head, fighting a smile most diligently. "Don't look at me like that, we're meant to be sparring not snogging." he said as he walked away, "Come on then."
"I'd much prefer snogging." Hanji said as she followed him, a smug grin spread across her face.
"Hanji..." Levi said in warning, turning to her with his lower lip tugged between his teeth and his gaze in any direction but hers, "You're pushing it." he said.
"I like pushing it." she shot back.
Levi sighed and looked at her, obviously weary of her teasing.
"What?"
"Stop it." he said, weighing the wooden sword in his hand, "What do you know of swordsmanship?" he asked.
"Only what I've observed." Hanji shrugged, most pointedly eyeing him up and down and smirking as she spoke.
"Show me, then." Levi held his sword up, grip firm and pose elegant as he pointed it at her expertly.
She nodded and adjusted her own grip on her sword, putting one foot forward and turning her body sideways, mirroring his pose and holding her wooden blade up with a slightly shaky hand.
Levi examined her, raising a brow, "You're just mimicking me."
"No I'm not!" she said, dropping the sword's end to the snow and rolling her eyes, "It's what I saw other men do in training. I'm mimicking them, not you." she said as she raised her blade again.
"What other men?" Levi stepped forward testily, sword raised, scaring her enough to make her step back once.
"Are you jealous?" she giggled, gasping and nearly tripping over her feet when he tapped her sword with his.
"Stance steady!" he instructed, "And no, I am not." he said, demonstrating his stance once again for her.
Hanji corrected herself and readjusted her grip on the sword, blocking his next hit only just barely. The sword was knocked out of her hand seconds later and a wooden blade pressed softly against her throat. She gasped at the motion, and Levi's proximity. "That's not fair," she said, breathless, "You're supposed to be teaching me."
He narrowed his gaze, "I am teaching you." he said, "You need to learn how to dance on your feet, block me, even strike me." he stepped closer and removed the sword from her neck and tugged her down by her collar, "You won't learn if I treat you like glass." he murmured.
She nodded, eyes fixed on his lips.
"So..." he turned away and picked up her sword, handing it to her and walking a few feet away before he spun on his heel and resumed his stance, "Ready to learn?" he asked.
"Yes." she breathed, biting her lip and glancing down hungrily.
"Don't look at my cock." he reprimanded.
"I'm not looking at your cock!" she defended.
"Well there's nothing else down there for you to look at, so what else am I to make of it?" he said with a scoff.
"I'm focused! I'm focused!" she exclaimed, "Just have at me!" she said, raising her sword.
Only to have it knocked out of her hand again.
"You need to build strength in your arms. No matter what Grisha said about your muscles or whatever." he sighed, "Pick it up."
They sparred for nearly a full hour, and by the time she finally dropped her sword for good she was lathered in sweat under her cloth and furs, hair plastered to her forehead and breath heavy as she dropped to her knees. She was well battered and bruised, having not landed a single blow on Levi, but sustained many herself.
"Not bad, Hanji." he said as he approached her, tossing his sword down beside hers.
"I didn't hit you at all." she panted.
"It's not about hitting me. Not right now." he said, kneeling down on one leg and lifting her chin, "Right now you just need to focus on your stance, your footwork, and not letting me hit you." he said.
She nodded and exhaled sharply, "Right."
He smiled a little, "Tired?"
"Yes." she sighed.
"Sore?"
She hummed in an affirmative.
"Good." he said, kissing her on her forehead.
"So can we snog now?" she asked with a grin, chuckling when he groaned and hung his head. "Can we?" she prodded, shuffling to her knees to be at eye level with him. She was teasing...partially. But regardless she still tugged him in closer and nudged her nose against his. "Hmm?"
He didn't resist her, thank goodness, and she kissed him with fervor, tugging him down hard enough to make him fall on both knees. In retaliation he pressed forward, in every sense of the phrase. Though his vigor was a little too much at that particular moment, and she lost her balance, unprepared. She yelped as she tumbled backward into the snow.
"Ahh! That's cold..." she hissed as the snow began to seep into her thinner layers of clothing. Coupled with her sweat, it was in no way pleasant. "I'm gonna get all wet now." she scolded as he straddled her and pinned her hands by her side.
"Are you now?" he murmured, and her breath hitched.
"Oh..." she breathed when she realized her own implication. He smiled, steely eyes hooded and dark with desire. "Erm-" she interrupted when he began to reach for her pants, "-my cycle...it's...um..." she shrugged.
He scoffed and kissed her, "Thanks for getting me riled up then." he scolded and moved his lips to her jaw.
"Sorry." she said with a blush of embarrassment, "I forgot about it till now."
"Don't worry, I'm only teasing." he said.
"You never sound like you're teasing." she pursed her bottom lip in a pout.
"Well I am."
