She entered an empty Grey Area with the lights dimmed, a signal that she had come in rather late. Jexa renewed her emotion block in order to stay calm before moving on to Zexion's room. No one stood in the halls reviewing their work for the next day or chatting with another member, which made the castle much more quiet and empty than it already seemed. Some part deep within her didn't like the eeriness, but she ignored it. Whatever didn't contribute to her cause needed to be ignored.
Idiot, came a harsh, grumbled comment. Jexa stopped and leaned of the balcony that separated Naught's Skyway from empty air.
You've never talked to me outside the Dark before. It's giving me a-
Head hurts, yes, Cirix snapped. Now get rid stupidness. Not helping stuff there for reason. See it later.
Jexa shook her head. If it doesn't help now, then it won't help me later. Now go away.
Cirix howled. His voice became higher, clearer, and more child-like. Jexa, you're such an idiot! Why can't you understand?
"Wow, that was actually two complete sentences. I'm impressed," she said brightly as his presence left her mind. Cirix's voice normalized when he whimpered.
A Dusk stood guard outside the member's quarters, ready to attack whoever intruded. She waved it off alert when she neared it, but it wouldn't let her pass.
"Is there a reason why I'm not allowed in?" she asked, exasperated.
Saix wants to know your whereabouts for the last few hours, it told her mentally.
"If only Cirix was as intelligent as you," she muttered under her breath. Louder, she said, "Castle Oblivion."
He wants to know the reason as well.
"I wanted to see Namine. We had talked earlier and I wanted to know how things had turned out for her. It's been what I've been doing for the past few days after missions. Can I go to bed now?"
Saix would like to know why as well.
She rolled her eyes. "Nosy, isn't he? I told her I wanted to talk to her after I left to go back to the castle for a bit, but I never found a chance to talk. I wanted to know how things turned out for her."
Why did you feel the need to do this?
"What are you, a psychiatrist?" she snapped. "Tell Saix it's late and I'm going to bed." Jexa pushed past the silvery creature and walked into the members' quarters. She pulled the key out of her pocket and rubbed her thumb over it. Which door it opened was the problem. Most of the rooms' occupants she knew, but as for the others, she had no clue. Four of them, Marluxia's, Larxene's, Vexen's, and Lexaeus' rooms, were empty since the members were deceased, but two of them held Saix and Xemnas, two Nobodies she didn't want to see even in the daytime hours, in one slept Xigbar, who would be no fun to wake up because of his Arrowguns, and in the last two resided Roxas and Xion, who would be flat out annoying. Only one had Zexion's stuff. Jexa shrugged off her concern and started down the hallway. The first room she knew was Xaldin's and the next belonged to Luxord, but on the other side of the hallway was one she never entered.
"If it's not locked, it's not it," she muttered quietly, reassuring herself. Nevertheless, even though the door opened, she peered inside to see who stayed in there. Her breath caught, despite Nothing's gift. Xemnas sat in front of his desk, jotting notes down in an open book.
Never again, never again will I open the door, she swore. Just as she almost had to door closed, he waved her inside.
"I can sense you standing there," he said, his voice as deep and commanding as ever. "What do you need at such a late hour?"
She opened the door wider so he could see her if he looked back, though every cell in her body screamed at her to leave. "I was looking for someone else. Sorry to disturb you Superior."
"Why don't you have a seat?" He began writing in his book again, oblivious to Jexa's reluctance. In order not to offend him, she sat down on the end of the bed, tensed, as if there would be a fight at any moment.
"Is there something you need, Superior?" she asked, trying to sound formal.
He capped his pen and closed the book, fixing his golden eyes on Jexa. Up close she could see they had an odd, cold warmth to them, like the sun on a winter day, something that was there but would never become attainable. "Would you mind telling me who's room you were searching for?"
"Zexion's," she answered truthfully. "I found the key to his room when I was searching for Namine."
"Oh? And what sparked this sudden interest?"
She shrugged, feeling like a small child being chided for something done slightly wrong. "I told her I wanted to talk to her after she told Sora what she had done to him. I wanted to know how things ended up."
Xemnas rested his head on his fist, a small smile on his face. "And have you found Namine yet?"
"Not yet Superior."
