Sorry for taking so long to update, I was completely uninspired, but I guess that watching the first episode of the new season inspired me a bit…
Since you've probably forgotten what happened before, let me recap the previous chapters for you:
-Rachel and Shelby had a great relationship
-Rachel was on and off with Finn until she accepted to marry him
-Rachel loved Finn but still had feelings for Jesse, and Shelby found this out from a drunk Rachel's during her bachelorette party, Jesse also found out since he heard everything on the phone
-Jesse's life is explained so that we can understand why he is a pretentious ass
-They are all very famous and successful: Jesse is a Hollywood heartthrob and recording artist, Finn plays drums in a very famous rock band and Rachel is Broadway's darling.
-Rachel gets an opportunity to work in LA and accepts since she needs a break from Broadway
-Rachel and Jesse meet again when they are asked to present a GG award together, and their spark is reignited. Even though Rachel is still married, Jesse is happy just to be around her.
-Sensing that there's something between them, paparazzi get a hold of the video from the egging incident and it goes viral; Jesse thinks Rachel won't be able to forgive him but she does, and lets him know that she still cares for him
-Rachel and Jesse perform a Barbra tribute at the Oscars, Finn dies the next day of an aneurism
-Jesse makes arrangements for Rachel to go away to his house in Bali to grieve Finn's death and get better
-Almost a year after Finn's death, Jesse visits Rachel in Bali and basically she jumps his bones.
CHAPTER 11 – I HATE TO BURST YOUR LITTLE BUBBLE, BUT…
"I've got to go…"
"What?" she said hazily, still half asleep.
"I've got to go. I just turned on my phone, which had been off since I got here, and I have ten thousand messages, I need to get back to LA as soon as possible…" Jesse said, looking at Rachel with a mixture of guilt and longing.
"But Jesse, you just got here three days ago, I thought you could stay until Wednesday, it's only Sunday morning…"
"Rach, I know, believe me, there's nothing I want more than to stay here until Wednesday, but you know those assholes from Star Factory, always citing the stupid contract.. I swear, when I was there it was so different, now it's just a money making machine… And to top it off, the SAG strike is unquestionably happening, probably in less than a month, and that's going to bring most of LA to a halt, so Universal wants to move forward the premiere two weeks…"
Rachel was staring at him dumbfounded. She had been so out of it for so long, she almost forgot the sacrifices and commitments that came with show business, and she didn't know if she wanted to go back to that mess.
Jesse's face suddenly lit up.
"Well maybe, you can come home with me and we'll go to the premiere together! It'll be perfect, after all I need a date and there's no one I'd rather take than you!" he said excitedly, already picturing Rachel standing next to him on the red carpet.
But Rachel burst his bubble immediately.
"Jesse, I don't think so, I don't think I'm ready to go back… and I don't think I'm ready to be out in public with you yet, I mean, it's only been a year since Finn's passing… This is all going too fast Jesse, I don't even know…" Not even Rachel could believe the deluge of words coming out of her mouth, they sounded awful even to her. And that look in Jesse's face…
"Oh, well…" Jesse was out of words, he just felt like a bucket of icy water was dumped over him. He tried to smile and just started packing.
Rachel was also out of words. She just sat there on the bed covered only by a thin sheet and watched him pack in silence. When he was almost finished, she suddenly snapped out of it, stood up and went to him.
"Jesse, I just need a little more time… I do want to be with you, I just need a few more months…" She was holding his face now.
Jesse couldn't believe what he was hearing, they had spent the past two days making love, he even proposed to her last night… She didn't say 'yes let's get married' but the way she acted, the way she made love to him after that, was all the confirmation he needed. This was it, he was at long last with her and now she suudenly needed more time.
He reluctantly put his arms in her waist.
"That's ok Rachel, you don't have to say anything else, I get it."
"You get what Jesse?"
"Forget it Rachel, whatever, take your time. I'm sure I'll be able to get a date for the premiere, and don't worry about me, I'm used to being by myself. I have to go now."
He gave her a soft kiss on the lips, but her lips insisted and he kissed her more intensely, and now his body wanted more… Hell, it might as well be the last time he'd make love to her, maybe she'd move on in time. At that moment he loved her and hated her at the same time, only she could make him so happy and so miserable. So he kissed her, touched her, made love to her like it was the last time, and judging by her earlier reaction, it might as well be.
He left without turning back at her, he would not let her see the tears in his eyes, the same tears that didn't let him see her tears.
On the long way back home, Jesse was despondent, he couldn't help feeling like a fool for once again expecting too much from Rachel. He thought that maybe, over the last year, she'd forgiven him for all his youthful transgressions, and had perceived just how much he truly loved her. He'd been so blinded by her horny hormones (and his own) that he didn't realize until he was on the plane that she never actually said "I love you" or had agreed to marry him, and he couldn't help feeling like a fool for thinking that he could finally share his life with Rachel. Only she had the power to make him feel so vulnerable, and he hated that, but he recognized it was his fault, after all, he was still the same idiot that brought her flowers to the opening night of her first Broadway performance, those thorn less roses he wished ended up on his face instead of in the trash.
Shelby knew that Rachel's ability to sense things, what she thought made her "semi-psychic", was something her daughter got from her. And today she was sensing something was off, so she'd spent the morning trying to ignore the funny feeling, she'd had enough drama in her life to last three lifetimes, and lately she'd made peace with herself for all her previous mistakes.
But suddenly she was able to put a face to the funny feeling, and she called Jesse immediately.
At first she was surprised, she didn't even know that Jesse had flown to Bali. As he reluctantly relayed his side of the story, she was surprised at the way things were turning out: this wasn't the way things were supposed to happen, Jesse and Rachel were supposed to end up together and live happily ever after, and again, enough with the drama! And she couldn't help but feel that this was all HER fault, maybe destiny had other plans for them, maybe her interfering on key events had caused all of this mess. It was her that kept Jesse from Rachel while they were both in college, it was her that never told Rachel how Jesse had seen all of her Broadway shows, it was her that kept Jesse from talking to Rachel right before her wedding to Finn.
Other than Rachel and Jesse, she was the common denominator in all of their drama, maybe even responsible for all of it. To Shelby, both were her children, both were a part of her, and she was determined to make this right. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't keep anymore secrets from Rachel, and she felt it was her responsibility to make everything right, to make THEM happen, and time was running out.
As always, your reviews are very very welcome and make updates materialize sooner!
And I feel I must start a campaign to pester Aoife28 to update "Sink or Swim", what I consider to be the BEST fic out there, I reread it the other day and it's just so good, and the cliffhanger is killing me! (Sorry, needed to get that out of my chest!)