"You know, it's really cold." her body shivered as if to prove her point.
He stood up and off of her at that, hoisting her up and nudging her towards the house. "Go change and sit at the fire." he said.
"Alright." she nodded, turning around last minute for one more kiss, soft and simple, before she headed inside with a contented smile upon her face.
"He kick your ass, then?"
Hanji looked up in surprise when she registered that the voice belonged to Mikasa. "Uh...well, yeah." she admitted with a ting of hurt pride seeping into her voice.
Mikasa sat down and chuckled softly, "Don't be embarrassed," she said, "He kicked mine too, Isabel's, Farlan's, and Eren's, when he taught us."
Hanji smiled, "He taught Eren?" she asked.
Mikasa shrugged, "He liked him well enough until he got old enough and started taking a liking to me...and I to him. You know how brothers are." she said, grunting as she lifted her feet up onto the couch beside her and rubbed the sole of one of them.
Hanji nodded, "I wouldn't know." she said with a slight smile.
"Right, sorry." Mikasa grimaced.
"Don't be, I don't mind it." Hanji tugged her blanket together over her chest and shuffled closer to the fire, "I'm kind of glad of it. I'd worry, I reckon, if I had siblings."
"Well of course you would." Mikasa giggled, "All siblings worry."
"I suppose that's true." Hanji hummed, leaning back in her chair with a sigh. She glanced up at Mikasa and tilted her head, "So, are you and Eren going to marry?" she asked.
Mikasa blinked, "Well...yes. Soon, if all goes right." she said, looking down at her stomach, "Probably sometime during the festival."
Hanji squirmed slightly at the mention, reminded of her inner turmoil. "How long is it?"
"Hmm?"
"The festival." Hanji clarified, "Is it a night or does it span many?"
"Oh." Mikasa nodded, thinking it over, "About two days, give or take depending on various circumstances." she said.
"And what does it celebrate?" Hanji asked, tugging her hair out of the band and running her fingers through it to untangle the knots.
"Well, it won't be long before everyone down there is all shut up in the house over blizzards and such. It's really just the people getting together and having fun, warmth and food before it's gone for the next few months." Mikasa explained.
Hanji nodded, "I see."
"Everyone down in the village is really nice." Mikasa continued, "I've grown to know them well over the past few years. You'd like the innkeeper, Abigail."
"Pardon me."
Both paused in their chat and Mikasa allowed Eren to sit beside her, lifting her legs and draping them over his lap while her back rested against the arm of the couch. "As I was saying, you'd like her." Mikasa said, turning her head to look at Hanji. "She's very jovial, more so than Isabel. You can't grow bored listening to her."
"You talking about Abigail?" Eren asked, chewing on some smoked venison.
"Don't talk with your mouth full!" Mikasa thwacked him upside the head, "How do you expect to raise a child with no manners?" she scolded.
Eren swallowed his mouthful and snickered, "Sorry Mika." he said.
Hanji smiled, "She sounds nice." she said, "Abigail."
Mikasa gave a smile of her own, "I'll introduce you to her when we go down there." she said, "She's also a wonderful cook, taught me most of what I know."
Hanji nodded, biting her lip and looking back to the fire as she tuned out the rest of Mikasa's words. If she couldn't even go one day without cringing inside every time the damned festival was mentioned, how was she going to last two whole weeks?
"Ahh! Levi..."
Well, that was a way. Not that she was complaining. In fact, she hadn't thought of her anxiety at all today, despite having done so constantly for the past four days. After all, it's hard to be anxious when your not-quite-lover has their hand down your non-existent pants.
Levi had jumped her early that morning, after an extremely subtle greeting and those obviously desiring eyes that she was growing used to seeing from him. Perhaps he had one of those delectable dreams that she was having increasingly often recently. She wasn't too concerned with why, though, her only thought being that he had better not stop.
He hoisted her up further against the wall and she bit her lip to keep quiet, failing miserably to do so. "Oh God...mmm!"
"Shh!" he scolded, pressing his forehead to hers and adjusting her leg around his waist, "I may like hearing this, but I doubt Isabel and Farlan will." he said, crooking his finger inside her and smirking when she slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle herself.
"It can't be that good." he said incredulously, "It's nothing special." he repeated the motion, and she jerked in place, whining softly.
"Ah...you...wouldn't know." she huffed, "Stop talking and just keep doing that." she demanded.
"Doing this?" he said, crooking his finger repeatedly, and she gasped, seizing up and her body convulsing once or twice.
"Shit...oh shit..." she panted, slumping back against the wall and dropping one leg from his hip to keep herself propped up.
"Feeling better?" he asked, using his clean hand to brush her sweaty bangs from her face.
"What?" she murmured, "Better?"
He shrugged, "You've been..." he paused to look for the right word, "...depressed. Anxious? I don't know."
