Chapter 9 – Is Your Eyeball Okay
Summary: I believe, at this point, you guys know the drill.
Disclaimer: same thing here.
A/N: I tried my best to match this chapter to my old writing style, and I think I've succeeded reasonably well.
Once again, thank you to everyone who encouraged me to continue, especially Tsumikitty, who listened to me every time I whined and got stuck with the story. And for ShuuSmiles, who PM'd me and encouraged me as well. Thank you.
Giotto's face registered shock. Asari, who had sharper ears than most, heard of the whole thing and send him a look of sympathy which was roundly ignored.
"What do you mean, never see you again? Of course I want to see you again! I- you-" the blonde spluttered.
"You want." Tsuna hissed, actually poking him in the chest. "It's always about what you want, even back then. This time, I want you to stay away." Before Giotto could respond, he marched over to Reborn and ignored him.
Once Giotto had slouched over to the other side, Tsuna's back slumped.
"Why so glum? It looked to me like you had finally 'asserted your dominance' over Giotto like you always wanted." Reborn patted him on the head.
"I dunno. I won, but I feel like I've lost."
"Hmm…" Reborn looked at the defeated figure before calling out briskly: "Come on, people, we've got a prison break-out to complete. Let's hustle~"
"That would be a GREAT idea, Reborn." G said, beaming so happily that he looked like he was in pain. "Except for one thing. We're FUCKING LOST."
Reborn swooned dramatically. "I'm heartbroken, G. Surely you don't think I'm as sumb as Cozzato."
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!"
"-I have of course procured a means of successful of escape!" G lifted an eyebrow at this. "We will shortly leap out of this window…."
A collective "WHAT?!" was screamed.
"….and hope that we get a soft landing."
"You can't be serious."
"You're right, I'm not." Reborn agreed. "What I really wanted to suggest is that we search Hibari's and Mukuro's bodies. They're bound to have a set of blueprints or maps on them."
After some scuffling and arguing. Tsuna bravely volunteered to search their bodies, since this was technically a prison guard's job. Asari kindly agreed to partner with Tsuna, so this time the body check went smoothly, although at one point Mukuro grinded himself against Tsuna.
After giving him a good smack, Asari presented the blueprints to Giotto, who looked at them dazedly and passed them to G.
G squinted at the blueprints and began to march forward with the others following behind.
Mukuro sort of fell over and wriggled on the floor like a grub.
"If you're trying to untie yourself, forget it. Reborn was the one that tied you up, after all." Hibari said flatly.
"It's better than sitting there looking useless!" the illusionist snapped. "Sooner or later Iemitsu will try to contact us, and if he finds our we've been subdued…."
Even the skin around Hibari's eyes tightened for a second. Oh gods. Iemitsu's anger was formidable, and when he got a full head of steam he'd lambast anyone who was stupid enough to get in his way.
Hibari grudgingly started chewing on Mukuro's ropes with his set of excellent and unusually sharp set of teeth.
"OW!" seven voices roared in pain as a tangle of human bodies somehow forced its way out of an air-duct.
"That's the last time we follow G's directions." Cozzato groaned. "Little brother, are you okay?"
"I'm dying." came Enma's muffled reply.
"Good." said Cozzato vaguely, who didn't seem to be listening at all. "Um…. Where are we?"
The pile of dirty clothes they had landed on told them it was the laundry room.
G slowly got up and said that down the corridor from the laundry room was the exit.
Enma immediately rolled out of Asari's arms and clattered towards the door.
And was sent flying backwards as the doors burst open.
"CAPTURE THEM!" some extremely generic looking guards roared. They were all very burly and sported tough guy bristles. One of them even had a tattoo of two hearts pierced by an arrow.
"Now, now, this won't do." Asari chided, his clear voice cutting through the confused noise like a sword through water. "Let's all relax…. And calm down." He picked up a pile of clothes and started distributing them one by one. "We can settle this without fighting."
The leader whose hair was highly waxed, started to yell back when he realized Asari had somehow strapped him into a straightjacket without him realizing.
The trapped guards started struggling too, but in vain.
"This is a fine prison." The swordsman said quietly. "Everything is provided for almost every possibility, including straightjackets for out-of-control people."
They roared and stomped, but it was no use. They were tipped over and rolled into a corner, where they formed a grumbling pile of human grubs.
That's that settled." Asari said brightly, and beamed at his friends. Enma just stared open-mouthed at him from the floor.
"I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU STOPPED PRETENDING TO BE AROUSED!"
Mukuro cased to moan sexually and turned around to face the skylark. "But how do you know I'm not aroused~?"
Hibari contemplated biting him just to injured him but rightly concluded that the pineapple head would just waggle his eyebrows and call him kinky. He resumed chewing through the ropes instead.
A cup of cold earl grey tea is definitely not as appealing as a freshly made one.
Nevertheless, one such cup sat in front of Iemitsu as he looked over his sheaf of papers.
"Boss? Your tea is cold." A subordinate spoke up hesitantly.
