Beginning of Our End
Chapter 11
Bella's POV
I was in the shower when I finally came out of my storm of depression. I was sick of hurting him and his family anymore. I had what I wanted more than anything else on earth and I wasn't taking advantage of it. I was going to live for eternity, but I had to regain my strength first. Edward and Carlisle had been casting worried glances at me every few seconds. They were worried because I had lost a lot of weight. I was pale, well, paler than normal. My skin was clammy and cold. My eyes had dark circles beneath them. I probably resembled my vampire family very much now. I nearly laughed at the thought. Now that I was clean and dressed, I went downstairs.
"I'm hungry." I said when I found them all in the living area. They all stared at me as they had forgotten I was here. Edward appeared to let out a deep breath, relieved. Esme bustled into the kitchen, throwing pots and pans about. Carlisle kindly asked me about my health and I swore to him that I was fine. I smiled at Edward, shyly and at the same time I was apologetic. Esme hurried back with a peanut butter sandwich, claiming I needed protein most. "I'll cook you a wonderful steak for dinner!" She beamed encouragingly. I smiled at her offer. Alice was sitting in Jasper's lap watching television. Emmett and Rosalie were in their bedroom doing God-knows-what. Sometimes I wondered if Carlisle and Esme ever thought it disturbing that their children had all fallen for each other. I immediately tossed that thought, remembering that they don't think like normal humans. I felt whole again. Everything was right. Not in pieces, I was complete. I grasped Edward's hand and he took the hint. He waved to Carlisle and Esme and we escaped upstairs.
Edward's POV
I felt so relieved when she came downstairs. Her face looked brighter than it had in days. She still looked tired, but in her eyes, I saw determination. I was ecstatic, I almost picked her up and ran with her to my room, but I had to be patient.
There. That was the signal. I grabbed her hand and with a wave to Carlisle, we disappeared. I laid back on my bed, and pulled her down with me. She sat up and immediately began what I was sure would be a speech. "I don't know what to say." She looked away, "I'm so sorry that I was brooding." Hah, brooding, I laughed a little, "Depressed and making me mad is more like it." I immediately regretted those words, "I'm sorry." She had dropped her gaze, "No," She began, "You're right. I had no reason to break down like that when you all have done so much for me. I had no reason to treat you all so horribly. I'm sorry, Ed-" I cut her off, "Bella, you had plenty of reason to get upset. Plenty of reason to want to kill Jasper for butting in." shook my head, "Bella, let yourself feel what you want to feel. If you are angry, be angry. If you are happy, then shout it out! Don't, don't for one second think you have to hide from me or anyone else." I pulled her face up to mine, "I love you the way you are and the way you want to be." I kissed her lightly on the forehead. She was so soft and tender. How could someone be fragile and strong at the same time? I had no idea, but she did it wonderfully. I had fallen onto my back and pulled her torso onto mine. I had one arm firmly welded around her waist, clinging onto her back. The other arm was twisted around her neck, holding her face to mine. I love how she tastes, sweet, and like a vanilla cream. She was the essence of woman. Our kisses became heated. I could feel her moving her body weight to straddle me.
Bella's POV
I had no idea what I was doing, but I had moved so I was on top of him. I had my fingers caressing his face and neck gently. I could feel a groan rising in his throat as we kissed. He snaked his tongue into my mouth somehow. I loved how he tasted, of raw spearmint. I leaned my body weight further onto him. A moan escaped my lips when he moved his mouth down my throat. I felt his tongue swirl in the hollow of my neck. His hands ran firmly and safely up and down my back. I was holding onto his shoulders while he kissed me. Why was it suddenly cold? I felt my shirt being lifted over my head. I wasn't wearing a bra and there I was; bare to him and our lust. He lightly rolled me off of him and, discarding his own shirt, he had trapped me under him. He breathed coolly on my chest, "You are beautiful, my love." I wasn't sure if I wanted to be touched or not. That is, until I felt his fingertips lightly probe my chest. They rained over my breasts lightly. Barely touching me, he kept staring into my eyes. Even when he lowered his face to kiss, he kept looking at me. Whether I was in heaven or hell, I didn't know. It was a sweet torment.
Edward's POV
I was scared. More than that, I was aroused. I was extremely aroused and lustful. When did I remove our shirts? I felt her shift underneath me, gently and probably without meaning to, she grazed her hips against mine. I could feel my hunger growing. I could feel myself begin to give up. All of the control I had worked so hard for, all of my sanity….it was lost from that moment on.