"A shame." He straightened back up, looking disappointed. "Where exactly did you find the key?"
"On the floor in one of the basement rooms, the one the Organization mainly stayed in. I think Riku mortally injured him and Zexion managed to get back before he died. He had expressed interest in Riku before. I don't know how the key ended up on the floor."
Xemnas nodded. "Very well. You may leave." Jexa had to exert a large amount of self-control to not jump up from where she was sitting and dash out the door. "But before you do, I would like to ask you a question."
She groaned internally. "Yes Superior?"
He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it and shook his head. "Never mind. Now is not the time to ask, nor would you have the answer. Good night, number Fourteen."
"Yes, good night Superior."
"Zexion's room is three doors down from mine," he added as she was almost out of the room.
She gave him a small smile. "Thank you Superior. That'll save me a lot of trouble."
Xemnas turned his back on her, giving no sign he heard. She exited his room and walked down to Zexion's, rattling the doorknob just to make sure it had to be unlocked. She slipped the key into the lock quietly as to not disturb anyone, unlocked the door, and walked in. Books sat in neat rows in bookshelves arranged for maximum space in the small area. There was barely enough space for the desk, bed, and closet to be seen. Jexa had to squeeze between bookcases just to reach the other side of the room.
"Wha'dya doing here?" someone said groggily. Jexa kept her attention on the contents of the closet instead of the intruder, so she had no idea who it was.
"I'm looking for any signs that say Zexion was a traitor," she replied smoothly. Zexion had a whole pile of junk in front of his clothes she needed to clear away before she could reach anything. She would never have guessed that someone as tightly wound as Zexion would have as much stuff so disorganized.
"Can't you go to bed? I'm tired," he whined. Now she had heard enough from the person to know it was Demyx.
"As soon as I finish this, I'll go, okay?" She could almost touch it and did not intend to quit.
"Um, sure, but why are you doing that?"
"I'm trying to get something out of the closet," she growled. "Give me two blasted minutes Demyx and I'll-"
"That's a wall."
Jexa stopped reaching and backed up. It made sense that the closet would be an illusion to keep others out of it since it was Zexion's room. She still had to find the actual closet, though. Demyx didn't have any doubts about how to find the hidden door. He started at the bed, then placed both hands on the wall and started putting on over the other horizontally until he hit twenty-one.
"It's right there," he said sleepily. Jexa stared skeptically at the spot before she checked for a doorknob.
"There's nothing there," she said.
Demyx yawned and slid his fingers into thin air, what must have seemed to be a handle to him, and made an opening motion. "See, there's his cloaks and his disguise and the things he con- confin- took from people when they did something wrong." He frowned. "I don't like big words. Night."
"Night," she said, shoving him out the door. He only groaned as he hit the floor after one final push, too sleepy to care.
"There's nothing there," she decided after probing the section of wall Demyx had indicated the closet was built and hidden in. "But if not there, and not there, then where?" There really wasn't anything she could do, so she left Zexion's room, locked the door behind her, and went to bed. He would have to wait another day for his disguise and risk Saix's ridicule when, if ever, he returned.
Again, she opened her eyes to find herself in the Dark with Nothing on the other side of the room confined by tendrils of darkness, but this time Cirix was curled up in a ball asleep by her feet. He looked so peaceful, a change from his continually agitated state.
Just once, she thought. I'll stay here with him just once. He always means well, but he's confused. I can show some kindness. Jexa lay down next to him and placed a hand on his back before falling into a dreamless sleep. Cirix rumbled contently while Nothing frowned. To both, it was a turning point in their fight for Jexa's loyalty.
The next morning could be classified as a drag without the power spike she received the previous day. Even so, she was able to pull herself out of bed before Axel had time to fry her room. She cast him a poisonous glare as she left, but he returned it with a cheery smile, making her nervous. If he had something in mind, she didn't want to be within a hundred yards of him. Halfway to the Grey Area she realized she was upset with Axel and not being 'blank', what she called being emotionless.
Cirix, she called, trying to be as calm as possible. Why I am being emotional?
He chuckled and uncurled from the ball he had been sleeping in. Increased emotions.
So you increased the way I think I feel emotions? That's just great. You realize I don't want this, right?