"I don't even like tea." responded the man, while dialing a well-worn number. "Hello, Hibari? Could you tell my precious baby son that dinner…. Hello?"
"Doo… doo….. doo…." came the reply.
Frowning, he tried again, but since Hibari's phone was switched off at that point, there was no reply. "I wonder what that skylark is up to."
"Maybe he's busy right now."
Hibari spat out a hunk of wet rope directly onto Mukuro's face.
"OW! WHAT THE FUCK!"
"Busy!" Iemitsu snorted, straightening his papers. "Hmmm. I think I'll go over and see how they're doing."
"Oh, by the way, boss, your wife just sent over your lunch."
"Oh! A delicious love-filled bento made by my darling wife! I love you so much, Nana~!"
"Em, boss, your car is waiting…."
"Look at that! She used red rice to make a heart shape! Such artistic skill!"
"Uh…."
Enma lay on the floor of the car, his eyes closed and hands clasped in prayer,
"If I die," he said meaningfully to Cozzato. "I'm going to haunt you for life."
Cozzato, on the other hand, was too busy screaming to care.
"OH MY GOD I'M TOO YOUNG AND SEXY TO DIE!"
Reborn hit yet another speed bump which send them all flying.
"Reborn, don't you think you should slow down?!" Knuckle protested. He had agreed to drive down and pick up the fugitives – a.k.a Giotto and co. – but he had NOT signed up for this.
"SLOWING DOWN IS FOR PUSSIES!" yelled the speed demon.
The priest also started praying for himself and Lampo, who had come along for the ride and found himself abandoned in the trunk. "Nobody wants you," Reborn added before closing the trunk.
Giotto grimly held Tsuna on his lap.
"Let…. Let go." Tsuna hissed, his voice shuddering because of the swaying car and the fact that a huge boner was pressed against his ass.
"No." Giotto replied evenly, purposely grinding harder to get himself even bigger.
The brunet bit his lips to prevent himself from whimpering.
The car went over yet another kerb and tears sprang into his eyes when the hard lump was driven further up into him.
"Hurts…." He gasped.
Mukuro purposely sang in a nasally voice as he climbed into the fake police motorcycle.
"I love being a cop." He sang. "It's my favorite job."
Hibari hit the gas, effectively choking off Mukuro's singing and proceeded to chase Reborn's car.
Lampo lay in a pool of his own vomit. Was he dead? Was he alive? Then they crashed into a fruit stand and his thoughts were immediately occupied by bananas falling into the trunk.
Dino had been tied to the roof of the getaway vehicle. "To test your loyalty to us." Reborn said solemnly even as he tightened the ropes.
I think I must have left my sanity in my other pocket. The blonde thought. Suddenly, bananas and all manners of fruit exploded around him and he fainted.
Reborn continued to careen through the traffic, while casually lobbing a pineapple through the window.
Asari spoke up. "Reborn-san, where exactly is our destination?"
"Well, obviously we have to leave the country. I'm thinking of Switzerland. There's some nice scenery there…."
G was completely used to violent car chases, so he wound down his window and looked for Hibari and Mukuro. Somehow, they had caught up with them. That fake police motorcycle must have been a lot faster than it looked.
Mukuro screamed shrilly as they ran right over a stray pineapple in the road.
"You fiend!" he kept saying. "You terrible fiend! You just killed a precious life!"
"I'm about to kill a few more." The skylark muttered as he saw several more pineapples that Reborn had tossed into the road. He stopped to think about Mukuro tightly and lovingly clinging onto him on the bike and how gay they must look, and relieved his feelings at that by squashing a few more pineapples.
G leaned back in his seat. "How are we going to lose those two?" he inquired. Reborn didn't reply for a while, but then he pressed a button that was conveniently labelled 'MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE'.
"Don't." G said warningly.
"NOT WHEN I SHIFT INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!" Reborn howled, revealing himself to be the memer he was. The car seemed to crouch like a leopard before springing up, literally springing up – G could have sworn they were 2 feet in the air – and speeding away.
"Why." Hibari said, as he watched the car practically jackknife through the air.
"You're reporting to Iemitsu about this."
"No."
Something in Hibari's tone made even Mukuro falter. He took out his phone and dialed his boss.
"Mukuro? That you?" Iemitsu's muffled voice answered a few seconds later. He swallowed his last mouthful of red rice before speaking again. "What's the situation over there?"
"We…." The most painless surgery is often the quickest one. Thought Mukuro, so he blurted out: "We lost Giotto Taru and his friends. Your son and Reborn helped them escape the prison."
There was silence on the other end. When Iemitsu started talking again, his voice was as harsh as steel.
"That little… as of now, Reborn and even my son are the ene mies. Do not let any of them escape. Kill them if you must."
"….yes, sir."
"Is your eyeball okay?" Asari said apologetically as his feet knocked into Enma's face again.
Enma did not blush. He had fainted too.
To Knuckle's utter relief (he was riding shotgun) the airport was slowly coming into sight. "I'll go get your tickets…."
"No need, we're hijacking a plane." Reborn interrupted. "Giotto, G, Asari, you've all done this before, so get ready."