She opened her eyes and looked at him, "You could tell?" she asked, a slight smile upon her lips.
"I told you, I like to think I know you." he said.
She hummed appreciatively and kissed him, toying with the longer hair at the back of his head, "I think you do." she sighed, kissing him again, "And I appreciate it, very much so." she said with a smile. "Thank you."
He stepped back, and she followed, planting herself on his lap when he sat at the end of her bed. "So is that a yes?"
"Yes." she kissed him once more before she hugged him tightly.
A knock on the door had them jolting, though it stayed closed as the intruder spoke, "You might as well move into his room, right Hanji?"
"For fuck's sake, Isabel!" Levi exclaimed, "Leave us be for once."
"Just saying, you'll benefit from it." Isabel called as she walked away, her footsteps receding down the stairs.
Hanji kissed his shoulder, "Don't mind her, she gets a kick out of your reaction, you know." she said, Isabel had told her as much after all.
"Of course she does." Levi sighed, "Less so now that you're here, I suppose." he stroked her clothed arm, glancing up at her.
"It's cause I entertain her, lucky for you. I suppose you ought to thank me now. Don't you?" she grinned cheekily, tracing a finger down his chest and lightly tugging at the ties of his shirt.
"You're not tired?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she scoffed, "I'll have you know I could go at you all day, if you allowed it." she leaned forward to nip at his neck, suckling lightly like he had to her the first time.
"Could you?" he gave a scoff of his own, a light hum of pleasure escaping him when she laved her tongue over his pulse.
"I could." she confirmed, sitting back and grinding against him purposefully.
He stiffened and grunted, hands moving to her hips to hold her in place. "And what about your practice today?"
"Fuck practice, I have all the time in the world for that." she chuckled.
"You won't get better if you skip lessons." he chided.
"Only one lesson lost, it won't stunt my growth." she shrugged.
"Yes it will." he said, "Not that I care." he rolled them over and she yelped, dissolving into giggles when his fingers found her sides.
"Hanji, Mikasa said to-oh God! Shit!"
Levi looked over his shoulder and glared at Armin, who was covering his eyes and turning his head away.
Hanji tugged her shirt down over her privates and chuckled in embarrassment, "Tell Mikasa I'll be right down, Armin." she instructed.
"Right, sorry." Armin nodded behind his hand, "I didn't see anything, by the way." the poor boy added as he made his escape before he was accosted (or more like brutally murdered) by Levi.
"Which translates to: 'I saw your cunt cause your lover didn't lock the damn door'." Hanji smirked up at Levi, who turned his scowl on her. "Like I told you to, by the way." she added.
"Shut up and put some pants on."
The rest of the wait passed swiftly, with the occasional coupling between her and Levi every now and again. She improved in both sword skills and archery, though Isabel often told her that she "-couldn't hit the broad side of a barn at ten feet." She didn't mean it, of course, but Hanji was better at swordplay than the bow. A fact that made her exceedingly jealous of her brother for all the extra time he spent with Hanji.
To which Levi often responded with a scoff and a firm kiss when Hanji told him of it. And so she did often, if only for the chance of a snogging. He was distracting enough that she had forgotten about the festival about four or five days before it actually came back to bite her in the ass. So when she woke up to the dress Isabel had hemmed tossed in her face, she had to reconcile with her anxiety all over again.
"Wake up, sleeping beauty!" Isabel said, opening her curtains and letting the sunrise beam in. "Today's the festival. Everyone will want a bath, so I suggest you take yours while Levi still has claim on the washroom." she said with a smile as she headed out the door, "Don't dally!"
Hanji rubbed at her eye as she sat up, a little bewildered and entirely flustered. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood, pulling some pants on loosely to preserve her modesty before she followed Isabel's advice and headed downstairs. The bathroom door would be locked, she knew, so she slipped into some boots - her own this time - and went around the back.
"Hey Levi." she said as she burst in, and he was taken aback, giving a most satisfactory yelp and spinning in place in the tub. "Oooh." she said, followed with a low whistle, "I wonder what you've been hiding in your pants." she approached the tub and planted her hands on the rim, peering in only to have her scandalous view blocked by his hands in his lap.
"Hanji!" he hissed, giving her his customary scowl and gesturing loosely with his shoulders as if to say 'What the fuck are you thinking?!'
"Awww!" she cooed, pursing her lip in a pout, "And here I thought I might see it after you've seen my womanhood so many times." she said.
"Three times." he said in correction.
"That's still three more times than I've seen your cock, Shorty." she held up three fingers and then let her hands fall in the water, swishing it around.
"Don't call me Shorty."
"But you're mine, aren't you? I can call you whatever I want." she said with a smile, reaching her hand forward to toy with his bottom lip.
"Who ever said I was yours?" Levi kissed her thumb.