Yes.
Then take it back.
No.
Cirix, she growled. Take. It. Back. Now!
He yawned and curled back up into a ball. No. You'll need it, be thanking me later. I'm sleeping now, have long day ahead.
Oh no you don't. You're talking to me and explaining why you gave this to me.
Don't know command,
Cir-ix! she yelled, but he was out like a light. Jexa sighed and tried to stay neutral. Whatever Cirix had done would take a lot of effort to subdue.
Both Saix and Xion stood in the Grey Area waiting for her. Xion wouldn't look up from the floor, a fact that made Jexa curious, but she decided it would be better to leave the subject alone in case the answer set her off. Besides, whatever the issue, it was none of her business. Saix handed her a card with the day's instructions on it, then left.
"Very hospitable today," she grumbled as she read the card.
Jexa,
Today you will be partnered with Xion due to the fact Roxas has to take care of a major Heartless and Axel has to explain where he disappeared to during the mission at Castle Oblivion. You must:
-Help her collect hearts by finding emblem Heartless and eliminating Purebloods.
-Make sure she functions correctly.
-Report back to the castle immediately after you finish your mission.
Saix
She stared at the last requirement for several moments before crumbling up the piece of paper. What had she done to deserve this punishment? Staying out a little too late didn't seem like such a crime, nor had anyone ever told her to come back by a certain time. Already Saix had pushed her buttons with a simple look, one that said just how much he thought of dual missions. Like she enjoyed them either.
"Let's go before I blow it," she said, using all her self-control not to run after Saix and demand an explanation. Nothing's gift wasn't having any effect with Cirix's meddling in place. Jexa opened a portal and walked through, finding herself in Wonderland. "Can you work here?" she asked.
"Yes," Xion said solemnly. "But it would take awhile. I went here a few days ago."
"Is there somewhere else you would prefer?"
"Um, I guess there're always Heartless in Twilight Town."
Jexa rolled her eyes. "It's always Twilight Town." She opened a new portal and led her comrade through out to the Old Mansion. For a moment she thought they were in a different world, but then she remembered when Vexen had lured Sora to the same place they were standing on. The memory made Axel's treachery even more astounding, as she had forgotten he had killed Vexen along with attempting to kill Zexion. She looked over at Xion, who was staring at the uppermost left-hand window, just like Sora had done. She waited for a few moments to see if she could fall into the dream-like state she experienced when she watched Sora, but when nothing happened, she decided to stop wasting time.
"Xion," she said softly, jolting her out of her trance. "You okay?"
She nodded quickly, though her eyes said 'no'. "Yeah, sure. Let's get on with this." As they walked towards the woods, she gave the mansion on final parting glance to see if there really was a girl who looked just like her standing in front of the curtains or if it was just her imagination. Jexa didn't seem to see her. She didn't dare ask in case it was just another of her daydreams, but they were usually about the boy with spikey hair. Still, better to be safe than sorry.
Jexa slashed through the Shadows that kept appearing on the trails in the woods. The gloom and the constant fight with the Heartless brought up the memory of her battle she lost with the Neoshadows her last night in New York, making her even more aggravated. By now she didn't much care about how she was letting Cirix mess with her; she just wanted the day to be over. No emblem Heartless even showed until they reached the plaza and the Purebloods kept coming still. She stomped on one to let some anger out, but the Possessor clung to her foot and she had to scrape it off. She muttered some insults at Heartless in general and kept walking. This day couldn't get any worse.
"I'll get those, you take care of these," Jexa ordered. Xion avoided her gaze and gave no sign of understanding. "Just get the job done so we can go home. We'll clear out this area, maybe one more if you want to make Saix happy, and go home. Sound fair?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Good." Jexa ran towards the Purebloods, mostly Possessors and Mega-Shadows, carving through them effortlessly. More appeared to take their place, but she expected it. In five or ten minutes she could-
Paaahh.
Jexa's sword dropped with a clang as she whipped around to see what had made the strange noise. One of the many buildings was in her way, blocking her view of Xion's battle. It sounded like the magic cast by a Red Nocturne, but the Heartless Xion went after were Minute Bombs. They exploded, but they couldn't shoot fire out of their heads like the Nocturnes. She picked her sword back up and dodged a lunge from a Possessor, dismissing the oddness. Xion could have run into a Nocturne-
Paaahh paaahh paaahh!
