Author's Note: So sorry for the long delay! I completely hit a wall with this chapter, so I took a little time to clear my head. But I'm back on track now, and the pace is going to start to pick up from here.
Chapter 10: Charity and Compassion
"You know, Cora, I never thought about it that way before. Makes me think Thane did, though. Seeing him talk to these drala'fa, it was a side of him I hadn't really seen before. Some of that coldness about him seemed to melt away—to the point where I started to wonder which persona was the act and which one was real.
"Remember when I said it hadn't occurred to me that he might have a family? Well, I could sure see it now. Especially with this one little kid we ran into. Heh-heh, he ran into us, actually. Little human kid, maybe seven or eight years old, with stringy yellow hair and big blue eyes. He comes bolting out of a shop as fast as his dirty little feet can carry him and barrels straight into me, then falls on his butt. Takes one look at me and starts to cry. 'I'm sorry! I won't do it again, I promise!' the poor thing wails.
"'Aw, it's okay, little guy,' I start to say, but Thane's already crouched down next to him.
"'What won't you do again?' he asks gently.
"The boy looks nervously from Thane to me and back to Thane, and starts to scoot slowly backward, away from us. Thane makes no move to stop him. 'I was… I was tryin' to steal some food,' the little urchin mumbles. 'I know I ain't s'posed to, but I ain't got no money an' I'm so hungry…' Poor kid's eyes start wellin' up again. 'Please don't 'rest me.'
"Thane chuckles softly. 'We're not going to arrest you, son,' he says. 'What's your name?'
"'Nicolas,' the boy says with a sniffle.
"'Well, Nicolas, why don't you come with us, and we'll get you something to eat.' Thane stands and extends a hand to help him up.
"Little Nicolas just sits there for a minute, staring up at us, still unsure if he can trust us or not. Can't say I blame the kid. Finally, though, the promise of food wins out, and he puts his tiny hand in Thane's."
Drack took a sip of his drink, then set the tankard back down and pushed it away. "You humans talk a lot about 'getting in touch with your feelings' or whatever," he grunted. "Krogan ain't real big on that. But I sure was havin' feelings that day, and rememberin' it all is bringin' 'em all back." He made a face. "Seein' Thane with that little kid… I could imagine how he mighta been with his son. Brought home just what'd been taken from him. What I'd taken from him. That kind of guilt… It's hard to describe."
A brittle silence fell over the table, and before she could stop herself, Ryder said quietly, "It's like… it's that feeling like you need to either throw up or eat something, and you can't do either one." She swallowed hard. "It's feeling so empty you think you'll explode."
All eyes turned to her in surprise.
"That… yeah, that's one way to put it," said Drack slowly.
Ryder felt a hand settle gently on her shoulder, and turned to see Jaal's catlike eyes shining down at her with concern. She shrugged, trying to look nonchalant and probably failing. "The Forge. Akksul." She looked away, unable to meet his gaze, his agonized voice as she'd gunned down his erstwhile friend echoing in her mind. "It's not the same thing—for one, even knowing what I know now, I'd do it again anyway," she said to Drack. "But for what it's worth… I know the feeling."
"I think it's safe to say most of us have moments like that," Liam offered. "The things we're not proud of, that keep coming back to haunt us. Whether it's just in our minds or not."
There were nods of agreement from around the table.
Drack gritted his teeth, then snatched up his tankard and drained it in one shot. "Yeah, well, we can all have our share-fest later. I'm not done."
"So we find a less-disreputable-looking café and get the little tyke a meal—some weird human concoction called a 'cheeseburger' or something. Kid devours it like he ain't seen food in weeks. And the whole time, Thane's just watchin' him quietly, not speaking. I'm gettin' fidgety, but the kid doesn't seem to care. Finally, he starts to slow down, and looks at Thane a little guiltily. 'Oh, uh, thanks, mister,' he mumbles.
"Thane just smiles back at him. 'You're welcome,' he says. 'You're feeling better now?'
"Nicolas nods happily.
"'Good.' Thane folds his hands on the table. 'I'd like to talk to you for a little while, if I may.'
"A little of that wariness comes back to the little boy's face, but he swallows his mouthful of food and says, 'Okay.'
"Thane pulls up the picture of Skell on his omni-tool. 'Can you tell us anything about this man? Have you seen him?'
"Nicolas's eyes go wide, and he looks like he's gonna bolt. 'Why are you looking for Uncle Marty?' he whimpers.
"That surprises me. 'This scumbag's your uncle?' I demand without thinking.
"Thane scowls at me as Nicolas shrinks down in his chair, whimpering. Then he turns back to the boy and says gently, 'Is that true?'
"'Sort of,' Nicolas sniffles. 'He was my mama's friend, I guess. He would bring her candy and stay all night.' He pouts. 'He never let me have any candy. Mama said it was only for grown-ups.'
"'Where's your mom now?' I ask. 'We'll take you back to her, and we'd like to talk to her about… uh, Uncle Marty.'
"Nicolas's lip quivers, and tears start to roll down his face, leaving trails in the dirt on his cheeks. 'Mama's dead,' he sobs. 'She was really sick. Uncle Marty was s'posed to take care of me. He promised her. But then he sent me away.'
"Now I'm seein' red. Sounds like Skell was sleepin' with this kid's mother and supplyin' her with red sand. Probably got her hooked on it in the first place. I'd bet good money it was the red sand that killed her, too. But the poor woman fell in love with him and asked him to take her son in when she passed. And then the slimy, heartless bastard just tossed the kid aside like so much garbage. I started to hope that when we found this guy, Thane would let me get a few licks in.
"I can see on Thane's face that he's connectin' the dots, too, and comin' to the same conclusion. His jaw clenches and his eyes go hard. 'Nicolas,' he says, and his voice is real quiet and controlled, 'do you know where he is?'
"Nicolas nods miserably. 'Think so.'
"'Can you tell us?'
"The boy thinks for a moment, then says, 'No. But… I think I can take you there.'
"Thane claps him on the shoulder. 'Good boy. Finish your meal, and we'll go.'
"Yeah, guys, I see what you're all thinking. I was thinkin' it, too. 'Hey, Thane,' I say. 'A word?'
"We step away from the table and keep our voices low so Nicolas can't hear us. 'What's the matter, Drack?' he asks.
"'What's the matter? Takin' this kid with us, that's what's the matter,' I growl. 'We don't know what we're walkin' into. He could get hurt. He could get us hurt.'
"'The boy is our only lead on Skell's location,' Thane argues. 'I don't see that we have a choice. We have to take that risk.'
"'Fine,' I concede, 'but what happens when we find him?'
"That gives him pause. 'I can handle Skell alone,' he says finally. 'You take Nicolas back to the ship. When we've completed our mission, we'll bring him to the Citadel and find someone who'll take him in.'
"I just stare at him. 'You're askin' me to babysit?'
"'We can't just leave him,' Thane says. 'He's in danger as long as he's on Omega.'
"'Yeah, and so's every other kid we talked to,' I tell him. 'Why Nicolas?'
"Thane doesn't answer, just turns away to go back to where Nicolas is sitting. I grab his arm to stop him. 'Thane. He's not Kolyat.'
"Thane freezes, still with his back to me. He's silent for a long moment, then he just says, 'I know,' and pulls free of my grasp. But not before I hear him mutter, 'Arashu, forgive me.'"