"Nobody." she slid her opposite hand around his neck and pulled him in for a chaste kiss, "I simply assumed as much."
He sighed, exasperated, "Fair enough. I'll be done in a minute. Can you just give me that minute, please?" he asked, "We're in a hurry and we don't have time to cater to your desires right now. Even if I may share them."
"Right." she said with a nod, standing to pull her shirt over her head and her pants around her ankles. "I'll just hop in then. To save time." she stepped into the water.
Levi jolted and stood, "Hanji!"
"Oh...wow." she grinned, chewing on her lower lip as she took him in. He realized only a second too late that he had removed his hands. And so he turned around and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ohh that's just as good." she hummed to herself, reaching forward to pinch his ass, and she cackled when he kicked water up at her.
"For fuck's sake." he sighed, running his fingers through his sudsy hair and looking at her over his shoulder.
"By all means, continue." she gestured toward him, and she raised a brow when he furrowed his, " Please, I'm only bathing, Levi." she said with a smug grin, already lathering the soap bar against her arms and chest. "I can't promise I won't ogle you, but I'm not going to jump your pretty bones, I swear." she said.
"If I know you, you'll jump em anyway." Levi grumbled, sitting down and dunking himself under to rinse his hair.
Hanji laughed, shaking her head and closing her eyes as she lathered the soap into her hair. 'God, I love him.'
Her dress was simple, folksy...pretty. Not golden in color, shimmery and laced with gems or silver like the last dress she wore, but soft grey and blue with a wide skirt built for vigorous dancing. Isabel had fine taste in her dresses, Hanji would say that much. She apparently liked the shoulders bare, just as Hanji did, and the neckline swooped low enough for Hanji to feel a little self-conscious, but not enough to let the cold in.
She admired herself in Isabel's mirror, the only one in the house, and hummed as she turned around and looked at her rear, a slight pout appeared on her lips when she realized the material didn't hug it as tightly as she hoped. And she couldn't tease and rile Levi with it.
"Oh well." she sighed.
"Oh well?" Mikasa stepped out from Isabel's closet and smoothed down her dress, heather grey and rimmed with black on the sleeves and skirt.
"Nothing." Hanji spun in place and tilted her head, mouth quirked in a smile, "Aww, Mikasa!" she cooed, stepping forward and feeling the fabric of the girl's dress. "You look lovely."
Mikasa blushed, fingering the black sash on her stomach, "I had to adjust it for my belly." she said.
"Oh come now, I can barely tell the difference. And besides, even if I could, there's no need to feel bashful over it." she smoothed Mikasa's hair back and began gathering the raven colored, thick locks into her hands.
"What are you doing?" Mikasa asked.
"Putting your hair up." Hanji answered, brushing the younger girl's (curled) hair with Isabel's brush and pulling it into an elaborate up-do. She learned how to do it when she was younger, both to herself and others. It left the bangs out and framing the face while the rest of the hair twisted up into a bun, the leftover draping down and over one shoulder in a loose curl.
Hanji pinned in in place and then maneuvered Mikasa over to the mirror. "What do you think?"
Mikasa smiled, "Where did you learn to do that?" she asked.
"My hair used to be longer, I had to deal with it somehow." Hanji said with a wave of her hand.
"Oh?" Mikasa turned around, "How long was it?"
Hanji hesitated, but she tapped her hip to show how long it had been before, "Pretty long."
"Wow!" Mikasa exclaimed, "That's longer than mine. Why did you cut it?"
Hanji spun on her heel and winced, "Eh-um, I was tired of it." she said.
"Oh, yes I can imagine that." Mikasa said with a shrug, "Everyone is waiting downstairs. What do you say we go dazzle our men?" she bumped hips with Hanji as she headed towards the door.
"Did you steal that line from Isabel?"
"Yes."
Both girls chuckled as they descended the stairs, and Hanji locked away Levi's expression upon seeing her with the most tender, loving care. Adoration was too light a word to describe it. She went with awestruck, and she kissed him when he took her hand, despite their company.
Isabel and Farlan both hooted and whistled, and Hanji broke away in embarrassment. Isabel herself wore a dress styled similarity to hers, but in a dark, forest green rather than the blue and grey of Hanji's dress. Shorter as well, to accommodate the woman's petite figure.
The men, including Armin and Eren, were dressed well, likely more so than the townsfolk might be, due to their circumstances. They all had black jackets to accentuate white or grey shirts, and Levi wore a cravat, one that Hanji started toying with the moment she saw it.
"Are we all ready, then?" Farlan asked, holding his elbow out for Isabel, "The wagon is outside."
"Wagon?" Hanji questioned, having never seen one around the cabin, or in the barn for that matter.
"I went down and borrowed it from Doctor Jäger yesterday. He always lends it to us before the festival." Farlan explained.