-But not so many at once. Then again, she herself had stumbled into a horde of them once in Times Square. She kept destroying the Purebloods, chasing after a different group when she finished. It would be a bit before she would admit it, but the constant fighting was wearing her down.
I'm not going to lose again, not going to lose, I will not lose, she repeated to herself. Who fell to simple little Heartless like the Possessors she was facing? If she even obtained a simple scratch, no one would ever let her-
Chiiikk.
"Xion, are you doing okay?" she called. Either she was facing Red Nocturnes and Blue Rhapsody, not a good combination to fight because of the elemental difference, or she was using magic, in which case she wouldn't be collecting hearts. The latter seemed so foolish Jexa refused to consider it for even a moment.
"Yes, I'm fine," came the reply, a little too quickly for Jexa's liking. She had heard children who were fighting Heartless for the first time yell back like that, somewhat defiant and panicked. What did Xion have to worry about? It was in her mission to make sure she functioned properly, whatever that meant, but defeating the Purebloods took priority over playing babysitter. Xion was a big girl. She could take care of herself.
Only taking out the Purebloods became more of an nuisance than having to ask Xion if she was doing alright every few times she heard magic being cast. Some Minute Bombs snuck in with the Mega-Shadows and flung themselves at Jexa in little twirling spirals. Even if she only blocked them they would explode, nearly setting her clothes on fire each time. By the time she and Xion had met up near the exit of the Tram Common she had just about run out of patience.
"Go around and take of the Heartless," Jexa sighed, massaging her temples with her free hand. "I'll go on ahead and take care of whatever needs to be taken care of."
Xion nodded and started off towards the Heartless that hadn't disappeared since Jexa left them alone. Jexa watched her go. She seemed to be on edge all the time and trying to keep a low profile, not exactly how she had been acting when they had first met. However, if she pressed the issue, then more time would be taken up and she would have to suffer with the stronger, fake emotions, which she didn't understand in the least, for a longer amount of time. Maybe Nothing would have a cure for them once and for all. In the mean time, she had to dispatch the stupid, blasted Heartless and make sure Xion functioned.
"What does that even mean, make sure she functions?" she growled as she killed another Heartless, putting more force behind the blow than she had to in order to destroy the thing quicker. "It isn't like she's about to fall into little pieces anytime soon. Saix is just an idiot, and I'm getting all upset again!" She breathed in deeply through her nose and kept on going, reflexively stabbing through the Heartless instead of thinking through each move. Just a bit longer and she could go home.
Xion caught up to her a few minutes after she finished off the Purebloods in the one section, out of breath and swaying on her feet. Jexa put a hand on her shoulder and eased her to the ground.
"Come on, Xion. If you pass out I'll get reprimanded by Saix. I'm already in trouble for coming in late," she said.
Half a smile made it onto Xion's face. "Yeah, I know. I need a second, then I can go on."
"Hey, take as long as you like, as long as you can function." She rolled her eyes and sat down beside the Keyblade wielder. "I can't believe Saix said that."
"Said what?"
"He asked me to make sure you functioned properly. Here." Jexa handed her the card with her instructions after smoothing it out. "Got a bit mad at the last part," she explained.
"Saix is always a jerk," Xion said, giving it back after several look-overs.
"Tell me about it. Talk about heartless."
Xion laughed. "I know. You know what I've always wanted to do? Just throw something at him and try to hit that big X on his face. That would be fun."
Jexa chuckled and looked at Xion to see most of the color had returned to her face and her breathing had normalized. "C'mon. The X-faced Heartless will kill us if we don't hurry up." She started to get up, but Xion put an arm out in front of her, a worried expression on her face, the same one as before.
"No, let me deal with the Heartless. Thanks for the help, but Saix wanted you to come with me because I passed out a week or two ago and he wanted to make sure it didn't happen again."
Jexa shoved her away. "Little late for that. It's been a week or two, right? You're all better now. Let's go." She hauled the girl up to her feet despite her protests. "There's a whole field of Heartless out in that plaza just waiting for your Keyblade. I'll take out the unimportant ones."
