I'm back for a bit

A tingle ran down my spine as I smelt the familiar scent of the demon who had stolen my heart. It was still raining and I knew his shirt would be wet, clinging to his chest and every other part of his torso. I tried not to look as he spoke, his voice colder than the rain wetting my skin. "You called?"

I shifted a little, hesitant to answer him. "I ..."
"Speak up!" he snapped at me, clearly not pleased to have been summoned like a mongrel pup.

I gathered my courage. "I... I know...I think I know who killed Amy." The moment those words left my lips, I felt his hand on my collar, jerking me forward harshly. I looked up at him, terrified. He was so beautiful, so close to me but his eyes were filled with a furious rage that left me trembling.

"Tell me," he demanded.

"I..."

He shoved me back down to the floor. "I am not in the mood to be toyed with, brat!"

I lay there, whimpering as quietly as I could. "...Claude," I finally choked out. "He ...is here. He... AH!"

His foot slammed into my stomach. "Don't lie to me!" he hissed. He pulled me up by my hair and I was helpless, unable to fight him off. "Tell me what you know!"

"Please... I swear," I promised. "Claude is here. He seeks to make us miserable." I gazed up with him, begging him silently to believe me. He stared back for a moment and dropped me onto the wet concrete beneath us.

"Fine. I will find him," he turned away but I reached for the leg of his trousers.

"Please... please don't leave me here," I must have sounded pathetic but I was passed the point where my pride mattered any more.

There was a long pause then a sigh.

Arms hooked beneath me, lifting me up and holding me against a chest I was once familiar with. "You are hopeless, young master," he said softly as he carried me through the rain. "Completely hopeless." I closed my eyes, resting my forehead against his chest. I had missed this, missed his arms around me.

He took me far from that little ally, carrying me into a warm house. I was surprised but grateful when he ran me a warm bath and then he left me alone in the bathroom. I took advantage of his absence, bathing quickly. I didn't want him to see my wounds. It wasn't something he should ever see. I dried and pulled back on the wet shirt I had been wearing. I had nothing else to wear and I had no right to anything else.

The door opened and Sebastian entered in a pair of dark jeans. I looked away quickly, keeping my eyes on my hands.

"What are you wearing?" he asked as he approached me.

"A...a shirt," it came out as a stutter, making my cheeks flame red in humiliation.

A sigh of annoyance came from the elder as he strolled over to the wardrobe. Inside, I could see plenty of her clothes, Amy's clothes, and I wondered how many joys she had shared with Sebastian that I never could. He brought out a t-shirt and threw it at me, ignoring my flinch. I shifted uncomfortably, growing red under his gaze so I made my way to the bathroom to change.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian sighed, sounding though he had been putting up with an energetic five year old all day.

"Going in the bathroom t-to change," I flushed at my stutter. He must of thought me such a pathetic little brat and I couldn't blame him. I was pathetic.

"Why?"

I didn't know how to answer that. There were so many reasons I wanted to hide my body from him. I was ashamed of it, repulsed by it and I didn't want to see the disgust when he saw me. I wanted... I wanted to give him my soul.

"Come here."

I obeyed him with some reluctance. I was silent as he removed the shirt covering my naked flesh and I was silent when he showed no sign of surprise at the wounds littering my skin. He helped me get into clothes that were several sizes too big. "You've seen these before." I commented at my wounds.

"Some of them I inflicted myself. I wonder, however, why they are still almost fresh." His eyes bore into mine with an intensity I had never seen before. "You have been opening them up, haven't you, young master? I didn't realize you enjoyed pain."

"I don't. I didn't." I stuttered, feeling hot about my cheeks.

"So flustered." He seemed to enjoy my embarrassment.

I was silent, unable to look at the man I longed for. Was it too much to as to have him pretend to care about me? Just for a little while. Was I not allowed just a brief moment of happiness? Perhaps this empty melancholy was all I was allowed after the bitter damnation that is my life. But, perhaps if I prayed, if I begged to all gods known and unknown, if I repented for everything, maybe I would be allowed to have just a small moment of happiness. Not much. Just his arms in a loving embrace. Just once. Just for a moment.

Was that too much?

"You're crying," Sebastian's voice cracked through my thoughts and I turned away, wiping the waters of sorrow from the pools from which they fell.

"I'm not," I retorted, keeping my back to him.

For a fraction of a second, I felt his hand on my shoulder but it was soon gone alone with the warmth it gave me.

I knew I was doomed to love him unconditionally until the day I died but did he have to make it so difficult with moments like that? It wasn't even affectionate but, as the idiot I was, I couldn't help but hope that one day I would be enough for him. Maybe I would be loved by him... but that was just a dream.

It is pleasant to dream but, to dream of the impossible only leads to unhappiness.