"Riding in dresses in a nightmare." Mikasa said in a hushed voice.
"You can say that again." Isabel looked over her shoulder to say.
Hanji nodded, she knew that quite well, growing up as a Lady. She smiled at Levi when he hoisted her up into the back of the wagon, and he went around the front to sit with Farlan and help guide the horses. She sat down just behind the front seat with Isabel on one side and Mikasa on another. Armin and Eren sat on the sides, chatting away just as much as the women.
The ride down was a little tiring, given that it took so long. But they made it to the festival before Hanji decided she might go mad with boredom. She had never been so happy to step off of a wagon, or carriage rather, but who cares of the difference? The village was bright with stringed, colored lanterns and torch poles. A wooden platform was in the middle of town, large and full of dancing, jovial townsfolk already. Near the inn there were many tables and chairs and all were lined with food and drink.
Hanji took it in, used to balls and sophisticated, slow, calculated dances, vintage wine and behaving prim and proper. This was freeing, to see people drink ales and women kick up their frilly skirts while dancing. To see a band with guitars and percussion rather than a pianoforte and various stringed instruments. Some of those same instruments were present, but far more upbeat than she was used to.
Overall, the festival easily painted a genuine smile upon her lips, and she followed her company's lead without hesitation, leaping into the fray and forgetting her fears all too easily. "This is beautiful!" she murmured, awed and captivated by the entirety of her surroundings.
"Are you hungry?" Levi asked.
She turned, slightly startled at the reminder of his presence, "Yes, famished." she said with a soft smile.
Levi led her around the dancing and the people who conversed on the outskirts of the dance floor. And she was greeted with the tables she had seen from afar. "Eat what you will, Abigail has the whole village more than covered." he gestured to the tables littered with food and drink, along with plates and utensils at each of the tables.
There were around seven tables, each comprised of many small tables and pressed together to equal the length of the inn, which was easily larger than the cabin they lived in. Hanji hardly noticed Levi leaving her side, and she hastily made herself a plate of vittles. Some venison and many cooked, root vegetables, along with a roll of bread and a cup of wine. She sat down and ate, watching the dancing.
At some point she met Abigail, the woman was kind, her hair bright red and her figure slimmer than she had imagined. She spoke with her for a time, listening to various funny stories from her life. Hanji quite enjoyed speaking with her, though the woman had to take her leave after nearly an hour of speaking. At that point Hanji looked around and realized that in her distraction, she had lost sight of her companions.
Not that she couldn't find them easily. Eyeing the crowd, she spotted Mikasa and Eren, who were talking with Grisha, Armin was speaking to a blonde girl she hadn't ever heard of, and Isabel and Farlan had wasted no time in joining the dance. As for Levi...
She glanced around a few times, frowning as she finished her last bite and standing up to better spot him. She sipped at her wine and hummed, turning from the festival to look at the stars. She observed them for a moment, and then jolted when someone tapped her shoulder.
"Yes?" she spun on her heel, expecting a stranger, and gasping when she recognized the man before her. The one man she was hoping to avoid during the festival.
He wasn't as tall as she remembered, but she was younger the last time she spoke with him. He seemed to have barely aged a day, then again, he was a rather young Lord when she first met him. His blonde hair and blue eyes were not easily mistaken, along with his casual smile. He seemed amused at her reaction, and she gulped as he observed her. Especially fearful when he stepped close enough to speak in a hushed tone.
"Lady Titania, it's surprising to see you here." he gave a courteous nod of his head, and she trembled.
"Lord Smith..." she breathed, her body dissolving into a shivering mess as she fought to stay composed. He took her hand and kissed it, as was the customary greeting between lords and ladies.
"Zoë Titania, heiress to the Titania estate and supposedly 'kidnapped' three months ago..." he said, turning to face the crowd in a show of normalcy. "And here I find you, nearly a month's ride away from home, celebrating the local festival."
Her body quivered, and her wine sloshed in the cup from how violently she was shaking. "I-Lord Erwin...I don't-" she stuttered.
"Calm yourself, Zoë." Erwin turned to her with an assuring smile, "I won't be informing your father if you do not wish it."
Hanji blinked at him as she absorbed those words, and then she sagged, sitting down upon the bench with a soft gasp, "You recognized me." she murmured.
Erwin chuckled, sitting beside her and crossing one leg over the other, "Your nose gives you away, and so does your height...but most of all it's your demeanor. You really haven't changed all that much, Titania."
"Don't call me that. Please." she whispered sharply, "Not here. Here I am no one, I can't have that change. These people cannot know who I am." she pleaded.
"What else shall I call you but your name?" Erwin shrugged.
"It's Hanji. Hanji or nothing at all." she said.
"Is that so?" he sipped at the cup of wine he had been holding, "Tell me then, Hanji...why are you here?"