"No, Jexa, that's really not nessecary. You can go do something else while I finish. I do this every day on my own."
Jexa turned around and stared at Xion critically. "You really want me gone that bad?"
"No, it's not that, it's just-"
"Look, I'm not having a very good day, so I want to get this done. Now. Let's go." Jexa stalked off while Xion cringed. This was enough to drive her insane. Any type of Heartless could be lurking past the arch, so any type of help should be welcome. If someone else wanted to risk life and limb for your cause, you let them as long as you knew they were capable. Everything worked smoother that way. She didn't know what Xion had a problem with.
There were very few Purebloods in the area, mainly Shadows, so it would take very little time to take them out. Xion fought behind her, taking out what sounded like more Minute Bombs and Red Nocturnes.
Paaahh paaahh paaahh paaahh paaahh paaahh.
The frequency of the magic being shot off almost melted it into one solid noise. Jexa had no idea how Xion could dodge or block it all, but she seemed to manage. A little help with weakening the Heartless or stopping their attacks couldn't hurt. She dispatched the last Heartless and turned around. Immediately she grew furious, her anger going unchecked. She didn't try to suppress the fake emotion, nor did she have a single thought of how wrong it was to be so mad.
Xion stood in the middle of a circle composed entirely of Minute Bombs, not a single Red Nocturne in sight, shooting off casts of fire so quickly she could be mistaken for Axel. The hearts escaped from the dead Heartless, but faded away too fast to go to Kingdom Hearts. Jexa, who faced Xion's back at the moment, moved silently towards the edge of the circle, then began slashing through the little Heartless as fast as she could. She stayed in Xion's blind spot until the Heartless were exterminated and Xion exhausted. She didn't notice how the Heartless had disappeared too quickly.
"Jexa?" she huffed, out of breath again. "Jexa, where are-?"
"Right here," she said coldly. "Good work defeating those Heartless. How many heart you suppose you freed today?"
Xion spun around, her eyes pleading. "Jexa, how much did you-?"
"Enough," she said just as calmly and coldly. Xion flinched. "Why aren't you using your Keyblade?"
"I- I can't," she mumbled, hanging her head. Jexa nodded thoughtfully.
"I see. Actually, I don't. Either you lied to be in the Organization or someone made a mistake in thinking you were a wielder. Then again, you could have just lost control, or-"
"I'm sorry, I don't remember how," she said, her voice cracking. Jexa froze, eyes wide. "Something was wrong this morning and yesterday I was having trouble and-"
Xion's words were drowned out by her fury. She said 'sorry'. How could she be sorry without a heart? She just spent most of the day pretending to be collecting hearts and the best she could think of to say was 'sorry'? There was no way she could be even remotely sorry. That didn't make sense, unless she wanted to make a mockery of her or didn't care at all. She had lied to her and the best she could think of to say was-
"Sorry!" Jexa screeched. "You're sorry? What is that? An excuse! What? You lied to me this whole time, just when I thought you might be a decent person! No one is, not you or anyone else in this whole Organization!"
"I really didn't mean to," she said quietly.
She crossed her arms in order to keep herself from waving her hands around erratically. That would just look stupid. "Oh sure, you didn't mean to pretend this whole time. You didn't mean to. Of course not!"
"I couldn't tell anyone, I couldn't-"
"You couldn't tell anyone? We were just agreeing on how stupid Saix is a few minutes ago! You could have told me! I can't believe this! I can't believe you!"
Xion shut her eyes tightly, as if she was about to cry, adding fuel to Jexa's fire. "Please, I just-"
I don't care what you have to say Xion!" she screamed. "You, what does Roxas, why does Roxas like you so much? You're the most selfish, ignorant, stupid person I've ever met! I'm-" She stopped mid-rant when a revelation occurred to her. "I'm completely ticked off. I just lost it…"
I was so angry I just yelled at poor Xion so badly I probably scared her into never talking to me again. How could I do that? That was about un-Nobody-like as I could possibly get. How did I go from hating every scrap of emotion to acting like I have a heart? I'm worse than Demyx. What's happening to me! In desperation she shoved Nothing's gift upon herself and Cirix in order to smother Cirix's alteration, but something resisted her attempts. She shoved harder and harder still. The anger still lingered, and those thoughts scared her. Both Cirix and Nothing were yelling at her to stop, their voices jumbled into one confused mess.
