A/N: Shout out to queseraone and halsteadpd, both of you are the best humans and the most amazing friends. I hope everyone is having a good weekend. Enjoy!

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"How's Terry?" The first words out of his mouth when he wakes up the next day are concern for his friend. He knows that someone is with him, and he doesn't even care to see who it is, he just needs to know that Terry made it out alright. He's met with silence, and it makes him open his eyes before he's ready to.

"I know you heard me." He snaps at Mouse as he turns to look at him.

"I'm going to go get the doctor."

"Damn it Greg, just tell me he made it." He yells, already knowing that he's not going to get the answer he's looking for.

"I wish I could tell you that man." Mouse says, turning back towards him.

"It should have been me, I could have taken the bullet for him. Maybe if I actually tried to stop him, it would have been me."

"Don't go down this road again; you can't blame yourself for every brother that's lost, Jay. Especially this- this is not on you."

"He's got a wife and a newborn. Just like Joe, he's got a little boy that he'll never get to hold again, or see grow up. He's got a family." Jay says.

"So do you, Jay."

"It's not the same. I don't have a kid that'll grow up without a father."

"You're right, it's not the same. But that doesn't mean that it should have been you."

"That's exactly what it means!" Jay yells.

"I know that this is bringing up some old memories, opening old wounds."

"This has nothing to do with what happened over there."

"Really? Because it sure as hell seems like this has everything to do with what happened over there. You blame yourself for not shooting that woman and kid, just like you're blaming yourself for what happened yesterday." Mouse yells back.

"Maybe you should just go get the doctor." Jay interrupts.

"Fine." Mouse says as he walks out. The doctor comes in with a nurse a few minutes later. Mouse stays out in the hall and calls Erin.

"Mouse, how is he?"

"He's taking it pretty hard. The doctor is heading in there now." Mouse answers honestly.

"Ok I'm going to be on my way in a few." Erin says.

"No, he'd want you to focus on catching the guys that did this."

"I'm not a detective Mouse, I can't just demand that I be on a case."

"Right, well I'll see you in a bit."

XXXXXX

She gets there quickly, and Mouse is still standing out in the hallway.

"He's not talking to me anymore, maybe he'll open up to you." He admits, and she walks in cautiously.

"Hey." She says, and he looks over at her.

"Did you guys catch them?"

"Last that I heard, no, but if there's anything that you could tell me, I can tell Al and his unit."

"Did you guys try to track the chip in the bag?"

"I don't know, but I'll call to see." She says as she pulls out her phone. She calls the sergeant of the Intelligence unit, a man that's been like an uncle to her since she was fifteen.

"Hey Al, I'm at the hospital with Jay, and he said there was a chip in the bag."

"We got that from the owner of the dispensary, but we're trying to get a technical analyst that can track it."

"I thought your unit had its own technical analyst?" Erin questions quietly, with her back turned to Jay, and Mouse. Jay glances over at Mouse, and then looks back at Erin.

"Mouse can do it." Jay suggests to Erin, and she turns to look at him.

"Hang on Al." She says into the phone before pulling it away from her ear.

"Mouse can track the chip." Jay adds and Erin looks at Mouse.

"I can try." Mouse says shyly.

"Al." Erin says into the phone, making he was still on the line.

"Yeah."

"Can I bring in a civilian tech?" She asks, and he ponders for a minute before answering her.

"Yeah." He says.

"Ok we'll be right in." She concludes before hanging up. She walks closer to Jay, taking his hand in hers briefly, and looking at him.

"I'm fine Erin, you should go." He says quietly, and she nods with a sad smile.

XXXXXX

Once he's shown the room in the basement of District 21, Mouse gets straight to work. He's typing away for what seems like a few hours, but it was really only an hour before a little red dot pops up on a black and white map of the city. "It looks like the chip's last location was here." He points at the screen before sending Erin a text and she sends it to the unit.

Mouse and Erin leave to go back to the hospital at the same time the unit leaves for the raid.

A few hours later, Intelligence is parking their cars back in roll up, still dressed in all black with three perps in custody. Antonio makes sure to call Erin and let her know, but her phone goes to voicemail, so he sends her a text instead.

Both Mouse and Erin are seated in hospital chairs, taking turns sleeping. When Jay is awake he is closed off and quiet.

Even as the week passes and he gets released he doesn't seem to say more than a few sentences between his girlfriend and best friend.

XXXXXX

He attempts to pull his pants on as best as he can with one of his arms in a sling. His frustrated huffs let her know that he's having trouble, so she pulls her black dress on a little quicker in order to assist him. But when she gets to him, his hand stops her. She looks up at him.

"I can do it."

"Jay just let me help you." She says back.

"I'm good." He murmurs stubbornly, as he pulls the dark green slacks up to his waist. She nods her head and walks back towards the bathroom to remove the protective plastic covering the rest of his uniform. She hangs the dark green jacket up and cautiously makes her way back to him as he pulls his tie over his head. He avoids eye contact as she silently ties it for him. Once she's done, he goes to stand in front of the full length mirror in her room.

The drive to the church is silent, and when they get there they only say a few words to Terry's wife before going to take a seat. He sits there unmoving, eyes fixed on the picture of Terry next to his casket. Erin looks at him here and there, holding back tears as she takes in the mixed emotions on his face.

She wants to say something—anything—to him as they drive to the condo, but nothing feels right, so she stays quiet as he sits in the passenger seat. His hands are running up and down his thighs while he stares out the window.

"Thanks for coming with me." He says to her, once they get to the door of his and Kelly's place.

"Of course."

He unlocks the door and opens it a little. She moves to follow him, but then he stops her. "I uh, I think I just need some time alone." He says looking down at his hand with his keys briefly before he looks up and sees tears immediately flooding her eyes.

He's pushing her away again, and as much as she wants to tell him that she can help—that she wants to be there for him—she knows it'll be a feeble attempt. She doesn't want to make this about her because it's not about her at all. This is about him and the way he wants to deal with things.

"If that's what you want. Just know that I'm here for you if you need me." She mutters, and he nods. His expression is cold, but she can see the battle he's fighting in his head. She leans in and places a soft, slow kiss to his cheek before walking away. He watches her go and feels his heart ache even more, especially when he sees her hand go up to her face. Once she's out of sight, he opens the door the rest of the way and goes inside.

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