She turned her head and bit her lip, "I wasn't kidnapped, as if I could be so lucky." she scoffed, "I ran away." she said, her tone implying that she would offer no further explanation. "I would like it to stay that way."
"You ran away." Erwin nodded, "Because of your engagement to Lord Berner's son?"
"Lord Berner?!" she exclaimed, and then leaned close to whisper, "Cedric Berner's son?"
"You did not know your intended?" Erwin asked in surprise.
Hanji crossed her arms, "Of course not. I don't know if you knew my father as well as I, but he only ever told me the bare minimum. He simply informed me in the least insulting of ways that he was selling me like cattle for more wealth and power." she grit her teeth, begrudged.
"I see." Erwin sat back and considered her. "And would knowing who you were marrying have changed your decision?" he asked.
She scoffed, "No. I'd have left either way." she said.
"Hmm. And how did you get all the way out here, in Servia?"
"I ran into some people who live here." she said, looking down at her hands, "After I fell off my horse and broke my arm like an idiot." she chuckled mirthlessly.
"The Ackermans." Erwin said.
Hanji glanced at him, "How did you know?"
"They're the only people who would be so far out of town, my dear Zoë."
"Hanji!" she corrected in a hiss.
"Force of habit, child." he waved away her correction with a dismissive hand. She only glowered at him, and he sighed, "I suppose I'll leave you to the festival, I fear I'll insult you further if I stay." he stood and bowed. "Rest assured your father will learn nothing of your whereabouts unless you wish it." he said.
"Please don't tell anyone." Hanji pleaded before he turned away, though he paused to look at her, he did not answer, and her heart dropped down to her stomach.
Levi observed their interaction with interest. He'd never seen Hanji behave like she had, she seemed terrified. Perhaps it was meeting a lord that had her so pale, but he couldn't be certain. He watched as Lord Smith left her and made directly for him.
"Lovely girl." the older man said as he stepped beside him.
Levi glanced at him in curiosity, "What did you speak of?" he asked.
"Just introductions, Levi. Don't worry yourself." Erwin said.
Levi hummed, not quite believing the man, but it wasn't his place to question a lord. That's not to say he wouldn't question him later.
"You should offer her a dance, she seems lonely." Erwin observed, turning and making for the quieter side of the festival.
Levi shrugged, "Okay?" he said all too late, as the man was already gone. "Cryptic as always." he sighed as he made his way to Hanji. She jolted and gasped under his touch when he hugged her from behind, and he shushed her with a kiss to her shoulder, "Jittery tonight, aren't you?" he murmured.
"Levi." she said, voice recovering from the slight quiver he had heard.
"Want to dance?" he asked, spinning her in his grasp and giving her a small smile as he bumped noses with her. She blushed and nodded, accepting his kiss with a giggle.
"Yes. I'd like that." she said, taking his offered hand and following him onto the platform.
"Do you know this dance?" he asked, positioning his arms accordingly as she did with him.
"No." she admitted, biting her lip.
"Me neither." he said.
She barked a laugh, glancing over each shoulder to see if anyone had noticed her outburst. "I suppose we'll improvise, then."
"I suppose so." he leaned in close again and she pressed her forehead to his as they swayed. Not in tune with the music, it was too jovial for either of them in any case. A strange thought, her not being jovial. She seemed distressed, less happy than she was that morning, despite her smiles. If she were her usual self she would be forcing him to dance along with the music. Not that he would have minded. He would have preferred it to the solemn girl he had in his arms.
"Are you alright, Hanji?" he brought a hand up to stroke a curled strand of hair from her face.
She looked at him and nodded, though her movements were hesitant. "Yes."
"Remember what we said about lying?" he pressed her closer and stopped moving.
She nodded, "No bullshit." she said.
"That's right." he kissed her again, firmly and only just languid enough to have her searching for another when he pulled back. "So what's wrong?"
"Can I tell you when we get home?" she asked in a small voice, "I don't want to speak of it here."
He nodded, "As long as you tell me." he let her hug him, grunting when she squeezed him a little too tightly. "And don't crush me." he added, laughing as she loosened her hold and pulled back, flustered.
"I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed quietly.
"You should be more careful. I'm delicate." he said, smirking when she paused and stared at him, and then she burst into raucous laughter that had him dragging her away from the dancing before she collapsed.
He could listen to that laughter for hours, it was so beautiful and wholesome. He loved it.
"Delicate?" she wheezed, accepting the wine he offered to her with another small fit of giggling.
"Calm down, you." he huffed, standing and looking around casually.
"Thanks for dancing with me." she sighed, leaning back against the table.
"We barely danced at all."
"It was still nice." she said.
Levi nodded and glanced around once more, his gaze landing on Lord Smith, who beckoned him over as soon as their eyes met. He tilted his head in consideration, and then looked down at Hanji, "Stay here, I'll be back." he said as he left.