"What about money? Or luggage?"
"I have a Swiss account." The hitman replied smoothly. "Iemitsu can't freeze that one. You and Lampo will just help us stall the pineapple and the bird."
"Hmmm…."
A squeak came from the backseat. An extremely uncomfortable-looking and sweaty Giotto and Tsuna were both panting, more from sexual exertion than anything else.
The brunet's arms were pinned to his sides because of the clamp/koala hug Giotto had him in. He had given up trying to struggle…. At least, for the duration of the car trip….
This didn't stop Tsuna from digging his elbow into Giotto's ribs. This only made Giotto smile.
"Try harder, my dear." He leaned and whispered into Tsuna's ear.
So Tsuna snapped his head back and bashed Giotto's face.
"OW! CUNT-"
"Watch your mouth, Giotto." Reborn said mockingly, his voice imitating a fussy mother's. "Incidentally, I was the one who taught him that."
"You're supposed to be on MY side!"
Reborn shrugged and spun the wheel. The others, who were conspicuously ignoring the lovebirds also rolled their eyes. "Anyway, I think you should change out of your prison uniforms. Otherwise, you'll attract unwanted attention at the airport. I packed some clothes…." Knuckle rotated his head as best as he could to the back.
"Hmm, we've got a man in a bright blue jumpsuit tied to the roof. I think we've pretty much wrecked 'not attracting unwanted attention'." Reborn stroked his non-existent beard thoughtfully.
"REBORN, THAT WAS YOUR FAULT!"
The hitman continued on as though nothing was wrong. "We'll have to change in the car, then some of you will have to help the others change, since there's so little space in here."
Immediately a scuffle broke out between the 'lovebirds'. As Reborn pulled up to a quieter corner of the airport carpark, Knuckle got out, retrieved Lampo and some laundry bags from the trunk and distributed the clothes.
Giotto succeeded in forcing a pale pink sweatshirt over Tsuna's head – and of course casually groping him in the process – Dino, on the other hand, roundly refused the frilly apron that was handed to him ("Why did you even pack that?!" "They are donations from the people in my church! Do not complain, ungrateful one!") and in the end Enma was forced to wear it.
"Hmm? Knuckle-san, Lampo-san, why are you two going to change?" asked Asari.
Lampo pulled a mustache over his sickly green face.
"Blaaaarghhhhh." Came the eloquent reply, as he retched on the floor.
Iemitsu looked at the wreck that was Vongola Prison.
"….do you know how much this is going to cost to fix?' he muttered to no-one in particular. "And I promised my darling Nana I would take her to Spain next month!"
"Uh, boss…."
"Hmmm?"
"What about the young master?"
"Oh, he's been a bad boy, so a couple of broken limbs on him won't be a problem. Besides, he's like me, he heals fast! Wahahahaha!" Iemitsu said cheerfully.
"….."
A whirl of humanity was what met Mukuro and Hibari when they finally arrived at the airport.
Lampo and Knuckle danced and leaped around them, fully clad in Mario and Luigi cosplay. Every time Hibari or Mukuro tried to move, a plumber would block their way.
"Hey…."
"What's… going on?"
"Some special event?"
The whispers from the crowd intensified in volume as it drew nearer to the duo, effectively blocking off all exits for them.
Knuckle paused to adjust his fake mustache before dancing on, purposely bumping into the bird and the pineapple and 'accidentally' punching them.
Mukuro snarled a little, looking this way and that, but Giotto and co. were already disappearing from his sight.
"What a great way to stall them." Cozzato laughed even as he hustled his brother along.
G grunted, looking sharply around for Flight R-2700C, which was the plane they were planning to sneak onto.
"We're going first-class." He announced, throwing his shoulders back and striding briskly to a flight attendant.
"Miss, could you possibly let us on this flight? We've lost our tickets, but if you would just close an eye…"
The poor attendant began to protest, but G's words were like silk and honey – which was rather at odds with his dirty laundry odor. In fact, he was so smooth it was clearly fake. He led the attendant away into the private area for employees on the jumbo jet, leaving the way clear for his friends.
"Where's…. where's he taking her?" Tsuna finally spoke, having recovered from being half smothered by a sweatshirt.
"To persuade her and then seal the deal with his body, of course." Giotto was the one that finally replied.
"That's disgusting." said the brunet, his revulsion directed at Giotto as much as g.
Giotto saluted mockingly. "Be a good boy, work hard at a decent job, and you'll be happy." He piped. "We wish that was true for us. For me, G, Lampo, all of us…"
"Huh?"
The blonde just walked away. "All of us are a worthless bunch. This is the only thing we're good at…. The only thing we have that's of worth and can be used to protect people." And with that parting shot, he walked right into the first-class area.
A/N: After looking through the old chapters, I realized there's a lot of internal monologuing from Tsuna. But since this chapter focuses more on their escape from the prison, I took that away. Next chapter will probably see a return of his monologues.
As usual, FF took away my page breaks. I forgot how aggravating this site was.