Olivia was only vaguely aware of the men talking around her. Her sole focus was on the contents in the manila envelope sitting on her coffee table as Elliot, Cragen, and Tucker exchanged words. Every once in a while some of what was said would slip through her haze and she would catch words like; email, print out, and more.

For a moment she stole herself against everything else around her and retreated back into herself where there was no torment, no humiliation, no degradation, just a quite place in the back of her mind where she didn't have to look at anyone or face anything; she could just lay still.

"Liv?"

A voice.

"Olivia?"

Another.

"Liv!"

"What?" She mumbled, coming out of her daze. "What is it?"

Elliot looked at her, confused and a little worried. "Liv, you all right?"

Her eyes wandered to the faces in the room; each a mixture of confusion and concern. She knew she was supposed to speak but her mouth was dry and her head was still clouded by the fog she had created for herself.

The fear struck her instantly; she had just dissociated. It wasn't all that uncommon, especially for victims of rape but she had never remembered being so scared in her life than she was then at the thought of herself finally breaking. She couldn't break. She couldn't give White the satisfaction; she just couldn't

"Olivia you look pale." Said Cragen. "Why don't you get some rest. We can talk about this in the morning."

And there it was. They had already sensed the crack in her psyche. She was breaking. White was winning. "No." She said, finally finding her voice. "I'm okay. Lets talk now."

Cragen looked at Elliot, who stared blankly back at him. Neither knew what to say or do. They recognized the signs Olivia was displaying. They had seen it in countless victims but neither of the men knew exactly how fragile she was at that moment and, through experience, they knew if they pushed her too hard she might break.

"Detective Benson." Tuckers voice was soft as he called to her. "I think you need to evaluated by our psychiatrist before returning back to work."

Olivia turned towards Cragen who nodded in agreement. She shook her head, not at them but at the situation. She had been seeking counseling in the months following her rape and she was finally cleared to return back to work not two days ago but then . . .

It was almost as if White had waited just long enough to give her the slightest taste of normality before snatching it away from her once again; like planned it. He probably had.

And there it was again; the bile in her throat. Before she even felt herself move off the couch she was on her knees heaving on the bathroom floor.

Tucker and Cragen waited in the living room as Elliot tended to her.

"I told you she wasn't ready to come back." Said Tucker harshly. "Are you happy with this? Was it worth putting her through more?"

"Hold on a second!" Demanded Cragen. "Now, neither of us knew this was going to happen. We hadn't even known he was following her until this evening. How were any of us supposed to see this coming?"

"You knew", Tucker scolded, "you knew he was stalking her before all this. Twelve years ago, you knew. Her stuff was in his apartment from when he broke in, he shared a cell with the man who raped her, he left a body for you to find; how the hell didn't you see this coming?"

Cragen was fuming, but he was right. "If you've got a point to make then make it."

Tucker sighed. "My point", he began, "is that Detective Benson is longer fit to work for law enforcement. You don't have to have seen PTSD to know that something is wrong with her. She shouldn't be carrying a gun and she shouldn't be working so close to the people who are trying to find her abuser."

"I'm not pulling my detective." Cragen said sternly. "I will admit she needs more counseling but I am not taking her job away from her."

"Your too close to this, Don." Said Tucker as he began exiting the room. "Figure this out, or I'll call IAB and have them do it for you."

He shut the door just as Elliot was walking back in. "Where did Tucker go?" He asked.

"Its not important." Said Cragen, not wanting Elliot to worry. "How's Olivia?"

Elliot shrugged. "Who knows. I think she just ate something; maybe the flu."

Cragen grabbed the envelope off the table and saw Elliot flinch at the thought of what was about to happen to them. "I'm sorry, Elliot." Said Cragen. "But they're evidence. You know how this goes."

"Yeah", he began, "So does Olivia." His tone took a serious drop as he grounded out his next pitiful words. "So does White."

"Elliot", began Cragen, "I want Olivia to talk to Haung first thing in the morning. Make sure her evaluation is on record and have Haung send a copy of her status to IAB."

Elliot looked at Cragen as his words sunk in. He wanted to fight, knowing she wouldn't be cleared but he understood what his captain was doing. There had to be some proof that she was seeking help. He knew Tucker was going to IAB. As painful as this would be for Olivia, Elliot knew, that Cragen was only protecting her from losing the last thing she had of herself.

"Good night Elliot." Said Cragen as he turned to leave.

Elliot nodded. "Good night."

Location- Office of George Haung

"Good morning, Olivia." Said Haung as Olivia sat down on the brown leather couch in his office.

"Wow", she began, "The department really shelled it out for this place. We don't even get hot water in the showers."