"Alright." she said.
Levi approached Erwin with a respectful nod, "Did you need something, Lord-"
"You're a bloody idiot."
Levi furrowed his brow, startled at the way he had been addressed. "What?" he leaned closer to whisper.
"And here I always thought you were an intelligent person." Erwin said, "Her of all people." he added quietly, as if speaking to himself.
"My Lord, I'm not certain I understand what you mean." Levi said in growing irritation.
"Did you not recognize her in the slightest?"
"Recognize...Hanji? Yes I thought I recognized her when we met. How could you possibly know her?" he asked suspiciously, though at this point he was starting to feel intrigued.
"You stopped by Cedric's estate on the way." Erwin said it as fact, it wasn't a question, but Levi answered it anyway.
"Yes I did."
"Did he tell you nothing of her?" Erwin muttered to himself, "Levi, take a look at her. Take a good look at that young woman and tell me what you see." Erwin pointed at Hanji, who stood with hands clasped before her and her face downcast as she seemed to contemplate something dire. Levi's features softened as he wondered what she was thinking of to look so sullen after he had made her smile and laugh like she did. He didn't realize he was openly admiring her until Erwin sighed. "She's different from the rest of them. Do you not see it?"
"Different?" Levi repeated, considering Hanji again.
"She's elegant, look at her stance, her poise. Look at the way she addresses others and how she holds her wine, even the way she's pinned her hair up." Erwin pointed out.
Levi grew defensive, "What of it, Smith? Why are you so interested in Hanji?"
Erwin scoffed, "Levi, for one, I am not interested in the girl. And secondly, that is not her name."
Levi frowned, his heart rate increasing as he recalled how he had told Farlan the same thing three months ago.
"That woman's name is Lady Zoë Titania, daughter of Lord Gregor Titania. Do you remember the first bounty I sent you on, four years ago?" Erwin explained.
Levi blinked, his gaze entirely fixed on the woman he had allowed himself to become so enthralled with. "Four years ago?" he breathed.
It was all coming back to him now...
He had been traveling for weeks, and upon arriving at the castle he nearly fell off of his horse. Regardless, the eighteen-year-old willed the wobble of his legs away as he entered the hall of Lord Titania. A rather feminine name, in his own, humble opinion. But he wasn't there to give his opinion.
He was received well, and he accepted his first bounty with grace and big words, as Lord Smith had taught him. He was offered a room to stay for the night, as per Smith's suggestion to Titania. And Levi was grateful. He was escorted to the room, and then left to his own devices. In the morning he was on his way to leave the castle, but he had (embarrassingly) become quite lost.
Upon turning a corner he ran into someone, a girl from the sound she made, and he righted her with steady hands against her slim shoulders. He looked at her then, observing her childish features and the lanky body of a girl who was slowly maturing into her height and slight curves. She couldn't have been older than fourteen, and she wasn't.
Her eyes were as dark brown as her hair, and yet highlighted with gold flecks and dark, thick eyelashes. They were truly pretty. Her nose was long and sloped, and yet fit well with her features in a way one wouldn't expect such a nose to. The girl tossed her long, luxurious, brown hair away from her shoulders and gave him a scowl.
"Watch where you're going, boy." she reprimanded, straightening her skirt.
"Boy?" he scoffed, allowing himself a rare smile. "I'm certainly older than you, girl." he said in challenge.
She flushed, be it with rage or embarrassment, he didn't care, she fisted her hands and glared at him. "I'll have you know that I am Lady Titania!"
"And I'm supposed to care?" he crossed his arms in boredom.
"How dare you!" she gaped at him, shocked at having been sassed. She'd likely never experienced a harsh word in her life, privileged and rich as her family was.
"It's only the truth." he said, "Do you want me to lie and grovel at your feet in fear of a title like every other man you meet?" he asked.
She made to respond, but stopped herself, considering his words. He watched in amusement as she tried in vain to come up with a retort, and then she turned away from him in a huff.
"Before you leave," he said before she could walk away, and she paused to look at him over her shoulder. "I'm...well, quite lost. And in need of some directions."
She tilted her head as she turned completely, hands on her slight hips, "It's not that big of a castle."
"That may be true, but it's only the second I've ever been in, my Lady." he said cheekily, and she turned her face with a blush. "I do need to collect my horse before I leave."
She considered him for a moment, and then nodded, "The stables are this way." she strode past him in the opposite direction he had been moving in. He followed her closely, hands clasped behind his back as he watched her walk. She was an elegant girl, though she seemed a little rough around the edges. He considered the fact that he might grow to enjoy the company of someone like her, if he would be around long enough to.
That wasn't going to happen.