It is not designed for-
No no no no, wrong! Don't do! Jexa, you-
Dearest, you must stop before-
Don't, please listen-
Their voices finally became unintelligible as she pressed the cover for emotions down harder. Nothing changed, no difference, only the exact same sense of anger. Logic began to seep into the mix, but her desperation smothered it.
I have to do this, there's no choice! The resistance given by it doubled with each ounce of strength she provided. Xion was calling her name, but she wouldn't respond to her. She couldn't if she wanted to succeed. Any distraction would cause her to fail.
Just one more push, one more, and- It shattered. Like a pane of glass, the gift shattered into a million parts as fine as dust. She tried to scoop some up, but it blew away from the little bit of wind her hand made when it came down. This all took place in the Dark, she was pretty sure, and outside someone was screaming horribly. Even with the sensation of being broken, it bothered her enough to step outside her head.
That's me, she thought, bewildered. I'm screaming. Jexa clamped her mouth shut and staggered to the nearby wall. Xion stood behind her, paralyzed.
She heard Xion take a step forward. "Jexa, what-?"
"Go back to the castle," she ordered, her voice raspy. "I just, need to go." She opened a portal on the wall and fell through it on to the floor of the In Between. Cirix sat attentive.
"Poor Jexa," he said in a hushed tone. "All broken." He cuddled up beside her for comfort, but she pushed him away.
"I don't want you," she growled. "This is your fault. Take me somewhere I can stay for awhile if you really want to help, somewhere with little or no people, somewhere dark."
Cirix nodded and walked over to a spot, then sat down beside it. "Here. Dark Margin."
She pushed herself off the ground and walked unsteadily through the spot he had indicated, ending up at a nighttime beach with dark waters, black sand, and rocks serving as an odd but beautiful form of decoration. She sat down on the near one and buried her face in her hands.
"How could this happen? What's going to happen now?" she said, half-expecting an answer from someone, anyone. Already the dust-like particles had settled into her being, but she couldn't feel the effects of the gift. "What have I done?"
(/)
Back at the castle, Saix and Xemnas conversed in Where Nothing Gathers. Xigbar sat in his throne, listening in as a guest and another source of input for the meeting.
"Xion and Jexa have not returned for a whole day. Their mission did not entail such a absence. Should we send someone to search Twilight Town for them?" Saix asked.
Xemnas sat with his head on his fist, his face unreadable. "No," he said after a pause. "Let them come back to us. I am positive they are not in any sort of danger. Jexa has already returned to us once after a delay. We still have Roxas, so Xion's absence will not greatly affect our operations."
"As you wish, Superior," Saix said. He shifted his gaze to Xigbar. "And what might you add? Your mission did take place at Twilight Town today."
Xigbar crossed his arms. "They weren't there. Wherever they decided to party, it wasn't Twi Town." He shrugged. "Whatever. They left, they're not back yet, the end."
Xemnas smiled, although the expression was minute. "The end." A column of darkness engulfed him, leaving Xigbar and Saix alone. They exchanged knowing glances and disappeared themselves, meeting up outside the room.
"Xion can be left to her own devices for all I care, but Jexa's abilities require her to return," Saix stated.
"And let me guess, you want me to find her against Xemnas' orders, right Isa?"
"Find her. Don't bring her back. Report to me. Understand? You begin work on this first thing tomorrow. Have her tell you something about a world and call it reconnassaince," he said, ignoring the jibe.
Xigbar punched Saix in the arm, receiving a glare in return. "I like your style, moon-boy. You might actually have a brain."
"Just get the job done," Saix said, tired of explaining. He had better things to do than play around with Xigbar.
"Sure, whatever Mr. Smarty-Pants."
"If I had a heart, this would be the part where I say I hate you."
Xigbar grinned and waved goodbye. "Nice to know I'm so loved around here." Saix shook his head and left in the opposite direction of Xigbar. It would take twice as long to reach the members' quarters the way he was going, but if he didn't have to deal with Xigbar, then it made it all worthwhile.