Haung smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Olivia shook her head, knowing where this was going and not wanting to beat around the bush. "Did you get a copy of the pictures?"

"No", said Haung, "Its my understanding that they were only delivered to your coworkers and higher ups."

"Right", she said sarcastically, "So just the people I see everyday."

Huang nodded. "So why do you think that is?"

Olivia got up and started pacing. Haung noted the quickness in her strides and the protective way she crossed her arms over her body.

"White tortured all of his victims." She began. "This is his way of torturing me."

"What makes you say that?"

Olivia stopped and stared out the window of the 12th story office and into the overlook of the city. "Because he knows." She whispered. "He knows that I care; that I have spent so much of my life trying to prove myself to these people. He's trying to take that away from me. He wants me to never want to face them again. I know, because its working."

Huang nodded and took in her appearance. As a psychiatrist, Haung was trained to note and analyze every detail of a person in order to diagnose and treat them. He saw her clammy forehead, her swaying knees, and her dilated eyes.

"Olivia", he began, "would you like to sit down? You look a little sick."

Olivia nodded, feeling her stomach riot against her. "I've been like this for a while." She said. "Its gotten worse the past few days."

"Are you alright?" He asked. "Can I get you some water?"

Olivia shook her head. "No", she said softly, "no, I haven't been able to keep anything down. I haven't-" Her lip began to tremble as the shame of what she was about to say took over. "Last night I- when I saw the pictures, I felt myself . . . detach, like, like it wasn't even happening to me. All this stress, its, its taken a physical toll."

Huang nodded. "It could be." He began, remembering his early years in medical school and comparing Olivia's symptoms to the illness he suspected. "But it could also be something else."

Olivia lifted her head, having not realized she was crying into her palms and raised an eyebrow at Huang's words. "What do you mean?"

"Olivia you are usually very reluctant to talk to me. Now I am not saying that your sudden change is openness is bad and I am not saying that you shouldn't seek help; I'm simply asking if you can thing of any other sudden behavioral changes?"

Olivia scoffed. "Quite a few." She bit back. "Being-" she stopped and considered her next words, "Going what I went through will do that to you."

Huang nodded. "That's true", he began, "but is there anything in particular that stands out?"

"Where are you going with this?" She asked bitterly.

Huang remained quiet and let her cool before he continued. "Olivia, look at all you've said in this session. You were light-hearted walking through the door, paranoid and questioning when you sat down, and now you are angry because I am asking you questions that seconds ago you were willing to answer."

Olivia shrugged. "I guess I have been a little moody lately."

"Good", he began, "Is there anything else?"

"I can't sleep, but isn't that to be expected?"

Huang nodded. "It is."

"So?" Olivia could feel herself getting frustrated. Fucking shrinks always had to drag everything out.

"You said that the stress has taken a physical toll. What do you mean?"

Olivia stared at the ground, too anxious to look him in the eye. "My back hurts, my muscles have been cramping and I can't go more than an hour without getting sick."

"Is there anything else?"

Olivia blushed as she continued to stare at the floor. She knew Huang had seen it and she knew despite her best efforts she would not be able to hide what was running through her mind. She thought back to the other night on the couch and sensual mornings with Elliot; remembering the physical desires her body had been displaying in the past two months. Since her attack she had been struggling with her sexuality but for the past month her body was just screaming to be touched. She blushed again.

"What is it, Olivia?"

She shook her head. "I can't say, its, its took personal."

"Isn't that why you are here", he pried, "to get help with your personal issues?"

"Yes, but not about this."

Olivia could feel Huang's eyes staring right through her, reading her. "Is it something sexual?" Olivia nodded, know she couldn't lie to someone who was trained to catch it. "Tell me about it."

Olivia bit her lip nervously. "Well", she began, "For a little over a month now, I've just . . . I've been feeling. . . "

"Aroused?" He asked when she couldn't finish.

Olivia nodded, clearly mortified. "More than usual. Now what does that have to do with anything?"

Huang chuckled. "Olivia I don't think your sick."

Again, she raised her eyebrow. "You don't?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't and I don't think its stress either. Olivia, you say you're tired, you're back hurts, you've been throwing up, and you have an increase in sexual appetite. Olivia, I don't think your sick; I think your pregnant."

So, just in case some people don't know; Psychiatrists have to go through four years of medical school and intern in hospitals so Huang can diagnose a pregnancy. (brother said I sure include that bit of info) That being said . . . Is she? Let me know. The story is heading into a pretty dramatic turn but pregnancy may change the way I do things. Want a spoiler? It involves White, some handcuffs, and a certain and possibly pregnant woman. (lol I know, vague)

Review!