He thanked her when he reached the stables, and he held up her hand to kiss the back of it, a motion that seemed to surprise her. "You're a strange boy." she murmured, glancing up at his hair and taking in his features. He assumed she was memorizing his face. He didn't even bother to correct her for calling him a boy when he was a grown man.
"And you're a strange girl." he said as he turned and mounted his mare, patting the black horse on the neck as he directed her toward the road.
"Goodbye." she said with a wave.
He looked back once, watching the girl grow smaller as he rode off.
He saw her again. When he returned from his bounty to collect his reward. They simply greeted one another, and then he was on his way. He only thought of her once or twice in that same year. Afterward forgetting about her.
When he first met Hanji, he thought briefly back to a faint memory of that same nose and those same eyes, but he couldn't quite place it. Now, with the help of Erwin's words and the clarity they brought, everything fell into place.
He stared at Hanji...no...Zoë, her name was Zoë.
"You remember." Erwin said.
Levi nodded, gulping down the lump in his throat as he stared at her. "Why is she here?" he asked.
"Because you brought her here." Erwin supplied.
"No, that's not what I meant. Why did she leave?" Levi asked, gritting his teeth as he turned to Erwin.
"That's a question you'll have to ask her." the man replied.
Levi scoffed and rubbed his temples.
"You love her, don't you?" Erwin said.
Levi dropped his hand and sighed, hanging his head briefly before he looked up at the man beside him.
"It's easy to see. And I do believe she loves you too." Erwin added, placing his hand on Levi's shoulder, "I might not have told you if it weren't the case." he said as he turned away to mingle with the party goers.
Levi walked over to the nearest building and thumped his forehead against the wall. Why, when everything was going so perfectly, did something like this have to come up? Was this what she had been so worried about when she heard of the festival, or rather, of Lord Erwin? He had known she was anxious, he just couldn't decipher why.
And now she turned out to be a Lady. Her picture was in his drawer all this time, and yet he never connected the dots. "Damnit!" he hissed to himself, glancing over his shoulder to see her speaking with his sister. She was good at putting on a poker face, though now he saw straight through it. Just how much of her was a lie? He couldn't have expected this, and if he were honest with himself, he didn't know what to do.
He didn't speak to her for two days after the festival. He himself was as good at masking his emotions as she, better even, but he couldn't do it in this case. Couldn't bring himself to lie to her like she had to him...them. So he kept himself away from her, watching how she hugged herself and sulked when he ignored her or avoided her. He hated doing it to her, but he needed to think, to try to compose himself before he confronted her.
What was he going to say? He didn't even know that. He didn't know how to confront her. But he needed to do so soon, it was physically painful to look at her and see those sad eyes looking back at him. At night he stared at that damned picture for hours before he slept, his old insomnia kicking in with the stress he was putting himself through.
Damn him. Damn Erwin for telling him. He would rather have never known. To have forgotten and simply lived his life in ignorant bliss, with Hanji...Zoë.
"Damnit!" he threw the parchment, covering his face with a sigh as he listened to it flutter to the ground. He couldn't let this go on any longer, he needed to see her, speak to her, get some answers to his questions. He stood and looked outside, realizing just how late it was, and he groaned, knowing she would be deep asleep by now.
He sat on his bed and waited. Waited for the sun to come up, and he found himself waking with sunbeams in his eyes. He had fallen asleep in the night.
Levi stood again, combing his fingers through his hair as he determined the time. He scooped up the worn, crumpled parchment and stuffed it in his pocket. He stepped out of his room and closed the door behind him, spotting Mikasa and Eren and Armin in the kitchen, but no one else.
"Where's Z-Hanji?" he asked, stumbling over his words and mentally cursing himself for it.
The trio looked up at him from the table, and Armin offered a shrug, "I haven't seen her today." he said.
"She's in her room." Mikasa said.
"Thank you." Levi said, pausing before he left, "What about Isabel and Farlan?"
"They're outside, taking care of the horses." Armin said with a chipper smile.
Levi nodded, heading up the stairs and coming to a stop in front of her closed door. He palmed his face and inhaled deeply, staring at the wood of the door for a time, perhaps a few minutes, before he finally opened it.
She was curled up on her bed, awake, and staring at the wall across the room. She seemed startled when he entered, and she sat up with hope evident in her features.
"Zoë." he addressed her.
"Yes?" she said eagerly, and then she blinked, a light gasp escaping her as she realized what he had said.
The confirmation was just as painful as hearing it from Erwin had been, and he sighed as he closed the door behind them, "We need to talk."
A.N.
*cue London Bridge*
"Oh shit...!
Oh shit...!"
Cliffhanger! Sorry y'all. I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger, but next chapter will be out very soon, I think it'll be a rather short chapter too, depends. I'm already working on it so don't worry.
Erwin is cool. Don't be mad at him, he knows what he's doing.
Also, to tease you guys...next chapter is gonna be another doozy
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